The Essence of Love
AN: THIS IS THE FOURTH CHAPTER!! It is back in Sakura's POV...
Chapter Four: Hello
Sasuke's visit settled me somehow. He's more pleasant than I ever imagined he could be. My mind was racing with thoughts of the raven haired Uchiha. Not painful dull thoughts, but happy bright thoughts that made my cheeks grow warm.
So, what made my mind focus on this dream. One I will never stop having, one that will always haunt me. Why, when my heart finally feels mended, does my subconscious have to dub deep into my pain, forcing me too relieve this dreadful mistake.
My inner self reassures me. 'It was only a mistake, you were young, and you couldn't have known the little girl was standing there. You didn't know the rouge ninja would dodge your attack. You tried to save her, remember, you used so much of your chakra trying to save the little girl.'
Playground
school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no
one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I am your mind giving you
someone to talk to
Hello
My chakra was low, and I was afraid for myself. In a moment of selfishness I let the young girl die. She had the rest of her life to live, she deserved it. Way more than myself. Yet in that moment, I wanted to live. So I stopped trying to heal the wound made by the impaling of my kunie. I watched as her smile faded, and her eyes glazed.
Seconds passed before I realized what I had done. Granted, I have killed many men in my career as a ninja. I have heard them beg and cry for their lives to be spared, but unlike this little girl, not one of them deserved a chance at life.
A putrid sinking came over me. This was my first mission as ANBU, and I was on the verge of failure. I had one last opportunity to find the man I had been sent after, and I had. The orders given to me were clear. 'Do whatever you must to retrieve the scroll.' The first thought that came to mind was of a violent nature. I planned to take the scroll, this would lead in the end of his worthless and rancid life.
I cornered the rogue ninja, and gave him his options. He could either capitulate now, and I spare him a slow painful death, or he could fight and find out just how angry I can get. He chose the second, and we fought. The fight played even until I cornered him. Without even thinking, a weakness one's in under rage, I pulled a kunie from my case. Clumsily heaving the small knife at the man. He dodged the attack.
If
I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this
dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello I'm the lie
living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
I heard a small scream and my heart sank. I pulled another kunie from my pouch, this time striking the man. My mission was complete, and I had come out victorious. The little girl was a casualty in the fight. I had been told many times that the innocent are harmed by accident. I have been told that if ever you were to kill a by-standard the only responsibility you have is to tell the leader of your village and the guardian of the child.
I woke from the dream, a cold sweat was clinging too my skin. My breath was rigid, and my heart was racing. My throat tightened as a heavy sob pushed it's way to the surface. I let out an angry- broken- scream into my pillow.
This dream was a reminder of what I am. The monster who let a small child die to protect herself. The useless little girl who fixated on an uninterested boy. The dream reminded me of how stupid I am to think that I deserve better. Do I forgive Sasuke? He has my heart, and that will not change. I forgave him the moment he asked me too. The most troubling question is, can Sasuke forgive me?
Suddenly I
know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here
All that's left of
yesterday
AN: This is a sad chapter, but it fits. The song is short, so the chapter was too. I tried to make it longer, though. I hope you like it. (:
