Chapter 4: Everyone has a Cross to Bear

Later that night I sit strumming my guitar, one leg slung over the arm of the recliner. Maka is out running errands presumably picking up groceries that she will challenge me to somehow transform into an edible meal in the near future. We have a house rule that as long as the cook doesn't complain about cooking, the people eating the food do not get to complain about the taste, texture, or general appearance of the food unless they puke as a result. There is a reason Blair rarely eats meals at home.

A knock at the door disturbs my composing. I figure it's Blair. When she forgets her key she usually changes into her cat form and comes in one of the windows, but it's raining and windy this evening so all the windows are tightly shut and latched.

I set aside my guitar and shuffle over to the door opening it without peering out the little peep hole.

To my surprise I find Kid in his Reaper regalia with a dire expression on his face.

"Oh, hey! Whazzup?" I say taking a half step backward to invite him into the apartment.

He enters and scans the living room, evaluating his seating options. His life is ruled by such severe OCD that even selecting a chair can cripple him with internal conflict. Sometimes I chose to poke fun at his handicap, but today he seems too serious for any ribbing. I offer him a cup of tea as I know that tends to calm his nerves.

"I came to talk to you about our project in Professor Stein's class."

I roll my eyes. "I suspect that you are not particularly enjoying your time with Kirikou."

I shrug nonchalantly. "Yeah, well. Whadduya do?"

"You could tell Maka how you feel."

His eyes meet mine with an intense stare.

"What do you mean?" Best to play dumb I figure. Gotta stay cool.

Kid smirks at me. "Soul, I'm not going to judge you. You don't have to be embarrassed."

I groan. "Am I that obvious?"

Kid shakes his head. "No, but you haven't exactly been discreet either. I've always known that your protective impulses for her are not strictly the devotion of a weapon to a meister, but throughout the entire lesson today you were constantly distracted by what she was doing with the Twins. I sensed it as I was experiencing much the same problem. I feel so…naked without Liz and Patty."

"You….and those two?" I arch an eyebrow at the image that has popped into my head of Kid trying to somehow symmetrically pleasure the two sisters at the same time.

Kid raises his hands in protest. "Oh, no it isn't like that with us. Liz is dating some bartender and I think Patty might actually want to marry a giraffe," he chuckles.

Sighing deeply he continues, "Besides things are considerably more complicated for reapers." His eyes stare past me as though a movie of his future is playing a millimeter to the left of me.

"I envy you," he says and for the first time, I realize something I have always known about Kid but never wished to acknowledge. Despite the fact he is one of the gang- he is always somehow slightly removed from the rest of the team. He stands apart from the rest of us because there seems to be some kind of knowledge or sorrow there that doesn't seem to belong in the psyche of a teenager. Unwelcome feelings flood me as I wonder how such an old soul has gotten trapped in the body of a young man. Not knowing what to say I remain quiet letting Kid say whatever is on his mind. Even though it is awkward to be talking about this with him it seems like the least I can do especially now that I better understand the burden he bears.

Kid smiles a little though it seems fake to me. "We have been incredibly lucky up until now, but at some point it is inevitable that our luck will run out and I fear that one of our friends will be lost."

I gulp glancing at his reaper mask that is sitting beside him on the couch. I haven't seen him with it in months. "Kid, do you know something?"

"No, if I had any information I'd gladly share it with you, but I've got nothing concrete. I've just got a gut feeling that the peace we are currently experiencing will be short lived and before long we will once again be fighting for the very right to live."

Kid's dramatic flare notwithstanding, I contemplate what he is saying and it makes sense. Life is too short to hide happy feelings like love and friendship. I guess a reaper knows that better than anyone. I guess I should tell Maka, but what if she doesn't feel the way I do?

"That said, I'm not only here as a friend."

"Oh? You need help on a mission?" I ask.

"No, I'm here as a teammate. I'm concerned that you may be compromising both your meisters by not working through these…feelings you have for Maka."

His words stab me like a knife but only because I know them to be entirely true. I've failed to protect Kirikou from taking hits because I've been paying more attention to Maka. He's right my hormones are getting in the way of things.

"For all our sakes, I'd encourage you to talk to Maka before it's too late. I find it highly improbable that we will not suffer casualties especially if we are for some reason paired up with our new weapons. I'm having a hell of a time getting that damn lighting rod to do what I want."

I snort. "Maka would kill me if she knew. It could mess up everything. I can't tell her."

Kid nods, "I understand your concerns, but for Kirikou's sake you need to get this out in the open. And there is a distinct possibility that your feelings may be reciprocated. I've caught Maka watching you more than once when Liz and Patty and the enemy should have been retaining her attention."

Now I feel really bad. Kid is basically telling me that Liz and Patty are being endangered because I can't get my shit together. Wonderful, but still I feel the need to defend my decision to wait for her to make the first move.

"Doesn't the DWMA frown on weapons and meisters getting involved?"

Kid laughs, "Weapons and meisters are 'involved' from the moment they are partnered. It is a multi-faceted and extremely complex relationship. The fact that all good pairings are between soul mates means that inevitably there are a lot of weapon/meister pairs that become romantically entangled with one another. It's the nature of the beast and everyone knows it. The only reason my father makes all the students attend that stupid assembly about the dangers of sex with your partner is because they don't want to have to repartner students every few weeks because they've been reckless with one another's hearts or gotten their partners pregnant- there was a rash of that a few years back. It seemed like half the graduating class was expecting. And don't tell me you forgot Black*Star's blatant abuse of the meister role when he tried to convince Tsubaki that they could improve their soul resonance by having tantric sex with one another?"

"I forgot all about that. I've never seen Tsubaki so mad!"

"As well she should have been, but Black*Star's ploys to get laid are entirely different from your desires for Maka." Oh, Shinigami this is awkward. Oh, and he's continuing…

"I know you love her very deeply," he says.

We sit in silence for a few moments. I don't know what to say to that. For years I'd immediately deny that I had any interest or attraction to Maka, but Kid's my friend. I'm not gonna lie to him and I can't think of any snappy comeback. So, I sit in silence wondering why I am willing to listen to advice on my love life from someone who as far as I know has never had a girlfriend…or boyfriend…or maybe even gone on a date. There's just something about Kid that gives anything he says great validity as though it were the word of Lord Death himself, maybe more so since Kid doesn't have the voice of a freak.

"Well, I'm off," Kid announces suddenly, setting his cup down on the coffee table. "I have to go hunt down my ladies and make them feel better about their failed attempts to resonant with Maka."

"Good luck."

"I'll need it. Women are so insanely difficult to work with. The other day I had to agree to let Liz paint my toenails just to get them to work on our cannon attack."

He complains, but I suspect he enjoys their company. Someday I will ask him how their unlikely triad formed, but right now I have too much on my mind.

Kid thanks me for the tea and puts a hand on my shoulder. "And good luck to you. Remember Maka is your friend. She will understand. Just promise me you won't wait too long."

I nod and watch as the mysterious meister positions himself on his hoverboard and takes off.

I pace my room deep in thought about how to best approach the issue with Maka. How do I tell her and how do I keep both her and Kirikou safe? I owe it to both of them to do what I can to protect them from harm.

I take a deep breath. I'm going to have to swallow my pride.