A/N: Thanks again for all the lovely words of support and encouragement for this story. And to all the new followers I don't recognise from my previous fics thank you for joining this journey with my favourite couple. And the good thing about a controversial beginning, lots of reviews, I love the strong opinions on Melanie. For those that log in I always respond and for to those guest reviewers, thanks!
Chapter 4 - Support
They arrived back at the hotel they were staying in a little while later. They hadn't spoken more than a handful of words since leaving the wake.
'You want to get some dinner?' Melanie asked, in an attempt to break the ice. She looked at some brochures for dining the hotel had left in the room.
Jane collapsed into an armchair and rubbed his eyes. 'I'm not hungry. Maybe later.'
He was exhausted, he hadn't slept in close to 48 hours and after all the emotions stirred up in him that day he closed his eyes.
He felt her presence at his side. 'I'm sorry, Patrick. I was jealous. And petty. Whatever time she needs this week give it to her.'
He opened his eyes and nodded, smiling faintly. He felt the guilt tear him up inside. He took her hand. 'Thank you. I know this isn't easy. You know nothing's going to happen with her, I'm just trying to be her friend.'
She nodded but he could see the unease in her eyes. 'Lie down for a few hours, you're beat. You need to get some sleep. I'll do a little work while you're resting.'
He nodded and got up from the chair. She hugged him and let her head fall on his shoulder. He smoothed out her hair and kissed her on the cheek before going over to lie on the bed.
He felt a pair of hands unbutton his shirt as he woke up and soft kisses being placed on his neck. He opened his eyes. Darkness filled the room now, he had evidently been asleep for at least three hours. A hand was now moving down his bare chest as Melanie continued the kisses, moving up to his earlobe, biting on it gently.
He put his hand to hers to stop it from going any further down his body. She stopped kissing him and drew her face away to look at him as his eyes stared at the ceiling.
'Not tonight' he said quietly.
'I'm just trying to get your mind off things, Patrick. You know, get you out of your head for a little while.'
He sighed and nodded. Sex had been the way their out of work relationship had started and she still used it when she felt under pressure or insecure. He was ashamed to admit it but it had been his escape too often over the past few years too. A way to expel the pent up frustration and anger he felt for the choices he had made in the past. But tonight he was unwilling and unable to find solace in that type of release.
'Yeah, I know. I'm not in the mood, sorry.' He extricated himself from her arms and sat up in the bed. 'Let's get some dinner, shall we?'
Annie, Lisbon and Emma arrived back at the house. Annie was planning on staying with them for a while. Her brothers were staying at a nearby hotel but she had bid them goodbye earlier as they were all catching flights early the next day. They had wanted to stay on a while longer but Lisbon insisted that they go back to their respective jobs and families and that she would be fine with Annie's support.
After Annie burned some pasta, they ate it silently, Lisbon not tasting it. She put her daughter to bed and went back into the living room. She had changed into sweat pants and one of Marcus' T shirts, needing to feel the closeness of him on her skin. Annie was ready with a glass of wine. She shook her head, remembering the path her father took after her mother died and put on the kettle instead. She wanted tea and smiled thinly at that fact. When she was having a bad day she always took a cup nowadays, the memory of a certain blond consultant smiling drinking a cup of it always coming into her head and cheering her thoughts.
Annie regarded her closely. 'It must have been strange seeing him today.' Lisbon raised her eyes away from the kettle to look at her. She was almost as good as Jane at reading her.
She shrugged, pouring in the milk and then the boiling water. 'Yeah, it was. How did he seem to you?' She wanted to think of anything else but Marcus' death right now and Jane seemed like the perfect distraction he always was.
Annie shrugged, sipping the wine Lisbon had refused. 'Not the same as I remember. Sadder I guess. What'd you make of the wife?'
'She seems okay I guess. Obviously adores him but then he never had a problem charming the ladies when he wanted to. He did seem to have a lot on his mind but with him you never know, he was probably feeling just a little awkward. It's been a long time since we saw each other and I wasn't easy on him. It's just so strange though to think of him as being married to someone who isn't Angela. She must be quite something for him to have done that.'
Annie detected the note of disappointment in her aunt's words. She knew she had been in love with Jane from the first moment she saw the two of them together. On the day of the wedding she had been the one to encourage Lisbon to call him in the hope he would reveal he felt the same way but he had let her down. But seeing him today she saw the regret in his eyes and watched as they never left her aunt. If he hadn't been in love with her all those years ago he certainly was now, no matter what his marital status was.
As Jane and Melanie were taking a walk around the Lincoln Memorial a couple of days later Annie called him.
'Patrick, can you come over to Aunt Reese's house? She told me the other night that you offered to help out this week before you went back to Austin.'
'Of course, what's wrong Annie?'
'She's...cleaning.'
Jane couldn't help a smile form. 'Is it that unusual to warrant my help?'
'It's not normal cleaning. She's been scrubbing floors, moved the refrigerator to clean behind it, taken a steam cleaner to practically every surface. If I hadn't already bathed Emma this morning I think she would have taken it to her!'
Jane laughed out loud. In her grief Lisbon's obsession with straightening a few things in times of stress had obviously taken on a new dimension. 'Okay, give me twenty minutes or so.'
'Patrick?'
'Yeah?'
'She doesn't know I called you. She'd kill me but I can't get her to stop.'
'I'll be there soon.'
Melanie had smiled thinly when he told her he was off to see Lisbon but he knew she was far from happy and was trying to put on a brave face telling him she would be fine doing some sightseeing herself.
Jane arrived at Lisbon's house shortly after. He had told Annie to take Emma out for an hour. When she answered the door her hair was scraped back into a ponytail and she was wearing a baggy T shirt (one of Marcus' he guessed) and sweatpants. Her face, arms and hands had patches of dirt and grease on them.
'What are you doing here?' Her cheeks blushed of their own accord at him seeing her in such a state. 'I told you when you left the other night I'd call you if I wanted to talk.'
'I was just passing so thought I'd drop by to see how you are. What is this, Spring cleaning?' he said, motioning to her appearance.
'How could you be just passing, we live in the suburbs for god's sake. Your hotel is at least five miles away.' She stood at the door, her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.
If it had been another time he would have teased her mercilessly about her appearance and compared her to looking like a Victorian child who was sent up to sweep chimneys. Instead he said, 'Can I come in?'
His soft tone threw her, she was expecting a smart remark, and she opened the door.
As she closed it behind her she turned around to him quickly. 'Annie. She asked you to come, didn't she?'
He shrugged. 'She was worried about you, Lisbon.'
'Goddamnit! She's almost as manipulative as you!'
She stormed past him and took up a cloth she had been using to clean some silver and continued to clean the knives and forks in front of her on the dining room table with a renewed vigour.
He sat down beside her and placed his hand over hers. 'Look at me, Lisbon. Please.'
She stopped for a second and looked at his hand on hers, his thumb gently rubbing over hers in soothing strokes. She knew he was trying to calm her down. If she looked at him he was going to ask her to breathe slowly and stare at her with those piercing eyes of his. She pulled her hand away from him. 'Stop it, Jane. I know all your tricks, remember?'
He sighed, getting up from the table. 'Do you have any tea?'
'Since when do you ask? You normally used to just help yourself. Don't tell me you've suddenly acquired some sense of personal boundaries in other people's homes.'
He smiled and began to go through her cupboards, finding quite a decent selection. 'I didn't know Marcus drank tea' he said, putting the kettle on.
'He doesn't.' She paused and then added, 'I mean he didn't.'
She stopped cleaning and her shoulders drooped. He placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before going back to his tea preparation.
'I drink it sometimes' she said wearily, picking up the cloth again and running it over a fork slowly.
He nodded and took another mug from the cupboard, deciding on chamomile for them both.
They drank the tea silently. She was staring into space and Jane wondered if she even knew he was there for a few minutes. He remembered the same feeling when his family were murdered, a sense of detachment from everything going on around him. She suddenly turned to him and said, 'Where's your wife?'
Even now when someone called her that his mind automatically thought of Angela first. 'Um..Melanie? Oh, she's doing a little sightseeing.'
'Jane, you should be with her, not me. Annie shouldn't have called you. I'm okay now. You should go.'
'In a little while. What's the matter?'
She raised her eyebrows. 'What do you think? I just buried my husband.'
'I'm aware of that Lisbon but there's a particular problem you're having trouble with. What is it?'
She glared at him and then nodded. 'I've forgotten how annoying your damn mind reading can be.'
He shot her a smile. 'Come on, you know I won't give up until you tell me.'
She sighed loudly. 'She's not even going to remember him, is she?' she said softly.
'Probably not, no.'
She glared at him again. 'Jesus, what happened to you? You used to lie to me on an almost daily basis and now you decide it's time to be truthful.' She smiled faintly at the end of the sentence.
'Sorry, I must be off my game' he replied, smiling back.
She put her hands around her mug and tapped her fingers around its sides.
'You could help her' Jane suggested. 'To make sure she remembers him.'
'Oh, how?'
'Get a box, put some photos in, maybe things they perhaps played with together, games or something like that, videos you have of them together. Write some things down yourself while things are fresh in your mind of memories you have of the two of them. Add to it when something crosses your mind or you come across something that reminds you of a story you could tell her about him. It might help you too. Something to turn your mind too than all this cleaning nonsense. When she's older and asks about what her father was like you'll have it all there ready for her.'
Tears fell from Lisbon's eyes. She spoke hoarsely and placed her hand on his. 'I should have thought of that. That's a wonderful idea.'
He squeezed her hand in response.
