Pain.
He was moving but barely registered it.
The ceiling above him blurred so he had to be. Either that or he was really screwed.
He felt so far away from everything, hands were touching him and there were pinches at his skin and lights in his eyes.
Something cumbersome was placed over his face which made it easier to breathe but he didn't want it there. He tried to pull it off but hands restrained his own and a voice told him to relax.
He couldn't remember what had happened. His brain felt fuzzy and the confusion washed over him in waves, "Beckett?" he managed to say but his voice was muffled by the mask.
The movement stopped and he was being lifted from one place to another. He could feel something being injected into his arm and he reflexively pulled away. His t shirt was being torn open, he could hear the ripping of it and something was being placed onto his skin.
All in all he hoped he was being medically treated or he would have sworn he was being abused.
There was that light in his eyes again and this time he managed to get in a good slap at the face hovering over him, "Where's Beckett?" he asked.
"I'm Doctor Lewis, can you tell me your name?"
My name, "Lt Colonel John Sheppard," he said and sucked in a painful breath, "You should know that. What happened did I crash a jumper?"
The Doctor above him looked over to his medical staff and they exchanged puzzled looks at the extent of the patient's obvious confusion.
John closed his eyes shut and breathed through a spike of pain which lanced through his chest as he breathed.
"Did I crash a puddle jumper?" he asked again as his boots were pulled off.
"Do you know where you are?" the Doctor asked him.
John sighed and pulled up the mask to speak, "Of course I do. I'm on Atlantis."
The Doctor was now getting worried, "I need you to do a cat scan immediately."
John tried to move his head but a neck brace and spinal board had him immobilised. His mind was trying to piece together the fragments of the day. As he tried to co-ordinate his disordered thoughts his eyes managed a moments focus on the ceiling tiles above him.
A realisation hit him.
He had spent enough time in the infirmary to know that he wasn't in the infirmary,
"I'm in the hospital," he said suddenly.
The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief, "Yes you are. You had a car accident."
With a sickening clarity he remembered the sensation as the car was hit from the side but knew soon after he had passed out.
"Okay people we need a cat scan, c spine, tox screen, pelvis and chest x ray." He listened as the Doctor reeled off a list of other tests and by then his focus was swimming.
------------------------
He must have passed out after that because the next time he woke up the people had gone and he was in a hospital room.
He had barely opened his eyes when he felt movement over his head and somebody's wrist brushed against the top of his hair as they disconnected one of the machines. He heard a flat line and momentarily lay completely still. I'm not dead am I? I'm sure id know if I was.
He opened his eyes slowly and attempted to blink away the vestiges of sleep.
A hand on his shoulder and he turned as his vision started to come into focus. He licked his lips before attempting to speak, "Beckett?"
Carson smiled and gave John's shoulder a squeeze, "Aye its me," he said.
John started to sit up and got up on one elbow before a crushing pain in his chest sent him sprawling back into bed with a gasp, "Ow," he managed to say and tentatively poked the area in question. Carson gave him a sympathetic look whilst John tried to acclimatise himself to his surroundings, "I'm in a hospital?"
Carson nodded, "You were bought in earlier today. What do you remember?"
John shifted in the bed to try and find a position where his ribs weren't trying to poke his lungs and pulled a face as he tried to piece together fragments of his memory, "I was driving," he said and then bought a hand up to the bridge of his nose whilst he thought, "I think I passed out."
"You had a car accident," he said as he adjusted one of the monitors and then switched it off.
John thought it was odd to see Carson in anything other that a white coat. The normal day wear took him by surprise.
"Right, I think I remember that," he said and closed his eyes as an image came to mind. "Not that I'm not happy to see you Doc, but why are you here?"
"I'd like to know the same thing?" He heard the voice from behind Carson and as he spun around, John managed to get back up on his one elbow and he found the name slipping out of his mouth before he could stop himself, "Simon."
Simon walked into the room and gave off a demeanour of Im all business before picking up Johns chart. "I want to know why you're tampering with the machines?"
"I'm Doctor Carson Beckett," said Carson holding out his hand.
Simon took it and gave him a curt nod, "Doctor Simon Wallace," he looked over to John, "I told you not to drive with a concussion."
John sat up fully now despite the pain, "Well, I guess you win then," he said and smiled widely. It was Carson's look at him which told him to knock it off.
"Are you the same Simon Wallace?" asked Carson not wishing to add anymore.
Simon nodded, "Yes, I am."
Carson smiled ruefully, "I would have been happy to have you as part of my medical team on…" he paused and nodded, not wanting to say the A word.
John rolled his eyes, "So are either of you going to tell me how im doing or should I guess?" asked John.
He instinctively started to peel back the covers. He looked down at the gown he was wearing with disgust and promptly pulled the covers back up.
"You have two broken ribs, a laceration on your hairline which required stitching and general scrapes and bruises. You were extremely lucky," said Simon.
John plucked at the covers and stared at the foot of his bed, "Yeah Im..uh sorry about your car."
"Your car?" asked Carson his eyes going between the two men.
"Yes," said Simon not wishing to elaborate.
They stood in silence and the three men all either cleared their throats and looked the other way just generally avoiding eye contact. That is until Carson finally decided to speak, "I've come here to discuss Lt. Colonel Sheppard's secondary care."
Simon looked over to John, "What are you talking about?"
John smiled and pushing the bed covers aside he hooked his legs over the edge of the bed, "Ah I get to go," he said starting to stand up.
"No you don't," said Carson, "Not yet and don't think you've gotten off a lecture from me," he said crossing his arms. "Driving with a concussion." He turned back to Simon, "Sheppard has a note on his file does he not instructing anyone who works on him in the ER to call my number?"
Simon nodded.
"Well due to the very sensitive nature of the work we do, Sheppard will be transferred to an alternative site to resume his treatment."
John crossed his arms over his chest, remembered his ribs and heaved in a heavy breath.
"You cant just come in here and take my patients," said Simon.
The two Doctors were squaring up to each other.
"Its okay Simon I really don't mind leaving." Said John raising a hand.
Carson took a step forward, "Doctor Wallace, you don't have any choice in the matter I'm afraid. Now if you'll excuse me I must organise some transport. John, I'll be back in a wee while."
John nodded weakly.
Simon stood dumbfounded for a moment and he slowly placed his chart back on the end of his bed without saying a word.
"Look Simon, I really am sorry about the car," said John in apology.
Simon waved a hand at him, "That's okay, I'm sure you'd be more than willing to pay for the repairs."
John swallowed and sidled back onto the bed. With what? For the last two years ive had nowhere to live. "Sure," I'll be back in Atlantis soon.
"You know you left before I could finish talking to you this morning."
John smiled and tried to restrain the scowl he knew was coming, "Talking or punching?"
Simon bowed his head, "I wanted to tell you, that whatever happens with me and Elizabeth is none of your business."
"Elizabeth is the expedition leader. Her welfare affects everybody, so I think you'll find that when it comes to matters like this, Im involved."
Simon walked over to John and took his stethoscope out, "I need you to lean forward so I can listen to your chest." He was trying to assert some kind of authority and knowing that it would soon be taken away from him John couldn't resist being awkward.
"You should ask Doctor Beckett if you can do that."
"In this hospital, right now, Im the Doctor and not Elizabeth's boyfriend, so if you could please-" he began to say.
"Ex boyfriend," said John. He couldn't help it. He was tired and irritable and the one lined sarcastic remarks wouldn't stop pouring out of his mouth.
Simon gritted his teeth and took a step back.
"Plus you're the one who made this personal. About five minutes ago when you said Elizabeth was none of my business." He moved too quickly and felt the tug of pain at his side, but attempted to hide it.
"I still have a responsibility to give you primary care and make all of the necessary checks before you are transported elsewhere."
John nodded, "Like I said, you'll have to ask my Doctor."
"You are deliberately being difficult," said Simon and he walked towards the door.
"I don't know what you're talking about," said John sitting back and getting comfortable.
Simon shook his head, "Just don't move."
When he had left the room John deliberately moved over in the bed and waved his hands around a bit. Im moving. What are you going to do about it Sim-ow! He reached down and grabbed at his side and breathed through the pain. Not smart.
Elizabeth walked into the room and he smiled, "Hey,"
"John," she said practically running over to the bed. She grabbed his arm and he could feel her thumb gently caressing his skin, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine," He nodded. Their eyes met. "I'm sorry about your car."
She blinked through tearful eyes, "Don't worry about it. Simon loved it more than me," she said and went to touch his face.
She had feared the worst upon hearing that he had been in an accident, but to see him alive and well was all she could have hoped for. Just as her fingers were centimetres from his skin she heard a voice behind her and her hand snapped down to her side in one fluid motion. When she turned there was nobody there, but her heart pounding in her chest was enough to tell her she had been too close.
She didn't know how she felt about the man in front of her.
"Rodney bought me," she said trying to change the subject.
"Yeah? Where is he?" he asked looking around her and towards the door.
"He got distracted by the canteen," she said, "He's been asking me questions all the way here."
"Why I was driving your car huh?"
She nodded and licked her lips, "I think he knows."
John reached out his hand and took hers in his own. "Don't worry about Rodney."
She pulled out of his grasp and walked away, wrapping her arms around herself, "Im worried John." She looked at him over her shoulder.
John pushed the covers aside and managed to get out of the bed. He was surprised when she didn't try to stop him and before glancing at the door he walked over to her unsteadily and touched her shoulders, "Its okay, nobody will find out."
She turned suddenly and looked him up and down. His hair was mussed up more than usual, his eyes looked tired, he was wearing one of those backless gowns and he still had socks on his feet. In a word he looked pretty ridiculous, but she couldn't reign in the part of her that so desperately wanted to be with him, despite situation and circumstance.
He was leaning to the side at an awkward angle and she went over to stop him from falling. He leant heavily on her and when they got back to the bed he turned to her. He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a hug. "Whatever you want to do is okay by me," he said into her hair.
She could feel his hot breath on her neck and the day old stubble of his cheek on hers. "What if I don't know what I want?" she said quietly.
John rested his head down onto her shoulder and breathed in her scent, "Then I'll wait."
They were interrupted by somebody clearing their throat and both of them leapt back as quickly would allow. Elizabeth turned first and saw Simon stood there, "I was just helping him back to bed," she said pushing a hand through her hair and feeling herself blush.
Simon's eyes conveyed that he didn't believe her, "I see, " he said walking over to John, "I need to do that examination now."
John nodded and got back into bed whilst looking over Simons shoulder to Elizabeth.
"If you could wait outside," said Simon to Elizabeth.
Her eyes connected with her former lovers and she realised how much they had both changed in the time that she had been a way. She nodded, swallowed the lump in her throat and left the room.
Once out in the corridor she sat down on one of the chairs and put her head in her hands.
She had never been so confused in all of her life.
TBC
Had real trouble writing this chapter. Next chapter I hope to get them back on Atlantis- with a few surprises-so apologises in an advance if I've made a mess of this chapter. Comes to something when its easier to write about Atlantis the place rather than Earth!
