A side note about chapter 1: A reader has pointed out that the Jabberwocky is actually called a Jabberwock in the poem. I was aware of this, but I think that Jabberwocky sounds better, so that's what it's called in my fic.

A second side note about chapter 1: I though that, before anybody pointed it out, I should explain why both Itachi and Madara were tested. Put simply, Itachi and Madara were generations apart, and the monitoring of prospective students who are related to past Rouen students is a relatively new thing.

A side note about chapter 3: I was originally going to make Tsunade the daughter of Dionysus, God of wine and drunkenness. But I figured that was kind of predictable, not to mention somehow cheap, so she's the daughter of Zeus.

One final note: I am British. Very British. I have an English accent. I am applying for Cambridge University in September. I walk on a path, my rubbish goes in the bin, I turn on the tap to fill my bath, my fries are chips and my chips are crisps. I think you all get the point. So I'm going to refrain from using Americanisms, and I'll be using good-old Brit speak, save for a few incidents, because Naruto would not use the word "arse". Fair warning.

Very little happens in this chapter. There is a little more interaction between Naruto and Sasuke, and some more characters are introduced, aswell as a very interesting, unexpected love triangle. Itachi will test Naruto some more, and we'll find out some interesting things about Sasuke. To be honest, I'm disappointed with the way this chapter turned out.

Chapter 3:

For their first night at Rouen, they had slept on the floor in sleeping bags in the corridor. This was tradition, Kisame told them. Naruto had worried that he would be stood on by somebody going past in the night, but still fell asleep almost immediately. The next day, they were awoken at sunrise. With much groaning and grumbling (until they saw Tsunade's positively ghoulish expression, that is), they had forced themselves to their feet and were directed to something Tsunade had called the inberg. This turned out to be a colossal hall, hundreds of feet high and just as long. There was one giant table stretching the length of the entire room. None of the older students were there, but the table was groaning under the weight of mountains of food. There was eggs- poached, boiled, scrambled and fried-, bacon, sausage, pancakes, crepes, cereal, toast, five different types of jam, bowls filled with beans, plum, diced and fresh tomatoes, brown and red sauce, jugs overflowing with cranberry, orange and tomato juice, pots of coffee, tea and milk...

Naruto salivated and quickly sat down. He was about to dig in when Kisame shoved his face into the table.

"What the hell was that for?" Naruto bellowed, waving his arms like a windmill as Kisame's hand kept his face pressed against the table.

"You have to remain standing until Tsunade sits down," Kisame told him lowly as he released him, "It's tradition,"

"Tradition sucks ass," Naruto grumbled, rubbing his protesting stomach. Tsunade soon entered from the back of the room and sat at the head of the table. The rest of the teachers appeared to take that as some sort of a signal, and materialised. Naruto was then able to get a true look at all of them.

Tsunade was quite pretty, with cunning amber eyes and blond hair. A wrinkled woman with her hair in a grey bun toddled in shortly after Tsunade, and Naruto wondered how she was teaching at such a school. But he knew she was more than she appeared.

She was followed by a feminine figure, with thick blond hair and sly blue eyes, who sauntered in as though he owned the place, his gold and grey alchemist's robes flapping behind him. The letter alpha was on his collar, along with the roman numeral "I". Naruto could only tell he was male because he was lacking certain feminine body parts. They watched, awe- and horror-struck, as he waved at them with a smirk, a tongue lolling out of the mouth on his hand. Strangely, the guy's gaze lingered on Kisame, who seemed to ignore him. Something ugly passed over the alchemist's face before he sat down on Tsunade's left.

The next to enter was a beautiful red-eyed woman, who wore no robes, preferring, it seemed, to don a simple white dress. Kiba's eyes were fixated on her as she crossed the room and sat near the old lady.

"Hey, dog guy," Naruto sniggered, barely dodging a punch, "Gonna howl and stomp your foot like in those cartoons?"

Kiba ignored him, and Naruto turned his attention back to the teachers. Next came a huge man, who wasn't much smaller than Kisame and had a thick beard. He sat down next to the red eyed woman, who kissed him on the cheek.

"Tough luck," Naruto said, clapping Kiba on the shoulder.

"She's a teacher anyway," Kiba sulked, "I wonder who that is?"

Naruto looked at the mousy-haired woman who carried a pig with wings as she entered the room and stood at Tsunade's side. Like the red-eyed woman, and the old lady, she wore no robes. Instead, she was wearing what looked like a black blazer, a knee-length, grey pleated skirt, and a crisp white blouse with a black tie. The blazer, skirt and tie all had the school's crest on them. She also wore knee socks, and sensible shoes.

"It's that Shizune lady. She must be a student," Naruto deduced, "She's probably in her last year,"

But Kiba wasn't listening.

"Oi Naruto," he called with a grin, "Your favourite teacher just walked in,"

Naruto narrowed his eyes at Itachi Uchiha as the man entered the room with the grace of a sleek feline. He was wearing almost the same as yesterday, but his hair was free from its ribbon and spilled down his back like ink. Naruto glared harder as a few girls sighed dreamily.

"That's my cue, ladies," Kisame said with his trademark grin, shoving Naruto good-naturedly on the way past. Naruto nearly lost a tooth on the edge of the table.

"I wish he'd stop doing that!" he told Kiba as Kisame stopped to talk with Itachi, "He'll kill me one day!"

"Hell of a height difference, doncha think?" Kiba said irrelevantly as he watched Kisame and Itachi converse. It was true; Itachi had to tilt his head back to look at Kisame's face.

"So he's short," Naruto muttered, "Big deal,"

"How can you call anyone short?" Sasuke interrupted, sipping a glass of tomato juice.

"I didn't ask you, bastard!" Naruto said, "How can you drink that shit? And why are you eating anyway? Kisame said we're not allowed to!"

"Tsunade's sitting down, isn't she?" Sasuke returned, leaving Naruto stumped, "Maybe if you try some, you'll be less of a midget,"

"We're the same height!" Naruto yelled.

"Stop yelling at my Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shrieked, punching him in the face.

"Your Sasuke-kun?" Ino interjected ferociously, steam almost coming out of her ears. There were mutters of agreement from the other girls, and soon Ino and Sakura were once again at each other's throats. Naruto ignored them and glowered at Sasuke, who smirked and raised his glass in a mocking tribute as Naruto began to pile up his plate with food.

Determined not to let Sasuke get to him again, Naruto cast his gaze around the room for something more interesting to look at and found it in Kisame and Itachi. Or, more specifically, in the way that the blond teacher with the freaky mouth on his hand looked ready to slaughter the pair of them. But they were just talking. In fact, they had yet to sit down or come even close to the blond guy. And Naruto had the feeling that the alchemist was directing his hatred towards Itachi only, as he'd seemed to like Kisame well enough earlier.

Now, Naruto was not a stupid boy. He was a little "obtuse", as Itachi had phrased it, but he was intelligent enough to get into Rouen. So, when Itachi put his elegant hand onto Kisame's colossal forearm for a moment, and the alchemist seethed, his teeth gritted in rage, Naruto saw exactly what was going on.

"That blond guy wants to get into Kisame's pants," he informed his friends bluntly. Immediately, Sakura choked on her low-fat cereal, Kiba fell on the floor and rolled around in hysterical laughter, and Shikamaru rolled his eyes, muttering his signature "Troublesome".

"He's right!" Sakura hissed, her voice a little hoarse and specs of cereal littering her tank top.

"He's got no chance," Sasuke interjected with a smirk, "Not against Itachi,"

Everybody turned to him, wide eyes inviting him to explain more.

"Itachi doesn't go after what he knows he can't get," Sasuke explained shortly, "Plus, he's never gone after anyone before, so he won't let Kisame get away so easily,"

"Wait...Professor Uchiha likes Kisame too?" Sakura exclaimed, thankfully remembering to keep her voice down. Sasuke sent her a look that said "Duh".

"The guy's not even good-looking," Kiba felt the need to point out, "Why would Professor Uchiha, and that freaky blond dude- who's hot for a guy, mouth-hands aside- want to date a fish guy?"

"It's not all about looks, you know," Ino said with a dirty look.

"Then why are you so obsessed with Sasuke?" Kiba asked. Ino blushed and shot Sasuke a hopeful look, and was ignored in favour of a thick book that Sasuke had pulled from nowhere.

Maybe that's what's up his ass, Naruto thought to himself as Ino beat Kiba about the head with an empty milk jug.

"Itachi must have weird tastes," Sasuke said dryly, "Now stop talking,"

Naruto stuck his tongue out, and promptly bit it painfully when Sakura whacked him with her empty bowl.

After breakfast, which was the first thing Naruto could say he enjoyed about Rouen, Tsunade stood and explained the rules, which consisted of basic things, like "No relationships between students and teachers will be tolerated" (which led to the girls looking disturbingly down-hearted), and some more peculiar rules, such as "Nobody is to visit the south side of the lake" (for reasons that Tsunade didn't bother to explain).

And then they were ushered into the next room, which thankfully had no traps or bottomless pits, while the teachers discussed something important that the students were not supposed to hear, despite the fact that it was probably a discussion about the students. Kiba had attempted to listen in with his keen ears, but was apparently unable to hear anything more than a faint buzzing.

"Dammit," Kiba muttered, "I can't hear a fucking thing!"

"Moron," Sasuke snorted, leaning against a wall. The girls all swooned.

"There's obviously a charm on the door," Sasuke continued, "Probably Kakashi's doing,"

He walked over to them and pressed his palm against the door. He frowned in concentration and muttered something under his breath. Immediately, a membrane which hadn't been visible to the naked eye appeared, glowing like red flames. Sasuke seized the corner and tore it off like it was the film lid from a microwave dinner.

"Now try it," he said, ignoring the boys' slack jaws and the girls' swooning, vacant looks.

"Wow, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura demurred, blushing prettily, "That was amazing,"

"Hn," Sasuke responded. Sakura looked crestfallen, and Ino looked triumphant.

"I can hear, I can hear!" Kiba hissed excitedly, "Wait, they've decided who our mentors are,"

"Oh great," Sakura said, "What's the betting I get stuck with that creepy Kakashi, or Kisame?"

"I like Kisame," Naruto said, "He's cool. He pisses me off sometimes, but I want to get as muscle-y as him, and he'd be able to teach me how, right?"

"Muscles wouldn't help against a sorcerer or warlock, idiot," Sasuke butted in. Naruto whirled on in him with an infuriated growl.

"Shut up!" he said, "You're just jealous that you'll always be a prissy, skinny pretty boy!"

"And you'll always be an annoying little loser," Sasuke countered.

"Itachi said they're not necessarily bad points," Naruto responded, his voice beginning to rise.

"That's Professor Uchiha," Sasuke snapped, "Have some respect for your betters!"

"Why should I respect the guy who put me through that trial?" Naruto squawked indignantly.

"You passed, didn't you?" Sasuke said, "So quit whining,"

"Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that he fucked with my mind like that!"

"Maybe now you'll understand the power an expert has over you. You wouldn't have been able to overcome that if you had a few superficial muscles!"

"You little-!"

"Says the guy who's shorter than me?"

"We're the same height, you bastard!"

"Shut up, guys!" Kiba growled in time to stop Sasuke from responding, "They announced our mentors while you two were fighting like a pair of kids!"

"Who are you calling a kid?" Naruto growled.

"Geez, Naruto, are you going to pick a fight with everyone today?" Shikamaru asked boredly. Naruto stopped and sighed, deflating.

"Well, spill then," he said with a grin back in place, "Who got who?"

"Sorry Naruto, but Kisame's my mentor," Kiba smirked.

"What? No fair!" Naruto whined.

"Sorry," Kiba repeated, "Sakura's got Tsunade-,"

"I've got who?" Sakura gasped, looking awed and excited, "Tsunade of the Sannin is one of the best-,"

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto said, waving a hand. Sakura responded by punching him in the face.

"Go on," Shikamaru said, leaning against the wall as Naruto tenderly rubbed his sore head.

"You got some guy named Asuma," Kiba said, "He's some tactician guy. They heard about your brains and decided it was a logical choice,"

Shikamaru nodded, but seemed dismayed that he would have to actually work.

"Some guy named Chouji got that Shizune chick that seems to always have alcohol on hand," Kiba said, "Now I'm jealous! And Ino has some dude named Deidara, who sounds fem, because Kisame said something about them looking the same,"

"If he has hair like me, he's bound to be great," Ino stated smugly.

"Let's hope he's not as vain as you too," Shikamaru muttered. Luckily for him, she didn't hear it.

"Some dude named Neji-,"

"That's me," the pale eyed boy said. He had been leaning in a shadowy alcove, and stepped into the light.

"Yeah, you got Ibiki. They seem to think you've got the capacity for sadism and interrogation, like Ibiki. I don't know where they got that idea," Kiba finished sarcastically, "Oh, and you love little animals,"

The boy's face turned crimson at this.

"How about it?" Shikamaru butted in, "Wanna pet my antlers?"

"No, I would prefer to shove them up your-!"

"Anyway," Kiba said loudly, attempting to avert a crisis, "That cute Hinata girl-,"

An angry growl from Neji, whose eyes radiated killer intent.

"Erm...a lovely pure young lady who I would never sully with my unworthiness whose name is Hinata-,"

"That's better,"

"-has Kurenai. I think she's the hot one with the red eyes," Kiba finished meekly.

"Who else?" Naruto said.

"Let's see," Kiba said slowly, "Gaara has some old biddy named Chiyo who seems kind of scary. Who's Gaara?"

"Me," said a boy with crimson hair and a gravely voice. Kiba cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Fitting then," he said, "Sasuke, you have Kakashi-perv-,"

"What!" Sasuke burst out savagely, seizing Kiba by the shoulders, "No, that can't be right! I was supposed to have Itachi!"

"Looks like Itachi didn't get the memo," Kiba choked out Sasuke shook him.

"He got the fucking memo!" Sasuke growled. Naruto was disturbed by the lustful looks on the girls' faces. Was violence sexy now?

"I told him myself," Sasuke snarled.

"Well, maybe he didn't want to mentor your stuck-up ass!" Naruto said gleefully, sticking his tongue out.

"It doesn't matter whether he wanted to or not!" Sasuke declared, rounding on Naruto like a crazed dog let off its lead, "Dad's going to kill him!"

There was a ringing silence as everybody digested the implications of that sentence.

"Is he-?"

"He's my older brother," Sasuke stated stiffly. He looked angry. Apparently, he hadn't meant to reveal that to everyone, "Don't tell me none of you idiots realised as soon as you saw us,"

"I thought you were Itachi," Naruto admitted with reddened cheeks, "You have the same eyes. And then I thought you were his twin or something,"

"Dad's going to kill him," Sasuke repeated in a more controlled voice.

"Er...why?" Naruto asked, taking a step back to remain out of grabbing distance.

"It's none of your business," Sasuke said harshly, leaning against the wall again and watching the door like a hawk. He was obviously waiting for Itachi to come out of that room so that he could demand an explanation.

"Geez, what crawled up your ass?" Naruto muttered, "So, who's my mentor, Kiba?"

Kiba smirked. Naruto's eyes nearly fell out of his head. Sasuke's face became thunderous.

"No!" Naruto said, falling to his knees and grabbing the adlet around the knees, "Tell me you're joking Kiba!"

"Nope," Kiba sniggered, "Your mentor is-,"

The door flew open violently, hitting the stone wall with an almighty crack that shook the room. Naruto leapt up with a squeak. Tsunade stood in the doorframe, her tall silhouette so frightening that Naruto, in a fit of cowardice, hid behind Sasuke, who shoved him away with a look of disgust.

"Time to announce the mentors!" Tsunade sang, her cheeks ruddy. She had plainly consumed a large amount of alcohol already.

"There is no need, Tsunade-sama," Itachi said stepping out of the room gracefully, "They know,"

"Eh?" Tsunade said, with a disappointed pout, "But I didn't even get to see them get pissed off!"

"I put a privacy charm on that door, Itachi," Kakashi said curiously, running a hand over it.

"Sasuke removed it," Itachi said, leading the students to believe that he was psychic.

"How do you know it was me?" Sasuke said, refusing to look at his brother.

"I taught you how to remove that particular charm only a few months ago. I highly doubt that these other students are capable of such an act,"

"And why's that?" Naruto barked, slighted. He, too, didn't want to look at Itachi, but not because he was annoyed at him. He was annoyed, but he was more afraid than anything. Itachi's eyes seemed to be dangerously hypnotic when he wanted them to be. And the very fact that Naruto was afraid made him more afraid.

"Do you think it is so easy to remove a charm that Kakashi Hatake put in place?" Itachi asked rhetorically. Naruto glanced up as high as Itachi's mouth and caught sight of a small smirk that told Naruto that Itachi found their fear entertaining.

"Well, no...," Naruto said uncomfortably.

"You would need excellent training from a master who knew Kakashi well enough to know how to break his charms, wouldn't you?"

"Er...yeah," Naruto said, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head as he realised his mistake. Itachi hadn't been suggesting that his brother was superior to the other students. He was just being realistic.

"I'm glad that you understand, Naruto-kun," Itachi said in a more gentle tone. Beside Naruto, Sasuke silently fumed. The remaining teachers left, save Kisame. Kakashi somehow managed to walk down the corridor whilst reading that book, without walking into a wall.

"We'll talk later, otouto," Itachi said to Sasuke, with a small, affectionate smile. Sasuke failed to respond. Itachi swept away, pausing only to ruffle Sasuke's hair with an even wider smile. Sasuke grumbled quietly.

"Oh, and Naruto-kun?"

"Y-Yes?" Naruto peeped nervously.

"Be here at 6pm tonight," Itachi said smoothly. Naruto gaped at his back as he seemed to glide into a wall.

"W-What?" he bellowed as soon as he had recovered the ability to speak, "I've had about 4 hours of sleep, and I want to go to bed! Is he crazy?"

"Probably," Kisame said, "But that's one of his charms,"

Shikamaru shook his head with a sigh, while Naruto gaped like a dead fish at Kisame.

"Come on brats," Kisame said, hoisting his sword onto his shoulder as he walked off without waiting for them. Naruto noticed that he seemed to do that a lot.

"Where are we going?" Naruto called to his back.

"To your dorms," Kisame said shortly, "Now hurry up before I leave you all behind,"

"Alright, alright!" Naruto grumbled, "Sheesh!"

The majority of the group jogged to catch up as Kisame waited impatiently near seven enormous tapestries depicting a unicorn hunt. Sasuke, however, stood where he was.

"Are you coming, bastard?" Naruto called. Sasuke ignored him, pressing his palms together and murmuring something. For a moment, Naruto wondered whether there had been a spontaneous heat wave, because Sasuke seemed to be shimmering like air above hot tarmac on a Summer's day. Then, Sasuke was at Kisame's side, and Naruto realised that Sasuke had performed magic once again.

"Did Itachi teach you that little trick?" Kisame asked, sharp teeth bared in a grin. Everybody else made noises of amazement and gaped like idiots. Naruto scowled in Sasuke's direction. What an attention-seeking bastard.

"Of course," Sasuke said shortly, "Are we going to our dorms, or are we just going to stand here all day?"

"I suppose we could stay here," Kisame shrugged his massive shoulders, "I haven't got any place to be,"

At Sasuke's glare, he relented with a grin.

"Have it your way, Mini-'Tachi," he said. He had taken all of three steps when a horrified voice spoke from behind him.

"What did you just call me?" Sasuke asked in a low dangerous tone, "No, actually, just shut your stupid mouth,"

"But it fits you so well, kid," Kisame objected with a grin, "You look like him, you...well, you don't act like him, but you both know how to give the evil eye,"

"Itachi doesn't glare," Sasuke sneered, "He's the nice brother,"

"To you," Kisame pointed out, "You're his little brother. He thinks the sun shines out of your smug little ass. He can be a real sadist to the rest of us,"

Sasuke didn't dignify that with a response. Naruto, however...

"I knew he was evil all along!" he declared. Everybody ignored him.

The rooms they were to stay in turned out to be surprisingly modernised and comfortable-looking. The walls were circular, leaving Naruto to believe that they were in a tower of some sort. Through the single window, he could see the distant glitter of the lake, and the black forest. It was barely light, and Naruto could tell that it was incredible early. He was suddenly exhausted. He then wondered when and how they had walked into a tower, but decided that it was too much for his brain to handle.

The beds were, bizarrely, curved to fit the walls, as was the other furniture, although the sides not facing the walls were straight. Naruto nearly went cross-eyed looking at the room. The window was between the two beds, and there was shaft of light slicing through the shadows of the dark room to leave a perfect arch shape on the floor. There were a pair of computer desks- with two laptops sitting on top of them- pushed together near the foot of the bed on the left. On the other side of the room, there was a walk-in closet that Naruto assumed he would have to share with his room mate.

"So who's my room mate?" Naruto asked, stifling a yawn. He really wanted to sink into one of those plump mattresses and pull the thick downy covers over himself, allowing sleep to take him.

"Mini-'Tachi, you're rooming with Demon kid," Kisame said, gently pushing Naruto into the room- only his gentle was sufficient force to send Naruto sprawling on the thickly-carpeted floor.

Bastard, Naruto thought darkly as he tried to erase the taste of carpet from his tongue.

Sasuke didn't offer to help him up. Naruto glowered at his back as he opened the closet door and picked out some clothes. He then went into the bathroom, and Naruto heard the sound of running water. He decided to take a shower later. He'd have plenty of time; he had no intention of meeting Itachi at 6pm. Was the guy trying to kill him or something?

He stripped quickly and immodestly, before throwing his dirty clothes on the floor and putting on a pair of pyjamas. In no time, he was snuggling into his nice warm bed and letting out a sigh of pleasure.

The pleasure didn't last long. The room was flooded with light, and something landed on his head. Shrieking, he wrestled with it for a moment, until he realised that it was his dirty clothes.

"Clothes go in the hamper, idiot," Sasuke said. Naruto could smell his body wash from the other side of the room.

"Shut up, bastard," he grumbled, hugging his pillow over his head, "I'll do it tomorrow,"

"No, you'll do it now," Sasuke shot back, "Or the light stays on,"

"What the hell, bastard?" Naruto squawked, "It's early!"

"And you have to see Itachi at 6pm," Sasuke said smugly, "So I suggest you get moving,"

"'M not going," Naruto said.

"He'll come to get you. You can't hide from him,"

"What, is he psychic now?"

"He's the greatest sorcerer alive, you moron. I doubt I could hide from him,"

"Yeah, cause you're cool and amazing, and, if you can't escape, nobody can, right?" Naruto felt the need to point out sarcastically.

"I didn't say I was better than everyone," Sasuke said, seeing the actual meaning behind Naruto's words, "Just you,"

Naruto tore his quilt from his body and leapt to his feet.

"Fuck you!" he shouted, "I'll be a kage at the end of the year! Just wait!"

"I'll wait till I'm old," Sasuke smirked, "And you'll still just be an annoying little loser,"

"What the hell?" Naruto spat, "You don't even know me!"

"And I don't want to know you, either,"

"You're just pissed Itachi's mentoring me, instead of you," Naruto said triumphantly. Instantly, Naruto knew he'd hit a sore spot. Sasuke's eyes flashed red in the same way that Itachi's did and he turned on Naruto with hatred in his gaze.

"I don't know why he's lowered himself to mentoring somebody like you," Sasuke said, as though Naruto was something nasty a parent would tell their child not to play with, "He probably thinks you're so pathetic that you'll need extra help,"

Sasuke was smirking now, and it was Naruto's turn to get annoyed.

"Or maybe he thinks I actually have potential!" Naruto bellowed back, "Have you thought about that, bastard?"

"Hn," Sasuke responded with a smirk, "I'm going to bed,"

With that, he climbed into his bed and pulled the covers over the draconite lanterns and shut the curtains with magic. Naruto glared at his back in the dim light. Sasuke had definitely done that to show off, in an effort to prove his superiority. Naruto dumped the clothes in the basket.

"Yeah, well," he muttered futilely as the gentle sound of Sasuke's even breathing filled the room, "Your pyjamas suck,"

"So does your face," Sasuke drowsily returned. He managed to sound smug and arrogant even when half asleep. Naruto contented himself with sticking his tongue out at Sasuke's back, and flipping him the bird.

Despite his anger at Sasuke, he was so tired that he slipped into a dreamless sleep immediately, and was awoken by hushed voices. Cracking one eye open slightly allowed him to make out the blurry outlines of two dark-haired figures sitting on Sasuke's bed.

"You said you'd explain later," Sasuke's voice said, sounding pissed, "It's later now, so talk,"

So one of the figures was Sasuke? Then the other must be...

"Sasuke, I haven't the time at the moment," Itachi responded softly, "I came to get Naruto-kun,"

"So some stupid blond kid is more important to you than your own brother now?" Sasuke snarled. He sounded almost...hurt? Naruto suddenly felt a little guilty, although he didn't think he should. Afterall, he hadn't chosen to be mentored by Itachi, and Sasuke was a horrible bastard anyway.

"Sasuke-," Itachi began after a lengthly silence.

"No, it's fine," Sasuke said, "Whatever. Just...just get Naruto and go, alright?"

Naruto heard the rustling sound of Sasuke's duvet that told him Sasuke was getting under the duvet and was facing the wall.

"Otouto," Itachi murmured tenderly. Sasuke ignored him.

"You know as well I as I that a sorcerer is the last thing you want to be," Itachi continued, "That is why I convinced Kakashi-san to be your mentor. I know of your love of potions and witchcraft, and I know that father looks down upon witchcraft as inferior to sorcery,"

He paused momentarily. Naruto could sense that Sasuke was listening intently.

"Father is an idiot," Itachi stated scornfully, "Did he tell you that he is a warlock himself, because he was never able to master the control required to become a sorcerer? He is too proud. You have the potential to become either. You have a choice,"

"I have no choice," Sasuke said darkly at length. Naruto held his breath.

"You do," Itachi said, "You could be weak like me, and submit to father's every whim. Or you could be the strong one, the one who does what he wants, rather than what father wants. I saw the error of my ways too late. My desperation for father's affections led to this. I am the greatest sorcerer alive, they say. I can summon Hades, if the propaganda is to be believed. Yet I do not enjoy my work. I wish I had chosen differently,"

"Father would never forgive me," Sasuke stated bitterly.

"He would," Itachi said sharply, "And if he did not, I would not forgive him, and nor would mother. You are, afterall, her favourite,"

"And you're father's," Sasuke said sourly.

"Father favours the idea of me," Itachi explained, "He doesn't care for me,"

"And he'll kill you when he finds out," Sasuke pointed out.

"I doubt he could accomplish such a feat," Itachi declared with no small amount of superiority colouring his tone. It was only then that Naruto could truly see the real similarities between the brothers. However, there was something false about Itachi's unspoken claim of eminence, as though he was saying those words to give Sasuke confidence, rather than out of any real feeling of supremacy.

"Probably not," Sasuke admitted reluctantly, "But he could still make life difficult,"

"I have not cared for his opinions since I was 13 years old," Itachi said, unconcerned, "By which time, I was already an accomplished sorcerer, and it was much too late for me to change my vocation,"

"13? Was that because-?"

"Yes, but I would rather not speak of it," Itachi interrupted in a warning tone, "You now know my reasoning, Sasuke. Will you allow Kakashi-san to be your mentor?"

"I suppose," Sasuke said reluctantly, after a pause.

"Then I must advise you to bring a book to every mentoring session," Itachi instructed, "Kakashi-san is an excellent warlock, but a poor time-keeper. He will be late to every session,"

"Every session?" Sasuke muttered, "Great, I get stuck with a tardy idiot, while that moron over there, who, by the way, drools and snores, will be mentored by you,"

"I do not!" Naruto bellowed, forgetting that he wasn't supposed to be listening. At Sasuke's creepy expression, he gulped.

"I did wonder when you were going to stop pretending, Naruto-kun," Itachi said, rising from Sasuke's bed, "It is 5:53am. You have 7 minutes to ready yourself for mentoring. I will wait outside,"

With a single glance in Naruto's direction, and an amused smile tugging his lips as Naruto again tried to avoid looking into his eyes, Itachi left through the door- without opening it.

"Show-off," Sasuke muttered resentfully, turning over and pulling his covers up his body, "Have fun, idiot,"

"I will!" Naruto declared.

"I was being sarcastic," Sasuke said, "He'll probably drive you like a slave and mess with your mind some more,"

Sasuke sounded almost too happy at the prospect of Naruto's suffering at Itachi's hands.

With the air of somebody about to confront their greatest fear, Naruto went into his wardrobe and pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. There were several school uniforms hanging on his side of the wardrobe that hadn't been there before, and they were pressed and smelled new. Naruto fingered the black blazer with disgust and went into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"You're late already," Itachi said from within the mirror. Half-swallowing his toothbrush due to shock, Naruto hacked and choked until he'd sprayed the mirror with toothpaste. By the time he had recovered, Itachi was gone, and Naruto was looking at a very dirty mirror. Sasuke would call him an idiot for certain, and would probably order him to clean it, prissy bastard that he was.

Naruto came out of the bathroom, cursing colourfully and red-faced, to face Sasuke's smirk. He ignored the dark haired bastard and yanked open the door. Itachi stood on the other side, looking unimpressed.

"Come along, Naruto-kun," Itachi said, "I have a prior engagement that I will need to attend to sometime today,"

"Meeting up with your boyfriend?" Naruto said resentfully, and promptly winced. Oh, he was dead, wasn't he?

"How did you guess?" Itachi asked. Naruto was sure he swallowed a fly as his jaw hung loosely.

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"No," Itachi said, a tad too brightly.

"...Right,"

Itachi didn't bother warning him prior to sweeping off down the corridor.

"Hey!" Naruto said, "Wait for me!"

Itachi, surprisingly, paused long enough for Naruto to catch up. He led him down some spiral stairs that tilted crazily towards the centre of the helix (giving the unsettling feeling that Naruto was about to fall, despite the rail), and into a doorless room that was entirely bare. There wasn't even a blackboard or a chair. Naruto watched, bemused, as Itachi sat down, crossed his legs, and said nothing.

"Er...," Naruto began, but a look from Itachi shut him up. Taking the hint, he slid down opposite Itachi and copied his position. He had thought Itachi would begin their lesson then, but he was mistaken. Itachi didn't so much as look at him.

"What are we doing here?" Naruto asked quietly. Once again, Itachi didn't so much as acknowledge that he'd spoken.

"Helloooooo?" Naruto called loudly, his voice echoing throughout the stone box Itachi had trapped him in. There was no response- not that he'd expected one.

"Seriously, are you deaf or something?" he grumbled loudly. At Itachi's continued silence, Naruto stood up and kicked a wall harshly. He would have kicked Itachi, but he was afraid of losing fingers for real this time, so he contented himself with abusing the wall. They only result was a sore toe and more silence from Itachi. So Naruto slumped down on the floor and fumed silently.

Eventually, his mind began to wander, and his anger gave way to grudging acceptance. Itachi was not going to pay any attention to him for this lesson, and nothing Naruto did was going to change that. He thought about dinner that night, about his friends and the classes he would be starting soon, and about the bizarre love triangle he'd witnessed that morning. He purposely steered clear of thoughts about Sasuke, because he knew that he would only be tempted to kick the wall some more, imagining it to be Sasuke's face, and he didn't really need to make his toe throb anymore than it already was.

Eventually, after an hour of absolute silence, Itachi rose to his feet.

"Excellent, Naruto-kun," he said.

"We didn't do anything! I didn't do anything!" Naruto complained, also rising to his feet. He winced at the stiffness of his muscles and the numb feeling in his ass.

"Certainly," Itachi conceded with a gleam in his eye. Naruto realised he was looking into Itachi's eyes again, and quickly looked down. There was no telling whether Itachi was a mind-reader. Naruto wouldn't have put it past him.

"Certainly," Itachi repeated, "And therein lies your accomplishment,"

Naruto thought about that confusing sentence until his eyes crossed and his face screwed up, but he still couldn't figure out the point Itachi was trying to make by forcing Naruto to accompany him in absolute silence in an empty, cold room for an hour.

"Dinner will begin in half an hour," Itachi informed him, "You may want to return to your room until then,"

"Can't I explore the school?" Naruto asked.

"Not unless you want to get lost," Itachi said with a brief quirk of his lips.

"I'll go back to my room then," Naruto sighed, "Finding my classes on Monday is going to be hell. Sasuke-bastard probably already has the layout memorised,"

Naruto grimaced, his bottom lip jutting out childishly.

"You'll be getting a map," Itachi informed him, watching Naruto with his strange eyes, which seemed to flicker between red and black.

Naruto left the room filled with confusion and anger. He couldn't believe that Itachi had made him sit there like an idiot for half an hour, doing nothing. Was it another test? It had to be. Itachi was the most intelligent person that Naruto had met so far, so it was doubtful that he had done such a thing for no reason. Plus, he seemed like the kind of guy who didn't waste time and energy with pointless frivolities.

So, a test then. But what was he testing? Naruto yanked at his thick blond hair in frustration.

"What are you so pissed off about?" Sasuke asked idly, as Naruto stalked in and threw himself down on the bed with unconcealed ire.

"Itachi!" Naruto growled, sitting up.

"Professor Uchiha," Sasuke corrected him. Naruto had the urge to beat Sasuke with a blunt object.

"Whatever," Naruto growled, "He's fucking with my head again! I just know it! He stuck me in a room and wouldn't even look at me for an hour! I mean, what the fuck? I hate his stupid tests!"

Naruto finished with a scream of rage. Sasuke blinked at him. Then, a smirk crossed his face.

"You haven't figured it out yet?" he asked, with that annoyingly superior look.

"If I had, do you think I'd be so pissed off at the asshole?" Naruto retorted, "Come on, what's his game?"

Sasuke deliberately closed the book he was reading and put it down on his bed.

"I'm sorry, but I can't help you," he said, sounding far from apologetic, "You'll have to figure it out for yourself,"

He left the room and closed the door. A second later, he heard the solid thump of his book colliding with the door. He hadn't had this much fun in years.


Appendices

1) The Inberg: This is the Old English word for "hall". Old English will be cropping up frequently in later chapters, as I have decided that it will be the language of sorcerers. Old English is one of those languages that seems very secretive, and I think it sounds very powerful and magical when spoken.

2) Deidara's robes: Yes, this is obviously Deidara, so I can use his name. It's not a spoiler. His robes are grey and gold because of his subject. He's an alchemist, a person who tries to turn worthless metals, such as lead, into gold. Lead is grey, while gold is...well, gold. So his robes symbolise the transition between the worthless lead and the precious gold. In this fic, alchemy is a very real science. I thought Deidara would love to play with strange chemicals, which often have violent, explosive reactions.

3) Alpha and I: The Greek word for Alchemist is αλχημιστής (alchimisis). The first letter of this word is alpha. As for the I...you all know the drill by now.

4) "...Kisame waited impatiently near seven enormous tapestries depicting a unicorn hunt": These tapestries are very real. The Hunt of the Unicorn, often referred to as the Unicorn Tapestries, is a series of seven tapestries dating from 1495–1505. Very little is known about their origins, but they are believed to have been commissioned by Anne of Brittany to celebrate her marriage to Charles VIII of France. The tapestries, as the name suggests, depict noblemen on a unicorn hunt.

As I have said, very little happened in this chapter, so you can consider it a filler chapter. I hope you all like it a little.