Hey, how are you? Thank you all for the comments, it's good to know that you are liking this so far. I hope you like this one too! Cheers!
All belong to Jojo Moyes. (that's pretty obvius)
Hey babe, are you home? I'm on my way there. P
I lay in my bed at 9 p.m. It was Sunday, tomorrow I have to work and Patrick was going to drop by now, if I couldn't conceal sleep, after talking with him I'm condemned to a restless night. After the news I heard from Nathan yesterday, I'm pretty sure he is going to try and sell me the trip of the "Lycra Bollocks Convention". The day spent with Will was great, it was some time that I fell in company of a friend. Treena wasn't the same after my twenties, I think I can understand her, I'm not the same neither. It changed my life immensely, make me a little more paranoid, I started being a loner, hiding myself from the world behind my new choice of clothes. It may seem ridiculous, but the more colourful my clothes are, the more cheerful the people think I am. But in reality, I am not. I didn't enjoy how I should have this past 5 years. The friends I had from before, I realised, were friends only for drinking alcohol and make dumb comments about other people. I never really fit in, but if I want friends, there really wasn't much more choices. Then there is Patrick, he is my boyfriend of seven years, but now, every time I talk to him, it seems that his brain also exercised so much that it is so inflated that has no ability to think, because of its compression within his skull. His only focus his attention to training, and when we are together, I watch him train, or with his training friends, or before his training when he has not much time, or in the night when he trains again, but using my body as an efficient penis training machine. I had stopped enjoning the sex, at first he took his time with me, making me feel wanted, loved, worshipped. But eventually all that was replaced with a self enjoyment where I start to take the second place in the act, no, not the second, the third. It was Little Pat first, followed by his ego and then me, the person who was there just to enjoy his company. I don't have doubts about of his love for me, after all, seven years is a long time. But I'm certain that he loves himself a lot more.
I heard a knock on the front door, and make my way downstairs. Opening the door, I see Patrick with an outfit a little more constrained than a latex glove.
'Hey babe! I just finish with training, like, five minutes ago, when I send you the text. I can't believe I did it this fast!' Okay, here we go again, running man, like Will like to call him, started talking. Is this why he was so anxious to see me?
'Hey..'
'What's up babe? Are you going to let me in? I could do with a glass of watter'
'Sure, come in. Did you eat something?'
'Yes, a banana. Thats all for tonight. Lou, where have you been? We don't see each other since the other week!'
'Working. I've been working Patrick.'
'Yeah..I know that. How is your boss doing? I could see that he remembered how did I react the other day. So I could give him the chance of beig polite.
'He's doing fine. We are getting along much better now.' He made a face at this news, like he didn't really like the idea. He reached for me and gave me a kiss. It wasn't long, but a reassurance of "this girl is mine" kind of kiss.
'That is actually great news! Maybe now he can give you longer vacations. I found the perfect place for us to go! Amazing place, really, wait to see pictures! You won't believe it!' So this was it, The trick. I was prepared, putting on my big but sad smile I look towards him.
'Pat, I'm so sorry, but it's not going to happen this year. I'm new to this job, and it would only be for six months! I can't take vacations for one of those six! I wish i could go, but if you want, you can go alone for this one. Maybe the next one?'
I could see the disappointment in his face, but not for long. He changed it for anger really quick. 'What? Now you are going to change our vacations, the ones we planned, for work? I can't believe you Lou!'
' Well its not my choice anyway.'
' So apparently this don't even matter to you?'
' Look, I have to look after my family, now I'm the only one gaining enough to have dinner at the table. Stop pretending that life is based on running and nothing more!'
'I don't pretend that! For me is running is very important, you should know that! That's why I want you to come with me to this triathlon!' Yes! now I don't have to reveal that I already knew this. He makes a mistake, and he notices.
'Right, now is a triathlon, what happen to the romantic vacation? I guess it's going to be, for you and your friends. Why didn't you mention them before?' He started to open and close his mouth like a goldfish. Looking anywhere but my eyes.
'I... I... They.. They are not going to come with us! I'm sure they have another hotel nearby, but not the same! They shouldn't be a problem. Besides the Thriatlon won't last all vacations. We are going to have plenty of time to do other things.'
' Patrick, nobody can go one month on vacations! I know I can't spend all that money. And when we arrive there, you are going to train your arse off to win or make it to the end. The only thing I'm going to do is spend money because of boredom waiting for you.'
' I could pay! You can give it back whenever you can! Come on Lou, its been to long!'
' If you wanted to be with me, you should have think about not going with another twenty people at the same place, least of all people you should know I can barely stand! The only thing they talk about is calories, tights and firm bottoms!'
' They are just like me, I like them! Why can't you share something that I like with me? It's so hard!?'
'Maybe it is! Maybe it is hard to share something with you that it's not an option, but something that you shove down my ears every time I am with you, you don't have another topic. Even when I want to talk about some other thing, we only get back where we started! Maybe because after seven years I realized you don't treat me like you once did. And I really want the old Patrick, but I can't have it. You are self centred and I don't want to be the supporting part of the relationship all the time. Maybe because I want to be the one to be supported for once.'
There was absolute silence. I couldn't believe my outburst. I never did that before. I think I'm really changing. I don't know if I should feel bad for Patrick, or good for myself. I finally told him what I've been thinking for a couple of years. And now I feel so... free. Patrick looks at me with questioning eyes and then the realization of what I was actually telling him show in his face.
We were both standing in the kitchen, so the only thing he had to do was walk around and leave. He only told me one more thing before closing the door. ' But... it's been so long Lou...' I take it for what it was. An attempt of confirming what he couldn't believe. My only answer was a nod.
I'm not sure how my body is able to operate right now. With no sleep, no food, a long walk, and a disrupted mind. Making my way to the annex I slow down my pace until the watch on my wrist decide to tell me it's 8 o'clock. Usually I am the one to wake up Will, well...when he is actually sleeping and not just laying there waiting for me. But today my brain and body apparently decided to wait for Nathan to do this chore.
I was sitting there, looking at nothing in particular and didn't even hear the door closing. It startled me when a hand was suddenly in my shoulder and I let a little squeal.
'It's me! Lou calm down. My goodness, what was that?'
'Oh Nathan, sorry, didn't see you.' I think my normal answer makes him realise that I wasn't in a good shape.
'Lou... you look haggard. What happened? Are you sick? We can arrange for you to go home.'
' No, no. Don't want to go home. Bad night, terrible if I think about it.' He looked at me for a while taking me in. Then he went to put the kettle on and order for me to stay put and wait for him. He selected some medications and head off to Will's bedroom.
Assuming that the order to stay put prevented for me to prepare the tea, I just stay in my seat listening to the whistling kettle. He came running to the kitchen, and started making breakfast.
'What about Will? He needs to eat.'
'Yes, he told me to prepare the food and tea and then go get him.'
I fixed my gaze on Will's door, and waited for Nathan to finish. I wish he could hurry, I need something to help my brain accommodate in the present. Barely noticing that I was left alone again, it came as a surprise seeing Will coming out ready for the day with Nathan by his side. He stopped in front of me and raises an eyebrow, and seeing my lack of reaction he frowned.
'Louisa? Are you alright? It's not like you to be so quiet.' Focusing my eyes in his, we stared at each other off a few minutes, this kind of trance only broken thanks to the food being placed on the table. We all started eating, in reality Will and Nathan were those who ate. Me feeding Will without a shred of energy.
'Clark, you need to eat, take a break in my feeding and start with yours.'
'I'm fine, I can eat later.' 'Lou, he is right, we cannot risk for you to faint, you are so pale.'
'Please Clark. You can rest for some time after breakfast, but you need to eat.' Looking at the worried faces of both men, I couldn't refuse. Oh god, this spoonful is like magic, it makes my stomach open and snarl, asking me to feed it. When I finished my food, Nathan told us that he needed to go visit another patient. So it was down to Will and I and the silence of the morning.
'You want to come with me to the living? Maybe watch a movie or something?' My smile was shy, but grateful, I nod and started making my way to the couch. He started to chuckle and I looked at him confused.
'I like that about you. I think it's your best quality.'
'I can't say I know what you're talking about.'
'That you forget my physical condition, and more than once a day you expect for me to do things. Just now you were lying there waiting for me to pick a movie.'
' Sorry..' Ashamed, that's the only thing my face was telling him.
' No, no, Clark. I love it! That means you see me as Will, not your patient. And I can't tell you how grateful I am for that.' I got up and put a hand on his shoulder, and with a look Tate said "are you kidding?" I told him.
'Of course you are Will, if you are not, then I don't know where the hell my legs take me to this morning.' He laughed and it was the first time since last night that I feel like myself. I smiled at him and thank him. 'What for?' ' cheering me up.' 'What happend to you Lou?' I sighed and sit down again. ' Last night Patrick came home, and all blow up when he started talking about the vacations. I told him how I no longer liked the person he is, how he didn't pay attention to me and I was the supporter in the relationship. I'm tired. I don't want to be there to listen every detail anymore. So I'm not. I'm done with him and the situation I've been enduring for years.'
My eyes were filled with tears, but I make an effort to keep them there. Will get close to me, and with his most efficient arm, managed to put his hand on top of mine. I was astonished by the contact. Even more when I could feel his thumb caressing my skin. Our eyes met, and his mouth form a little smile.
'You deserve to be the centre of attention in any relationship. So that's why I'm asking you this.' He paused just to make me anxious. ' Do you have any idea where are you going to take me so you can torture me? This is your moment. I'm going to accept anything that you have in mind.' I couldn't help but laugh, and then a smile that reached both of my ears form in its own account in my face.
' Okay, I was thinking something I've never done before... What about horse races?'
' NO! absolutely no! I hate them, please, anything but that. Please?'
My heart was so soft because of all this situation, that I didn't deny him. ' Well, since you are changing my plans, we can go to a concert, one we are going to pick together. And have to come to a picnic with me, today.'
' Hey, that's two outings.'
' Sorry, you need to think better before denying me.' He glared at me and started turning his chair to leave. So much of the nice Will. When he was out of sight I hear him calling to me.
'Hey Clark! Are you going to start making sandwiches or not? We don't have all day!' I bolted to the kitchen with the same big smile in my face. All the frustration, sadness and concerns, were left behind in that amazing couch.
