YouTube: Another Day, You'll See


"To days of inspiration, playing hooky, making something out of nothing
The need to express, to communicate.
To going against the grain, going insane, going mad!"

~La Vie Boheme, Rent


If Bella wasn't mistaken, Edward had been just milliseconds away from kissing her.

It was a ridiculous thought. They didn't know each other, and Bella had never had the urge to kiss a complete stranger before. Yet when he tilted her body back, bending his body over hers, there had been a delicious moment of anticipation. Their eyes met, and there was nothing else in the world but a desire that bordered on need to have his lips against hers.

It was good that Carlisle interrupted them, at least that's what Bella was trying to tell herself as she slipped into the dressing room she'd stashed her bag in. As she changed out of her tights and into more Seattle in the Fall appropriate clothing, Bella tried to ignore the persistent flush in her cheek.

Ridiculous, she reminded herself, eager to get out into the chill of the evening. It was way too hot in the theater.

The voices in the hallway told her that there was no hope of getting out of there without seeing Edward again, which she found herself torn between being pleased and annoyed about. Taking a deep breath to steady her erratic nerves, Bella rounded the corner.

Esme had been found and was tucked under her husband's arm. Seeing them, Bella smiled. It was like seeing one of the pictures that hung in her director's office come to life. It had struck Bella more than once the obvious love the couple had for each other.

This is real.

"There you are," Esme said, looking at Bella. "I was just telling Edward that it was far too early in the game for you two to be burning the midnight oil. There will be plenty of time for that later. The night is young and so are you. Be anywhere else but here."

"Not that she's one to talk," Carlisle said, gazing down on her adoringly. "I had to drag her away." He looked up at Edward, his eyes twinkling with mischief

Bella smiled somewhat sheepishly. "I guess I should go home and hit the books."

"Books. Like school books?" Esme balked. She shook her head as they all made their way through to the door. "Edward, take this girl out. That's an order."

Bella was about to protest but Edward looped his arm through her. "I'll take care of it, boss." When Bella turned to look at him incredulously he winked.

"Yes, you take care of that. I'll take care of this one," Carlisle said, leaning down and voraciously attacking his wife's neck. His hand reached around, cupping Esme's ass as he pulled her against him.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Edward protested. "Take it easy. We don't want to see that." He shook his head, tugging on Bella's arm. "Come on, Bella. Let's get away from them before you're scarred for life."

Laughing, Bella let him lead her away. He shuddered a little, letting go of her arm as he dug through his pockets. "It's always so creepy when they do that," he muttered, finding his keys.

"I think it's sweet," Bella disagreed. "They must be so different - a doctor and an artistic spirit. And they've been together for at least as long as Emmett's been alive." She smiled slightly. "It's nice to see."

"Right, that's all great," Edward said, waving a hand. "But watching them is like watching your parents make out." He shuddered again as they both stopped in front of what must have been his car.

"I guess Carlisle is around a lot," Bella surmised, shoving her hands deep in her pockets. The chill she'd craved only minutes before was biting at her skin.

"What makes you say that?"

"Your camaraderie. I mean, you obviously know him well."

Edward looked down, not answering right away. He opened his backdoor, throwing the high heeled shoes inside the car without looking at them. Bella bit her lip to hold back a laugh. It still amused her to no end to think about this particular man wobbling around in high heels. She'd been disappointed when he kicked them off earlier.

"Actually, I've known Carlisle and Esme since I was 17," Edward said sofly, and there was something in his tone that made Bella's heart begin to quietly ache, though she couldn't figure why. "I owe them a lot." He looked up then, grinning at her lopsidedly. "Which is why what Esme wants, Esme gets," he said, opening the passenger side door for her.

"Oh," Bella said, startled. "No, you don't have to do that."

Edward leaned on the door, looking at her. "I don't have to do anything I don't want to do," he said easily.

Bella tilted her head, a thrill going down her spine. "You want to go out with me?" she asked before she realized how pathetic that sounded. She looked down quickly but looked up again when he chuckled.

"Well," he hedged, holding up his cell phone, "I have to consult my busy social calendar..." he said, pretending to click. "Hmmm. It looks like I have a little time." He smiled at her, giving a little shrug. "Why not? Unless you have something better to do?"

"No. Just studying, like I said," Bella said slowly, considering.

Edward leaned further over the door, looking at her from underneath his eyelashes in a way that made her a little dizzy. "We could go dancing."

Bella felt her mouth fall open and she sputtered, not knowing what to say until he laughed. "I'm kidding. How about coffee?"

"So original, Masen," Bella said, gaining her wits back. "Coffee in Seattle."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Yes, well, some of us are underage," he reminded and Bella grimaced. "So what do you say, Swan. Me or school books? It's a difficult decision, I know."

~0~

They pulled up to a small, cozy coffee shop a short distance away from the theater. Bella had compromised that she could stay for a little while, and Edward promised to drive her back to her car promptly.

Though the coffee shop was well lit and looked inviting, Bella was slightly unnerved by a pair of not-so-sober looking men meandering up the sidewalk toward them. Edward saw them too, and asked her to sit still for just a second while he made his way around to the passenger door. Bella thought about protesting, but Edward was out of the car before she could.

"Dude, bro!" one of the men chortled, approaching Edward. Bella straightened up, her nerves getting the better of her. "That scar is sick."

Edward recoiled as the man tried to touch his head. "Why don't you fuck off, buddy?" he said, his voice furious but even.

Both the men laughed. "Hey, hey. No harm, man," the touchy-feely one said, holding up his hands.

Edward watched them a moment, making sure they really did walk away before he opened the passenger side door.

The previously lighthearted mood seemed to be the only casualty in the otherwise innocuous interaction. Even as he fell into step beside her, Edward was distracted. He self consciously touched his hair, his eyes darting around to the people huddled at the tables outside the coffee shop. They'd probably been curious about the confrontation but it was clear Edward was self-conscious about his scar.

Bella paused, rummaging through her bag. She brought out a dark blue, knit cap, hoping she wouldn't make things worse, and handed it to him.

Taking it, Edward smiled. "Thank you," he said sincerely, tugging the cap on his head. He chuckled lightly. "I might need to invest in a couple of these things for the duration, eh?"

"Maybe," Bella agreed amiably.

In spite of her better judgment, half an hour later Bella was still seated across from Edward. She was sipping on hot tea because she detested coffee. They were playing 20 questions to get to know each other. Rather, Edward was playing 20 questions. Bella was stuck on 20 answers because he was shooting out his questions so quickly. She couldn't imagine that he was that interested, but he never looked bored and somehow Bella, normally very quiet, found herself talking.

"I have no idea what I'm going to major in."

"Not theater then?" Edward asked.

Bella shrugged. "I like acting with groups like this. If I was a theater major, I'd have to go out for the plays at the University," she pointed out. "Besides, I don't think that I'm so invested that I'd want to do this for a living."

"You must have been with the Wolves while you were still in high school, right?"

"Yes," Bella said shortly, setting her cup on the table a little harder than she intended at the mention of the Wolves.

"Why did you leave them anyway?" He looked apologetic. "I mean, you can tell me to fuck off if it's none of my business."

"No, it's fine," Bella lied, looking down at the table. She thought for a moment, trying to find the right words. He didn't need to know her sad little story. "Like you said, I'd been with them since high school. Sometimes you need to explore your options rather than settle just because it's always been there."

"Hmm." Edward murmured around a drink of coffee. She could feel his eyes on her and thought for a moment that he was going to press the issue. Thankfully, he didn't. "Are you from Seattle?"

"Technically. I was born in Forks but we moved to Phoenix when I was 1. We moved back to Seattle when I was 12."

Two cups of tea and coffee later, Edward was still at it.

"When's your birthday?"

Bella looked up, her lips quirking before she answered. "Next Friday."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "Your birthday is the 13th? Friday the 13th?"

"Not every year." Bella said, wrinkling her nose and neglecting to mention she'd been born on Friday the 13th.

Edward whistled, looking amused. "So, going to party hard?"

"I don't really celebrate my birthday," she said, tracing a pattern on the table with the pad of her finger. "Getting older isn't an accomplishment after all."

"Hmmm," Edward said again. Bella was relieved when he didn't press the issue.

It was well over an hour later that they were finally back in the parking lot of the theater. Edward pulled his car up right beside her Sunfire. He tilted his head, quirking an eyebrow at her. "Purple?"

"When the price is right, you don't argue about color," she returned.

"For purple, I might," Edward joked.

Bella smiled. "Thanks for tonight. It's been a while since I've just ... hung out."

"What? No frat parties for you, college girl?" He shook his head. "I had a good time."

Just as Bella was about to slide out of the car, Edward stopped her. Bella turned back, a little breathless with anticipation, but he was only handing her the knit cap. "Don't forget this."

Bella took it, looking at him with curious eyes. For a moment, desire overcame her inhibitions - only enough that she reached out, running her hand along the stubbly growth of hair on the side of his head opposite his scar. She'd always loved the feel of very short hair under her fingers and his was soft as felt. "It doesn't look bad, you know," she murmured, not adding that he could probably shave only half his head and still look good.

She heard him swallow hard and, afraid she was annoying him, yanked her hand back quickly. But when she looked, his smile was soft, a glint of something she couldn't quite name reflecting in his eyes. All she knew was that the world had condensed to just the tight space inside the car and the atmosphere between them was charged like the calm before the storm. She bit her lip.

"You can keep the hat," she blurted, needing to say something. She reached behind her for the door handle, forcing herself to turn around and get out of the car.

"Thanks," Edward said, and Bella noticed his hands were gripped tightly around the steering wheel. He swallowed hard again and leaned forward, rolling down the window as she closed the door. "Drive safe."

"I will," Bella assured.

Edward waited, letting her back out of her parking space before he followed her out of the parking lot.

~0~

"You know what you felt the first time you saw him. This one was different - not just another pretty boy conquest. You could see he was an injured soul, and even though he's denying what he feels, you know you connected."

Bella listened to Esme's intense voice, feeling a shiver go down her spine. She was on the stage, face to face with Mike as Esme walked them through Another Day. Bella loved the way Esme talked the cast through each of the songs, directing the emotion that should bleed into their voices. Esme was an intuitive, passionate woman, and it showed.

"You're not used to hearing no from anyone, and that only makes you want him even more," Esme continued.

She walked around them, resting a hand on Mike's shoulder. "You're just learning that you can live with a disease that's going to kill you. You're terrified of life, and this woman - this girl - is trying to make you feel again. Your fear comes out as anger."

Esme looked over Mike's shoulder to Bella. "This song is an argument. It's not a calm argument. It's a shatter glasses against the wall, scream until your throat is hoarse fight. He's telling you to try again tomorrow when you live only for today because today is all you know you have.

She backed off, letting her words set in. Bella found her eyes drawn to Mike's, her heart beginning to beat hard against her chest with conflict. Time felt short, each minute too precious to waste. She was angry that he couldn't realize how little time any of them had.

"Yes," Esme said, her tone excited. "You can feel it. It's the importance of life and death, right here on this stage." She nodded, putting her glasses on as she made her way into the audience. "Take it from the kiss. Roger, Mimi is going to kiss you, and for a second, you're going to want to give in. You want to touch her, bring her to you. But you're scared, and you're angry. Push her away and go."

~0~

An hour later, Bella was in a happy haze. Being on stage was like embodying the best ideas and ideals of all literature. Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. On the stage, it felt possible to live that way. She loved this atmosphere - like life's problems could be solved by simply changing the way you lived. The closed off could learn to live and love. The dying could get a second chance. Life could be measured in seasons of love.

"Don't look now, but Jacob Black has been watching us for the last half hour," Mike said into her ear while Esme was distracted.

Seated on the table in the middle of the stage, Bella craned her neck. Sure enough, Jacob was sitting several rows behind Esme, leaning on the seatback in front of him and staring intently in her direction with a friendly smile on his face. Bella sighed. Since the day he'd stuck his foot in his mouth the week before, Bella had been ignoring Jacob's phone calls. Apparently, he'd decided to track her down here.

"What's he doing here?" Jasper muttered, coming to stand in front of Bella so he could look over her shoulder. In fact, by that point the majority of the cast - almost everyone except Edward was scattered on the stage - had figured out Jake was there. Many of them looked uncomfortable, which confused Bella until she remembered that C.A.T. and The Wolves were in direct competition. She'd never taken it seriously, but many of the Wolves had, so it stood to reason that some of the others would, too.

"I saw him slip in about an hour ago," Mike said. "I didn't want to say anything. Everyone was in a zone. He's just been watching us so I thought... no harm, right?"

"He wants to talk to me," Bella said, knowing she'd have to face the music if only for the comfort of the rest of the group. "I'll get him out."

"Not for our sake," Esme said, and Bella jumped, swinging around on the table to face her director, whom she hadn't thought was paying attention. Esme gave her a grin that was uncharacteristically cocky. "I know I have the more talented kids, so let 'em weep."

There were several chuckles and anyone who'd been suspicious eased considerably. Dismissing the topic, Esme looked down at her clipboard. "You can go to talk to your friend, Bella. I'm done with you for the moment anyway. Mark, Benny, Roger, Collins, let's talk about You'll See. Bob can fill in for Angel's part. Joanne - don't go anywhere."

Jasper turned to Mr. Banner. "C'mere, Bob. Let's make out," he said, reaching for the older man whose eyes went comically wide. The rest of the cast giggled as Bella reluctantly turned away.

Resenting having to leave the safe haven of the stage, Bella couldn't bring herself to erase her grimace as she walked back in the audience to where Jacob sat. He stood, a huge grin on his face and took a step toward her, but Bella held out a hand. "Sit. Stay," she commanded, crossing her arms.

Jacob's grin fell. "I'm not a dog," he grumbled, though he sat back down like she asked.

Bella scoffed. "Right."

"Jeez," Jacob said, rolling his eyes. "Are we going to get beyond that ever?"

"What do you want, Jacob?"

He grumbled, running a hand through his hair and looking very much like a little boy. "That's what I want... for us to be over this," he said, gesturing around them vaguely. "Look, you know I know what I did was..." He huffed, obviously struggling for words. But then he took a deep breath and looked at her, his deep, brown eyes pleading. "We got off track, trying to be together. But I think we're supposed to be friends. I miss you, Bella."

Bella debated internally for a moment. "Scoot over two seats," she said grudgingly.

Jacob raised an eyebrow, looking like he wanted to question, but he wisely said nothing. He got up and took the seat she indicated. He watched, looking like a little boy whose parent was reaching for the toy he wanted, as she sat down, keeping a seat between them.

"It's not easy, Jake," she said finally, staring ahead but not really seeing anything. "I mean... it's not like you broke my heart. You didn't. You're right. We never should have tried to be something more than friends. But see, that's my problem with what you did."

There was silence for a handful of moments. "I don't understand," Jake finally admitted.

Bella brought her hair forward, playing with the long strands she'd had dyed purple just the day before. "What you talked about - letting the emotion of the character you were playing get the better of you - I get that." Bella's lips quirked, remembering the swell of the music as Edward danced her around the practice room, the way their bodies had responded to each other automatically. "I could have forgiven that."

"Then what-"

"The problem is that it happened more than once. It happened often enough that I had the time to catch you, and that meant that you had the time to think about what you were doing," Bella continued. She looked at him then, knowing her eyes were sad because this is what made her heart ache. "As my friend, I don't understand how you could have done that to me. So not only did I have my best friend not telling me that my boyfriend was stepping out behind my back, but everyone else I thought was my friend was covering for you,too. Do you realize that I had no one left to trust?"

As she said the words, the ache intensified. All of Bella's life, she'd felt separate from her peers. Not entirely different but like she was just one shade off - like everyone else was in monochrome and she was in pastel. With the Wolves, she'd begun to feel like she'd found a family. Then they had betrayed her. Bella understood, of course. Jacob had seniority, so to speak. He'd grown up with most of the kids at the other theater. But it didn't make it hurt any less.

Jacob slumped in his seat, resting his head on the back and craning his neck to stare at the ceiling. Bella knew that he understood. That was the thing she missed most about Jacob - how he noticed the things that most people missed. Unlike most everyone who was too wrapped up in themselves and their own life, Jacob was observant. She knew he cared. That was what made his betrayal all the worse because she never would have believed it if she hadn't seen it with her own eyes.

"Well, look... can't we start over?" he asked, his voice a little plaintive. "Let me take you out for your birthday. I know Charlie's working."

"And you know I'm not going out with anyone else," Bella repeated bitterly.

Jacob groaned. "It was a stupid thing to say, but like we all know - I'm stupid," he said, sitting up and thumping his chest.

Bella smirked before she could help it.

"See?" Jacob said, ducking his head to try to catch her eye. Bella could see out of the corner of her vision that he was grinning again. "You don't hate me. Just let me take you out, Bells. Have a good time. Everyone should have a good time on their birthday."

Not speaking right away, Bella started to allow herself to mull his request over. Then a familiar strain of music hit her ear. She glanced at the stage, a little shocked to find the players had changed and Tyler was face to face with Jessica, singing the beginning lyrics of Tango: Maureen.

Her body remembered even as she tried to push the memories back. Her skin felt hot, remembering Edward's hand at the small of her back, pulling her flush against him as he tilted her backward.

"I have to get out of here," she mumbled, standing suddenly. She could feel her cheeks were pink, and she knew damn well that Jacob would notice. Since he had no tact, he was also likely to pester her until she revealed the reason for her flustered state. There was no way she wanted to have that conversation with anyone, let alone Jacob.

"I'll think about it, Jake," she said to distract him. "Now, you should probably get out of here. Some of the others think you're spying."

"Pffft." Jacob waved his hand dismissively. "Spying on what? Our moves are a lot sweeter than this."

Bella rolled her eyes. "We haven't gotten to the dancing yet, jackass. Now go away," she said, but she smiled.

Staying only long enough to make sure Jacob got up, Bella hurried down the aisle, heading to the backstage area. Heading for the safety of the practice rooms - they were sound proofed for exactly this reason - Bella had occasion to pass the room where Edward and Tanya were working.

She stopped short, suddenly forgetting the heat in her bloodstream. Tanya was standing behind Edward, her hands on his waist. She was swaying him, trying to get him to use his hips rather than his body to move to the beat.

Logically, what was going on in that practice room was all business. Bella knew that. But she wasn't oblivious to the catty whispers about Edward. If Jessica and Tyler could be believed, he'd had a fling with Tanya the previous season. And why not? Their bodies pressed against each other, moving to the music, it would have taken nothing for Edward to tilt his head back and capture her lips...

Like it would have taken nothing for Edward to kiss Bella when they'd danced last night.

Bella shook her head to clear her thoughts, breathing through a sudden tightness in her chest. She made a beeline for the prop room instead. No one was in the prop room yet.

Once she was hidden away, Bella tried to find the centered place she'd been in just a short time before. She couldn't. Ridiculous as it was, Bella felt some odd sort of betrayal, seeing Edward in an intimate position with Tanya. She was playing the games in her head that she'd rolled her eyes at when she was in high school. Did he like her? Had Bella misread every signal that has passed between them.

And why did she care so much?

Bella laughed lightly to herself, remembering her words to Jacob. She understood the emotion of the stage. She also understood that it wasn't real. Life wasn't something that could be packaged up so neatly.

There was a sense of romance to whatever existed between her and Edward. When she'd walked into the theater to audition, she'd been nervous. Her eyes had been on her shoes as she repeated the lyrics she was to recite over and over in her head. Then she'd looked up and there he was. There was no denying the man was gorgeous, and the way he was leaning against the piano, watching her, had every worry, every lyric, skittering away like a dandelion blown into the wind.

Bella had been to her share of auditions. Often, the people she auditioned with didn't look at her, but Edward never stopped. He acted to her, and that was rare. That had made it so easy to disappear into the character.

But she wasn't Mimi, and the pretty ideas of love at first sight - or whatever this was at first sight - would fade with the music. She wasn't going to be like Jacob - continuing on as if he could live in a dream world forever. Bella resolved herself to keep one foot firmly on the ground ... especially when it came to Edward Masen.

A/N: Oh, Bella.

Jadedandboring - I would have your children if you didn't already have them. Thanks for everything you do... including finding me lyrics when the characters decided not to do what I wanted ... as per usual. Thanks for singing to me and with me and for me and... yeah.

Barburella - stfu, I love you.

Youz guyz - I love you too. How we doing out there?