Chapter IV

Botan's Story

It had been quite a while, since Botan had spoken to or seen her mentor, Nakatsu. She was the epitome of matriarchal governance and she taught what every death deity in the Spirit world knew so she was often called the original Grim Reaper. Mistress Nakatsu had long black hair that was tied in a low pony tail and in each side of her face hangs a string of black pearls. Unlike the other ferry women who wore colored kimonos, Mistress Nakatsu wore a plain black kimono and even her obi is black. When Botan had last heard about her mentor, she was already rising higher up in the hierarchy of the Spirit world but Botan believes that there's still that one place where she can go to find her and that is where she was heading now, hoping to speak to her about the first day they met.

Botan took the elevator and pushed the button that would take her to the top most floor of the building and every ticking second it took for the elevator to rise seemed like an eternity to Botan and the elevator music was not helping.

Finally, the elevator door opened and it revealed a vast rooftop that overlooks the dark horizon of the Spirit world.

The rooftop was the place that Nakatsu frequented and Botan would always find her there during the afternoons. Years ago, her mentor would always ask her to accompany her there until dusk and they would talk about all sorts of things; from the ways of the spirit world, to bizarre demons she had encountered up to her observation of human behaviors, Nakatsu had always shared to her all those details she felt would be beneficial to her as a novice deity of death.

Botan looked around to see if someone was on the rooftop and her heart sunk when she realized that she was alone. She really wanted to see Nakatsu but it looked like she'll have to figure out things all on her own.

She turned on her heel and headed back to the elevator but as soon as she did, the elevator door opened and she saw the very person she was looking for, clad in her usual black kimono.

"Botan?" Nakatsu said, surprised at the sight of her old apprentice who rushed to her and gave her a tight hug.

"Nakatsu-san! I was looking for you!" Botan said in a sad yet relieved voice.

"What's wrong, Botan?" Nakatsu asked, looking down at the face of the younger death deity who still hasn't let her go.

Botan, suddenly realizing the improperness of her actions quickly backed away from Nakatsu. They may have been close before but many years have passed and the circumstances were now different.

"Botan-chan." Nakatsu smiled warmly at her. "You didn't grow old one bit." She said looking at Botan from head to toe, noting the sad look on her purple eyes. "That means it hasn't been that long, you need not worry about anything when you're around me. Technically, I'm still your mother."

After that, the awkward wall between Botan and her old mentor slowly disappeared and Botan dove in to explain why she was looking for her. Botan told her about the passage in the Houjin documents, how she read Nakatsu's name on it, the mention of a certain blue haired girl and how Koenma seemed to not want her to see or even be near the Houjin documents.

"I know that what I'm telling you does not make any sense at all and I might just be linking things that aren't related to each other but… I have this nagging feeling, and it's screaming at me not to let this go."

Nakatsu remained silent for a while after hearing Botan's story, then she gestured Botan to follow her back to the elevator. "This isn't the right place to be discussing something like this. Let's not spoil the meaning of this place to us, follow me."

With those words said, Botan knew that whatever Nakatsu had to say about her concerns would certainly be something that will be unpleasant to learn.

Five floors from the rooftop, the elevator stopped and they entered a corridor that lead to the Spirit world archives. Unlike the Spirit world records room, the archives was a restricted area that only a few employees can access and when Botan and Nakatsu reached the frosted glass door of the archives, Nakatsu took out an access card, swiped it on the black scanner at the side of the door and after hearing a low beeping sound, the door slid open to the left and the two women entered the archives.

"I took you here because this is by far the most private place that I can tell you all the things you need to know." Nakatsu began as she led Botan in the middle of the archives where countless bookshelves surrounded them. "So to begin addressing your questions, the most important of all perhaps is to know who the blue haired girl was in the Houjin documents, so let's start with her."

Botan felt her heart stop for a moment then she gulped in anticipation, but for some strange reason, although her ears definitely wanted to hear what Nakatsu would say, her feet felt like they wanted to walk away.

"There's no point beating around the bush. " Nakatsu said somberly. "The girl in the Houjin documents, the one that came from Nue's stomach, it was you, Botan." She revealed then she watched as Botan opened her lips to say something and she paused to allow her to speak.

"But that's not possible, is it?" Botan asked looking confused and she began telling Nakatsu the very same thing she told herself earlier when she was putting the tattered Houjin documents together. "I'm not even a hundred years old, the Houjin incident happened seven hundred years ago." She reasoned but she knew perfectly well that Nakatsu would never lie to her.

"Your soul was too damaged that it took hundreds of years to rehabilitate it. You were stuck in a limbo that everyone almost gave up on you but you finally woke up. Unfortunately though, when you did, you had no memory that you've lived a human life. When you've awaken, it was like it was the first time you have seen things, you were so innocent of everyone and everything." Nakatsu explained.

"Why didn't anyone tell me any of these before? I Think I'd appreciate knowing what my past was!"

Nakatsu shook her head dolefully. "It was not me who decided on it but nevertheless I have agreed to King Enma's advice. Your past was so tainted, Botan. If it was up to us, it is definitely not worth looking back to."

Botan didn't say anything but she clenched her fist. She didn't know how she'd react to how Nakatsu just described her supposed past but at that moment, she was drowning in mixed feelings of uncertainty, sadness and frustration.

"So now I ask you, Botan." Nakatsu continued as she walked towards one of the old wooden shelves and took a book from it. "Would you still like to find out more about yourself or would you rather leave this place and live your life as you had done so during the past years? I warn you though, if you choose the former, I assure that—"

"Yes. I want to know!" Botan interrupted Nakatsu in a determined voice. "I- I don't think I can just turn my back from all this now… I want to know."

"Why?" Nakatsu asked, turning to face her.

"What do you mean by why?" Botan asked back, feeling annoyed all of a sudden. "Am I not entitled to know what I actually am?"

"What you are?"

Botan sighed. "You, Ayame, and all the other guides of the spirit world… You were all created to serve the purpose of being spirit guides and apparently that's not the case for me. I'm just a lost soul, accidentally found in the stomach of a monster… I'm not like you guys…" she said desolately.

"You don't know what you're saying. You're already a mess and I have not told you everything that I know about your past yet." Nakatsu snapped at her. "I didn't train you to become a self-pitying fool."

Botan looked down to avoid seeing the disappointment on her old mentor's eyes. She knew Nakatsu had a point; one should never wallow on the misery of the moment- that was one of the things she taught her. As Grim Reapers who walk side by side with death, it was never wise to be affected by the sadness of someone's passing or by the sorrow of those left behind, or else you'll break—but what if it was your own misery? You couldn't really help but acknowledge the feeling.

"Botan, I'm in no position to tell you how you should feel but you should at least try to be strong. " Nakatsu said in a gentler tone. "Now please, we should really sit down for the story that I am to tell you requires it."

As soon as Nakatsu said this, a table and two wooden chairs materialized between her and Botan and they both sat down beside each other. Nakatsu then placed a familiar looking old book on top of the table and started browsing through it, looking for a particular section that she needed to show Botan.

"That's the Houjin documents." Botan said as she realized why the book looked familiar; the writing, the paper and the general way it looked was the same as the one she had nearly destroyed earlier. "So they made duplicates of documents before and they kept them here in the archives?" She asked without really expecting an answer. She just felt like she needed to say something that made sense in order to move past the rather embarrassing way she presented herself earlier.

"Yes." Nakatsu answered curtly. "Here we are…" She then said as she opened the book, revealing a painting of a beautiful woman with long black hair, clothed in fine Japanese kimono and a fur shawl.

"Who is that?" Botan could not help but admire the image. Though it was old, it did not fail to show how striking the subject of the painting was.

"This woman, is your mother, Botan." Nakatsu said.

"What?" Botan exclaimed. "But she's so pretty, and young… I mean, I couldn't be related to…" Her words faltered when she noticed how similar her eyes were to the woman in the painting.

"Yes, pretty and young…" Nakatsu repeated softly. "This woman's name is Tamamo, the lady of the Utagawa clan who ruled the town of Houjin seven hundred years ago, and your story starts with her."

Botan reflexively held her breath and it was a great thing she did so because the following revelation Nakatsu had imprudently uttered would've knocked the wind out of her.

"This woman, Lady Utagawa Tamamo, is the very reason why you died, Botan. It was in her orders that you be sacrificed to the demon Nue."

Botan stared at Nakatsu in complete disbelief. She tried saying something, particularly to point out why she needed to start off with such disheartening information about her mother but it was as if something was blocking the sound from coming out of her mouth and she was rendered speechless.

"I don't want you to get any other ideas during the progress of your life's story regarding this woman, Botan and I apologize if I cannot say anything good about her. The story I'm about to tell you is not written in this document, it will be based on the demon Nue's confession and that manuscript is in King Enma's private collection. However, trust that I will only relate to you the truth of your past life." Nakatsu said bluntly and she continued on. "During the time that the Utagawa clan had reigned over the town of Houjin, they had the unfortunate fate of encountering another family whose power was slowly growing and was undoubtedly threatening their supremacy over the vast domain. Add that to the fact that they seem to be unable to produce a male heir, they had no choice but to resort to the most peaceful way of retaining their power over Houjin and that is to have their one and only successor be married to a descendant of the other family. And so Lady Tamamo was married to Satzuma Shiro of the Satzuma clan. However, behind all those passive façade was a malicious plan which was brewed by the proud and despotic Lord Utagawa, Lady Tamamo's grandfather and the last male heir of the Utagawa clan. Lord Utagawa's original motive was to join the fortunes of the two families then eliminate the Satzuma clan completely once Tamamo bears a child. A year after the marriage, Tamamo did bear a child and without knowing the gender of unborn infant, Lord Utagawa employed the help of the demon, Nue to kill all of those from the Satzuma clan." Nakatsu turned the page of the book and she showed Botan the image of the demon, Nue. It had the body of a tiger but relatively larger than a normal one and on the painting, it stands upright. It also had a face that looked almost human like and a golden mane surrounding it. For a tail, it had a snake that had red eyes and a pair of deadly looking fangs.

"Nue was able to kill almost all from the Satzuma clan but at Shiro Satzuma's plea, he begged Lord Utagawa to have his and his parents' lives to be spared. Lord Utagawa agreed but only if they would leave Houjin for good. However, Lady Tamamo opposed this, saying that they have gotten all they need from the Satzumas and they did not need three shadows that might haunt them in the future. The three Satzumas swore that they would go as far as their feet can take them and will never speak nor think of Houjin again but Tamamo was resolute and she ordered Nue to go after her husband and her two aged in-laws and they were killed and eaten even before crossing the arc that was the entrance and the way out of Houjin." Nakatsu stole a glance at Botan and seeing that she was holding out well, she continued her story.

"After the annihilation of the entire Satzuma clan, The Utagawa family rose to power even more due to the fear they have struck upon the inhabitants of Houjin. Everything fell apart though when Tamamo finally gave birth to a daughter. Lord Utagawa was unable to bear the fact that he may die without having the assurance that the Utagawa legacy would continue and he slowly lost his sanity and everything fell into Tamamo's shoulders. Now, your mother, who some may say is the younger female version of the tyrant which is your grandfather, saw Lord Utagawa's downfall as an opportunity to take over Houjin and Nue's control and she eventually had the old man killed by Nue. Lady Tamamo declared herself as the new overseer of Houjin and she created an image wherein she made herself appear as though she was a victim of her own grandfather's quest for power and she had successfully gained the town's sympathy. She also declared that due to all the dreadful things that had happened, especially to her husband's family, she had lost the child that she was carrying. The child was alive though and initially, she had planned on killing her as well for she was no use to her at all. However, a group of monks who had served as advisers to the Utagawa family for decades pitied the innocent child and asked that they give the girl to them and she gladly did." Nakatsu then turned to Botan to directly address her and she saw and could feel that she was trying her best not to cry.

"The monks who took you in may have been the kindest group of people that I can mention in this memoir, your memoir. They treated you like their own daughter, clothe you, fed you, and you were happy to be with them. They protected you since the first day you came to their lives and even when you are about to die… Sinister, Tamamo may have been, she was still too young to govern an entire town and as she had inherited the pact with Nue from her grandfather, she also had the responsibility of feeding the demon in exchange for its protection and the promise of absolute power over Houjin. In time, she was not able to perform her end of the bargain with Nue and as a last resort of keeping the demon by her side and preventing it from turning against her, she remembered that she had a daughter and she offered you as a sacrifice. The monks were informed of the plan and they were powerless against it. They could not escape the town with you and they could not change Tamamo's mind. So what they did was they gave you a strong sleeping drug the night that Nue would come to the temple for you and the aim was that, if they do fail and die fighting off Nue, they should at the very least not allow you to feel any pain when you die. The monks fought Nue and they were killed, after that, Nue came for you… It was after this that Nue turned against Tamamo and came after her as well and the town of Houjin became his hunting ground. The event in Houjin escalated to King Enma's knowledge and he had Reikai soldiers take him down. It was here in the Spirit world that we finally met you, Botan."

It took around three minutes before anything else was spoken inside the archive, after this Botan stood up and she walked away from the table, her back turned on Nakatsu. After hearing the story of her past, she admits she feels a little sad about it. But just a little. Mostly, she feels appalled. She couldn't make herself believe that she was the blue haired girl from the story, the Utagawa child that was disposed by her mother and then sacrificed to a monster. Everything seemed unreal, and yet, there's that certain ache within her that she couldn't deny.

Botan tried mustering a blank expression before turning to face Nakatsu again. She also made sure that she was composed enough to speak properly before asking some questions.

"The monks.., How many were they and did their spirits survive?"

Nakatsu shook her head. "Their souls have been digested before the Reikai soldiers captured Nue. Out of all his victims, only your soul survived."

"But, if that's the case…" Botan furrowed her eyebrows, suddenly realizing something despite all that was clouding her mind. "You said that I was attacked by Nue first before he came after My mo—I mean Tamamo. Wouldn't have you found her spirit inside Nue as well?"

"That is one of the mysteries that is yet to be solved. You are correct, we should've found Tamamo's soul inside Nue as well but we didn't. A careful tally of all the residents of Houjin that fell victim to Nue was conducted for days and we were able to account every single soul except one, and that is Tamamo's. "