Chapter 4
Chapter 4 Bat Country
Being a vampire has its advantages. I can see better at night, my hearing and sense of smell are improved, but I am not sure what is worst about it; the fact that I have to abandon any notion of what is normal, or the fact that I am immortal. You see, immortality doesn't mean you will never die, because there's always the possibility of being killed, just not naturally. It extends our lives but doesn't make us invincible. Sure, I'm harder to kill in some ways, but becoming a vampire comes with its own set of weaknesses that make it easier to kill me if I am not careful. I die for the day and could easily be staked if I wasn't hidden. I benefit from having a very old, smart and rich vampire as my mentor, who shares his thousand years of knowledge and experience with me.
No, immortality means that I will watch anyone and everyone I will ever care for die because I'll simply outlive them.
I always thought vampires did not have feelings, or at least very few. I also thought them to be lonely creatures and never really stopped to consider why. Vampires do feel, they are just experts at hiding or channeling it. If you were to live for thousands of years, wouldn't you, too? Who would want to live that long with sadness, depression and anxiety? And really, I have seen plenty of anger and brutality from vampires, which I suspect result from pure emotions…the same basic instincts humanity has. Is it that farfetched to think, it's in there, only hidden?
He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man- Samuel Johnson
Being a man is painful and by being violent brutes, vampires make forgetting their humanity easier. But they sometimes forget that being human is not just pain. There is love and beauty in the world. I guess having to destroy it to feed yourself is hard to bear. Plus, if you are going to live for a long time, would the baggage of negative emotions not be too hard on you after awhile? Having to feed on innocent people just to survive is quite terrible really.
It makes sense why vampires chose to be beasts over humans and I know at some point, I will have to make this decision, too. But will I want to be a beast who doesn't hurt, or a human who feels pain and will always remember every face I hurt?
As I pondered my own thoughts, I walked over to Bill's house across the cemetery. I had about two hours until dawn so I was in no rush. I loved my vampire speed but I found that the more I used it, the more blood I needed to drink. So in an effort to conserve my energy, I walked most of the time. Plus, it gave me time to appreciate nature in a different way. Not only did I enjoy the peacefulness of the cemetery, but I could also really appreciate its beauty. Being dead gave me another look on death itself, and as I did not fear it the same way humans do, it allowed me to appreciate what it was; an eternal rest.
The porch was shrouded in darkness, having no one there to turn the light on. It didn't really matter for me since I could see in the dark, but vampire vision was very strange when it came to the absence of light. The best way I can describe it is that our eyes picked up on movements instead of light. As if vibrations imitated colours, it allowed us to have a sense of where things were and what movements were occurring.
The moon was up too, which afforded enough light that I didn't actually require my special vision. I stared at the door, not sure how I should enter. I could kick it down or go to the back and break a window. A missing front door would be more noticeable than a broken window in the back. But before I turned and headed for the back of the house, I thought to try just opening the door and found it unlocked.
I didn't really want to be here, mainly because I knew it would bring back memories of that prick, Bill. I growled as I opened the door and saw the chair…that fucking chair he had tied me to. I grabbed it and threw it against the staircase, hoping for relief that never came. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I sighed heavily and turned on the lights, feeling as if I was being watched. Though I had no blood that could be frozen, my instincts told me to turn around, so I did.
But there was no one. No heartbeat. No void. I shrugged off the creepy feeling and began my exploration of the house. As much as Bill had been an ass, he wasn't stupid. I figured the database wouldn't be in an obvious place like his computer so I explored the floor — every plank, every nail — thinking that maybe there was a secret hole. My efforts in vain both upstairs and down, I moved on to the walls. I removed each picture frame, peeled the wallpaper, and removed light fixtures and light plates. Nothing. There was absolutely no trace of it. Besides the fact that I wasn't too sure what exactly I was looking for, I came to the conclusion after an hour's search that it was simply not here. I'd picked up various scents, though, and saw that some of the dust had been wiped away, possibly meaning that someone had found it before I could.
As I came downstairs, the feeling of being watched crept back over me. This time it was stronger and I knew it wasn't my imagination. There was still no heartbeat, only a void, and I knew he or she was in the other room. I turned in the direction of the void, but before I could take a step he was on me. I think I screamed, though as a vampire I don't like admitting it. He had pinned me to the wall, my hands above my head while his knee pressed between my legs…a classically effective technique of restraint.
My mystery vampire was tall — probably well above 6 feet — and seemed really fit. I couldn't see his face as he had it buried in my neck — sniffing me like dogs do — but I can tell you he had short light brown hair. I tried to wiggle free but his muscular arm pressed harder and I heard him growl in my ear.
''What the fuck are you?'' he demanded as he broke away, finally allowing me to see his face.
I couldn't help but stare. I'd been raised to know that staring was extremely rude, but in the position I was in, who the fuck cared anyway? I just couldn't take my eyes away from it, so hideous and out of place. As if someone had ripped a tear in the Mona Lisa herself, he had a large, jagged scar from his left ear to his bottom right jaw. It had not healed properly, so much that it looked like his jaw should no longer be attached to his face on his left side. And despite its ugliness, his dark blue eyes would've taken my breath away, had I possessed any. Was it the hideousness of the scar that made his eyes look so beautiful, or was it the beauty in his eyes that made his scar so disgusting?
''What are you?'' he asked me again, and I rolled my eyes, trying to appear relaxed. I could tell he was older by a lot of years, but it didn't stop me from scanning for a means to get away.
''It's funny, in my human life I had a lot of people asking me the exact same question. Now that I am a vampire I still get it? What's wrong with you?'' I said, staring into his eyes.
He frowned, and as fast as he had been on me, he let me go.
He looked over his shoulder as if he was being followed, which was ironic since he'd given me the same feeling only moments before. For a vampire, he looked like he was a nervous wreck, but as soon as I even thought that, the expression had vanished, his face becoming stone cold as he stared at me. Eric explained to me once that I had a distinctive scent that some vampires might question. We had talked of coming up with a believable explanation, but instead he had tested the range of the scent itself and determined that only people really close to me could smell it. Even then, it was a matter of whether or not they were smart enough to even realize something was different. This vampire in front of me was indeed intelligent, but I hoped my tone was assertive enough that he wouldn't ask again.
''What are you doing here?'' he asked instead.
''I could ask you the same,'' I replied, which caused him to grin on his right side, the left seemingly paralyzed from the scar.
''Touché,'' is all he said before looking away. ''Stop looking at me like that!'' he growled.
''Like what?'' I replied, but instantly blushed at how rude I was.
''Like you pity me or something.''
That took me by surprize. He inspired curiosity, fear and maybe even anger for attacking me, but I certainly didn't feel pity for him. If anything I marvelled at the contrast I could see on his face. He was beautiful, in his own way.
''I don't. Who are you anyway? Sheriff Northman didn't tell me you would be here,'' I said, cocking an eyebrow. It was custom for vampires to identify themselves to the sheriff of the area upon entering. If Eric knew about this, he would have told me, therefore I felt it safe to assume that he didn't, and this guy was up to no good.
He didn't answer me right away, instead taking a few steps back and seemingly assessing me, or perhaps the situation.
''Do you work for him then?'' he asked.
''Yes…what are you doing here?'' I asked again, but I knew the answer to my own question. He was looking for the database, too. I wasn't sure who he worked for but one thing was for sure, it wasn't for Eric.
''Bill was an old friend. I came to pay my respects.''
''Was?'' I asked innocently. How did he know Bill had passed? ''He is missing, not dead.'' I argued.
''Sure, that's what they say,'' he sneered with such disgust in his voice it gave me chills.
He took a step in my direction but I immediately backed the up. My instincts were screaming for me to get out, but my curiosity kept me in place.
''Are you scared?'' he asked, intrigued.
''I don't know you,'' I said defensively.
'But you are a vampire and have no reason to fear me.'' he said with a grin. ''You are different, though…you are still human inside,'' he stated matter-of-factly, but it made me cough in disbelief.
''I don't know what you're talking about,'' I replied, moving toward the door, but he blocked me again and grabbed my arm.
''Were you the telepath?'' he asked with a dangerous glint in his eye. I managed to calm my nerves enough to answer no, but I wasn't sure if he believed me. How did he know about me? Who the hell was he and what the hell did he want?
He didn't add anything else, but turned rapidly toward the door.
''I will be seeing you around," he called over his shoulder. "I suggest you do not speak of this with your sheriff. It would be wise to keep this secret between us.''
''Wait!'' I called out, but it was too late. He was already gone. I frowned. Something had spooked him. He had not seemed to want to harm me, but his unwillingness to identify himself had me suspicious. Who was he and what was he doing in Bill's house?
As I stepped outside, the sun was already coming up and I suddenly understood that he had rushed away not because anything had spooked him, but because he had felt the call of daylight approaching…the same call I barely noticed most days. I watched the sun rise fully, knowing I would pay for this and would probably require extra rest tonight. I could feel the tingle on my skin, the near state of combustion it was at but never reaching. Once the sky turned blue, and the orange had disappeared, I called it a day and went back to my house.
My hidey hole was located beneath the kitchen table, under an area rug. It was an unusual place for it, which was exactly the point. If someone was coming to look for me, the kitchen wasn't the first or even second place they would look. Eric had helped me with the installation and we'd faked a sewage backup to allow the proper tools and machinery on the property without arousing suspicion. Since my house was really old and the kitchen had been added later in the 1900's, there was already a crawl space under the kitchen floor. The safe room was small but had enough room for a double bed and dresser, with a compact bathroom featuring a shower and sink. I also had a mini fridge with bagged blood for emergencies.
I went into the bathroom and quickly showered. Death was imminent; I could feel it creeping in my every move. I felt heavy and sluggish, which was also a sign that I had extended my stay into the daylight for too long. So, having no time to put on clothing, I climbed in my bed completely naked and died for the day.
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