It is difficult for Castiel to focus. Dean is seated next to him at the cafeteria table, inhaling his breakfast, while Balthazar tells him the last detail about their vacation. Apart from a few grunt and nods, Dean doesn't add much to the conversation, yet Castiel is paralyzed. His heart is beating a scattaco, his hands are useless, as his own plate of eggs is cooling down. Luckily, Balth isn't asking him to participate.

Castiel has sometimes wondered if his roommate has an inkling of his attraction to Dean, but he doesn't think so. He must just be lucky. In between his intense eating, Dean turns toward him a few times, giving him the grin of a hamster that is storing for winter. It is so endearing, Castiel wants to spend his time cooking for him. For the rest of his life, if he could.

"I really think we should beat the traffic. So, whatever you do tonight, Dean, take your ass out of bed and be there with your car at 7."
"What is that supposed to mean?" asks Dean who has finally finished his plates. He spots Cas' eggs and raises a questioning eyebrow, but Balthazar takes his attention away by responding:
"I mean if you spend the night awake with one of your many conquest and have to show her the door, or something like that."
"Okay, first, my "conquest" can be a he as well as a she, and second, my plans for tonight is to go to bed early, all alone, so that I'm up to driving tomorrow. No way I'm scratching my baby."
The new information explodes in Castiel's brain and proves too much for him to process. His restraint slips:
"We can take turns..."
Cas' voice is barely audible, he is aware, but still Dean hears him. The grimace he gets is all shade of funny:
"No offence, Castiel, I'm sure you're a good driver and all, but nobody other than me is getting behind that wheel."
"None taken. I just thought I'd offer."

He's mumbling now, angry at himself for daring to talk. He finally grabs his fork and stabs his food.
Dean pushes his chair and adds with a wink:
"You can be my copilot though. I'm sure Balthazar will be happy to get the back seat all to himself."
It's only when Dean is gone that Castiel realizes he is smiling like an idiot.


The advantage of anxiety is that it means Castiel is ready an hour early and thus doesn't get scolded by Balthazar. He's seating on his travelling bag, reading a book that for once is not on one of his courses' lists. Spring break has begun and the only stress that remains is seeing Dean, which is mixed with a pleasurable excitation. In the meantime, Balth is running around, leaving a mess that Cas knows is going to stay until they come back. He sighs but does not offer his help. He has learned quickly that Balthazar can take advantage of that. As fond of Cas ashe can be, and as nice as he is sometimes, Balth is, at his core, a selfish assbutt.

Dean's car slides into the parking lot and Castiels falls for him all over again. The Chevrolet (an Impala, Dean has informed them proudly) is as elegant as the antelope it got its name from, and clearly well-maintained. A rock song called "The eye of the tiger" is playing loudly and Dean is tapping his wheel to the rhythm. Strangely he's already wearing sunglasses even though dawn hasn't begun yet. His leather jacket is a novelty too. It's all Castiel can do not to gape.

Balthazar is chuckling as he opens the boot:
"Trying to impress us Dean? It's okay, we both know you're hot stuff."
Dean tries to look offended but the sunglasses hide most of his face. Castiel sits next to him with a strangling sensation in his stomach region. He wonders if he'll have to throw up later. He really hopes not.

"So, Cas, ready for the trip? I'm counting on you."
"I do believe so... I would not wish to disappoint you."
Dean's little smile at this must be because of Castiel's shyness. He is used to people mocking him but it's still hard to process. He fastens his belt in silence, eyes downcast.

"Dean...?" Balth asks.

"Dean...!"

"Dean! Do you have plans to drive this car at some point? 'Cause I don't want to walk to the cabin, you know?"
Castiel turns to Balthazar who is getting really agitated and catches Dean's mortified expression and red cheeks. He wonders what distracted him like that, but Dean just starts driving.

There's a ding in the back then Balth swears.
"Fuck... Okay, Dean you'll need to drive me to my folks first. My sister has used the letters "ASAP" and that means trouble for me."
"Okay, man, no problem. Where to?"

The mansion is as grandiose as Castiel imagined it. His roommate bolts from the car, asking Dean to keep the motor running, and promising a speedy return. So they wait and it's sweet torture:
"So, Cas, you've already been?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"To the cabin?"
"Oh, no, never. Apparently it's quite big."
"Yeah... People with two huge houses, I just can't... I mean, I didn't always have one home growing up."
Castiel tries to answer but he's sure that if he does, he'll be insensitive, or ridiculous, so he keeps his mouth shut.
Luckily his phone rings:
"Hey, Cas, I've got a problem."
"What is it?"
"My mother has given me an ultimatum. Either I go to Europe with her right now, or she stops paying for college."
"Oh no!"
"Yeah... I'm not a genius freak like you so no chance for a scholarship. I guess I'll have to obey. I'm so sorry."

Castiel is still trying to digest the news, when Balthazar asks to speak to Dean. He wonders if he will still see Dean during the vacation when he notices that Dean's eyes are wide open like saucers. He looks extremely uncomfortable, which is a look Casiel has never seen on him, and puts his hand on the side of the cell:
"Balth says we can still go, just the two of us. I... you want to?"
"I do not know. I guess I would not mind."
"Yeah, sure, let's do that."

Dean starts the car again. His voice is hollow and he looks haggard.
Castiel's heart sinks.