Piper doesn't do much or say much. But when she does, she asks questions.
It's not curiosity; it's an entrance into the pain she deserves. The entrance has no lock, so Piper can simply walk right in and endure all that the pain has to offer.
She asks everyone what they know about Alex's accident.
No one was there, no one heard. No one even knew where she was while they were in the SHU.
But everyone says that the last place Alex was seen was in the greenhouse.
So before work, Piper walks over, ready to analyse every bit of it to find any speck of how that day unfolded. She doesn't want to find anything, but she knows she deserves to. She tries to think like Alex. Tries to see it from her point of view. Nothing that Piper has done makes her deserving of her. And Piper knows that.
The entrance to the greenhouse lets out an ominous creak as Piper cautiously steps one foot in front of the other.
"Stay away." Alex is sitting on the floor, shovel in hand, eyes soaked with tears. She's in defensive mode. Her voice is worn and even huskier than usual, but instead of it coming across as erotic, it burns the air. It's painful to hear.
"Alex?" Piper is completely startled. She's looking around to see if anyone else is there, but it's just her and Alex.
"Don't hurt me." Alex says, terrified. She's genuinely afraid of Piper's presence.
"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you." Even more aware of her surroundings, Piper slowly creeps towards Alex with her hands up in the air "just put the shovel down Alex." Piper's chest is caving in, but she is trying to keep her composure for Alex. This is not what Piper expected to find.
"Kubra sent you didn't he?" The words are muffled by the sound of Alex's cries and Piper is only just able to make it out.
Piper scrunches her face, confused at the contents of the remark. "Kubra didn't send me Alex. Put the shovel down."
Alex throws the shovel with all the strength she has. It flops and lands right next to her with a loud thud that vibrates the floor. It took everything out of her, and the result was more than disappointing.
Alex shifts herself so that her back is against the wall. She cries silently with tears racing down her face and her mouth slightly open. She's completely out of control with her emotions. Her own body has chewed her up and spat her out, leaving her to suffer and absorb every ounce of pain being thrown at her.
Her joints still ache.
Bruises still hurt.
Eyes sting.
Chest shallow.
Paranoia peaking.
On instinct, Piper makes a slow, but direct path all the way next to Alex. She looks hesitant, but Piper takes a seat on the floor anyway.
"I'm not going to hurt you Alex" It comes out as a gentle whisper.
Piper can smell the distinct scent of hooch escaping Alex's mouth. The smell is strong and fresh, much like Alex's intoxication. "Come here Al"
Piper delicately laces Alex's hand with hers, using her other hand to gently guide Alex's head onto her shoulders.
She can feel Alex's turbulent crying pulse through her body. She doesn't know what to do to get Alex out of the hole she is in. It's deep and dark and it's the first time Piper's ever seen Alex in this kind of situation. It's like the blind leading the deaf. An utterly helpless situation.
Piper looks over to the floor, noticing the cherry wine coloured stain that lays on the timber slabs. She stares, trying to figure out why she never noticed it before. Then it clicks. It's Alex's blood. A whole faded pool of Alex's blood only a couple of feet away that looks like it's ready to strangle her to death. Piper gasps unwillingly and is sent through a whirlwind of panic. It grabs the wheel of her breathing and drives it off the edge of a cliff, plummeting down to meet her death.
The noises that Alex is making into Piper's shoulder are somehow loud enough to mask the sound of Piper's escalating breathing. She can't contain it. It's a forced eruption. A natural disaster. Only this doesn't feel natural at all.
Piper's starts drawing circles onto Alex's palm to try to distract her mind. Alex's hand sits loosely inside Piper's, shaking and tapping on the inside of Piper's fingers. Alex is her priority right now. She has to confront her own demons when the time is right. She keeps pushing the blood out of her mind, trying not to think about what went down that day. She can't think about it. Not now. She tries not to look at it, but it's so hard to look away.
Piper let's go of Alex's hand and shifts herself over so she is able to hold Alex in her arms. Alex's body can't even hold itself up, it just folds into Piper's and not long after, a small patch of Piper's shirt is soaked through with tears. Piper shuffles her head along side Alex's, making sure she is positioned so she cannot see the blood.
"Just breathe Alex. Nothing's going to hurt you. I promise. I'm here." Piper gets the words out without sounding too flustered, but each sound is a struggle to get out. Piper repeats the same words over and over for the next few minutes until Alex's breathing has returned to a relatively normal pace and all that's left is small jolting sniffles.
Alex untangles herself from Piper's arms and lifts herself up with a powerless moan.
"Hey, let me help you." Piper gets Alex's arms and tries to help but Alex shimmies herself out of them.
"I'm fine."
"You're not."
Alex looks up at Piper for the first time since Piper entered the greenhouse. Her eyes are glassy and frosted over with a red glaze. It's like they are an entry into the saddest book ever written, complete with a heartbreak you didn't know existed.
Piper thought Alex's composure would last more than it did. Holding onto Piper's eyes with hers, Alex let's everything crash and burn right onto the floor in front of her. It's the type of silent cry where everything is being pushed out at once, but there is no room for it all.
Alex leans forward, placing her head into Piper's lap. She viciously grinds her fingers through her hair and begins a rhythmic heaving when her tears don't allow her to breathe like she should.
Piper never tells Alex to stop crying. It's beyond that. It's not that simple. Piper wants nothing more than for her touch to be the cure. To be the drug. To be the rehabilitation that Alex needs. But the circumstances are all jumbled up. This isn't how it should be. Stroking the skin of a woman who hates your guts while she is emotionally distraught doesn't sound like a resolution. But Piper does what she thinks is best and that is to stay close enough to Alex that her demons can't fight her anymore. Alex is too weak to fight, and it breaks Piper into pieces.
"Make it stop Piper" Alex mumbles into Piper's leg. The words beat on her chest until she can't breathe anymore. She wants it all to stop.
Piper's trembling. She starts stroking Alex's hair at a more rapid pace in an effort to ease her pain, but in reality, she doesn't know what to do to help her. Her mouth stays partially open, twitching as words are about to drop out of her mouth, but are quickly reeled back in. The words aren't right. This whole situation isn't right. Alex isn't right. But Piper wants to make it right.
"Look at me Alex" Piper guides Alex's face up to hers, with both her hands on either side of Alex's face, holding her head up. She wipes the tears that still race down with her fingertips, gently pushing them aside and leaving her fingers there, in a method to block any more that decide to escape. "Nobody can hurt you now. You're safe with me. You're safe Al."
They stay still, locked into each others eyes for a few long moments. Alex doesn't believe she is safe from the words that Piper voiced. She believes it from what Piper's eyes are saying. There's something familiar about them. Something she's seen before. Something that's more comforting than any collaboration of words could ever be.
Without another word, Piper wraps her arms gently around Alex, pulling her in as close as she possibly can. Alex doesn't fight it. Instead, she does the same.
They both cherish the distinct scent that the other possesses. The way their exposed skin still carries the same softness that it always has. The way that no matter what terms they are on, everything still feels so right together.
"Thank you Piper" Alex whispers in Piper's ear, still wrapped in her arms.
"You don't need to thank me for anything." Several moments pass in which not a movement is made. The effects of breaking apart seem permanent and hauntingly sinister. But the muffled voices of inmates approaching the greenhouse rips them apart without any control. They sound further away than what they actually are and as Lolly opens the entrance to the greenhouse, she immediately trickles her eyes down to Alex and Piper who sit side by side on the floor.
"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Surprised, Lolly blocks the rest of the entrance with her hands pushed against either side, waiting for Alex and Pipers reply.
"We were just leaving Lolly" Piper whispers with just enough volume for Lolly to hear.
"Inmates, you are both out of bounds" moving Lolly's arm out of the way, an unfamiliar guard exposes himself.
Alex stays still. She just keeps staring, like she's waiting for the guard to make a move. In a moment like this, she has no poker face. Her expression screams pure fear and it feels like it's punching Piper right in the face. Piper keeps asking herself why Alex is so terrified of the guard. It doesn't make sense.
"Let's go Alex." Piper pushes herself off the floor and onto her feet with a hand out, indicating Alex to take a hold of it. But she doesn't. Her eyes don't move at all.
"Inmate, do we have a problem here? Get your ass up and out of here before I make you." The walls of the greenhouse vibrate with the volume of the guards voice. It's the kind of tone that makes you feel small and inferior.
"Alex" Piper retracts her hand and shifts it over to Alex back.
The guard starts walking closer with a mission to do this a quickly as possibly, not as kindly as possible.
"Get the fuck away from me." Alex scrambles, searching for the shovel she threw away earlier. It's out of reach, behind Piper and there's nothing to protect herself with.
"What did you just say to me inmate."
"She's getting up, just give her a second." Piper tries to keep her composure while she can feel her chest shrinking and her panic rising. "C'mon Alex"
"I said get the fuck away from me before I hit you in the fucking face." Alex looks straight through Piper to the guard that looks taken back by her remark. The other inmates stand and watch in a huddle from the door like it's a soap opera and it's on the verge of a cliffhanger.
The guard marches over and yanks Alex's arms to pull her up with no mercy. "Get the fuck off me." Alex throws her hands in all directions trying to shimmy out of his tight grip.
Piper tries to interfere, attempting to push herself between the guard and Alex but with the amount of force both are utilising, it's no use.
"Put her down. NOW" A familiar figure approaches from behind the guard and separates them grabbing both of their shirts. It's Mr Caputo. "Are you fucking serious? Are you deaf? Can't you remember what I told you? This is exactly what I told you not to do."
"This is her?" Out of breath and embarrassed, the guard takes a step away from Alex as she gets cradled in Piper's arms.
"The one that's still physically hurt. YES. That's her you moron."
"I'm sorry Mr Caputo."
"Yeah you should be. Go and get Rogers. Tell her to come here and don't you dare come back. I've already got a mess unfolding outside and your stupidity just added to it."
The inmates that were watching have now trickled away outside the view of Mr Caputo, leaving Alex to fall apart again. It's the same panic induced attack that she endured before. This place, the guard, the blood; it all rips open her wounds and rubs salt deep inside.
Piper holds her, scared that if she lets go Alex will tumble down the rabbit hole and never come back.
Mr Caputo just stands awkwardly in front of them, eyes on the door awaiting Rogers arrival. He has never been equipped to deal with this sort of trauma, and in this moment, it shows.
The second Rogers makes her way into the greenhouse, she knows why she is there without any exchange in words. Hesitantly, she walks over and sits next to Alex, still giving her enough space to breathe.
"Let's go Chapman." Mr Caputo curls his fingers towards himself, signalling Piper to follow him out of the greenhouse.
Piper doesn't want to leave Alex. Not like this. Berdie Rogers doesn't have a clue about the type of person Alex is. Rogers will try to tap into Alex's fears and reasons for this outburst in an effort to resolve it, but Alex won't give her what she wants. Alex has never been the type of person to sit down with someone she doesn't know and express her feelings. And today is no exception.
"She'll be ok" Rogers says sincerely, like she read Piper's mind. She genuinely sounds like she wants Alex to be ok as much as Piper does.
Piper slowly unravels herself from Alex, stroking her arm before she whispers in her ear "you'll be alright Alex." Piper completely disregards Rogers' words, despite how sincere they are. Her words don't matter. She wants Alex to hear it from her because she knows for a fact that she cares more for her than a prison counsellor. Alex looks up at her, still a little delusional as she is running from the burst of adrenaline and panic that was forced upon her without her control. She nods her head, barely making it visible. It's all she can really do to let Piper know that she can leave.
Flustered and frustrated, Piper walks out of the greenhouse to see a herd of commotion. She stops walking and observes the situation. It's loud and messy, to a point where Piper can't even make out who's arguing. But whoever it is, they are not holding back any bit of violence or anger.
"It was you wasn't it?" Piper jumps with the unexpected entrance of Red's voice close to her ear.
"What was me?"
"You were the rat."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Flaca got caught. Panties and all. About to head down to max as we speak."
Piper's mouth goes wide. She doesn't really believe it. The business isn't something she wants to associate herself with anymore but having it crumble that quickly after all the hard work in establishing it burns her skin. She can't imagine how Flaca must be feeling right now. "She got caught? How the.."
"You know, she genuinely needed the money. She wasn't out to get you. You're soulless Piper. You know, I've met a lot of horrible people in my life, and you're up there with the worst of them." Red scoffs, looking away from Piper. She races back to the memories of Piper's first day in prison where she was scared for her life because she insulted Red. And now she has no problem putting knives in the backs of people who didn't deserve it.
"Red, I promise you I didn't do this. I had no idea that this was even going on."
"So it was just this crazy coincidence that you weren't here when she got caught huh?"
"I was in the greenhouse Red. Why would I do this to Flaca?"
"You did it to Alex and to Stella and you really had no problem with it. I can't see any difference now."
"Red, I..."
"Chapman?" A detective looking male with a notebook and pen twiddling between his fingers approaches Piper and Red. He smells like old tobacco and sticks out like a sore thumb in the mosh pit of guards and inmates.
"Yeah I'm Chapman."
"I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me. I have some questions I need you to answer."
Author notes:
So what does this mean for Vauseman? Is it going to be a quick recovery back into the relationship they once had, or was this strictly an effort to comfort and nothing more?
The panty business is now being washed down the drain but who is the one to blame? How will Piper take the questions and will she let the truth be told?
Stay tuned for the next chapter! Enjoy
