//So sorry that this took forever!  But life has been so hectic lately…  Family squabbles and moving to college and new baby cousins and all that jazz…

Green Eyes:  They're fourteen, freshmen in high school, and we won't get to hear what Jack thinks in this story.  Maybe in a sequel… if I don't fall over the edge of the earth again.

Warning:  Hardcore slashiness, anyone?//

Nightmares and Reality: Caught and Fettered

Saturday.  A day of reprieve.  Ralph let out his breath in a sigh, nearly falling sideways in relief.  On a Saturday, far away from school and everything connected to it, it wasn't hard to believe in God.  It wasn't hard to believe in miracles.

School had gone sour very quickly.  Gym was hell, as to be expected, after-

Don't think about that now!

But there were only so many hallways to walk in, and a person could quickly find out where another's locker was.  Even outside of gym, outside of the locker room, he couldn't avoid Jack.  It was only a matter of time before Jack tried to sit with him at lunch.

He snickered suddenly.  It wasn't really funny, but the image of it!  He started laughing almost hysterically.

It wasn't funny, but he didn't have a lot to laugh about these days, so why not laugh over this?

Until it happens.

He wasn't laughing anymore.

A shiver ran up his spine.  He suddenly wished he hadn't elected to stay home, by himself, while his parents went out shopping and then to dinner.  He didn't want to be alone with his thoughts anymore.

As if in answer to his unspoken wish, the doorbell rang.

No!

He stared wildly at the door, suddenly afraid.  But that was stupid.  Jack didn't know where he lived- he was paranoid, projecting his fear and shame everywhere-

But he didn't believe that.

He could pretend he wasn't there.  It wasn't for him, anyway (it couldn't be, no matter what his goose bumps were telling him), and anyone for his parents would just come back another time, right?

Except it could be a package, or someone in trouble, or even a neighbor who had seen his parents leave that morning checking up on him. 

And it could not be Jack.

Sure he believed that.  So now he would go and answer the door.

He touched the knob, drew back again, took a deep breath, and finally pulled the door open, nearly flinging it back, to the surprise of the mail man.

"Er… a package?" the man said, sounding confused, giving Ralph a strange look.

"Sorry," Ralph said breathlessly, reaching for the box.  He quickly signed the form, relief making him weak.  See?  Nothing to worry about.

The bell rang again and he placed the package on a nearby table, opening the door with a considerably lighter heart, and felt that heart nearly jump out of his rib cage.

"Good morning, Ralph," Jack said easily, hopping through the doorway quickly.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Ralph stuttered, stepping back.  His instincts were to run, or scream, or maybe both.

Jack shut the door and looked at him calmly, ignoring his question.  He looked almost expressionless; there was just the tiniest hint of a predatory gleam in his eyes.  They stood there, in a silent tableau, for maybe a minute before Ralph jerked to the side almost convulsively.

Jack reached out and caught his arm, snarling, "Where are you going?"

Ralph yanked his arm back and swung his right arm around in a fist, but shock and fear had left his aim off.  Jack ducked it easily and threw himself forward, pushing Ralph back into the wall with enough force to knock the breath out of him.

This couldn't happen here.  Not at his home, not at his only sanctuary-

But Jack's mouth was on his again, and he was kissing back, because it wasn't in him to fight anymore.  He had known already that he couldn't win this fight; wasn't that why his dreams grew steadily darker, until he could barely bear to sleep?  Wasn't that why he waited for this, convincing himself only outwardly that he was safe here?  Because he couldn't win, because something in him didn't want to win.

And because this was finally the end of the hunt, and at last everything was finished.  He had lost and now he could let go.

Jack's mouth slid down to Ralph's throat, nipping delicately and then harder.  Ralph remembered dimly that he had to fight, for the forgiveness of those now gone and for the salvation of his own soul, but it was too late for that, wasn't it?

I'm sorry.

A hand under his shirt, burning hot against his skin.

I didn't mean it.

Hips driving hard against his own, lips sliding back up to reclaim his.

I couldn't stop it.

A harsh smile against his desperately pleading mouth, nails scratching down his back and a gentle, than rougher touch to his groin.

I never meant to let it go so far.

And then he was on his knees, those hands wrapped in his hair, mouth open and swallowing deep.

Forgive me.

Calloused hands brought him to his own release, and he cried out in pain and pleasure, in fear and acceptance.

I can't fight the beast, I can't fight my fear, I can't stop when he's chasing me, I don't want to be caught.

And he was held, not with care, but with possessive pride and an angry, hateful sort of joy.

I am caught.

//Review if you like, flame if you have to, blink in confusion if you just don't get it.//