[alternative summary]
When Alison DiLaurentis graduates from dolls, she moves on to people.
CHAPTER III
xoxo
[a pie a day keeps the boys away]
xoxo
{Hanna}
xoxo
Do you ever feel . . . Yucky inside? Just, like you aren't pretty? Or is it just me? Just me who looks in a mirror and hates what she sees, who smiles at a boy and feels fat, who . . . Isn't pretty? And then eats her pain?
It doesn't help. It's a terrible cycle, there's no end and it will always end in me not being pretty. I wish I could control it — then I could be pretty, like Ali D. Thin. I want that. I want to have that so badly. I want that voice in the back of my head to just shut up, just once.
You want me to buzz off, Han? Those numbers better drop.
I wish I knew how.
The store wreaks of perfume, it all blends and dominates and it's too much. I already don't want to be here, I want Mona to get back from getting that surprise already. This is where pretty, slim girls shop. And now it's where pretty, slim girls judge me. I hear the snickering and see the condescending (we learned that word in summer school, Dad wanted me to start using the words we learned) stares.
Bitches.
Skinny bitches, Han.
I hate them.
I hate that stupid little voice, too.
One of them walks over to me, emphasizing her hips (I think that's called a sashay or something), "God, Hefty, desperate much?"
My eyes burn. I look down, don't cry, don't cry. It hurts. It hurts so much, I just want to fit in. I just want to be thin. I just want that stupid voice to shut up.
"Leave her alone, Prudence, she didn't do crap to you." Wait. Is that Alison DiLaurentis' voice? No. It couldn't be. Why would Alison DiLaurentis ever stand up for me? Why would she stand up for Hefty Hanna? Why would anyone?
"S - sorry, Ali, I didn't know she was your friend - I - "
"Save it, Hun, I don't talk to wannabes so you might as well just go back to shoving a toothbrush down your throat and wishing your parents hadn't named you Prudence," Ali glowers, her arms crossed. I've never had someone stand up for me before, let alone the most popular girl in school. But here she is, bitching out Prudence Finn for me.
Prudence Finn who's hurrying off with her head bowed in shame.
"Wow. I've never had anyone stand up for me like that, thanks . . ." I mumble, trying not to sound stupid.
"It's okay, Hanna, anytime. Wanna help me pick out a skirt?" There's this gleam in her eyes and it's almost like someone is accepting me, someone besides "Loser Mona." That's what Ali calls her. But she's sweet, she eats lunch with me in the girls' bathroom. Ali would never want to be friends with Mona Vanderwaal. It's a miracle she's even talking to me! If . . . If Ali D. wants to be friends with me . . . I can't blow that. This could be the only chance I have at having friends. I'm not wasting it. Even if it means blowing off sweet, sweet Mona who's just as nerdy as me.
. . .
I want friends.
"Sure," I smile.
One glance back to see if Mona's back, I promise myself I can have one look and one look only. So I look. And she's there. And I can see how much it hurts her to see me walking off with Alison DiLaurentis.
. . .
But I still walk off with her. Because there's no way I'm giving up the chance to be Ali D.'s friend for Loser Mona. Not in a million years.
"Girls, meet Hanna Marin. I ran into her at my favorite shop - you know the one, Spence - " Spencer Hastings (as in, "natural born overachiever bred to win at everything because she's a flipping Hastings and that's what they do" Spencer Hastings who's at the top of our grade) nods, of course she knows the place though, it's a rich people shop " - and we started talking after I got Prudence Finn, that no boobs bitch, to leave her alone," Ali informs her friends. None of them look like they belong in Ali's group, the It Group (except for the only boy, he looks photoshopped, definitely someone Ali would hang out with).
One of them looks like a vampire, she's so pale. She has pink highlights so I guess she's . . . What's the word? . . . Eccentric, yeah, I think that's it. I mean, she's really pretty (despite the whole goth fashion sense), like a doll, but she doesn't look like someone who should be popular. I'm pretty sure the only time I've seen her, she's been reading, too.
The guy could be the poster boy for Abercrombie and Fitch if he has a six pack under that shirt, he's gorgeous. He's totally staring at Ali though. Not surprising but still heartbreaking.
There's a tan girl I don't think I've ever seen before. We must not run in the same circles. Whatever that actually means. Anyways, she looks athletic, really pretty, too. But, she looks so uncomfortable, like she's pretending she's something she's not. I mean, it could just be me reading into it too much (words I never thought I'd say) but . . .
And, of course, Spencer Hastings. She's always studying, I didn't even know she had a social life, I always figured she spent all her time overachieving and being perfect. Except in style, she always wears really preppy clothes, like she's going to a semi-formal dinner. My dad has those for work sometimes, well, he says they're semi-formal, they're not.
"Nice to meet you," Spencer smiles, reaching out to shake my hand, "I'm Spencer Hastings."
"Oh, I know. I've seen your name at the top of the honor roll and I think our dads golf together or something," I tell her.
"Wait, is your dad Tom Marin?" She asks.
"Yep, it's kinda weird hearing people call him Tom though," I force an awkward laugh.
"Yeah, yeah, our dads golf during summer," she smiles, the Hastings' smile. Of course. What other smile would a Hastings smile? Whoa, that sounds like a riddle or something.
"Is it normal for dads to golf?" The guy asks, "ah, whatever, Alex Montgomery at your service if your service involves me doing absolutely nothing." He mock bows. I laugh. Ali smiles, the pale girl tries to suppress her laughter, Spencer gives him a look that's ruined by the smile tugging at her lips, and the tan girl laughs loudly. It's strange. We all sort of share this moment where we're best friends but I've only just met them. At the same time, it's nice.
"I think it's a rich dads thing," the tan girl pipes up, "um, hi, I'm Emily Fields." She shakes my hand with a shy smile.
"Probably. We'd have to ask a rich dad though," the pale girl murmurs, "Aria Montgomery," she adds, awkwardly shaking my hand. Montgomery? So . . . They're siblings? Weird. They don't really look alike.
"Well, I'm not asking Mr. Hastings or Mr. DiLaurentis, they'd think it was weird," Alex points out, nudging Aria.
"We didn't ask you to ask either of them," Aria tells him, nudging him back.
"That's a first, Princess," he laughs, "besides, you were going to."
"We - okay, maybe," she admits.
"We were going to," Spencer deadpans.
"It would be embarrassing to do ourselves," Emily mumbles.
"Guys. Let's not talk about whether it is or isn't. We'll just go get lunch like normal people instead of obsessing over rich dads and gold," Ali snaps.
"Whatever you say, Sweetheart," Alex teases, faking a sneer.
"Please, we both know you'd jump off a cliff I told you to," she teases back. Wait. Are they flirting? Oh, my God, they are, aren't they?
"Only if there was porn at the bottom," he says in a dead serious voice. Silence drops. I gawk at him. Oh. My. God. He said that. He said that. Wow. He cracks a smile, laughing, "you should've seen the look on your face."
"You are such a perv," Ali laughs, shoving him.
"Seriously, not cool, Alex," Spencer says, awkwardly.
"Come on, it was funny," he chuckles, nudging her.
"It was - . . . Just a little," she sighs, "shut up, don't smile." She checks him. Oh. Is that just how he is with them? So, he and Ali weren't flirting? This is gonna take some getting used to, isn't it?
xoxo
{Alison}
xoxo
I link arms with the girls, sure to wind up in the center and sure to wink at Alex. What? He may be Ari's brother but I've seen her drooling over the stoner. How anyone could find Jason hot, I have no freaking clue.
Alex on the other hand . . .
Even Aria agrees he's "good looking," as she so awkwardly put it. I like that. Her awkwardness. It'll be fun to break that shell, I wanna see what's inside. And who cares if curiosity can be a bad thing? Curiosity may have killed the cat but bitchiness buried. She's my friend. "Bitchiness" is really just teasing. So it's not bitchy.
And maybe that's why I give Alex a subtle little smile when I catch him staring a little, and maybe that's why it asks, "like what you see?"
It's surprising, his reactions.
He winks. Quick. Simple. Gone.
And I know exactly what it means.
He smiles politely before he opens the double door to the restaurant. We walk in, giggling. It's just girls being girls with a cute boy to tease and flirt with.
Hanna's a hit, she's sweet and submissive (no, not in that way, get your mind out of the gutter). It's jokes and gossip and Alex rolling his eyes. Perfect. We get our seats and order (I warn Han not to eat too much, "careful, Sweetie, we don't want a repeat of Prudence and her little wannabe bitches") and everything is going perfect.
But then it isn't. Why? Two words: Loser Mona.
Maybe it's funny that she's seeing Hanna after I talked her into ditching the fugly bitch. I know it's not though. She's ruining my plan. Losers aren't part of the plan at all. Transforming these girls is going to be harder if old friends but in like this.
Hanna spots her. Her laughter dies out. Oh. Crap.
As if I didn't have enough to worry about with her coming home soon.
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