Once dad left, Ste gave me the all clear to come back into the room. He told me that dad had changed our rooms with a tone of voice that held no fire. No drive.
"You okay?" I asked.
"Yeah. Sure. Just tired." He sounded flat. "I'll find out what room you are in."
When he came off the phone to the reception desk, he turned to me, "411 and 412."
"Thanks." I made my way to the door then turned to face him. "I heard, by the way. You know. Your chat with dad."
His smile looked so forced that he shouldn't have bothered. "I figured."
"I'm not defending him or anything but he's not all bad." I said quietly while gripping the door open.
"Yeah, I know." He replied. "I wouldn't have gone with him in the first place if he was."
He took a step closer to me and cocked his head to one side while he bored his eyes into me.
He whispered. "You are so similar to him in many ways. Same eyes, for example. Same expressions."
"I guess. But I'm not really." I said. There were some things my dad and I had in common but there were others that made us total opposites. "I should go. Wish me luck."
"You won't need it. He'll just be relieved you are okay." He grinned. "Come over whenever you want, yeah. I know how your dad can get a little intense sometimes."
"Yeah. Thanks."
'.'/
Dad opened the door as soon as I knocked. I was faced with a room that looked identical to Ste's a few doors down.
"Declan." he said. His blue eyes, the same blue as mine, stared at me as if seeing a ghost.
"Dad."
Although I looked dead confident, with my back straight and hands in pockets, inside I felt really tense.
How angry was he?
I was shocked when I felt his arms wrap around me, his good hand clutching at the fabric of my t-shirt on my back, pulling me in. His chin settled onto my shoulder and I felt his breath on my neck, releasing a long sigh.
For a second, I just stood there, rigid until I relaxed and hugged him back.
"Don't ever do that again." He whispered. "You had me worried sick and your ma would kill me if anything happened."
"Sorry." I mumbled.
"You got my texts. The change of rooms."
I nodded but the truth was I still hadn't checked the content of his messages.
He pushed me to arm's length. He said nothing for a while just looked at me as if seeing me for the first time.
"You're creeping me out, dad." I said slowly.
"I forget sometimes... You are a man now."
"Yeah." I said puffing my chest out a bit.
"I promise things are going to change, son." He looked at me. "With me. But not overnight. Takes a while for a leopard to change its spots."
"Doesn't the saying go that it cannot ever change?" I challenged.
There was a twitch in his cheek and the look of a caged animal in his eyes.
"This one can." He said this with the same level of determination that ma did every time she said 'I will get in' at the swimming pool near home before bottling it at the last minute.
"Okay." I said doubtfully and looked at the crepe dressing on his left hand. "How's the hand?"
"Fine. I'll have this off by the morning." He wriggled his fingers. "You went to Animal Kingdom?"
"Yeah. Ste tell you?" I acted like I didn't know.
He looked down suddenly. "Yeah. Yeah. He did."
"Can I have this room, please?" I asked, taking in the family room.
ALL PART OF AN ILL-FORMED PLAN IN MY HEAD.
STEP 1- MAKE SURE DAD GETS THE DOUBLE.
"Um, yeah. Sure." Dad said.
"Why have we changed rooms, by the way?" I tested him, hoping that he would come out with the truth.
"I, uh, told reception about my accident with the bathroom mirror. It needed fixing. We were moved."
My heart dropped with disappointment at him LYING TO ME. I know he moved as a gesture to Ste. This leopard was not going to change his spots easily.
"Right." I muttered.
I shoved past him and went to my suitcase, pulling out a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that acted as my night clothes.
I stripped and got changed. "So what are we going to do tomorrow?" I asked.
"What do you fancy?" He replied.
"Dunno. Water World?" I said. I picked up the room's phone.
STEP 2-FORCE DAD AND STE TO MEET AGAIN.
"What are you doing?" Dad asked.
"Asking Ste if he and his kids want to come along." I said. There was a challenging note to my voice that said, 'Why? Have you got something to say about that?'
"Right." He said dragging the word out. "Bit late, isn't it? Might wake the kids up."
"It'll be okay." I dialled 408.
Ste picked up after one ring.
"Hello." He whispered.
"Ste. It's Declan."
"Oh, hiya mate!" He said quietly, then, "Everything okay?"
I looked over at dad. "Yeah. Yeah."
Dad walked through the door that led to the double room next door.
"I was wondering whether you wanted to come to the water park tomorrow." I spoke into the phone quietly, covering my mouth with my hand.
There was dead air for a while before Ste said, "As in me, my kids and you and your dad?"
"Yes, I mean, no." I said after a micro-hesitation. I glanced at the adjoining door making sure dad wasn't listening and dropped my voice further. "Just me."
"Then, okay." Ste sounded relieved.
We arranged to meet in the hotel lobby tomorrow and I ended the call.
STEP 2 DONE.
I crawled into the crisp white sheets of my bed, curled up and started to fret about how Dad and Ste were going to handle meeting each other again.
"You going to sleep?" Dad must have walked back into my room.
"Yep." I muttered as I turned to face him.
He had changed for bed too. The silence extended for so long that I thought that he was stroking out or something.
"So, uh, what... what did Stephen say... about tomorrow?" He asked eventually.
"Yes."
"He said yes?" He was surprised. His face broke into a broad genuine smile then he cleared his throat and acted like the news was neither here nor there.
"Dad, I am trying to sleep." I said turning away from him. "So 'night."
Bugger! I felt guilty. What if Ste freaked out and stormed off when he saw dad tomorrow?
"Night, little man."
'.'/
The next morning, after having breakfast and packing our swimming trunks, dad and I got to the hotel lobby at exactly 8.47am. I could tell that dad wanted to be early even though he didn't say so.
When 9 am came and went and there was no sign of Ste and his kids, he started pacing.
When 9.15 came and went I started getting anxious. Dad kept looking towards the lift. It would not have been obvious to a stranger but his jerky movements, shifting eyes and 'tache stroking were tell-tale signs of frayed nerves.
Finally, the lifts opened at 9.22 and Lucas and Leah came bouncing out gleefully, blabbering animatedly about a load of Disney characters that they wanted to see. Lucas was already in his swimming shorts and a sky blue t-shirt. Leah was in what must have been an all-in-one yellow swimming costume under a pink skirt with her hair in bunches.
Ste followed them out in his jean shorts, t-shirt and a large backpack. He looked worn out already. I guess getting two under-fives ready was a mammoth task.
When he spotted me he began apologising,
"Look Dec, I am so sorry we are late, Lucas decided to pee on his trousers and then..."
He looked to my left and stopped speaking midsentence. He saw dad and his jaw dropped. I honestly thought that he was about to walk off in anger but unfortunately for him, Leah came up to me with a huge grin on her face.
"Deccy!" She said loudly, "Hello!"
"Hi Leah." I said.
She hugged my legs and turned to Ste with a beaming smile. "Daddy, it's Deccy!"
Then she looked at dad and smiled shyly at him, waving at him tentatively.
"Shit." I saw Ste mouth under his breath.
HE WAS NOT HAPPY.
Leah was still looking at dad with a cute shy expression.
"Hi princess." Dad said and gave her a smile.
"Hello." She said before burying her face into my leg.
"What are you doing here?" Ste asked dad.
"We are going to Water World." Dad said.
"Oh."
I could practically hear their brains thinking... and then they turned to look at me with dagger eyes.
I should have felt bad but I didn't because it was time for STEP 3- MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. GET THEM TO GET ALONG AGAIN.
I ignored them both and instead picked Lucas up and spoke to him and Leah.
I grinned slyly and said, "Are you guys ready to get totally drenched in water? Like soaking?"
Leah nodded shyly and Lucas shouted,
"Water!"
"Yeah! Cool. So am I!" I said and the three of us made our way out of the hotel entrance.
I knew I left dad and Ste with little choice but to follow.
RESULT!
'.'/
WATER WORLD WAS BRILLIANT!
Some of the waterslides were so long that I nearly freaked out that there might not be an end at one point!
Through all the fun, however, I noticed very early on that dad and Ste barely talked. The atmosphere was uncomfortable.
Even though they had probably exchanged a maximum of two words by mid-afternoon they were still constantly looking at each other. Actually, honestly, I would call it PERVING. SERIOUSLY. But not the way Aiden did when checking out the girl's netball team with his tongue hanging out and drooling almost. It was more like how I would glance at Aoife for a split second during our drama group when she wore that top that was a bit see through in the right light. SUBTLE, like.
That is how Ste and dad were. I don't think they even knew that the other was staring but I did because I was perceptive like that.
Anyway, the point is they were not talking to each other. In fact, they were communicating almost entirely through us kids. In the afternoon, it reached a head after we all emerged from a swim in Typhoon Lagoon. We soaked up the Florida sun in our swimming clothes while water dripped from our bodies. The five of us were in a loose circle near the edge of the water.
Ste silently rubbed a fresh layer of factor 25 sun block onto his squirming kids' skin and then straightened up.
"What do you want to do next, Shark Reef or Surf Pool?" He asked me.
"Shark Reef, for sure." I said as I caught the sunscreen bottle that he chucked at me and began applying it to my chest and arms.
Dad said to me,
"Lucas, Leah and me will check out Ketchakiddee Creek then. We will go on all the kiddie waterslides, won't we guys?" He turned to Leah who had totally taken a shine to him and was hanging onto every word he said.
"Yes." She said emphatically and grabbed his hand.
Ste planted a kiss on Leah's forehead and ruffled Lucas's hair. "Okay, have fun and be good. I'll see you two in two hours."
He deliberately excluded dad from his address.
Dad said to the kids, "Don't you guys want to see Declan and your dad sooner? Like in one hour?"
Leah and Lucas nodded in unison.
Ste said to them, "Don't you want to spend lots of time on the waterslides and go whoosh! You would need more than an hour."
Again they nodded.
"But if we all meet up in ONE hour, then we can all have some ice cream together. How does that sound?" Dad asked them.
"Ice cream!" Lucas shouted happily and clapped his hands together.
Ste looked sharply at dad then turned to his kids, "You know you don't get to have ice cream before having proper food first. I think Brendan forgot."
Dad grinned icily, "I think your daddy has forgotten that this is a holiday and we are all here to have fun."
"I think Brendan has forgotten the nightmare of taking care of young children with a sugar rush." Ste said angrily.
"No. Brendan hasn't forgotten!" Dad hissed. "But it seems your dad has forgotten that I also raised two kids of my own. I know what I am doing."
Leah and Lucas looked confused.
Dad and Ste stared off angrily.
I looked in horror at what looked like a proper fight in the making.
MY ILL-CONCEIVED PLAN WAS CRUMBLING.
"Daddy?" Leah said in a small pinched voice. "Can we go to the kiddie slides with Deccy, please?"
"You don't want to go with Brendan?" Ste asked with a self-satisfied smile.
Leah shook her head.
"I'll go with you then." He said to her.
"No. I want Deccy." She insisted.
I smiled. Smart kid that Leah. She could sense bad vibes from her dad and mine and didn't want to be anywhere near them. And she lead me straight to STEP 4.
STEP 4- GET DAD AND STE TO HAVE SOME ALONE TIME.
I said, "It's cool. Leah, Lucas and I will have a blast. You guys have fun while we tear up Ketchakiddee Creek."
Ste looked over at Brendan, "Uh. No! I don't want to go anywhere with him!"
"That's mature." Dad said sarcastically. Then he said, "I think you have made it pretty clear that you would rather be anywhere else, Stephen." He grabbed a towel and rubbed it through his hair. "Why let me ruin your fun here? You want to do Shark Reef? I'll stay out of your way. You swim with those sharks, cowboy."
Ste looked at him cautiously. He licked his lips slowly as he stared at dad as if considering his options. His eye line fell on the crucifix tattoo dad had on his upper arm, near his shoulder.
"I, um, it's okay." Ste said. "Whatever. We can go together. But don't think, you know... It's just for convenience, yeah...?"
His voice faded to nothing.
Dad looked him up and down with hooded, unhurried eyes.
LIKE A SEX PEST! YEP, MY DAD! SO GROSS!
"Yeah, 'course. Convenience. Sure."
"Yeah." Ste said and swallowed nervously. "Convenience."
He turned to me. "You going to be okay with these little guys?"
"Yes. After Paraic, this is going to be a walk in the park." I smiled as I held one kid in each hand.
"Okay, see you in a bit." Dad said. "And don't lose sight of them, Dec."
"I won't."
Dad and Ste headed towards the shark tank, while keeping more than a metre distance between them. It was like they were repelling each other.
This was not going as well as I'd hoped.
'.'/
Just over an hour later, they turned up at Ketchakiddee Creek.
"How were the sharks?" I asked from my sun lounger. Leah was splashing around with some other kids in a supervised shallow pool two yards away from me and Lucas was sitting between my legs, constructing something with Lego bricks.
"Yeah, good." Dad said and then looked over at Ste who nodded his agreement.
Leah ran towards us once she spotted that her dad and mine were back.
First thing I noticed? They were much closer to each other physically, like they had broken down that barrier they had built up.
Second thing I noticed? Ste was already darker than he had appeared this morning. He tanned easily.
I turned to look at dad then lowered my sunglasses over my eyes and shielded them with a hand. Then I said,
"Dad, you are so pale you are blinding me!"
"Funny!" He said with a smile and threw a towel at me.
"Actually, he's right, you do look kind of pale, Bren." Ste said with a twinkle in his eye.
Hang on; were they actually talking to each other?
"Hey!" Dad said to Ste with a grin. He glanced at Leah, "Do you agree? You think I'm pale?"
He showed her his white skin and she nodded sombrely.
"Yeah." Leah said. "Like a ghost."
Ste and I started laughing.
"Oh my God!" Dad said and clutched his chest as if he had just been shot. "You too, Leah? I thought you were my friend!"
She giggled shyly, covering her mouth with both hands.
"I am!" She said.
Ste was looking over at dad.
That is when I figured that adult relationships were seriously complicated because on the one hand, I could tell that he was still being cautious around dad. On the other hand, when he thought no one was looking, Ste looked at dad as if he wouldn't notice if everything else completely faded away forever leaving them alone in this world.
'.'/
By the time we got back to the hotel, everyone was exhausted. We went up the lifts together to the fourth floor.
While saying our goodbyes, before going to our respective rooms, we heard an out of breath,
"Stephen!"
I looked across to the stairwell to see the hotel's concierge running towards us.
Ste's smile was confused as the hotel staff member drew to a stop near us. "Hi, Greg. Alright?"
"Hi. Yeah. I'm fine."
Dad looked at Ste closely when it was obvious Ste and Greg knew each other from a previous encounter. Then he stared Greg down like a scientist about to perform animal dissection. I could see his eyes picking on every part of the concierge.
This Greg guy was probably a little older than Ste, like maybe mid-twenties. Dark brown hair with a cool cut. Brown eyes. A slightly cocky look like he was someone who probably hasn't heard 'no' said to him much. Smart uniform. He looked like he worked out. I could see the beginnings of a black tattoo on his left wrist.
In short, he looked like the kind of guy Siobhan and Freddie would go a little crazy over.
Dad moved imperceptibly so that you could have sworn he was slightly shielding Ste from this bloke.
"Hi." Greg was smiling like an eejit as he looked at Ste.
Ste frowned but with an amused look. "You said that already!"
Dad stuck his face in Greg's and said bluntly, "Can we help you?"
"Um, no sir. You can't. I was looking for Ste."
"Ste?" Dad raised an eyebrow.
"Mr. Hay." Greg corrected himself.
"Ste's fine." Ste said.
"You mean Stephen here. One of the hotel's guests." Dad emphasised 'guests'.
I wasn't the only one to detect jealousy in his tone. Ste looked over at him and smiled slightly while shaking his head.
"Yes. I, um, I was wondering whether you still needed the Discman? I mean, it is fine if you do. You know, whatever. You can give it back whenever." Greg said as he looked cautiously at dad.
"If you really need it I can give it back now." Ste said while dad looked between him and Greg. "Come to my room. I'll get it for you."
I swear Dad was grinding his teeth.
Greg cleared his throat and his grin broadened even more. "Yeah sure. That sounds-"
"He doesn't need to go to your room with you, Stephen!" Dad ground out furiously.
Ste was taken aback.
Dad looked at Greg. "And next time, Mr. I-can-never-do-too-much-for-you, you can call up to the room if you want your Walkman back. A personal appearance isn't necessary."
"Discman." Greg said quietly.
"Whatever." Dad said.
Greg looked at Ste and said, "Guess I should go. I'll talk to you later."
Ste nodded slightly.
Greg gave dad a parting death glare before walking off.
Dad shouted at his retreating form. "I don't think so, ye chancer!"
Once Greg was out of sight, Ste spoke to me with a calm voice that was kind of eerie,
"Would you mind watching the kids for a few minutes? I need to speak with your dad."
"Yeah, sure." I said nervously as I took the kids into my room.
Ste and dad went into dad's room next door.
"What was that about?" Ste sounded annoyed as I heard him through the door and wall that separated our rooms.
It felt like all I did was eavesdrop on conversations since coming to see dad.
"Jesus, Stephen! Couldn't you see that he was trying to get into your pants?"
"He wasn't. And even if he was what does it matter to you?"
Dad grunted.
"You can't have it both ways, Bren. You don't have a right to be jealous." Ste said. "It is called possession. Let me explain it to you. I belong to you and you belong to me. Nobody would try it on with me in front of you if they knew there was something going on between us."
Dad grunted again. "So what are you saying? That you are fair game? Available?"
"I am saying that Greg won't be the only one to think I am single on this trip with the way you act around me."
"And what was today then?" Dad asked.
I wouldn't say that he had changed his spots and I know that he hadn't exactly acknowledged their relationship in public but seriously,
I THINK DAD WAS TRYING.
Why couldn't Ste see that and cut him some slack?
"Clearly not nearly enough." Ste said.
The door connecting the two rooms suddenly flung open and Ste walked in and got his kids. He gave me a tense smile and walked off without a further word.
