Hey guys, sorry this took a little while but the 4th chapter is finally here! I hope it was worth the wait! By the way, remember I said no angst so this might get a little sappy. I love happy Caskett times. Especially with the Squab and the Quail promo. I'm so mad, I can't even explain it! But yeah, this was to distract me.
Disclaimer: Nope. Still not mine! Andrew Marlowe, I swear to whomever it is up there that if you hurt Caskett, I will hurt you.
She lifted her head from where it had drifted to rest in his shoulder. Her mother's case? What did he mean? How could he know anything that she didn't know?
"What about it?" She asked cautiously. She was still on his lap but she moved her hands from around his shoulders to intertwine their fingers. He looked down and their joined hands and took a deep breath.
She'd never seen him quite so pensive. His brow furrowed as she watched the play of emotions drift across his features. She honestly had no idea what to expect. Was he about to say something that would change her mind?
No.
Nothing he could say to her would change her mind about this. About them. Now that she'd crossed that line and felt what it was like to just hold his hand and feel his lips move against hers, she couldn't get enough. It had been hard enough to keep her hands to herself in the precinct.
It was more than that though. He was... Him.
No one had ever been there for her quite like he had. No one had ever taken the time to get to know her like he had. She had pushed him away relentlessly, gave him absolutely no hope of anything ever happening between them and still, he stuck around. He watched her blatantly ignore the chemistry and attraction between them and start relationships with other men. Thinking about it now, he probably went through hell during those times when she left him to go home to one of her boyfriends. Could she even call them that? She knew those relationships would never go anywhere and she made sure that she always kept one foot out the door, ready to bolt. But he never left.
If she was being completely honest with herself, if one of them had ever come between her and Castle, she would have chosen him every single time. Castle that is. She told them, both Tom and Josh, that he was just a colleague, that he was her partner and nothing more. She was trying to convince herself as much as them of that.
He knew everything about her. Well, as much as she'd been willing to share throughout all those years. He always seemed to know what to say or how to approach the subject to pull her heart strings and make her share. She liked to share. She never wanted too and always felt like he was pushing too hard but after telling him what it was that was on her mind she felt better, weightless even. Like a huge burden was lifted off her shoulders. It was good for her to talk. She'd never initiate it but he was always there to make sure she did it anyway. She loved that he pushed her limits sometimes. It was for her own good.
He saved her life and she did the same countless times. Over the years she had come to appreciate his presence with her in the field. She knew she could count on him to never let anything happen to her. Really, it should have been the other way around but it was their routine. It was them.
She probably put him through hell when she left last summer. After her near death, she needed an out. She needed to recover, alone. Well, as alone as she could afford to be. That included her dad only. However, the admission of his feelings in the cemetery did play a part in getting her back on her feet.
Kate, I love you. I love you Kate.
Get up. He loves me.
Walk to the kitchen. He loves me.
Eat something. He loves me.
Sleep. He loves me.
She repeated those lines to herself to get through each day.
After three months of no returned calls and isolation, she came back with only a brief explanation and an offer to come back and join her on the force. He forgave her in a heartbeat and accompanied her back to the precinct. That might have had something to do with him confessing his love to her. Sometimes, love made you do stupid things, they said. She took advantage of it that day, hoping it hadn't faded. Hoping that he hadn't changed his mind over their summer apart. Luckily he hadn't and he stuck around. He came back.
And just now, she had admitted that she had been lying to him. He just set it aside and comforted her when he should have been the one who was devastated. He still didn't get mad.
He'd promised her always and he had kept that promise. She was now ready to accept it.
In that moment, Kate realized what really mattered to her. She would always love her mother; that would never change. But right now, he was all that mattered. It didn't matter what he told her about her mother's case. It didn't matter if he had any new leads. She wouldn't pursue them. It wasn't worth it. She couldn't believe that it had taken her this long to come to this conclusion. But she had. And that was all that mattered right? It had to be. So she told him so. Unable to keep her feelings bottled in. Whatever it was that he was about to tell her, he looked pretty shaken by it. She could tell that it was eating away at him. She didn't want to see him suffer any more. Didn't want him to doubt her. He had every reason too. But she wanted to that to change. Change his mind about her.
"Castle... " He didn't look up from their joined hands.
"Castle look at me," he tried again, voice soft. She took his face between her hands and cradled his cheeks in her palms.
"Tell me if you really want to. But I promise... I promise it won't change anything between us. I won't let it. We've waited long enough for this. I'm ready Castle. I'm ready to let it all go. I want to live for today and for tomorrow. Not for yesterday. God that sounds so cheesy, but it's true. That's what I've been doing for the last four years. Ignoring what was right there in front of me, which would be you, because I was still caught up with what destroyed me back then. I promise, I won't let whatever you're about to tell me come between us. Trust me, okay?" She looked him in the eyes the whole time. He looked back at her with a sense of wonder and she could see the sparkle was back in his deep blue eyes.
He raised one of his hands and gently placed it on one of her cheeks. He stroked his thumb as if to feel the softness of her skin. He tucked a stand of her hair behind her ear and closed the distance between them. His lips brushed hers softly and it was meant to be a heartwarming action, one made to comfort both of them. He kept the contact light, shaking his head so that their lips brushed intimately. It was almost too much for her. The intimacy and love conveyed through the action almost brought her to tears.
When he stopped, a few seconds later he spoke again, determined to get it all out.
"I've been looking into your mother's case." He began slowly to see if she would say anything. He looked up and saw that her eyes where closed and she seemed a little breathless. He continued. "After you... After the incident in the cemetery, someone gave me some information about your mother's killer and the man who shot you." He stopped for a second as if to assess her reaction. When she didn't say anything he continued. "Kate, I just wanted to keep you safe. They told me that if you didn't see any of it they'd leave you alone. So I kept it from you, but I couldn't just let them get away with this. Not the men that took so much from you. You never deserved any of it and you sure as hell deserve closure. So I figured if I could find them, then maybe you would be whole again, or closer to where you wanted to be any way. And then maybe we... I'm so sorry Kate. You have to understand, keeping you safe is all that matters to me. I get it you don't want me any-"
He was cut off by her lips. They were fierce and demanding on his. He responded instantly and ran his hands through her luscious brown locks. She took control and he felt her tongue demanding entry to his mouth. He gave in instantly and tangled his tongue around hers.
She had to stop him from talking somehow and she had figured that her lips might have done the trick. She had been right of course. She would never get enough if him. She felt the butterflies in her stomach flutter towards her abdomen. The need for him took over and she just needed the contact.
Her hands made their way to the front of his shirt and slowly started unbuttoning it, one button at a time.
She could feel just how affected he was by her as her hips brush against his. He had the same effect on her. She felt Castle shift beneath her and she looked up.
"Not here," he said simply and gathered her into his arms. She giggled in surprise but only held on tighter, wrapping her arms around his head. She actually giggled. Kate Beckett didn't giggle. Well, Richard Castle did bring out the best in her. Maybe things would change now. For the better she hoped. He carried her across the loft, through his office and into his bedroom.
Castle set her down gently on the bed but she never let go, only pulled him down with her. He trailed kisses up her arm and into her neck. Kate bit her lip as he sucked on her pulse point but couldn't quite contain the moan that escaped her lips. She turned her head to give him better access.
He kissed down and looked up at her slowly. His hands brush her sides as he lifted the hem if her shirt. She smiled and he lifted the garment to unveil her upper body covered only by her bra. He brushed the hair away from her face and caressed her sides. He continued his journey with his lips down her sternum and lightly kissed the scar between her breasts. She threaded her fingers through his hair and moaned again.
"Castle..." She said a little breathless. He was on her mouth in an instant. His lips caressed hers with a passion she had never experience before. Perhaps it was more than passion. She knew it was. It was pure and unconditional love. She felt it radiating off of him in waves. He broke their kiss but kept their lips very close. "I love you, Kate. I never stopped."
She smiled and kissed again.
"I love you too Castle. Always."
With that, he took her lips and went on to show her how much they both had had no idea what they had been missing out on for the last four years.
A/N: I was thinking of ending it there! I hope you guys enjoyed itand that it lived up to your expectations. I will probably start a new fic that will follow this one so if you really liked it and would like this story to continue then, by all means, follow my next story. This however, could be a plausible ending. I cannot thank you all enough for your support! Thank you to every single one of you! You make my day brighter.
