Elena POV

Surprise


Is there any light in this world to overshadow the darkness? Anything? Any glimmer of hope? Where is the sunshine? Where is the peace? What is this cruel world of supernatural beings where we are forced to die, barely adults?

She's not just a girl that died. Not somebody I knew that I can say a few words and remember. No she's not that.

This is my best friend, my dearest friend I love more than anything. A friend who was willing to do anything for me, a friend that did do everything for me. A friend that sacrificed her own life to save my brother.

Bonnie.

I couldn't get my head round it, I fled from the room when Jeremy had explained everything. This couldn't be real? This is not real. Bonnie can't be dead. This is all a horrible dream, a nightmare.

Is it that I'm only entitled to a certain portion of happiness, yes world, give me my brother back but then rip my best friend away? Why is there never a balance?

But that's exactly the problem, how stupid am I not to realise it?

There is a balance. Bonnie brought Jeremy back to life and the consequences for doing that was killing herself in the process. There had to be a sacrifice.

How am I supposed to tell Caroline this? What about her dad, her mom? They'll want to know why their daughter isn't around anymore. The mayor, her dad he'll want to know why she doesn't come home anymore, why she isn't here for college. I just sat in the chair in front of the fire crying. Well crying is an understatement because realistically it was more hysterical sobs. I just can't take any more pain in my life, I'm already broken. I cannot deal with it, I just can't cope. Damon made me a hot drink and sat by me, holding me tightly, muttering awkward words. My head was killing me, the part of me that didn't want to feel anything was pulsing and vibrating loudly in my head. Oh how much I craved it, how much I desired it, how much I ached to give in, to just surrender and not have to feel anything. But I didn't, it's a cop out.

Humanity is a vampire's greatest weakness and I'm no exception. I can try and fight it all I like but eventually it always finds a way to crawl back in.

I miss her already, I miss her so much. I think apart of me always knew she was going to end up dead and I felt so wretched inside. How we always relied on her to do spells, how it was just expected she never really had a choice. We were all guilty of it.

There has to be a way to get her back, because I just can't accept that she's really gone this time, she has to be out there somewhere, she has to come back. Somehow.

I don't know how long I slept but it felt like days because when I awoke my muscles ached and my throat was burning. I groped the sheets to try and find Damon but he wasn't there, god where was he?

I slowly got up and out of bed and saw a fluttering piece of paper on the bedside table. I don't know what, but it made me feel nervous as I gently picked it up and unfolded the little white note.

It read:

Dearest Elena

Do you remember me? I'm sure you do. Just look in the mirror and you'll see me.

You can't hide because I will find you, you can't run because I promise I will be faster.

But I am coming for you Elena and this time I will not fail.

Kiss kiss

I felt my insides tense as I slowly placed the note back on the table. It felt like my heart had frozen and there was bile in my throat.

Katherine, she was coming for me. And she had been here, or knowing her probably sent somebody to deliver her message.

Katherine had been the last of my worries, I figured she was human and she was out of our lives for good. How could I have been so stupid? I hadn't told anybody that I had given her the cure, not even Damon. I wanted everybody to be happy for a change and to not worry all the time.

I would have eventually told them but I didn't plan on doing it just now. How could I have been so stupid and naïve? Of course Katherine Pierce wouldn't just disperse, disappear and go on and live a happy human life.

Had the cure even worked? She said she would be faster than me.

I wasn't scared of Katherine but it was just another bridge I'd have to cross and I just didn't have the fight left in me anymore. I was too tired and too sick of fighting. Sometimes I felt like I just wanted to disappear.

I suddenly felt cold and that was impossible in itself because vampires didn't feel cold but at this moment I did. I felt numb and I felt cold. I wanted Bonnie, and I know I shouldn't but I wanted Stefan. For just a moment I wanted his strong arms around me in a warm embrace. I wanted him to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

I hadn't seen him for weeks and I missed him. I missed his face, his voice, his advice. I just wanted him to come back but I know I was being unreasonable.

I couldn't have both brothers.

But I could have him as a friend, why wouldn't he even come back and be my friend?

I realised that was too selfish of me to expect of him. I had chosen what I wanted and I could not be selfish anymore.

He needed time, time away, time to heal and if he needed weeks, maybe even years I would respect that. I was telling myself this but I knew I was going to go out and find him soon because I just needed his company and his wise words. I knew he'd be able to help me.

And then I just decided to go and do what I wanted, I got dressed, brushed my hair and went to try and find Stefan but as soon as I walked out of the front door I collapsed on the porch and burst into tears.

Where would I possibly look? Where would he be?

Stefan I need you I shouted in my head.

Damon found me sometime later and sighed before sitting next to me and pulling me close.

'Everything will be okay Elena' he assured me

'No it won't' I cried 'nothing is ever okay for me' I felt like such a baby sitting there crying but I just couldn't put on the brave face anymore. There was too much pain in my heart.

After the tears had subsided he tilted my chin up and kissed me fiercly

'I love you Elena' he said 'and I'll never leave you'

'I love you' I whispered back against his lips.

'Maybe she'll come back, you never know Elena'

I nodded; hope was the only thing I had left.

'Where is Stefan? Damon where is he?' I asked quietly and his liquid eyes locked with mine.

'I'm kissing you and you're thinking about my brother?' he questioned raising his eyebrows.

'No' I sighed 'not like that, I just want to know where he is, I still care about him Damon' I answered truthfully.

'I know you do' he said and his eyes pulled away for just a moment and he gazed ahead. After a few moments he hung his head 'I don't know where he is Elena, this isn't like him, and he doesn't just take off unexpectedly'

'Do you think he's in trouble?' I asked in a murmur, terrified at the possible thought.

'I don't know, but I think it's about time we went to find him'

'I don't know if he'd like that' I answered but I did want to go and find him. I needed to make sure he was okay.

'Find who?' a voice said and me and Damon both looked up immediately. There he was, tall and lean.

It was Stefan…