Her first thought when she saw his face was "everything about this is wrong."

Not "oh my god," or "it's you," or, the ever-dramatic "I still love you."

Everything about it was wrong.

It was probably the poet that lived in a cramped her speaking, but she had never truly ruled Arnold out of the equation entirely. She had imagined them re-meeting many times. It was a thought more often had in Middle School than recently, but a thought she still had.

She imagined him, a short but hardy researcher, returned to his New York City apartment, at a bar, drinking away the woes of having a useless assistant his good-natured heart couldn't bring itself to fire. She imagined her, an author who never really thought she'd be anything, suddenly a something, ditching the snooty launch party of soon-to-be best seller, to some dive bar to get manhattans with her best friend, where else, in Manhattan.

The logistics changed every time, but the heart of the story was ever-green.

Him, a single dad with a dead wife and an amazing son, returned to their childhood town. Her, with her childhood home to her name and not much else, returned to find herself. Him, a jaded man, enlisting in the army, college seeming futile. Her, the girl he looks for before he goes. Him, a humble volunteer firefighter. Her, a librarian with time for nothing but him and Cummings. Him, a school teacher. Her, a mother.

Her hair should have been up. It maybe shouldn't have been in childhood pigtails, but it should have been up. She shouldn't ironically be wearing her hat for the store backwards, so she could make of Sid when he came back with Lila. It should have had a bow in it, maybe not the way it used to, but a bow somewhere.

She should have been wearing something pink.

She should have had on shoes with no holes, she owned some.

Her hair should be shorter. She shouldn't have been leaned over, hugging the register like it was a child, just exhausted. She shouldn't have so many hair ties on her wrist. Her mascara shouldn't have clumped up that morning. She shouldn't have been wearing leggings.

She had imagined this many times.

Never once had it featured leggings.

He should have been wearing plaid. He should have been wearing a baseball cap, maybe one that wasn't comically small, but a cap. He should have been wearing anything other than the grey henley he was wearing.

He wasn't supposed to be that tall. He wasn't supposed to be tan. He wasn't supposed to have lost his large, innocent eyes, traded them in for ones that looked like he had premature smile lines already carved into his skin. He wasn't supposed to be wearing a worn, brown leather watch with a silver face, or have his sleeves rolled up slightly too far. He shouldn't have had his hands in his pockets, his posture shouldn't have been so confident.

She couldn't remember what she had really wanted his face to look like, but it wasn't the grin he had while staring at her now.

They were supposed to lock eyes again for the first time at the same time. They were supposed to re-meet suddenly all too aware of how equal they were. How alike they were. How different they were. It didn't matter the setting: a bar, a schoolyard, a street in Hillwood. It was always the same, regardless: they were supposed to see each other at the same time.

It wasn't meant to happen the way it did.


cass 3:09

you're telling me lila just dragged sid

our sid

outside

with no explanation or warning

helga 3:09

bingo

cass 3:09

it sounds like something out of 9th grade sid's wet dreams

Helga snorted as the door bell rang, and she leaned over the register a little bit more, to hide her cellphone from the customer better. She hunched in a little farther, trying to type out a response while the timing was right while still greeting her guest.

"Hey there!" Helga said cheerily, eyes glued on her phone, attempting to type a sentence with one hand, other wrapped around the register for support. She could hear that the guest hadn't moved, that they were standing in one spot. That was usually an indication that they had no idea how the shop worked. She could practically feel their gaze on her cheek. She finished her text anyway.

helga 3:10

or 9th grade helga's.

"Welcome to YoTastic, it's an entirely self serve system, the machines are down there, but let me know if I can help yo-" She slid her phone shut, looking up at the guest who had just walked into the store.

She shouldn't have dropped her cell phone.

He shouldn't have laughed about it.

Helga realized in that moment that in this life there are things you'll never get a second chance at doing.

But somewhere, somewhere small, in the very back of her mind: she knew that in this life, there were things you did get second chances at.

The place in her mind where that thought lived was probably next door neighbors with the little spot where she remembered how Arnold used to look at her like she was the answer to a question he hadn't even asked yet.

And there he was, laughing at her before they even spoke.

Everything about it was wrong.


"Do we go in," Sid asked as they stared through the window.

"No."

"Should we leave?"

"No."

"Should I text her."

"No."

"Do we just stand here and stare at them until one of them notices us."

"No!"

"Well, for fuck's sakes, Lila, what are we supposed to do? Turn into lizards and run off to live in Mexico featuring very George Lopez-esque comedic stylings?"
"…what?"

"Well, Sid, on that note," a new voice added to their conversation, "as much as I am touched, really I am," Sid was ready to bash his head into the pavement "by this little Middle School reunion," Rhonda was definitely wearing more perfume than she was the last time he had seen her, like, fifteen minutes ago, "I am far more interested by the one in there."

And with that, Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd had appeared from nowhere, pushed in between them, and ceremoniously swung the shop door open to all but twirl inside.

"Why turn into lizards when we already know a snake." Lila muttered.

Sid was still trying to grasp the fact that the last twenty minutes had happened, and more-so, happened to him.

The 12 year old in him was screaming.

The 18 year old in him really kind of just wanted to take a nap.


Helga would like to add at that point, that never once had these visions of her and Arnold reconnecting featured Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd.

"Arnold!" Helga knew her voice wasn't that high pitched. She also wasn't that much of an expressive person, but Helga watched Rhonda fling open her arms anyway, making a squealing noise. "It's me, Rhonda!"

"I know," Arnold said with a grin, walking a few steps to hug her.

They had never featured Rhonda and Arnold hugging before Arnold even spoke to Helga, either.

"When did you get in," Rhonda said in the hug, squeezing him agressively, "this is so crazy!"

Helga had just noticed that Sid and Lila were wallflowers by the door, standing just barely inside the shop.

Sid was grimacing.

Helga only then realized that this was what everyone was trying to tell her all day.

Lila was staring at her apologetically.

"Some warning," Helga remembered her saying this morning. "It's always nice."

Warning indeed.

"Uh, about six hours ago." He let go of her then, reaching to scratch at his neck. "Long flight."

"I'm sure! And the first thing you do is come to find your ex?"

Helga wished she could be surprised that Rhonda would do that. Just go for it, that way. But she wasn't. She wasn't in the slightest.

She didn't know what to say, so she didn't say anything at all.

"I, um, I told him I was working this afternoon, Rhonda." Lila clarified, speaking clearly behind her.

Arnold's eyes lit up, "Lila, oh my god!" He almost ran to hug her, embracing her with much more enthusiasm than he had Rhonda.

"Hi, Arnold," She said warmly, tucking her face in between his head and his neck.

Helga tried so very hard not to burn with envy, she could feel Sid's, but more prominitely, Rhonda's eyes, glued to her with the tenacity of eagle's eyes on it's prey. She forced a smile forward.

"Oh my god," His arms tightened around her. "I know you've sent me pictures and everything, but it's so weird seeing you all…"

"Grown up?" Lila pulled back from him, hands grabbing his upper arms. "I could say the same for you."

"Yeah," he laughed. "It happened when I was like 16, I shot up like a rocket." He was examining her face intensely. "It is so good to see you."

Helga wanted to cry. She wanted to cry so badly. If Rhonda wasn't there, she might have.

It was likely the only time she ever felt grateful for Rhonda's presence.

Helga didn't know what else to do, so she just looked at Sid, who's eyes were searching out her face, looking somewhat sick with worry. She felt a rush of appreciation for Sid in those moments.

She had a joke to make on the tip of her tongue maybe 'do you two want us to leave,' or 'i didn't know fourth grade classes had reunions,' but nothing felt right to her. Nothing that was coming to her mind that needed to be said. She stayed silent, standing there, hands twitching.

"Sid?!" Arnold turned to the side, sounding incredulous. Sid's eyes jumped from Helga to Arnold, smiling at him.

"Hey, man, how are you?" Sid asked, but Arnold was already hugging him.

"You look good, man!" Arnold told him, thumping him on his back. Helga saw the small amount of pride flush into Sid's cheeks. He didn't say anything back, just hugged Arnold.

"Wow," Arnold pulled back from him, and turned to gaze to lay a hand on Lila on the side. He looked between Lila, Sid, and Rhonda, who had walked up to join them. "I can't believe this. I mean, I knew we'd all get older, but it's so odd."

Helga watched the back of his head, his hair brushed just past his ears.

If you had told her that all of this would happen, she would expect to be jealous of Lila. She wouldn't be surprised that she was jealous of Rhonda.

She wouldn't have guessed she'd be jealous of Sid.

Helga just wanted to see the look on his face, the wonder that was probably under it. The excitement for the unknown, the astonishment at the changes of time.

The love that was undoubtedly in it.

She just wished it had been directed towards her.

She wanted it so badly it alarmed her.

And maybe that's what made her move. She didn't know.

She had opened the small door by the side of the register, that let the employees out to the lobby. She opened it, walked around it, and shut it quietly, without saying a word.

He heard her anyway, and turned around slowly. He examined her face again, and then his grin was nearly splitting his face in two.

"Helga," he breathed, grin leaking into his voice.

Before Helga could even register the sound of him saying her name, he was walking quickly across the room, opening his arms, and drawing her into them.

Her arms sprung around his neck in surprise, wrapping tightly around him. Before her mind caught up with her, her feet were off the floor, he had spun them around, and he was still walking.

"I've missed you," he breathed into her neck.

Her feet dangled uselessly above the floor.

"How's it been, football head?" She muttered quietly, willing her face to not turn red.

She knew that he laughed at that.

She just wasn't sure if it was her imagination, but she thought that his arms tightened around her.

Her hat had fallen off at some point, she didn't know when.


He'd have known the face anywhere. It's possible it could have been because he was in his hometown, but he still thought that if he had seen her anywhere- a mountain in Tibet, an alley in Paris, he'd have known it was her.

He tried not to feel creepy, watching her through the window of the shop.

She was beautiful, laughing at whomever she was communicating with through her phone. Arnold still had a lot to wrap his mind around with that, cell phones, that is. He himself had an iPhone in his pockets that his parents had bought for him, but it baffled him more than it helped him do anything.

He did like the Maps app though, that had helped him get where he was standing.

He was a little embarrassed, that he had to use a digital assistant to navigate a town he used to have etched on his heart like a tattoo. But it had been years, and frozen yogurt wasn't even a thing when he left.

Lila tried to explain it in letters, but he still wasn't sure he understood. He was pretty sure it was just ice cream for people who liked to lie to themselves.

His mouth had gone dry when he saw her, he almost thought that it was a trap, that Lila had tricked him. He didn't know why she would do that in any way though, he told her more than once how excited he was to see Helga.

He had thought about it since the day he had left.


Arnold waited by her locker, nervous to see his own girlfriend, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He took his hat off and then put it back on and fidgeted some more.

"Hey," She was standing behind him, and he jumped around to face her, startled.

"Hi!" He said too loudly. She smiled sadly at him, one hand on her backpack. It was old, and had been sewn up the bottom. Olga had used it once, long ago. Helga was officially too old to forgo a backpack, so she dug through some boxes before coming upon one. Arnold remembered helping Helga sew it back together when it had fell apart one after a long day. He remembered finishing it for her, because she kept stopping every few moments to furiously wipe at her eyes. He remembers not knowing what to say, so he said nothing, and just finished the stitching.

He saw the same look, the I'm-Holding-It-Together look, in her eye that day. It hurt him more than he even knew it did at the time.

He was also, again, at a loss for what to say.

She seemed to know that, though, because she said "walk me home?"

He nodded vigorously.

It was a really cold day, that day in January. Helga's nose and cheeks were turning pink as they walked, not saying much of anything at all. Pink always suited her, Arnold thought, as he looked at her ponytail with the bow. It definitely did.

"Are you excited?" Helga asked quietly, hands shoved into her pockets.

Arnold was having a hard time not being excited. He was sure she expected it, as it was his parents and he missed them desperately. But that wasn't something he wanted to just shout into the heavens, not in front of her. So, he didn't answer. Not really.

He just reached a hand into her coat pocket, and laced his fingers through her, pulling it back out. He rubbed his thumb on hers.

She seemed to shrink a little more.

Arnold didn't know why everything had to die every year. He looked at the trees that were nothing but shadows of themselves, whispers of snow still left in the nooks. The cracks of the sidewalk had no signs of little green stems in them. The water that normally ran to the drains was stuck, frozen into a little puddle.

The wind hit his cheek hard.

They were only two blocks away from her house.

"Promise me you'll write," He asked quietly, gripping her hand a little harder.

"I will." She promised.

He took a breath.

He wanted to make her promise other things. Promise to eat, to make some new friends, to not let her family under her skin. He knew that if he asked, she would say she would. He just didn't know if she would keep them.

A promise never made was better than a promise never kept.

"I'm going to miss you," he told her honestly. "I'm going to miss you every single day."

He could hear her breathing. He thought it might be because of the wind.

Her other hand rubbed at her eye.

He stopped talking.

Her house was in the middle of the block. He wished he walked slower. He wished he had said more. He wished he knew what to say more.

But no amount of wishing would change that they were standing outside of the Pataki home, and he had a half an hour to get home before he had to leave for his flight, and he had promised to say goodbye to Gerald in person.

She turned to him, mouth beginning to open like something was on the tip of her tongue, but he never learned what it was, because he kissed her.

It wasn't as if it were their first kiss, or their weirdest. It was just set out from the others, because she had barely kissed him back.

When he pulled back from her, that look in her eye was returned. He hugged her, hard, so he wouldn't have to look at it.

What she said to him, the last words she would in a long time, was odd, and the sound of it rang in Arnold's ears for years to come after that.

"Thank you, Arnold." She said quietly as he hugged her, hugging him fiercely.

He pulled back, and kissed the corner of her eye, insides pulling at him when he felt wetness under his lips.

"Take care of yourself, Helga, please." He told her. She rubbed at her eyes as he gripped her arms, watching her. She nodded.

He kissed her again.

He wouldn't be able to remember, no matter how hard he focused on it, how the next few moments played out. He couldn't remember who let go first, who turned away, who watched who go. He just knew it ended with her, in her house, and him, walking away on a lonely Hillwood street.

He left his blue cap on her front step. He didn't need it anymore. His dad gave him a new one.

He didn't know if she ever picked it up.


Everything about it was perfect, he thought, as he hugged her in the middle of that shop. The only thing he could consider missing was Gerald, and he was sure he'd be able to catch up with him soon enough. He reveled in how small Helga seemed to him now, how she still seemed fond of him. How beautiful Helga had come to be, how Lila was still so kind, and brought them to be together. How he could feel her hair on his arm, how tightly she held him.

He told her he missed her, she called him an insult-turned pet name.

It was a perfect moment in time.

"Of course," He heard Rhonda say, "the ex gets the best treatment."

Rhonda had barely changed.

It was perfect.

He set her down, albeit sheepishly at his dramatic. "You know it's funny," he said, as he smoothed out the arms of her shirt, her looking around a little flustered. He turned to face Rhonda because he wasn't sure he could stand how cute it was. "I don't recall getting dumped by you," He leaned on the counter, gesturing towards Helga. He wondered if what he was saying was too brave, but the way she was patting her head, looking around for the hat he had accidentally knocked off, it made him do it anyway. "I know I definitely didn't dump you." He shrugged, leaning a hip into the counter, crossing his arms. "I don't know about you guys, but by all laws of mankind, I believe that means we're still dating."

Helga spluttered, Lila's eyes widened to an extreme, Sid looked panicked, Rhonda laughed.

Rhonda spoke through her spattered laughter, which Lila had begun to join in on, "you are something, Arnold," she snorted, her eyes glittered. "This fall is looking better by the moment."


a/n lila isn't going away, sorry. thank u if u read & double thanks if u leave reviews, u r lovely and encouraging. xx