Chapter 4
Arizona got out of surgery around 3:00pm and noticed she had a text message from Callie:
Let me know when you're out of surgery so we can talk. We can grab a coffee.
Arizona walked by the surgical board to confirm that Callie had not been pulled into another surgery. Before heading to the Orthopedics floor, she went by the coffee cart to grab a couple Chai teas and two apples. Arizona knew the last thing Callie needed was another coffee, Callie probably had already had a couple more cups since this morning. She would be jittery with any more. Arizona smiled as she heard Callie laughing in the distance; it was nice to hear that again. She rounded the corner in time to see Dr. Seth Lambert, a visiting physician from Seattle Presbyterian, with his arms around her wife, showing her what he considered the proper batting stance. The two were debating baseball of all things. Arizona pulled back out of sight, but kept the scene in view.
"When you get back I am taking you to a Mariners' game and teach you about this great American pastime. I have tickets right behind home plate." Dr. Lambert boasted. It wasn't an offer or a request, more of a statement of fact.
Callie, surprised by the proffer, answered "Well, we'll see. I'm really busy." What she really wanted to say is that 'I'm married, and I don't think my wife would appreciate me going out on a date with you.' but having that conversation would just open up another can of worms.
Gossip traveled though Seattle Grace at light speed. Most people knew Arizona was not living at home. No one blamed either woman for the situation; life dealt them some lousy cards. But it was amazing how 'friendly' people had become, particularly single people.
Dr. Lambert was not going to take 'no' for an answer. "The Mariners play 81 home games, I am sure we can work around your schedule." He winked, grabbed his patient's chart and strutted down the hall.
No sooner had Dr. Lambert left, then a scrub nurse, Jane, rounded the corner with a coffee in hand. "Hi Dr. Torres, I know you had a tough day. I just wanted to see if you were all set. I brought you a coffee."
Callie was unprepared for this thoughtful and possibly flirty gesture. Callie had lost a patient a few hours earlier; the man had a heart attack during a knee replacement, it always upset her when a patient died on her table.
Callie thought about Mark, he would have been her go-to person if Arizona was not available and for months Arizona was not available. Callie missed Mark. There was never another friend like him. She could always talk to Mark, and Mark would never beat around the bush, he was honest with her. Plus, he was not going to hit on her when she needed a shoulder to lean on. Over the last few months it was amazing how many people felt the need to checkup on her, hug her, and bring her coffee. The scrub nurse delivered the coffee and placed her arm around Callie's shoulder for a comforting squeeze.
"Um, thanks" Callie replied uneasily.
Arizona saw all she was able to bear. Thinking back to the morning's appointment with Dr. Michaels, Arizona concluded Callie was ready to move on without her. She turned around and headed for the elevators, looking for a trash can to throw away the teas.
Watching this whole scene unfold was Dr. Miranda Bailey. Bailey had ridden the Robbins -Torres roller coaster ride many times. She had been there through Gary Clark, Africa, the car accident, the amputation and the births of all their children. Those women were made for each other, she knew that. Hell, everyone one knew that except apparently those two damn women. And Dr. Lambert and the scrub nurse she added as a post script to her monologue. One look at Arizona told her that the pediatric surgeon was letting her insecurities get the best of her. Bailey intercepted Arizona before she could dispose of the cups "Dr. Robbins, were you dropping that off for Dr. Torres?"
"Well, um, yes but she looks busy and I need to get to a consult anyway." stammered Arizona.
"Let me take that to her, so you can get to your consult. Waste not, Want not, right?" Bailey said as she took one of the teas and an apple from Arizona. "Have a nice afternoon Dr. Robbins, nice to see you again." Bailey smirked.
"Thank you, you too" Arizona distractedly responded. What just happened she thought? It didn't matter anyhow; she walked down the stairs towards her office where hours of paperwork were waiting for her to be completed before she could take the following week off. Not to mention the phone call to her parents that she had managed to avoid dialing all day needed to be made.
Bailey approached the nurses' station interrupting the mindless chatter of the scrub nurse, and handed Callie the Chai tea and apple. Callie looked at the doctor perplexed. "From your wife." Bailey answered with raised eyebrows.
"Arizona was here? When?" Callie nervously questioned.
"She said did not want to interrupt; she said she had a 'consult'." Bailey air quoted the word consult; Miranda Bailey was a mind reader, she knew a fabricated excuse any day of the week.
"Tell me she missed the batting lesson? " Callie questioned.
Bailey shook her head, "Sorry. Torres did you have to play dumb and get that man going like that. You've been around enough professional athletes that you could give Ken Griffey Jr. a pointer or two."
"Ugg. At the time it was fun, but I know, I know was stupid. But Arizona never comes to the Ortho wing. He was just so full of himself; I was playing with his head. I didn't think he was going to ask me out." said Callie. "Well, I've got to go." Callie grabbed her tea and apple and took off down the hall.
"What about your coffee?" Jane asked?
"I've had way too much coffee already; it will make me jittery if I have any more." Callie yelled back as she took off down the stairs towards her wife's office.
"Don't you have someplace else to be?" Bailey demanded as she gave the evil eye to Jane. Bailey smiled mischievously as she watched the frustrated scrub nurse leave in a huff. "Those two women will be the death of me." Bailey said exasperatingly.
Xxxxxxxxx
Callie walked into Arizona's office without knocking. She assumed Arizona would be upset, and she was not waiting for an invitation. Arizona was so preoccupied by her thoughts that she did not realize Callie had entered the office. She was surprised to see Callie with tea in hand, taking a big bite out of her apple as she plopped down on the couch, saying. "Thank you for the snack."
The two women, so scared of what might come out of the other's mouth, had reduced much of their conversations to simple pleasantries and kid talk. Arizona had become extremely skittish, so much so that Callie was afraid to touch her; fearful that Arizona would irreparably shatter like Humpty Dumpty; so they kept their distance physically and emotionally. Their Friday appointments were really the only place any meaningful dialogue occurred.
"I know you wanted to talk. It's not just you that wanted to talk, I wanted to talk too. But I know we didn't say when. I could have texted you. I should have texted you first. We can do this at another time." Arizona spluttered.
"Arizona, you're rambling." Callie chuckled.
Arizona smiled, "Sorry."
"Are you all set for next week? Are you up for it?" Callie seriously asked. She did not want their daughter to be in a difficult situation. Sofia's well-being was the most important.
"I think so. No… I am. Bailey is my back-up. If things are more than I can handle, Sofia will go to Bailey's. I know what she has to get done school-wise, we'll be busy. Owen gave me most of the week off; I do have a couple consults that I need to be here for. How about you, all set? I'll drive you to the airport." Arizona replied.
"I hoped you were planning on taking us to the airport; the kids will want to say good bye. I think I am good. If I forget something, it will be a good reason to go shopping." Callie laughed.
After an awkward silence, it was hard to dodge the baseball playing elephant in the middle of the room any longer. "Look Arizona, about Dr. …" Callie started.
"Stop, it doesn't matter. Go to the baseball game. He's seems like a nice guy, you deserve that." Arizona reasoned.
"Are you kidding me?" Callie interjected. "For months you have been in your own little world, oblivious to any of us. Now you are sitting here, clearly stewing, so of course it matters."
"You're beautiful Callie, inside and out. People like being with you, and you're a people person, you need to be with people. I'm not there yet and I might never get there. It's not fair to you. Maybe it's time we …." Arizona apologetically confessed.
Callie indignantly interrupted before Arizona could finish the sentence "I said I wanted a plan, not a divorce." As if a light turned on in Callie's head, she retorted"You're giving up already, you're bailing! I'm not having this discussion now! I told you we needed to talk about this after the trip and that's when we'll talk about. " Callie was incensed. She stood up and walked out of the office, slamming the door.
Arizona was shocked at Callie's outburst. This morning she thought Callie wanted to move on without her, and after what she saw on the Ortho wing, she was convinced; it was a relief. It had lessened the guilt Arizona had been carrying. In Arizona's mind, she considered herself an albatross around Callie's neck and Callie deserves a life that was not burdened with a depressed spouse battling PTSD. "But right now Callie seems to want…us." Arizona thought.
This was already going to be a long night, Arizona deduced. She honestly had to admit she was stewing, after feeling so empty and vapid for months, she felt a pang of something else. It wasn't relief, perhaps it was anger or jealously. There was more to it. Now she was going to have to try really hard to keep her thoughts on her charts and not on Callie.
It was hard not to think about Calliope, Arizona realized.
