"Tobi! Where did he go? Why are you asking me? I wasn't-hey, there he is." The missing teen was lying in the middle of a clearing, staring up at the sky with his arms outstretched beside him. Tobi lay completely still, motionless save for the occasional rise and fall of his chest. "Dumb kid probably wore himself out," Zetsu muttered to himself as he approached the younger male. "Tobi!"
The masked teen's response was to tilt his head backwards, getting an upside-down view of his boyfriend as he reclined on the ground. "Zetsu, Tobi can't find any bears."
"They're hibernating."
"It's April!"
"They're Canadian."
"What does-"
"Canadian bears sleep longer!"
"…Really?"
"Yup."
"Wow, Zetsu is smart!" Both halves of Zetsu grinned at this.
Tobi finally worked up the effort to move his body into a sitting position and looked at Zetsu over his shoulder. "Does Zetsu want to sit with Tobi?"
The hacker nodded and seated himself at the trunk of a mighty oak, leaving his arms stretched wide open for Tobi. "Come here." The younger male all but launched himself into the elder male's arms, squishing him between the ADHD teen and solid oak. "OOF!"
"Whoa, Zetsu's eyes bug out really far!"
"Tobi?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
Pouting, the younger male did as instructed and curled up against Zetsu's chest in silence. Minutes passed like this, with not a word spoken between the two of them. And then: "Zetsu?"
"Hm?"
"What's gonna happen to us?"
The lack of third person speech immediately captured the elder teen's attention. He looked down at the Uchiha snuggled into his chest with a mixture of curiosity and worry. "What are you talking about?"
"If the cops get us, Deidara and Sasori are gonna be split up, right? So, what happens to Zetsu and Tobi?" Tobi's grip on Zetsu's shirt tightened. "Are they going to take Zetsu away from Tobi?"
It took Zetsu a moment to compose himself. The hacker hadn't seen Tobi this upset since the night he'd run away, and it unnerved him to the core. Even before the words could form in his mind, his hands reached up to pull away Tobi's mask. "Never."
"Does Zetsu mean that?"
A nod and a kiss were Tobi's answer. "Yes. Now settle down."
The Uchiha positively beamed up at Zetsu. "Ok, Zet-squirrel!" and with that, Tobi was running off into the woods, followed closely by his boyfriend, hoping to catch the younger man before he fell off a cliff.
-n-
"Are you done yet, un?"
Deidara was currently speaking to Sasori and Kisame, who were still lying on the ground laughing like mad.
Kisame was the first to regain his composure and sat up, wiping the tears from his eyes as he took a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry guys…oh Kami, you two look ridiculous!"
"Particularly you, Itachi," Sasori commented with a last chuckle. "Kisame's going to be beating off men with a stick."
Itachi's eye twitched. "Are you saying I can't handle the perverts myself?"
"Well…I mean, Kisame's definitely better suited to get rid of them-"
"Kisame, say something," the Uchiha ordered as he refocused his attention from the nervous redhead to his boyfriend.
The shark shrugged. "Well, you're not exactly butch or anything, angel."
"Angel?" Now it was Deidara's turn to laugh.
The combination of the blonde laughing and the shark agreeing with Sasori was what finally did it. Growling low in his throat, the Uchiha yanked Kisame down to eye level with anger clear in his eyes. "I'm fully capable of taking care of myself," he hissed.
"Itachi, I didn't say-"
"I don't want your help, and I certainly don't need it."
"Why are you getting all defensive!?"
"Hn."
Kisame narrowed his eyes. "Ok, fine. You don't want me to help you? Then I won't."
"Fine."
"Fine!" Decision made, the two stormed off in opposite directions, presumably to sulk for a few hours in solitude.
Deidara looked first to Kisame's retreating figure, then Itachi's, and finally to Sasori, who stood close by clearly as confused as the bomber. "Danna, what just happened?"
"What the hell's going on out here?" Pein demanded. Apparently the ruckus had awoken the leader from his nap, and the ginger was now poking his head out from inside the truck, intending to locate the cause of his awakening.
"Long story short, Itachi and Kisame had a spat," Sasori explained.
"Lovely. This car ride's going to be filled with awkward silences for a few days now, isn't it?"
"Un."
-n-
Konan stood beside Jude, blinking in disbelief at the love-struck male. "Erm, Jude-"
"Oh, the sun! It doth fall to the west! M' lady, I must be off now! Take care, and give my regards and compliments to the beauty that doth grace we unworthy humans with their divine presence! Fare thee well." With those parting words, Jude disappeared with an armful of scripts, leaving behind Konan and the shopping bags.
-meanwhile, with the theatre troupe-
Anna peered around the campsite, straightening her coke bottle glasses with a frown on her face. "First Jude runs off, and now Lennon." Swearing under her breath, the sandy blonde girl made her way through the rows of tents past several violinists and a pair of actors practicing their monologues, barely even acknowledging their presence in her heart. As the leader of the SRM, it was her solemn duty to keep track of all members of the troupe, and in the event that they vanished, drag them back to kicking and screaming. "Lennon!" she shouted.
At that moment, she heard soft guitar music playing across the way. "Lennon," she muttered under her breath. Anna quickly spun around on her heels and sprinted through the crowd, barely avoiding trampling several stage hands in the process. "Every time he goes missing, something bad-oh good lord, no!"
The cause for Anna's sudden shock and halting in her tracks was the sight of the troupe bus. The vehicle was a beat-up old charter bus, fixed up by their personal driver and mechanic. Once put in working order, the vehicle had been painted in vibrant shades of red and purple, with the troupe's emblem on the side. Therefore, it was understandable that Anna would panic, upon seeing the bus completely repainted in psychedelic yellows, reds, greens and blues. The guitar music appeared to be coming from the roof of the bus, accompanied by gentle singing. "Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees, and marmalade skies…"
"Lennon!" Clearly upset, Anna scrambled up the hood of the bus, then onto the roof.
Before her lay a male in baggy jeans and a skin tight t-shirt, sitting up and playing a pristine acoustic guitar. Upon her arrival, he looked up, staring at her coke bottle lens through his own circular specs. He smiled. "Hello hello."
"Don't 'hello hello' me!" she snapped angrily. "I told you to go find out what happened to Jude, and what do you do!? You completely redecorated our bus! What were you thinking?!"
He shrugged. "I've got a feeling."
She narrowed her eyes. "A feeling?"
"A feeling deep inside."
"That's your excuse? You had a feeling that told you to paint the bus without anyone's permission?!"
"Oh yeah."
Anna proceeded to throw her shoe square in his face, effectively knocking the singer onto his back. "What kind of answer is that?! And where is Jude?"
"Ho ho, fellows, I'm back with a multitude of manuscripts!" a voice called out from the ground
"Jude!" Anna squealed. She leapt off the bus and tackled the male, sending scripts flying everywhere. "You're back with the scripts!"
"Verily."
"It's been a long time," Lennon noted.
"Lennon, shut up!" Anna ordered. "Although he does have a point." Immediately her anger refocused on Jude. "Where have you been?!"
"To the pearly gates and back, with a vision of grace and majestic beauty firmly planted within me, like the seed of th' most beautiful rose."
"Uh-huh, that's nice. Well while you were gone, we lost the only manuscripts we have, the sodas ran out, we spilled face powder all over the costumes, Maria broke her ankle, and to top it all off, Lennon repainted the bus!"
"Ah. Methought something was askew."
"Oh for PETA's sake…" Anna sighed and shook her head. "Just hand the booklets out. We're packing up to leave within the hour."
Jude's face immediately went slack at the words. "But, but-!"
"But what?"
The actor's mind whirled with thoughts and excuses, until finally he struck upon a single idea that could give he what he wanted. "Anna, dear sweet Anna-"
"What do you want?"
"Maria has fallen victim to fate, wherefore she will not be able to accompany the actors onto the stage?"
"Sadly, yes. It's pushing our whole schedule months back-"
"What if, I happened to know of a person who could replace her?"
Anna was on him in a second, her pale, bony fingers wrapped tightly around his shirt collar. "Who?"
"Erm…"
"Spit it out, darn you!" she ordered while violently shaking him back and forth. "The future of our show depends on it!"
"The neighb'ring camp has a raven-haired beauty, fair as the morning dew and skin pale as the full moon!"
"She's perfect," Anna whispered to herself. Already the gears were turning in her head, preparing to replace their lead female with this newcomer. She doubted there would be much ruckus, and if a few people protested…well, that was what the medieval torture devices stored in the prop closets were for.
"But she may not wish to join-" Jude cautioned
"Then convince her!" Anna snapped. Her theatre was in danger, and she wasn't about to let this chance to salvage her play slip through her fingers.
"That I can do, madam," Jude promised. The actor could barely contain his joy; not only had he found the most beautiful creature in the world, but now had the perfect opportunity to bring them together! It must have been fate.
"You have found her; now go and get her," Lennon prodded while tuning his guitar.
"Use a net if necessary!" Anna couldn't help but add.
"I shall. Fare thee well!" Jude exclaimed before running off to his tent. He'd need some time to make the preparations to woo (or capture) his soon-to-be love.
