So, if there even is a 'you guys', I bet you guys are all wondering why I essentially dropped off the face of the internet. While I'd love to say that I was kidnapped by the 9gag terrorists and escaped, Riddick-style, or something awesome like that, it's really quite pathetic.

Generally, after My Chemical Romance broke up I had kind of a constant Blue Screen of Death- I mean, they helped me through a lot of shit, and then they were just like 'oh we're breaking up and mikey's an ass now kthxbai', and... yeah. (What really hurts is that Mikey was my favorite u.u *sobs*) I wasn't institutionalized or anything, but basically I couldn't handle much of anything, and had to focus all my energy on clawing my way through school with a 3.5 GPA (taking an AP class wasn't really my best idea, in terms of my mental health...). *sighs* You know what, I'll just let Zak Bagans' twitter visually demonstrate my mental state for the past few months. . /tumblr_m63cfwqVaT1qdkcsao1_

(I apologize in advance for any typos- since I haven't written in awhile, my typing skills have now dwindled to that of Thome Yorke.)


"...According to Dante, the "lukewarm" are "the people who don't give a fuck ... The lukewarm are on the edge of the Inferno, cruising around near the gates but they can't actually get out. They're like, 'What are we doing here? We didn't do anything at all.' And in Dante's eyes it's, 'That's exactly why you're here. You did fuck all. You just let it happen.'"

-Thom Yorke


Within a few minutes of meeting her, Light decided that Xenos was even more infuriating than L, if at all possible. Possibly, it was because of the obnoxious mop of blue hair, her general rude attitude of superiority (that was supposed to be his job), or any other irritating trait she possessed. But definitely not because she had immediately picked apart his chosen outfit for the day and dismissed it as 'preppy' and 'trying too hard.' Nope. Definitely not.

"Y'know, I almost thought you were mature for your age." Xenos said airily, stretching her arms and legs over the couch, much to Watari's chagrin.

Light sucked in a breath and mustered all his willpower. Don't hit her, don't hit her... she looked pretty weak, being rather skinny, but it didn't really matter either way, because if he did attack her he could guarantee that L would go all capoeira on his ass and he wasn't really in the mood to be humiliated today, thank you.

"It seems you don't like me all that much, Xenos." he said, forcing a smile. "Sorry if I did anything to offend you." In his experience, it was best to choke down your anger and try to be polite- if that didn't work, well, there was also the business of bullying them into submission.

"Well, yeah. I don't really like you that much." Xenos responded plainly, losing her smirk. "Unfortunately, the only thing you're offending me with is your face, which I don't really think can be fixed on site." she smiled back sarcastically, picking up on Light's forced politeness. While knowing when people didn't like you was a useful skill, it wasn't so nice when it was one of the only ones you had.

Light contemplated briefly smashing her stupid fucking blue head in with one of the glass vases on the table, but forced himself to be calm once more. His thin hands formed claws on his knees, viciously wrinkling his chinos. Any idiot could see that he was about three seconds away from going off on her, and that wouldn't be pretty.

Xenos, however, was milking his rage for all it was worth, smirking away on her designated couch. It seemed like winding people up was one of her hobbies.

"So, any anonymous tips yet, Matsuda? Leads? Clues?" Xenos asked, frowning when the constantly nervous-looking brunette shook his head. "Nothin', then. Welp. That sucks."

She slid back to her original position of slumping into the couch.

"You know, you'll be disabled before you're thirty if you keep sitting like that." L said from across the room, speaking for the first time since he had introduced Xenos to the Task Force.

"How 'bout we stop bitching about my posture and keep working on the case at hand here? Anyways, it's not like you can talk." Xenos pushed herself off the couch, flipping L off as she made her way to the row of computers. "I refuse to believe there isn't something."

"It's not that we don't have anything..." Matsuda tried. "It's just that... well, we're not sure about any of it. A lot is just guesswork based on some really cryptic evidence-"

The sharp ringing of the phone punctuated the air, silencing Matsuda as he scrambled to pick it up before it stopped. He looked at the Caller ID- it was coming from a payphone in Tokyo. No name. A small wave of nerves swept through his stomach, but he pressed the 'answer' button anyway.

Heavy breathing followed.

"I know who the murderer is."

"Um, could you specify, please?" Matsuda asked, trying to sound strict. He'd had his fair share of prank calls, and this one sounded just like one of them.

"The old man in the apartment. 2 plus 2 is 5. You know the one. I know who the murderer is, and I know why."

"You're going to have to be a lot more specific than that..." Matsuda said, preparing to hang up.

"Afraid that I can't do that. It endangers me just by calling you right now." the man on the other end of the phone- by now, Matsuda was nearly certain it was a man- began to sound increasingly panicked. "To give my name would be a death sentence. All I can say is- whatever the girl's told you, she's right."

"I..." Matsuda clutched the phone in his hand, glancing over at Xenos, who was staring back at him, looking curious.

"The class of '69? George Orwell? You're on the right path and that's all I can tell you. Mikael Lestrade was a Lukewarm. Goodbye."
The phone clicked and then filled with static as the man hung up.

"Huh." Matsuda said. "Thank you, I guess...?"

"Tip?" Xenos asked hopefully.

"Not a very good one." Matsuda admitted. "All he said was that we were 'on the right track' and then he hung up. Too dangerous to say anymore, apparently."

"It was probably someone that knew the murderer personally." L said. "We should look through Lestrade's class records, to see if we can find anything else, alright everyone?"

"I'm going to work on the Kira case with my father." Light said abruptly, standing up and walking stiffly away.

"I think I'll... go help him." Matsuda followed quickly after Light's retreating form.

L and Xenos stared at one another over the coffee table.

"I guess it's just us, then, ol' pal." Xenos grinned sarcastically, clapping her hands together. "Alrighty. Let's get to it."

-.-.-

Xenos tentatively pulled a yellowing, cracked piece of paper out from one of the many binders scattered around the room, wincing audibly when a bit of it tore off.

"Oh, look." she said. "Flowers."

Sure enough, between the ancient pages, was a small bunch of pressed white hydrangeas, the petals feathery and dry from age.

"Interesting." L rubbed a petal between his thumb and forefinger, and it immediately crumbled away. "Sadly, this doesn't really help us with the whole murder thing, unless it was these flowers that did it."

"Either way, we should still save it," Xenos answered, slipping on a pair of Latex gloves and putting the flowers into a plastic bag. "Hey, maybe we could even call this guy the Hydrangea Murderer."

L stared at her.

"What?" she said defensively. "Those reporters are gonna need good headlines though, right?"

For a moment, L imagined a headline on the paper, in writing thick as thumbs and garishly red, 'Hydrangea Murderer Strikes Again! Will the police ever catch him?', and shuddered. Sooner or later, someone was bound to leak the case to the press, and the name seemed terribly flowery, for a person who hanged senior citizens in their apartments. A tusssie-mussie of corpses. Despite everything, L almost giggled to himself.

He cleared his throat and continued leafing flippantly through the scrapbook of Lestrade's class pictures, paying special attention to the classes in 1969. Obviously, the man had taught at a rather small school, seeing as he taught half of the students, the other half taken over by another teacher. That made for about 200 possible suspects, as there were 8 grades and 25 students per grade.

Fucking fantastic, then. he thought to himself.

Almost automatically, he began eliminating suspects. He knew almost definitely that it wasn't a girl, because Lestrade was a big man- to put it nicely- and someone with a lot of lifting power, and a rather large build was required to hang him like that. So that was 83 people gone- a good start.

He hunched over the book for an interminable amount of time, with Xenos and Watari coming and going in intervals with coffee, sweets, or sarcastic comments (no prizes to whoever guessed which one provided the last service). Actually, L hadn't really noticed either of them, until he heard a nearly inaudible intake of breath from somewhere behind him.

"What is it, Xenos?" he asked, turning to the girl behind him.

She recovered quickly and shook her head, as if ridding it of unnecessary thoughts. "Nothing. Just... just thought I saw someone familiar." she got up and left, quietly closing the door behind her.

L stared down at the sepia photographs spread before him. As if on cue, his cell phone rang in his pocket. Tiredly, he picked it up between his fingers and held it to his ear.

"What is it?"

"Um, this is the chief of police. This is Ryuzaki, right?" the voice on the other end of the line said, through bursts of static. "There's... there's been another murder, and we believe it's connected to one of your's, with Lestrade."

A wave of adrenaline shot through L and he grabbed the arm of the couch, now halfway standing. "Give me the location."

"What's happening?" he heard Xenos say, who had now reentered the room.

"We have another." he said, unable to disguise the morbid excitement in his voice. "By the way, what is a Lukewarm?"


...But despite all the sadness above in the above A/N, I feel a lot better know, and it's summer, so only fun summer classes and my laziness to get in the way of consistent updates! Yay :D And maybe Hannibal, because that show is so addicting (if you haven't watched it, please direct yourself to a TV and do so ASAP). Related to that, my friends Erin and Aaron (called Hermit, for convenience) are having a Hannibal movie-watching party in July. *throws confetti and dismembered body parts* Yaaaay!

btw, the chapter title comes from a Vermillion Lies album title. It's not really well related, but I was sapped for inspiration and I wanted to get this up today.

PS I don't hate Light, at all. You've got to believe me. He just seems like a fun guy to wind up.