Seriously, fave'n'runners, I have my eye on you. O_e
Title: Flammable and Unflappable
Theme: #3- Fire
Claim: Robin
Words: 507
Rating: T, for Sanji-isms.
Warnings: Sexual harassment of the love-cook kind.
In truth, it was all an honest accident. No one had intended any harm, and there was no harm done. Sort of. Well, Robin didn't kill Sanji in the end, so it was all good.
It had started with Franky trying to flambe a dish of ice cream. Of course, Sanji was trying to tell him that he was doing it all wrong.
"You shitty cyborg! You don't light it on fire, you're supposed to add the alcohol to it so it makes- are you even listening?!" Sanji shouted at Franky.
"Chill, cook-bro. This'll be super!" Franky said confidently, holding a frying pan with a lump of vanilla ice cream sitting in it. The rest of the crew was sitting around them. Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and Brook were practically bouncing in their seats with excitement. Zoro had fallen asleep with his fork sticking out of his mouth and Nami looked for the most part, bored. Only the four boys and Robin seemed genuinely interested.
"You're doing it wrong, dammit!" Sanji ground his cigarette between his teeth. Franky ignored him and puffed out his chest.
"Stand back, bros!" Franky inhaled. Sanji kicked Franky in the shin (which had no effect on the cyborg) and stomped over to sit by Nami.
"FRESH FIIIIRE!!!" Franky blew out a stream of flames, igniting the ice cream. It seemed to literally explode, bursting into flames and sending a column of hot fire up into the night sky. When the flames finally died down, the ice cream had been reduced to a burnt puddle sitting in a red-hot pan.
"See, shitty cyborg? You did it wrong." Sanji smirked.
"Aw, well, I thought- OH CRAP! NICO ROBIN!" Franky dropped the pan on his foot and cursed. Everyone turned to look at the historian.
A spark must have touched her or something, because there was a small flame on her shirt that was steadily growing. Robin immediately stood up, but she didn't seem all that alarmed that her shirt had caught on fire. In fact, she didn't seem startled at all.
"AAH! STOP DROP ROLL! STOP DROP ROLL!" Usopp and Chopper shouted frantically.
"ROBIN!!!" Nami shrieked.
"I'LL SAVE YOU, ROBIN-CHWAN!" Sanji ran at Robin and tackled her to the ground.
"SANJI-KUN!" Nami yelled, this time angrily.
"YOOOOOHOO!!" Brook screamed, his hands on his cheekbones.
"Sanji's assaulting Robin! You gotta see!" Luffy tugged on Zoro's sleeve. Zoro woke up, spat out the fork, and glanced at Sanji, who was frantically trying to put out the fire while Robin attempted to push him off of her.
"Stupid pervert." Zoro muttered before closing his eyes again.
Nami had managed to snatch a glass of water from somewhere and threw its contents onto Robin. The fire was put out, but Sanji immediately began to bleed all over the archaeologist at the sight of her wet shirt riddled with holes from the flames.
"Cook-san..." Robin said uncomfortably, slightly grimacing. "Please get off..."
"Up you go, cook-bro." Franky yanked the frozen Sanji up with one hand and helped Robin stand up. Franky rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry, Nico Robin. But, eh, no hard feelings, right?"
"Abadababadaba..." Sanji blubbered.
Robin glanced at both of them. "Well, no one was hurt-"
Zoro coughed loudly in his sleep.
"-so there's no harm done."
Franky had to steady Sanji when he began to sway, a dazed look on his pale face.
"All of you are idiots except for Robin." Nami said flatly.
Well, Sanji was trying to help...
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