Charlie's Journal
Chapter Four

AN: Hey All
Thank you as always to though who read, reviewed, added or favourited this story.
I have been thinking about writting a before story, Mitchie's Story about her life as around the time charlie came to be, but I am not sure so let me know what you think. I will still finish this one.
anyway... enjoy this chapter
Princess Kay

Final preparations for tour are well and truly underway with just five sleeps till the tour begins. This morning our in-ear monitors arrived. Nate and Caitlyn decided we should test them out straight away, taking us up to the music room for a practise session.

"They feel a little uncomfortable at first but you get used to them" Nate assured me as he expertly wound the wire around my ear and inserted the pink ear piece. He dropped the other end of the wire down the back of my shirt, pulling it out from the bottom and connecting it all up.

"You should be able to hear some static" Caitlyn called over while she was placing a red ear piece in Dylan's ear. We had each picked a different colour so we would never accidently get them mixed up. Nate, Jason and dad already had green, black and blue ones respectively. Seth had chosen orange and Noah got purple.

"I hear it" Noah said rather proudly when his was in. we picked up our instruments and rehearsed for about an hour, adjusting to using the in-ears, which feed us each a different mix of live and recorded music helping us to keep in perfect time with each other.

"Caitlyn can you check this I don't think it is sitting right" I complained after it had fallen out of my ear for the second time, putting down my guitar and walking over to her. She pulled it out and fiddled with it before putting it back into my ear.

"Kids, school!" Ann hollered up the stairs bring us all down from an excited tour high. The boys packed up and grudgingly marched down stairs while Caitlyn continued to fix my in-ears.

"Does that feel better?" she asked once she was done. I nodded thanking her and packed up my stuff. I walked over to the piano where I had left my guitar case, just as I zipped it up I felt something snatch at my ankle and firmly grasp it. I shrieked so loud out of fright, that everyone came bolting upstairs. I was still screaming when they arrived I had jerked away and backed up to the far corner of the room. Seeing Seth crawl out from under the piano laughing so hard he couldn't stand up, shut me up very quickly.

"Seth, you're an idiot! You gave me a heart attack!" I cried angrily, folding my arms defensively across my chest.

"That… was so … funny" he choked out still laughing so hard, tears now welled in his eyes. I glared at him clenching my hands into fists, growing increasingly mad.

"Sure hilarious, you just watch Seth one day I'll get you back and then we will see who's laughing!" I threatened storming out of the room.

That afternoon I left for my grandparent's house, I was spending the night with dad's parents. While my parents, aunt and uncles attended an award show, dad thought it might be a good opportunity for me to bond with them.

"Bye mom, bye dad, have a good night!" I called grabbing my duffle bag from next to me on the backseat and knocking on the Gray's front door. Dad honked the car horn and mom waved as they drove off. Donna Gray my grandmother opened the door with a big grin on her face she was clearly excited to have me come and stay.

"Ah you're here, come on in!" she gushed pulling me into a tight embrace. I smiled kindly hugging her back. My grandfather Craig was not far behind her seeming just as excited as she did.

"Come on princess, I'll show you where you'll be sleeping" he said taking my bag and placing his arm across my shoulders. He led me down the hall passed two bedroom doors labelled with my uncles names then opened one labelled Shane. I smiled staring carefully around the room. There was a double bed covered in simple blue sheets, the walls were painted a grey-blue colour and decorated with several posters of musical legends. Grandad placed my bag on the bed, while I moved around the room exploring the clues it offered into my father's teenage years. There were a bunch of photo frames on his dresser, photo's of dad with his brothers, of people from camp rock. Then in a beautiful blue glass frame was a photo of mom and dad. The exact one I recall from mom's photo album. Tacked to the wall above the dresser I noticed a magazine clipping which had been roughly cut out and pasted onto a piece of card. The clipping was an advertisement for Connect Three's first album. Under the clipping Nate's neat handwriting read out. 'I told you we would make it one day! More proof I'm always right!' next to that clipping was another, it was a magazine article talking about how if Shane Gray didn't smarten up Connect Three would be dropped from their record label. Along with it was dad's writing 'Keeping up an image is hard work'.

"We haven't changed the boys rooms since the moved out, in case they ever wanted to come back…take a break from being big rock stars and be my boys again" I span around startled to see my grandmother in the door way. It was her who had spoken; clearly I had been too distracted to notice my grandfather leave the room. I moved over towards my bag and sat down on the bed feeling a little awkward. I glanced down at my feet as I shuffled them against the soft grey carpet.

"It's weird seeing their rooms, exactly the way they were when they were teenagers; mom's is still the same too. It's almost like going back in time to before I was born" I rambled trying to break the silence.

"It's also really funny, I am definitely going to have to tease him about the TJ Tyler poster" She smiled at me as I pointed it out on the wall.

"Would you like to see the other boy's rooms?" she offered raising her eyebrow at me. I nodded, jumping up from the bed with a giggle and following her to the other boy's rooms. Jason's was very much like his room at home, a mess of colours and random bits and pieces. I did however take a mental note to ask him about the photo on his night stand. It was of him as a teenager and a beautiful girl. She had dark hair and eyes, and was a fair bit shorter than him. They were both smiling very happily at the camera the girls arms wrapped firming around Jason's middle. Normally I wouldn't have thought twice about the picture except it was the only photo Jason had in his room. Nate's room was rather neat, and pretty much entirely green, that's probably what made the acoustic guitar resting in the corner stand out. I wandered over to it and brushed my fingers across the stings on the neck of the guitar. It was a nice one; I wonder why Nate left it here? I thought as I glanced around at the book case of trophies against the opposite wall.

"Nate is very ambitious and competitive" my grandmother smiled watching me watch the trophies. I rubbed my thumb across the guitar strings again; I had left mine at home.

"Do you think he would mind if I played it?" I asked nodding my head towards the guitar. She shook her head telling me to go for it. I picked it up carefully examining it as I sat down on his bed. I picked at the strings ensuring it was in tune before playing a random rhythm that had popped into my head.

"Is that one of your bands songs?" my grandfather asked from the door. I blushed slightly I hadn't realised they were both watching me.

"No, I sort of just made it up then" I confessed, he nodded a slight smile pulling at his lips

"Do you play other instruments?" I shrugged.

"I sing and play piano, but only a little bit, it's mainly just guitar" I informed him, making it clear that while I could do other things I didn't want to because I loved playing guitar. He smiled proudly at me.

"She looks like Shane, has a natural talent like Nate and loves guitar as much as Jason" he summed up with a chuckle and my grandmother seemed to agree.

Later that night I was sitting cross legged on my dad's bed watching the award show on television, my grandmother was gently braiding my hair into two neat braids. Grandad Craig walked in carrying two bowls of ice cream. I grinned a thankyou to him as he handed me one.

"It's so nice to be able to so someone's hair like this, with three boys I never got the chance too as a mother" Donna said sadly as she wrapped a hair elastic around one of the braids.

"You can do mine whenever you want, it looks amazing" I told her with a mouthful of ice cream. To my right my grandfather had eaten half of his bowl already.

"So you're where dad gets his love of ice cream from" I accused with a giggle.

"Guilty" he chuckled shoving the spoon into his mouth.

"A love he has passed on to his daughter it seems" my grandmother teased seeing I was steadily working my way through my bowl too.

"Oh there they are!" I called excitedly as the camera showed a shot of my family sitting around a big round table with several other familiar faces, from their record label. The camera then showed glimpses of the other nominees before returning to the stage where to artists were preparing to announce the winner. I cross my fingers for good luck and bit down on my bottom lip anxiously.

"And the winner is … Connect Three!" I let out a little squeal and watched as my dad and uncles made their way towards the stage. Nate took the microphone thanking everyone from their label individually, and then thanking their parents and partners, just as he was about to finish his speech dad leant into the microphone.

"Special thanks to my daughter Charlotte, I love you" he rushed as they headed off stage.

"Aww I got a thank you too" I cried feeling really special that dad had included me in the speech. Just then my phone began to ring I reached across the bed and snatched it up.

"Hello!" I said brightly bringing the phone to my ear.

"Hey Charlie, I just wanted to say goodnight" Dylan greeted from the other end. My smile grew a little wider. He was so sweet calling to say goodnight to me.

"Goodnight" I told him shifting to lie down on my stomach.

"Goodnight…" his tone of voice at the end of his goodnight, led me to believe he had more to tell me. I didn't say anything waiting for him to go on.

"I… I love you Charlie" he whispered. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened. He hadn't said that before, yeah he had ended text messages to me before with love Dylan, but this was very different than that. I realise I had to say something soon or else he would think I didn't love him back.

"I love you too" I whispered softly realising that I truly meant it, I really loved Dylan.

"See you tomorrow" he finished his voice still quiet.

"Bye" I replied hanging up. I stared down at my phone in my hand for a few minutes, thinking over the short conversation. I was trying to work out what had happened to make him tell me that he loved me.

"Time for bed?" my grandmother suggested switching off the television. I nodded my head and moved up towards the pillows pulling the blankets over me. I have a feeling she had heard enough of the conversation to work out what had happened but wasn't saying anything, something I was thankful for.

When I arrived home the next day all I wanted to do was go up to the music room and write a song to the tune I had made up the day before. I already had a couple lines and was eager to put it together. It had been a while since I had written a song. Before I even made it upstairs I was stopped by mom and dad who wanted to know how my stay at the Gray's had gone. After explaining that in a hurry, I attempted to go upstairs only to be headed off by Caitlyn. She called the boys down stairs and gathered us around the kitchen table. Sitting in the middle was a large cardboard box.

"In here is the first official merchandise for the tour" she said excitedly reaching into the box and pulling out five black baseball caps with the bands logo on them. After placing one on her own head she passed them around. Next she removed five black hooded sweatshirts from the box, all with the same logo on the front along with the tour dates.

"These ones are named" she warned as we passed them out checking the back for names. The first one I picked up was conveniently mine on the back in big white block lettering read 'Charlie Band Guitarist' it was very cool. The boys all seemed to agree, commenting on how awesome it was to see our bands name all over everything. The last thing to be removed from the box was six plastic bags which had been taped closed. Reading the labels on the front she handed them out to each of us, Seth's mother and took one for herself. Inside each was three different coloured T-shirts with the band logo and our name and title on the back as well as a lanyard and id tag.

"Please do not loose these" Caitlyn begged holding her tag up. The lanyards were black and decorated with the band logo but the tags weren't they had the Connect Three logo. Ann Seth's mom began laughing when she read the title on the back of her shirts 'Ann band mom'.

"That's cute Caitlyn, thank you" she chuckled refolding the one in her hands. I quickly gathered up all my stuff and spun around hoping to make a break for the music room while they were all busy. However it appeared no one wanted me to write this song! Uncle Nate stopped me just as I reached the bottom step.

"Hey Charlie, I have something I wanted to show you" he called me back to the kitchen with everyone else. All the adults were admiring the merchandise now too. "After you mentioned that you wanted to help out a charity for seriously ill children I did some looking into things with Matt and Caitlyn" he started pausing to toss me a plastic bag, which I barely caught.

"It's all organised you are officially an ambassador for the Make-A-wish Foundation" he finished dramatically. In my hands was yet another T-shirt this one was white with the blue Make-A-Wish Foundation logo. Wow, this was perfect, just what I had wanted a chance to help some seriously ill children.

"It's going to be a bit tight because we have to get it done before we leave, but they have asked you to film a clip for their advertising campaign" I was nodding my head before he had even finished the sentence.

"This is amazing, Uncle Nate, when can I do it?" I rushed, leaping forward and hugging him, to show how much I appreciated what he had done.

"I'll take you to the hospital tomorrow" he grinned and I hugged him tighter.

"How did you arrange it all so quickly I only mentioned it on Sunday" I questioned him feeling confused. He wasn't given a chance to answer though because mom cut him off.

"Nate has been an ambassador for a few years now, come on lets get all this stuff upstairs, I happen to know for a fact that none of you have started packing" she teased hinting us all that it should be started at least, right this minute.

"I want you down here ready to start your school work in an hour" Ann added as we all groaned and marched upstairs. Great! I sighed by the time I had began packing and done my school work I was never going to get time to write my song!

I eventually got the chance after dinner that night Seth and I were drying the dishes. A week ago Mom had insisted we all take on a household chore as a way of keeping us grounded, or so she claimed.

"Seth, so you think you could help me with something when we are done here?" I asked stacking a now dry plate in the cupboard. He nodded grabbing a new glass from beside the sink and began to dry it. Once we were done I took Seth's hand and dragged him upstairs to the music room. To ensure everyone else stayed out I grabbed my guitar and sat down on the floor with my back pressed against the door.

"Ok so have been writing a song, well trying to…" I trailed off. Seth picked up a set of drum sticks and pointed them at me showing he understood what I wanted. He moved over to the drums and waited for me to play the tune I had made up. He kept the beat light and simple.

It's a wonderful crazy

It's a beautiful out of control

Kinda scary amazing

But I don't really mind at all

It's like I'm falling, flying, laughing, crying

Hanging on and letting on

Cause my life's so wonderful crazy, crazy

"That's the chorus yeah?" Seth asked when I was finished singing.

"Yeah, I've got more, might sound better with the electric guitar though" I replied jumping up to switch guitars. I moved to sit on a stool in front of the drum kit, directly opposite Seth and we continued to work on my song. At some point Noah silently snuck in and took over the guitar leaving me to focus on the singing.

Welcome to a new day

Don't know what's on the way

But whatever it is I'll be ready

On your mark, get set go

Here's the show and the road

But with you it's a load I can carry I smiled at Seth in front of me taking in a quick breath and glancing down at my scribbled lyrics.

And each breath I will take it

Every moment gonna make it

It's a wonderful crazy reaching the chorus my voice carried around the room.

It's a beautiful out of control

Kinda scary amazing

But I don't really mind at all

Like I'm falling, flying, laughing, crying

Hanging on and letting go

Cause my life's so wonderful crazy, crazy, crazy I was tapping my hand against my thigh counting out the beat.

Some days get intense

And I break down my defence

But I'm here and I'm not giving up

Gonna take in the sights

On the ride of my life

Living just to survive's not enough

So much love to discover

I don't need any other I shook my head and closed my eyes for that line.

It's a wonderful crazy

It's a beautiful out of control

Kinda scary amazing

But I don't really mind at all

Like I'm falling, flying, laughing, crying

Hanging on and letting go Noah nodded at someone behind me causing me to stand and turn around to face our audience.

Cause my life's so wonderful crazy

And I'm reeling but embracing that feeling

Of the strange and the new

Of the love I found in you

It's a wonderful crazy Seth stopped pausing for a couple lines

It's a beautiful out of control

Kinda scary amazing, then picking up the drums again.

But I don't really mind at all

Like I'm falling, flying, laughing, crying

Hanging on and letting go

Cause my life's so wonderful

I smiled at my family, Dylan and the boy's mom's who had all come to see what we were up to.

It's a wonderful crazy

It's a beautiful out of control

Kinda scary amazing

But I don't really mind at all

Like I'm falling, flying, laughing, crying

Hanging on and letting go

Cause my life's so wonderful crazy

Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy

I gave a cheeky bow as we received a round of applause, my cheeks turning slightly pink.

"Alright it's almost midnight, bedtime" Ann said to her son who groan in annoyance and gave a final three second drum solo before admitting defeat under his mothers stare and saying goodnight. Noah and Dylan were sent to bed too. Dylan pausing to give me a quick kiss on my cheek first. I said good night to my family quickly and hurried to my room. I was ecstatic about finishing my song.

"Just came in to say goodnight" Dad called opening my bedroom door; I was already in my pyjamas and was climbing into bed. He kissed my forehead and left the room, while mom took a seat on the bed next to me.

"I liked your song, what's it about?" I shrugged, giving her a confused look, it was a silly question she had heard the song she should know what it was about.

"Life" I responded when it looked like she wasn't going to give in.

"Not a boy?" she pushed a small smirk forming on her lips. I frowned what was she getting at? Reading my mind she went on.

"Be careful sweetheart I don't want you to get hurt, Dylan is a nice boy but just be careful, what happens between the two of you could seriously affect the whole band" she cautioned brushing a strand of hair away from my face.

"We both understand that mom" I assured her; she nodded acceptingly and sighed before standing to leave. Just as she arrived at my bedroom door she paused.

"Oh and would you tell Dylan to be quieter when he sneaks in here tonight, I have no control over your father if he finds out" she teased causing my eyes to widen and my cheeks to burn red. Busted! I thought as she shut the bedroom door.

The song is Wonderful Crazy by Katelyn Tarver.