Disclaimers: I do not own any character within this story. I also do not own England if you were just wondering.
Credits for Fernadora: This character belongs to Lady Locust. This will probably be the only story she will appear in ._.
There was a blast of confetti as Fernadora swooped down into the Lon Lon Castle. Cloud blinked eyeing the confetti; it seemed to come out of no where. The two Kokiri and their companions stared; the setting seemed so intimidating that they could nearly breathe in the confetti….unknown to them that it was made out of deadly substances. Link reached up to the confetti planning on eating it, his eyes were shining with bliss. The thoughts of the deadly Fernadora were gone…everything. Just the soft smooth touch of paper..Navi gasped and was about to say something but was swiftly interrupted by a strong voice…
"Aw, haell nah, child! You spit dat confetti shit out right now, boi! That shit a srs deadly toxin for ya'll. Go wash dat crack out with some of Mama Fernadora's home-made Grape Kool-aid, babay."
The group of travelers (excluding Sephiroth) stared at Fernadora in complete shock. The dragon stood before them with a large jug of purple liquid, sparkling as funk music played in the background. Link staggered back in fear almost feeling like he would wet his pants. He looked over at Cloud with shining eyes begging for Cloud to translate. Cloud glared but with a sigh gave into his friend. How else would Link get by in life?
"Link says that he didn't eat any of your…confetti.."
"Dat's right, silly cracka child! Ain't none o' dat confetti goin' down yo throats! BLACK PANTHA PRIDE, BABEH!"
Cloud and Link staggered back as Fernadora made jesters as she spoke. Sephiroth stood his ground looking at the sparkling dragon with no emotion. "Why the hell are you talking like that?" he asked. He didn't understand this creature, and quite frankly, it was creeping him out. A flash crossed the dark faeries mind; along with the Red XII's, this "Fernadora" could aid him….Sephiroth had a wide grin. JENOVA AND HE WOULD RULE THE------
"DON'T YOU BE CUSSIN' AT ME, LITTLE BOI. I CUT YO THROATS. I'M A FUCKIN' DRAGON, BITCH."
All thoughts of the dragon's aid were left behind now. Sephiroth pulled out his hunting knife dramatically, "You don't tell me what to do, heathen. One of these days, Jenova will come down from the cosmos and kill you a slow and painful death which every planet deserves for murdering her." He said coolly.
"Bitch, you be trippin' BALLS. I ain't no motha cracka trip saint, bitch negroe fiya! I CUT YO UP."
Before Sephiroth could react any more, Cloud grabbed Link's rag-a-muffin hat and captured the grey abomination. He looked up at Fernadora, "What is it that you want exactly?" he asked the fired up dragon. Link nodded vigorously.
"I want sum o' ya'lls gingerale cookies! Bitches over at da bar sayin' dey's goooood shitdawgniggaboi!"
Cloud raised an eyebrow, "I don't think they---"
"Here you go!" a bubbly cheery voice called. Cloud and Link looked over to see Gannondorf arose from all of this chaos. The forgotten man whom Link thought he was supposed to destroy, but was tangled up in cookie crumbling death confetti madness. Cloud shook his head, "Now I have seen it all." He muttered under his breath. Gannondorf skipped over to the small group holding several boxes of Gingerale Cookies, "These just came in a few days ago…an experimental formula." He held up the girl scout box, "I am Gannondorf. And you must be?" he said in strange politeness that made the Kokiri travelers stagger back.
"IS DAT SUM O' DEM GINGERALE COOKIES?! AW HAELL YES, BOI. Hand 'em ovah to Mama Fernadora, now!"
Unknown to the group, Gannondorf's eye twitched as he handed the box to the dragon with a sparkly personality. Cloud sighed, this wasn't going anywhere. Fernadora didn't seem to have any needs of being at the Lon Lon Castle except for the…whatever cookies. He tugged Links arm, "Come on. We have to go complete the Triforce remember? Your whole 'save Hyrule' mission?" Link gasped and pulled out his Kokiri sword with dramatic music emphasizing the 'yes' in his expression. Cloud rolled his eyes and started to drag Link with him before Gannondorf and Fernadora could realize…
"Mi caballo es rosa en el queso casa! MUCHOS GRACIAS!" Fernadora called. She circled Link and Cloud, trapping them in a ring made out of her body. She held a wide smile. Link gasped falling to the ground. Cloud looked down at Link reading his expression, "We didn't land in the fucking Mexico you idiot!" slapping him against the head. Link began to cry, while Sephiroth laughed. Navi swirled into the air, "Hey it isn't Link's fault! He is just mentally challenged!" she said, her lip posied in a pouting fashion. Sephiroth was all of a sudden in her face, "Oh PLEASE! Like a little whore yourself didn't make fun of him of any sort yet!" Navi went into a small pink shade and flew away back under Link's hat.
Editors Note #2: Hehe ^_^ I hope you enjoyed this chapter and Fernadora. I am not creative when it comes to the way Fernadora speaks, so once again credit's to Lady Locust for helping me (All dialogue for Fern goes to her)!!! Also, please tell people who might enjoy this fic!!
Sorry it took so long for this chapter, and that it is so short =/ Never had the time to upload it. Right now Elf is going under hiatus while my other hiatus fanfiction is opening – Switch of Hope : A Zemyx story – and Blood and Glass is still in the works. I would love it if you all took a look =)
I am now accepting fanfiction requests.
I decided to open up a "shop" so to speak \(^o^)/ I was looking over my watchers and review, and decided this. Sadly though, I don't think I will get any requests ^_^''' but it's worth a shot.
Slot's open:
-5 chapters
-One shots
Maybe later I will open full stories like Blood and Glass : A Wonderland Story.
Bye for now!
