THE DARK SIDE OF DIMENSIONS NOTE: In the movie, Kaiba builds a space station to guard the Puzzle and to assemble it in zero gravity. At the end of the movie, it's where he launches his Dimensional Cannon, which takes him to the netherworld and Atem.
In The Dark Side of Dimensions, Kaiba tries to reassemble the Puzzle, but two pieces are missing. He holds a tournament to force Diva and Yugi to give him the missing pieces so he can complete the Puzzle and call Atem. He repeatedly refers to Yugi as the pharaoh's "vessel."
HORAKHTY NOTE: Horakhty is the god who appears at the end of Atem's duel with Zorc in the manga and anime.
CHAPTER 4: DREAM TOSSED HEROES
ANGER: From the opening lines of The Aeneid: "I sing of arms and a man who from the boundaries of Troy, exiled by fate… tossed much on land and sea…" you know that Aeneas is in for one wild ride before he fulfills his – and not so coincidentally, the Roman Empire's – destiny. In the sea-tossed part of Virgil's epic propaganda poem, Aeneas (literally) washes up on the shores of Carthage. Its queen, Dido, with a little nudge from Venus, falls hard and fast. (Proving, once again, that it pays to be the son of the goddess of love.) Aeneas is fine with delaying destiny for dalliance. But, like all league-sanctioned heroes, he eventually puts aside love for duty. When his journey requires a side trip to the Underworld, he's stunned to encounter Dido, who died in despair after his desertion.
MORAL #1: Sometimes following your own destiny affects the fates of others as well.
MORAL #2: No matter how logical your reasons for visiting the after-life, don't be surprised if you run into some unfinished business along the way.
Over the week, it had become a pattern. Every night was another night without Atem. Every day was another day of burying himself in work until Kaiba was too tired to dream. Kaiba should have been pleased with the way his self-control extended even to his sleeping hours. He had vowed not to dream of Atem. It was another promise kept. Kaiba hurried from task to task as if he could run away from the knowledge it was a promise he wished he'd broken.
Kaiba turned back to his monitor. He had plenty to keep him busy. There was the space elevator for one thing. Countless scientific organizations wanted to use it. He had to set up a system to vet them. He had to decide if he wanted anyone but him to set foot up there at all.
"Nisama?"
"Hhhmnnn," Kaiba murmured. He'd forgotten that Mokuba was in his office with him. Again.
"It was fun, right? Digging up the Puzzle, setting up the tournament, breaking into Yugi's house, proving that you were right and everyone else was wrong…"
Kaiba walked over to the couch. He stood next to his brother. Mokuba leaned his head against his brother's leg as if Kaiba was a second and better armrest. Kaiba smoothed his brother's hair. It had gotten so short. Kaiba missed the wild, unruly mane. "I couldn't have done any of it without my vice president."
"Then talk to me! What's wrong, Nisama?"
"Nothing." Kaiba walked over to the floor to ceiling windows that lined his office wall and looked out. "I don't know," he admitted. "I came back and everything's the same. I didn't expect that." Atem was still dead. Kaiba was still the one chasing him, right into his dreams.
Mokuba followed him. He put his hand on his brother's arm. "What was supposed to change?""
Kaiba looked down briefly, then returned his gaze to the window. "I don't know," he said for the second time. He'd expected to feel different, he guessed. Victorious. Resolved. At peace with losing Atem.
Losing.
There was that word again. Kaiba had rejected the idea that losing meant death. But his adoptive father's dictum was horribly true if you flipped the equation: losing might not equal death, but death was undeniably a loss.
Kaiba walked back to his desk and sat down. Mokuba shrugged and returned to the couch. Kaiba frowned as he stared at his monitor, hoping Mokuba would think – or pretend to think – that he was scowling at the report on the screen. Kaiba refused to go backwards. He still wanted to see Atem. He knew that. He'd known it from the moment of turning his back on Atem after their duel. With every step, he'd fought the urge to turn around and demand a rematch.
Atem had told him at Alcatraz, that even if he won, it wouldn't matter, that Kaiba was trapped, that no victory would ever be enough.
He wasn't going to prove Atem right.
Kaiba wanted his last memory of Atem to be of the smile that had lit up his face when Kaiba had stormed into his hall.
He wasn't going to tarnish that. Even in a dream, if that was all he had left, he wasn't going to watch that smile turn into a frown of disappointment. Not for another duel… not even to see Atem again.
It was time to wake up. Atem was gone. Kaiba's life was here in this room.
Kaiba looked across to Mokuba. "Don't worry. I've got everything under control." He pushed back from his desk and stood up. "Come on, it's time to head home. When we get inside our gates, I'll even let you take the wheel. You can show me how much you've learned."
"Which car did you bring?" Mokuba asked.
"The silver Ferrari. Of course. It's the one you've been practicing on."
Mokuba narrowed his eyes as he assessed his brother. He suspected he was being bought off… or at least distracted. But he loved it when Seto let him drive, even if it was just from the gates to the garage.
Mokuba hid a grin. This was clearly the moment to see how far he could push things. "If there's no traffic after we clear downtown, I get to take the wheel before we get to the gates. And once we're on our grounds, I can go as fast as I want."
Kaiba considered Mokuba's counter-offer and then gave a quick jerk of his head. "Deal."
Mokuba bounded off of the couch. "Then, what are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road!"
Each night, Atem got ready for bed with an eagerness that embarrassed him. Kaiba never appeared, as stubborn and frustrating in slumber as in life. But Atem refused to give up. He roamed through his palace in his dreams, looking for something he'd misplaced. He ran from room to room, scattering precious objects in his wake, overturning pillows and furniture, victims of his frantic search. He finally left the confines of his palace, travelling further and further afield, as though he could escape his own kingdom. And then he was back among the stars.
But this time, he was alone.
Atem awoke with a gasp. Light slowly filtered into the room. He rubbed his eyes. Sometimes it seemed to Atem that seeing Kaiba, even in a dream, was the truest thing in his paradise-infused life.
Atem walked out to the courtyard to greet the dawn. Horakhty was there, floating in the air above him, shining as brightly as the newly minted sun. Atem bowed. She smiled down in response.
"I dreamed of Kaiba a few days ago," Atem said. "I don't understand. I helped him when he came here. Why is he unable to rest, now? Why is he still reaching out for me?"
"Was he the only one unable to rest? The only one searching for someone?"
Atem looked away, suddenly wanting to hide from her gaze. "No."
Horakhty smiled. "Was it a good dream?"
Atem gazed up at her. His face shone with her reflected light. "Yes."
"Then why are you seeking me out with the dawn?"
Atem stared at the sky as though he was still on the space station, as though Kaiba still stood beside him. "Night after night I keep looking for him in my dreams. He hasn't returned." Atem looked down again. "I won't see him again."
"Do you have so little faith in dreams?"
"I thought I would forget, that Domino would fade into memory. Instead even my dreams are real, as bright and vivid as my life here." Atem looked at Horakhty. "You're the only one I can ask. Diva talked about a collective consciousness, how our world is created out of all of our memories. Am I still a part of Domino? Is that the problem? Is that why I can't forget? Because I haven't been forgotten?"
"Is that what you want? To have your name erased from memory once more?"
"I did what I believed to be right. I fulfilled my mission; I followed my destiny, regardless of cost. I thought the gods wanted obedience."
"Usually. But that wasn't my question."
"I don't understand."
"What am I the god of?"
"You are the god of the pharaohs, of peace and the sun that warms us all," Atem recited. "And of a mother's love." He stopped and stared at Horakhty, suddenly aware of how little, even here, he remembered of his mother.
Horakhty nodded. "Exactly. I am your god, little pharaoh. And you still haven't answered: what do you want?"
"For myself?" Atem's lips twitched upwards. "You sound like Kaiba. He keeps asking that."
"Very possibly." She folded her arms across her chest; her hands disappeared into her bell sleeves.
"I never thought about it. I only know what I don't want. I never wanted Kaiba to mourn me."
"Didn't you?" Horakhty asked gently.
Atem pressed his lips together. He looked away for a moment. "It was a great joy to be part of their lives. And yet, such pain, for Kaiba, for myself, has come of it."
"We owe you much. Do you wish to forget them, to vanish from their thoughts, to have a foothold in one world only?"
He thought of Yugi, determined to move on, to let Atem fade into memory. He thought of Kaiba, who might never stop bleeding inside. Would Kaiba be better off if he forgot that Atem had ever existed? He shuddered at the thought of Kaiba's response, as loud as if he was standing beside him yelling in his ear. But it might be the merciful choice. He'd freed his partner. Maybe it was time to do the same for his rival.
"I didn't ask what would be best for your friends. This is your gift," Horakhty reminded him.
Atem shook his head. "No," he admitted. "I don't want to lose them."
"How can you lose what you refuse to let go of? The ties that bind you together are of your own weaving. Does that comfort you?"
Yami's smile was as sad as his tears. "Comfort has never been my object." He shook his head as he thought of Kaiba. "I don't want him to hurt."
"Some things are above even a god's power."
"Mahaad said something…"
"Mahaad says many somethings. Which one is troubling you?"
"He said I was brought here because I believed this was my destiny. What if I hadn't? Believed, I mean."
"Our need to believe is eternal."
"But what we believe… doesn't that sometimes change?"
Horakhty smiled her sphinx smile. She seemed to glow more brightly before vanishing. "So sometimes, does what we want."
It had been easy when Atem could tell himself that all he wanted was to make sure Kaiba was okay, that his eagerness was on Kaiba's behalf. But Horakhty's question: "What do you want for yourself?" had stripped that illusion away. He wanted to see Kaiba again. He couldn't pretend it was Kaiba's happiness he was thinking about.
Kaiba had taken a step towards him. What would have happened if he had completed the journey?
Domino University's one claim to fame was its engineering and computer science department. Half of Yugi's classmates were hoping to work for Kaiba Corporation one day. Yugi realized he shouldn't have been surprised to see Seto Kaiba on campus, but he was.
"Hey!" Yugi called out.
Kaiba spun around at the sound of his voice. Yugi wondered which one of them Kaiba was listening for.
Kaiba had ditched his Battle City outfit. The one he'd replaced it with made just as loud a statement. Yugi had to remind himself that dragons didn't exist because Kaiba's coat looked like it had been made from silver scales, from the peaked shoulders to the flaring hem. As usual, his coat seemed powered by its own internal wind machine. When Kaiba moved, the colors shifted, shading from silver to gray to blue and back again, as if a dragon's shadow was being reflected across its surface. Yugi resisted the urge to look up and check. He wondered if the new coat was a sign Kaiba was moving on... or if his obsession with dragons had simply grown worse. "It's good to see you," Yugi added.
Kaiba grunted.
Yugi tried again. "I've never seen you on campus before."
"The rector wants a donation. He seems to think an honorary doctorate is an acceptable quid pro quo."
Yugi took another look at Kaiba's coat and blinked. The rector was very formal… and always very conventionally dressed.
Kaiba shook his head. "Why would he think I give a damn about university degrees?" He looked at Yugi. Kaiba's eyebrows drew together. "Why are you bothering with this place? You could parlay your name into any development deal you wanted."
"I don't want to put my name on someone else's game. I want to design my own. I'm here to learn," Yugi said.
Kaiba stared, possibly shocked that someone couldn't code as easily as breathe. "Anyone at Kaiba Corporation could show you how to do that. Hell, Mokuba could teach the course."
"I'll keep that in mind if I get stuck."
Kaiba pulled out his phone and tapped for moment. Yugi's beeped in response. "I sent you Mokuba's number. Call when you have something finished."
Yugi didn't bother asking how Kaiba had gotten his number. He was Kaiba. Of course he had it. "Thanks."
Kaiba started walking with his usual purposeful stride. Yugi followed. He wondered where they were going. Yugi drew in a breath. "I'm sorry you never got to duel him again. I think he regretted that too."
Kaiba grunted. He could have told Yugi. But he hugged his knowledge to himself as if he was hiding Atem as well. Kaiba had once tried to keep Atem as a prisoner in the Puzzle. He wondered if this was any different.
They reached Kaiba's car. It was parked in the rector's spot. Kaiba grinned, briefly. "He wants a big donation."
Yugi laughed. As expected, Kaiba's car was sleek and powerful. Yugi tried to place the color. It was a mix of crimson and purple, soft but with a hint of blood. Something in it teased at his memory.
"Do you want a lift?" Kaiba asked.
"Thanks," Yugi said. As he got in, he realized why the color was so achingly familiar. It matched Atem's eyes. "I miss him, too," he said. It was something Yugi rarely admitted. But just as at the tournament where they'd faced Diva, something in Kaiba's raw grief soothed his own.
Kaiba pressed his lips together and stepped on the gas. They drove in silence. As he pulled up to the Kame game shop, Kaiba turned to Yugi and said, "I saw him."
Yugi's mouth dropped open. "Atem came here? How? He took the Puzzle with him…"
"Of course he didn't return." Kaiba scoffed. Atem would never have returned just to see Kaiba and Yugi should have known it. "I went there."
"You went… you went to the Netherworld? How?" Yugi reached out to touch Kaiba, needing to reassure himself that Kaiba wasn't a hologram that could somehow drive a car.
"I built a dimensional cannon." Kaiba smirked. "If I described the schematics would that sentence make any more sense to you?"
Yugi ducked his head. "How is he?"
"He said that he was fine."
"Good. That's what he told me too, you know... at the tournament."
Kaiba scanned Yugi's face. Yugi was smiling. His eyes were clear. Kaiba grunted. He'd given up his secret knowledge just to gain a more important clue: Kaiba knew something Yugi didn't. He knew what the words, "I'm fine," really meant.
Yugi put his hand on Kaiba's arm again. "I'm glad you got the chance to say goodbye."
"I went for a duel."
Yugi laughed. "Sometimes it's the same thing." Yugi opened the car door. "I'm glad, Kaiba. Truly."
As Yugi exited, Kaiba called out, "Yugi! I shouldn't have called you his vessel. You're more than that."
Yugi smiled. "Thank you," he said as he closed the door and headed for the game shop. It was only when he'd started work that he realized Kaiba hadn't said who'd won.
Kaiba drove back to the Kaiba Corporation garage. He hesitated for a moment. The usual pile of work was waiting in his office. He turned on his heel and headed to his computer lab instead. It was the first time he'd been back since he'd beaten the avatar he'd created to prepare for his duel with Atem. As soon as the door whooshed to a close behind him, the holographic Atem appeared. Kaiba stared at the dueling avatar in silence, then left the room. He went back to his office and locked the door behind him, glad that Mokuba was working on a project after school.
In the heat of the duel, it had been easy to dismiss the differences between the Other Yugi he'd known in Domino and the pharaoh he'd seen in the Netherworld. But now, weeks later, the gap between memory and reality gnawed at him. He could itemize the differences in his mind. The golden stalks of hair had been 5.08 centimeters longer and had flared more wildly. The skin was darker, HEX #C19B54 instead of Yugi's #E1BE9E.
Atem had been his rival. Beyond "brother," there was no higher title. What else about Atem had gone unseen?
None of it mattered. Atem was gone and the dueling avatar Kaiba had created was junk. It wasn't the real thing. Who cared if it was accurate? If he had any sense, he'd just delete it. Maybe then he could go to sleep without craving and fearing his dreams, without analyzing all the things he'd missed, all the ways his memories hadn't prepared him for meeting the man he'd defied time and space to find.
Kaiba looked out the window, surprised to note that the sun had set. It was time to pick up Mokuba. He could have taken his car, the one that matched Atem's eyes, but he called for Isono to drive him instead.
He got into the back seat of his limousine and stretched out his legs.
"Do you want to get some rest before we pick up your brother, sir? Should I raise the privacy partition?" Isono asked.
Kaiba shrugged. "Leave it down." They drove in silence for a few minutes. Then, Kaiba said, "A few days ago… I had a dream."
Isono's hands tightened on the wheel. Dreams were rarely good news. "Yes, sir," Isono replied. It was the safest answer.
"It wasn't a nightmare."
Isono nodded.
"I was in my space station. I was with… it doesn't matter who else was there. We were talking."
"About?"
"Stuff. That doesn't matter either. It was like talking to myself, except he was there." Kaiba pressed his lips together. Even in the darkened car, even to Isono, who'd proven that, unlike Atem, he wouldn't cut and run out on him, Kaiba was unwilling to mention the strange sense of exhilaration he'd felt, as if his own internal firewall had been turned off for the night, leaving them free to say and do anything...
"Was it a good dream, sir?"
Kaiba's lips twitched upwards before settling into a frown. "That doesn't matter either. Dreams aren't real. They're just a randomly running subsystem of the waking default cognitive network."
Isono nodded. "As you say, sir."
"I suppose you think you know what I was dreaming about and why… I bet you think you've got it all figured out. But you're wrong," Kaiba snarled.
"I would never presume to tell you what meaning to attach to your dreams, sir. That is for you to decide."
Kaiba smirked. "Right. And I say it doesn't mean a damn thing." Kaiba leaned his head against the window. Isono drove on in silence.
Kaiba closed his eyes and compared Atem to his dueling avatar again. His dream had been accurate in all the ways his memory hadn't.
Atem had been smiling up at him in his dream, smiling as though they were the only two people in the universe, which Kaiba supposed they were. Somehow, Atem's smile in his dream melded with all the times he'd seen Atem smile at him before.
Kaiba had spent days trying to push away the memory of his dream… of Atem walking towards him, of Atem reaching out for him. Kaiba smiled. Now he was glad he hadn't succeeded. For the first time, he was eager for the day to end, eager to sleep, again.
Eager to dream.
Kaiba and Isono picked up Mokuba. Mokuba pouted when he saw the limousine; he was hoping for another chance to drive. But he greeted Isono politely and got in the backseat with his brother. They drove home.
"Drop us off at the garage," Kaiba ordered Isono when they entered the grounds. Mokuba beamed up at him.
They got in the silver Ferrari and headed out. If the driving lesson and dinner out afterwards were bribes, they were both too smart to mention it. Kaiba realized that he couldn't keep pacifying Mokuba with cars. But figuring out a long term strategy could wait until tomorrow. It was finally time to sleep.
Kaiba got into bed and closed his eyes. He opened them, looked around and smiled. He was back at his space station. He walked to the windows and stared at the stars. Kaiba breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the slap of sandals on the metal floor behind him.
"I've been waiting for you," Atem said.
Kaiba turned from the window. "That's what you said when I showed up in your Netherworld."
Atem grinned. "It was true then as well." He paused, then added, "I've been hoping you would come here."
"Why?" Kaiba asked. Even in a dream, it seemed too much to hope that Atem had been thinking of him, that Atem had gone to sleep wanting to see him.
"I need to know that you're alright," Atem answered.
"Of course I am," Kaiba sneered.
"I'm serious. When you came to my palace, I hoped that I helped you find some peace. When you left, I thought we'd never see each other again. Kaiba, how are you?"
Kaiba ground his teeth together. What was the point of finally giving in to sleep, if Atem was here only because of some misguided sense of obligation? Kaiba paced the floor, before turning back to Atem. "We're on a space station. You're covered in gold." Kaiba gazed at Atem, drinking in every detail of his gold and blue and white splendor, at the purple cape flowing down his back like a shadow. Kaiba swallowed, the sound audible in the quiet room. "Look at me. I was in bed a minute ago. Do you think these are my pajamas?" Kaiba glanced down and shook his head. He was in his Battle City gear, but it was an imperfect replica. The coat was as silver as a dragon's scale, the fine metal mesh achieving the suppleness of cloth. "I'm in fucking armor and leather boots. What more do you need to get it? This is a dream. The normal rules don't apply. We can say anything. And here you are repeating the same old shit."
"Kaiba, I am being honest." It wasn't the whole truth, Atem knew that. But he clung to the few certainties he had. He cared. He was at fault. He had to help fix this. "I never wanted to hurt you, but I did and we both know it. I saw it when you walked into my hall. I hoped it was just bravado driving you, but it wasn't. Of course I'm worried."
Kaiba closed his eyes. Maybe this was a nightmare after all. Maybe the thought that Atem had wanted to see him just because Kaiba was important… just because Atem missed him… was nothing more than his own pathetic fantasy. Kaiba opened his eyes; they gleamed like lasers in search of a target. "Are you daring to pity me, again? Is that what you see when you look at me – an obligation to be crossed off your list, a child to be pacified and forgotten? Are you denying that I'm your equal after I beat you in a duel? Get this through your head, pharaoh – I don't want your help!"
Kaiba turned on his heel and stalked away, only to remember that this was a dream. There was nowhere to go.
Atem shook his head in frustration. His earnings hit the side of each cheek. This was turning into a rehash of all their worst fights, the ones where they talked past each other, where they stretched further apart with each word. This wasn't what Atem wanted, this wasn't what he'd hoped for through each night of fruitless searching. "Kaiba!" he yelled, his voice tight with frustration. "Why are you here?"
"Why are you?" Kaiba parried. "Was your first answer your only one? Because I owe nothing to someone who came here out of guilt and pity." His smile flashed out, hard-edged as ever. "And that would be a waste of a dream."
Atem drew in a breath and closed his eyes. Kaiba's words, "This is a dream. We can say anything," echoed in his ears, the warning bell for a second and final chance. "Whether you want to hear it or not, I do care. I do want to help. That's who I am and you know it and I will never apologize for it, even when that hurts your precious pride, but that's not the only reason..." Atem started.
"Is that what you think this is about? My pride?" Kaiba snarled. "When I saw you, when you said you were glad to see me, for one crazy moment, I thought you meant it. I should have known better than to believe in dreams, I should have..."
Atem held up his hand. "Kaiba, for once in your life, listen!" Kaiba fell silent. Atem continued, "I'm here because this is my dream, too. Because I've done everything asked of me in both life and death. And now a dream has brought me to a place that is beyond either. Maybe I should hope that you'd forget me. Maybe I shouldn't want anything beyond the chance to help. But I'm selfish. I wanted to see you again. I wanted to hear your voice, even when it's shouting belligerent nonsense." Atem crossed his arms and faced down his rival. "Kaiba, why are you here?"
Kaiba glared at him. "This is a dream. You can say anything," he reminded himself. "I didn't sleep for days, just to put off dreaming. I told myself over and over that I didn't want to wind up here ever again. I kept repeating that to myself, as if I could sledgehammer it into my brain and drive all thoughts of you out of it, until I finally knew that this was one battle I didn't want to win, that this place, here with you, was exactly where I wanted to be."
"So, what happens next?" Atem asked softly.
Kaiba shook his head. "With anyone else, I can see 12 moves ahead. With you, each time I climb over one obstacle, the entire chessboard changes."
"Not totally. One constant remains. We're both here," Atem reminded him. "We both want to be here. We both know that, even when we don't know anything else."
Atem took a step towards him. Kaiba stared at him, frozen. The last time this had happened, their dream had shattered as swiftly and surely as a wine glass falling onto a stone floor.
Atem paused, then took another step forward and another. He stopped and held out his hands, and smiled, waiting for Kaiba to join him.
Kaiba drew in a breath. This is a dream, Kaiba reminded himself. He took one stumbling step forward, then another. Kaiba reached out for balance and grabbed onto Atem's shoulders. Atem was solid. Kaiba bowed his head in thankfulness or some other emotion he'd spent his life avoiding. He held onto Atem, then pulled him closer, something Kaiba had never done – or imagined doing – in life. Atem stood there, looking up at him, unable to turn away as if Kaiba was more compelling than the galaxy outside.
Kaiba's fingers tightened on Atem's shoulders. His legs trembled until he was shaking too hard to stand. Kaiba's breath came in great, gulping gasps, burst out of his throat in something perilously close to sobs, although his eyes remained dry.
Atem stood still, almost afraid to breathe for fear of shattering this moment, this dream. He looked up, but if he was trying to see Kaiba's eyes, he was foiled by the heavy fall of Kaiba's bangs. Atem grabbed Kaiba's torso at the sides, anchoring him, holding them both up together as if they'd fall separately.
Atem had hugged Yugi, he'd hugged Jounouchi, he'd hugged Anzu. He'd shattered Kaiba's heart, he'd almost killed him on Pegasus' tower... but except for the occasional brush of fingers as they exchanged cards, the bump of a shoulder or thigh as they sat next to each other in a helicopter or a plane, this was the first time they'd touched. Almost unnoticed, one hand slipped around to stroke Kaiba's back. Atem curled his head against Kaiba's chest, never so keenly aware of the difference in their heights. If this was a dream, he should be taller, Atem thought. But he could hear Kaiba's heart beating and something felt right about snuggling so tightly against his rival's body, like a key and lock clicking into place.
Kaiba's breathing evened in response to Atem's rhythmic caresses, even as his confusion grew. Atem had always been able to do this to him – make him acutely aware of how little he knew or understood… about life and about himself most of all. Was this what he'd wanted without knowing it, ever since he'd crashed his way into the Netherworld? Had he been reaching out to Atem to duel... or had he simply been reaching out?
"You smiled at me when I barged into your palace," Kaiba said.
"I'm smiling now."
"That was real."
"This is real too."
Kaiba stared at Atem, his eyes wide and a little blank. "No. This is a dream," Kaiba stated.
And because it was a dream, Kaiba let himself do something he never would have allowed, awake. He let himself feel desire.
Kaiba closed his eyes. He could almost hear a nonexistent wind ruffling through Atem's hair, could almost smell the hint of cinnamon, could feel the silken softness of skin over muscle. He opened his eyes to meet Atem's gaze.
"This is a dream," Kaiba repeated.
And because it was a dream, Kaiba relaxed into Atem's embrace. He lowered his head. It was a chaste kiss, closed-mouthed, the mere shifting of lips over lips. It was too delicate a kiss to remain unchanged.
Kaiba lifted his head. "This is what dreams are."
"They truly are a gift from the gods," Atem said in wonder.
"Or a collection of random neurosynaptic signals that happened, against all odds, to line up in just the right way," Kaiba replied.
Atem chuckled against Kaiba's chest. "Or that."
"For once I don't care which it is," Kaiba said.
Yami reached up to caress Kaiba's cheek, to trace the curve of his lower lip, before drawing Kaiba's head back down to his and claiming Kaiba's lips again. Atem was surprised at their softness, at their pliancy, where he'd expected only hardness from Kaiba. Atem stood on tiptoe to taste Kaiba's neck, to run his tongue along the underside of Kaiba's jaw. Kaiba shivered in response.
If this was a gift, Atem thought, as his smile turned impish, he wanted to unwrap it. Atem reached up, grabbed Kaiba by the collars of his shirt and pulled them in opposite directions. Buttons went flying, baring Kaiba to the waist. Kaiba looked down, momentarily distracted. When had his turtleneck changed to a silk button-down shirt, let alone one with suspiciously shoddy workmanship?
Atem smirked up at him. "Who knew that dreams could be so convenient?" he asked before returning his attention back to Kaiba's body, tracing its contours with his tongue.
Kaiba's answering grin was equally smug. "Two can play this game." A flick of his wrist and Atem's Puzzle, still attached to its chain, was at Atem's back, no longer an obstacle. Kaiba pushed Atem's cape to the floor, where it lapped at their feet like a purple wave. Another gentle push and the top half of Atem's garment slid to his waist, exposing his torso, except for the heavy band of gold resting on his collarbones. "Exquisite," Kaiba murmured as he claimed Atem's lips once more, deepening his kiss, as if this was something he'd done for years, instead of the first time.
He pulled Atem even more tightly into his arms, until they were pressed together, skin to skin, from head to waistband. Atem's hands reached up to caress the flat planes of Kaiba's torso, to touch his nipples, to tease them into small spikes. Kaiba gasped, sensations flooding into a touch-starved life.
Kaiba's only consolation was that Atem was just as stunned, just as shaken. He looked at Kaiba as a drowning man might look at a thrown rope, unsure if he was being led to safety or into deeper water, unsure if he wanted escape or surrender.
"I've been given everything… and I want more," Atem said, still staring at Kaiba with those drowned eyes.
Kaiba smiled, a gesture disconcerting in its gentleness.
The last time, their dream had snapped with the suddenness of a rubber band breaking. This time, it faded. Their only warning was a softly glowing light, before they found themselves in their separate beds, each achingly alone.
Kaiba sat up with a groan. His sheets fell around his waist. His bare chest glistened with sweat. He shook his head as the familiar walls of his bedroom replaced the space station windows and the stars.
It had been his first kiss. It had been a dream. It had felt so real.
Kaiba ran his tongue over his lips. He could still taste Atem. He reached out blindly. He was alone in bed, but his body still tingled everywhere Atem had touched him, still ached everywhere Atem hadn't.
Kaiba's breathing quickened. He fought to control it. He hadn't had one of those dreams in ages. He froze as he finally identified the shadowy figure that had dominated them throughout the years. He raced to the bathroom and heaved into the toilet, not sure what he was trying to expel – his own weakness in enjoying every one of those caresses or the realization that Atem was truly gone, that he was alone.
Kaiba brushed his teeth, then stepped into his shower and turned on the water. He soaped himself, as if he could clean away the memory, even as his hands unconsciously mimicked Atem's movements, running over his chest, caressing his nipples in imitation. The entire encounter had been tinged with danger, but he'd felt safe. He'd felt free. He leaned against the wall as his hands drifted lower, as his imagination took over where memory left off...
Kaiba got out of the shower on shaking legs, toweled himself off and got back into bed, ready for once to go back to sleep. He felt vaguely comforted as he drifted off… almost as if he wasn't alone.
Atem sat up with a gasp. He looked around the room and groaned. Stepping towards Kaiba had felt so natural, Atem hadn't questioned why he was moving until Kaiba had ended up in his arms.
If he closed his eyes, he could still feel Kaiba's body pressed against his, could still feel Kaiba's mouth crashing down on his for the first time.
Atem had expected Kaiba to taste spicy or salty, but his kiss had been sweet, gentle almost, until it had heated with the passion of a duel.
But that sweetness had come with a price.
Atem raised his fingers to his lips as if he could still feel Kaiba's pressing down on them He swirled his tongue inside his mouth, trying to convince himself he was tasting Kaiba, again. He reached out, and as his arms closed around empty air, he ached with the loss of Kaiba's body.
Nothing had ever felt less dreamlike in his life, no sensation more immediate than the ones he'd just shared with Kaiba. And now he was back to an eternity in paradise without the man who'd made him, briefly, even in a dream, remember what it was to live.
.
Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: There's a real freedom for me in how much about Yu-Gi-Oh! is left to the reader's imagination. Not only are the big questions, like what happened to Kaiba at the end of the movie left open, but so are smaller more intimate ones – like how would Yugi adjust to starting college? Or to life on his own? Would he – or Ryou Bakura for that matter – still hear echoes, still listen for a second set of footprints? Why does Isono keep working for Kaiba? Is the pay really that good? Or is the bonus sometimes hearing the thoughts his boss will only say in the privacy of his office or limousine while Isono pretends to fade into the background? The thing I love about fanfiction is that you don't just get to explore all of these questions, big and little – you get to write a story and show what the answers could look like.
AENEID NOTE: I read The Aeneid in high school and when I was thinking about stories involving visiting the Underworld, it popped into my head. Which means that my English teacher was correct in saying that the things you learn in high school may come in handy after you graduate… although I'm not sure fanfiction usefulness was what she had in mind.
HORAKHTY NOTE: I once read this list of the things Horakhty is in charge of. I dutifully wrote it down for future reference and just as promptly forgot to bookmark the site. So, I'm not sure how accurate the list is and it isn't mentioned in canon at all, but I decided I liked it.
SOCIAL MEDIA NOTE: I am on Tumblr, Dreamwidth and Pillowfort as Nenya85. Come check me out there!
To paraphrase Louise Rosenblatt, "A story's just ink on the page until a reader comes along to give it life." This is my way of saying that I'd really like to know what you think.
