Honeymoon Avenue, Xallxaboutxusx, xscreamingxangelx, AodIva1978, 1234567890, LittleMissVcotrious, princess-of-snow12, asuka hara, courtsXbatfan, ameha kay, Victoriousforever10: Sorry if I did anything incorrectly in your names, I'm in a huge huge huge hurry! I'm going somewhere boring so I wanted something to read while there. Thanks for reviewing! Keep it up!
Only Girl In The World
Digidestend Angel
I Do NOT Own Victorious or any of the songs
…
Chapter Four
Confusion
…
That weekend after their first lesson, Cat met up with Jade and the boys for drinks at Confidential. The paparazzi were all over them, but she shrugged it off. If she was going to be the choreographer for this famous boy band, she had to understand that they were going to be surrounded by ignorant idiots who only gossip and invade people's privacy for a living just to make a buck. Beck made sure to sit by her, and she didn't know why. He said he just felt like it. She reminded him she's engaged. He sighed deeply, looking irritated.
What the hell was his problem?
They just met a week ago!
Cat shook it off and looked to Jade. "Why do you love this place so much?" Cat asked over the classy music.
Jade shrugged. "I don't know. It speaks to me." She said overdramatically and then grinned to Cat, who rolled her eyes. "I like it because it's just a calm atmosphere, I guess."
Cat nodded. "Understandable."
"How was your trip, Cat?" Andre asked from across the table.
Cat smiled, thinking about Dean. "It was wonderful. It was nice to see Dean again one last time before he left for Las Vegas."
"Don't even think about going to see him." Jade warned her. "You're entire life will now revolve around these three boys." She motioned to Robbie, Andre, and Beck.
"I know, I know." Cat giggled. "I can still miss him."
"So Cat, how long have you been with Dean?" Beck asked suddenly.
Cat raised an eyebrow. "Um…6 months." Before Beck could speak again, she stopped him. "Let's stop talking about me. Remember rule number 5." She said nervously, since she really wasn't comfortable being around and even talking to Beck Oliver, considering the major fact that he knew her deepest secret that just about sent HER over the edge. "Um, Jade, any boyfriends since I last saw you?" Cat asked, sipping on her drink. As the conversation went on, the gang actually was having a good time. Beck loosened up, as far as Cat could see, which was fine with her. Cat finally stood up after a while. "I better head home. I left Precious by herself and also, we have a long day tomorrow."
"That's right!" Jade said, standing with her. "You boys be at her studio at 10am SHARP!" She yelled, making them shiver. "So be there, or else you'll be hearing from me." She threatened. "Anyways, Cat, I'll share a cab with you. Let's head out." She looked back at the boys. "You better not stay out too late! I don't want to get a call from Cat that you weren't there OR you had a hangover!" With that, the two ladies left.
Beck looked to Andre and Robbie suddenly. "Guys, there's something wrong with me!" He said out of the blue.
Andre and Robbie had wide eyes. Beck had never sounded so distraught and desperate before. "What the heck is up with you?" Robbie asked.
"Okay, I was totally cool when I was on my way to Cat's studio the first time. The second I laid my eyes on her…I don't know…I felt funny." Beck confessed. "It was like…I don't know! I can't explain it!"
"Aw, Beck has a crush on our choreographer!" Andre teased.
Beck kicked him from under the table. "Shut up, man, this is serious! I've never felt this way about a girl before."
"That is serious." Robbie thought about it. "Well, it's not like you can do anything. She's in love with her fiancée."
"No, she's not!" Beck suddenly blurted out. "I talked to her that day you guys met her and she realized that she and Dean have never confessed that they love each other."
"Whoa." Both boys breathed out.
"That's exactly what I thought." Beck leaned back in his seat. "I'm going crazy."
"Yes, you are." Robbie nodded. "But you can't do anything, Beck. Don't confuse the girl. She's already upset that her fiancée is traveling around the world and she can't be with him, so she needs some peace in her mind."
"Yeah, we need to make things easy for her." Andre said after finishing his drink. "We should probably leave before I order another." Beck ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Man, look…take Robbie's advice. Leave it alone." Andre told him. "You never know. Things with Dean may not even work out."
Beck sighed and put on his jacket. "Let's hope. With that huge ass ring on her finger, we'll see. Okay, let's go out the backdoor. Call the limo driver."
…
Cat went in early to the studio the next day, this time she brought Precious. She took out her small, soft bed out of her duffle bag and put it next to the stereo. "There you go, girl." Cat cooed with a smile as she laid her puppy down. "You can just relax and watch mommy, okay?" She said, petting the dog before getting up and hooking her iPod to the stereo's speakers. She sighed. She needed some downtime to herself. She picked out Halo by Beyonce, stretching a bit before pressing play.
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby, I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby, I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away
Cat did a few cartwheels with no hands before hopping like a ballerina would.
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
I can feel your halo
I can see your halo
Halo, ooh ooh...
She spun around on her tippy toes while the other leg was curled up against her.
Soon she finished the song and collapsed on the ground, tears streaming from her eyes. She was quietly sobbing. Everything was so out of place now. She hated questioning her life. Did she love Dean Houston? Or did she love his wallet? Did she just love getting all the diamond bracelets and expensive purses from all sorts of brands? Or did she seriously love him for him? Damn Beck Oliver. He just had to make her life SO much more complicated.
Cat stood up and changed the song. She needed to get her anger out.
She picked a song that was actually the karaoke of it. She cleared her throat before pressing "PLAY" on the remote.
She took a deep breath and began singing at the top of her lungs. "I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go…" Cat held her fist to her mouth, pretending it was a microphone as she stared at herself with intensity in the mirror. "There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more…" Cat held the long note, walking up slowly to the mirror, still staring into her own eyes. "I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing…" Cat stood before the mirror, singing to herself. "I'm wanting more
I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed...YEAHHHHH! OOOHHH, WHOA, WHOA, HOOO! There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more…more…ooohh, yeah…hey, hey…
There's gotta be more…hmm…hey…ooohhh." The music eventually stopped and Cat was out of breath, glaring at herself in the mirror. She sobbed and leaned against it, curling up in front of it.
"Cat?"
Oh, not him!
Anybody, BUT him!
She faced away from him, trying to wipe her tears. "It's only 9:30. You're not supposed to be here till 10. So leave." She said, with her voice cracking.
Beck stepped closer. "I can't do that. Not when you're practically having a breakdown. What's wrong? Talk to me."
Cat scoffed, finally facing him. "Why should I talk to you? You don't even know me."
"I obviously know a lot more than I should." Beck said, his eyes filled with concern. "Cat, I know something's wrong. I'm not going to leave it alone until you talk to me. Are you alright?"
"You do realize I hate you, right?" Cat said with venom. "This is your entire fault anyways."
"My fault?"
"Yes, your fault!" Cat snapped, standing up to her feet and facing him. "If you hadn't pointed out about Dean and I…not…being in…you know…whatever! If you hadn't said ANYTHING like you shouldn't have, none of this would be happening! I wouldn't be constantly crying! I wouldn't doubt everything Dean and I have EVER shared!" Cat groaned in frustration. "This is all just turning into one big NIGHTMARE! You know what? I quit!"
Beck's eyes widened. "What? Quit? No, no, no, Cat, you can't!"
"Give me one reason why I shouldn't." Cat asked him.
"Because the guys love you. I love having you as our choreographer." Beck pointed out in a serious tone. "You're patient with us, you tolerate us. You're sacrificing your entire life just to help us. You're going on tour with us in a few weeks. You've done so much for us. Why would you throw ALL of that away?"
Cat sighed deeply, holding herself. "I guess I won't. I did promise Jade I would stick it out until the end of the tour."
"Exactly." Beck sighed in relief. "Look, Cat…I'll stay out of your personal life with Dean and stuff from now on."
Cat looked to him. "You promise?"
"I promise." Beck nodded, giving her a smile. "But if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here. I'm a great listener and I keep good secrets."
"I'm sure you do." Cat said sarcastically before opening her binder. The other two boys walked in, looking giddy. "Why do you three always look so flippin' happy ever time you come in here to rehearse?" Cat asked in surprise. "I try SO hard to be an evil witch to you three so I can gain your respect…so why are you guys so happy?"
Robbie shrugged. "I like coming here to dance and stuff. You make it fun."
"By being a drill sergeant?" Cat asked in confusion. "Alright then." She shook it off. "I guess I have to be 10 times worse of a bitch to you guys. Get ready for your worst nightmare. Let's get to work."
"Hey, Cat, how come you look like you've been crying?" Robbie suddenly asked.
Cat glared to him. "Allergies. I don't cry. I don't even know what it's like to cry. I have no heart."
"No heart?" Beck questioned, just to get on her nerves.
"Yes." Cat growled. "Get in your formation for warm-ups!" She screamed out, the boys startled at her outburst and rushing to do so. She's tried too hard to stay in her safe emotion shell. She couldn't let her true self show.
Never again.
