Surprise, no more hiatus! :P check out my Big Time Bang fic? If you like kames, you'll like it. I hope. I realised this is the only chapter so far with no sex, which is somewhat disappointing XD hopefully though from next chapter onwards I'll be back to that routine, I just wasn't feeling it for this one. Enjoy!
Something was noticeably different.
At first, James didn't completely realise it. It was just a little thing in the back of his mind that cropped up every now and then and prodded him until he was forced to ponder over what was bothering him. It first came up at breakfast, when he decided to eat downstairs with his employees. Some of them had been wild with chatter and energy, which he always enjoyed in the morning. It helped him wake up a little. But then there was Kendall, quiet and reserved in his chair as he munched on his toast and said more or less nothing for the whole meal. It was somewhat puzzling, but James went to his office afterwards to work, and the thought vanished entirely from his mind.
In the middle of the afternoon, James was in the middle of working when Tad walked in, bringing him some lunch on a tray. "Hi, Tad," he greeted politely, putting his papers aside and smiling gratefully as Tad placed the tray on his desk. "How's everyone after the party last night? I know it was pretty long. Very loud. Probably tiring."
"Oh, we're alright," Tad replied half-heartedly, stepping back. "Thanks for asking."
James looked up at him again. "Are you sure? You seem a bit . . . off." He frowned. "Is something wrong with anyone?"
"No, no!" Tad shook his head, stepping further away and smiling widely and nervously. "We're all fine, honest. Enjoy your lunch, Mr Diamond. Call us if you need anything else." Then he shut the door firmly behind him, and James could hear him hurrying off down the hallway. He glanced down at his food, puzzled and curious. What was going on?
After he'd eaten, he brought the tray downstairs himself so he could find out. He waked into the kitchen and placed it on the counter. "Mercedes?" he greeted the girl standing at the sink and washing the dishes.
"Oh, hi Mr Diamond," she chirped somewhat less enthusiastically than usual. "Can I help you with something?"
"I was looking for Kendall," James said, feeling slightly embarrassed and not knowing why. "Is he around?"
"I can get him for you," Mercedes replied, stepping back from the sink and drying her hands with a dishcloth. "Are you gonna wait here?"
James nodded, and she left the room. He leaned back against the counter, sighing and looking around. The kitchen was always kept very neat; he knew that even though he din't often come in here when it was empty, he'd be able to find everything with no trouble. He knew that his employees, what with ten of them working in there at different times, wanted to keep everything in a proper designated place. It was a god system that they followed. He'd been accustomed to the same things when he was growing up in Minnesota.
"Here he is," Mercedes announced, walking in with Kendall before returning to her dishes.
Kendall stood there in his t-shirt and jeans, hands behind his back. "You wanted to see me, master?" he said meekly, eyes on James' shoes.
"Um, yeah. Follow me."
Kendall did, and the two moved into the hallway, where they were alone. "So, listen," James began, wringing his hands together. "I just wanted to see how you were."
"Oh." Kendall shrugged. "I'm fine."
"You sure?" James frowned. "I'm sorry for last night. I didn't think about what I was dong."
"Really, I'm fine."
But James wasn't convinced. Kendall wasn't looking him in the eye, and he was mumbling his answers unenthusiastically. James wasn't an idiot. "I'm not an idiot. And you know what? Frankly, I don't get what the massive problem is. Maybe I went a little overboard but at least I didn't fucking murder you, did I?"
Kendall's eyes widened. James bit his lip. Shit.
"No," Kendall whispered. "No, master. You didn't murder me. I accept your apology." And he turned and sprinted upstairs, breath ragged and footsteps heavy.
James stood there in the hallway, puzzling over what he'd said. What on earth was he thinking . . .?
He wasn't thinking. He never did, really.
He could still hear Kendall's screams and cries.
But he could also still see Hawk's smirk, and it angered him all the more. He didn't understand any of it.
"James!"
James looked up towards the stairs. At first, he was mildly surprised to see Logan standing there in a pair of borrowed sweats, hair a mess. He'd obviously stayed the night. Carlos had probably set him up with a guest room and given him clothes to wear. "Afternoon, Logan."
"Kendall just ran past me," Logan replied bluntly, stopping when he reached James' level. "He looked upset. Is there something you wanna tell me?"
"Why do you assume it's my fault?"
"I think you know the answer to that. Go on."
James sighed, and explained to him, in very vague detail, what had happened the night before. No details at all, really. Today's conversion and his observations, however, were explained in full.
"You have no idea, do you?" Logan demanded, staring at him incredulously.
"No idea of what?"
"How terrified he is of you! Oh my god, James!" Logan facepalmed, running his hand up through his messy hair before continuing on the same biting tone. "You've got such a big head you think you can just do whatever the fuck you want, don't you? Carlos told me what you did last night. Everything about it."
"I . . . how does Carlos know?"
"Kendall told him, you know how close they are. I'm sure the rest of them have some rough idea too. What were you thinking?!"
"I, I was drunk," James tried to retort back. But he hadn't been that bad, and he knew it too. Maybe it'd given him a bit of boldness, a bit of recklessness. But they were his actions, and he'd acted consciously. He felt guilt setting in. "I was jealous . . ."
"You can't go around treating them like that, James," Logan told him, hands firmly gripping his shoulders. "Look, I know you own them and everything and it's your right and blah blah blah, but they're human beings too. I feel like you're forgetting that. You scared the shit out of him, then you went and brought up his ex, for the second time in two days? Not to go all teen on you but seriously man, that was not cool."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not the one you should apologise to."
"But I already did apologise to Kendall! Then I fucked up by bringing up that asshole Wayne again and I wrecked things for the second time." James sighed dismally. "I don't want him to think I'm a bad person."
"Why does it matter so much?"
"I don't know. It just does."
"Well, why don't you show him you're sorry? Go out and buy him something nice, it's not like you'll miss the cash."
"But what kind of thing? Like, a phone or something?"
"No, no. Whether it's expensive or not, you have to put some thought into it. Otherwise your apology means nothing, and it won't help at all. Just go out to a mall somewhere, walk around for a while, look at the store windows and really think about it."
"Okay, I guess I an do that . . . I'll go now!" James wandered out over to the coat rack to grab his jacket, Logan following him. James turned to face him. "You can stay here while I'm gone if you like."
"Well, if you insist." Logan smirked, winking at him, before waving and heading off into the living room. James went up to his office and grabbed his wallet and car keys, putting them carefully into his jacket pockets and zipping them in, before leaving the house and getting into his car. Every time he left his home, as he drove down the driveway and off down the rod, he always felt a little more lonely, and a little isolated. It was a strange feeling that he always tried to neglect or to push away.
He drove to the Palmwoods mall, finding a decent parking space close to the door and locking his car after him. He walked inside, ears instantly buzzing with the loud chatter and laughter of families and friends all around him. Going to the mall had been a favourite activity of his when he was younger. But his mother had always thought they were much too noisy, and much too wild. He sighed and walked further in, glancing at the shops windows. Shirts, shoes, sweatpants, jewels, watches, perfumes, toys . . . so much to choose from. He felt dizzied and overwhelmed by it all. But the whole time he could feel the wheels in his brain spinning slowly, mechanically. Something that showed he was sorry, and that he had thought about what to get him. Something that as soon as he saw it, he knew Kendall would like. To show that he cared.
This was so complicated.
Suddenly he collided with a body softer than his, coming face to face with a very pretty girl. "Sorry," he said quickly, stepping out of her way and stumbling a little. He turned around and squeaked in surprise as he almost collided with a brightly lit store window. His eyes widened. It was a knick-knack sort of store from what he could see. Lots of little ornaments, things like paperweights and lamps and pretty pens. And bookends.
James knew Kendall liked to read. Loved it, even. Any time James had stumbled upon the blond somewhere in the house with no work to be doing, he was sitting curled up with his nose buried in a book. He looked so content and peaceful that James didn't want to disturb him, and often left him where he was. He had a lot of books, and James also knew his because he rarely saw him with the same one twice. He got through them at an impressively quick pace.
James walked into the store, eyes falling straight on his desired shelf and headed over. There were several different sets of bookends; fairies, unicorns, kittens, comic book characters. But the ones that really caught James' eye were a pair close to the back. One end was black, wth a piano protruding from it and each key daintily painted. A man in a top hat sat on the stool and played some sort of song. The other end was painted white, and a girl with long curly blonde hair sat playing her own piano in a pretty blue dress. They were cute. It was thoughtful. James picked them up carefully and brought them to the counter to pay.
When he left the mall, bag carefully held on his hands, he tried to imagine the look on Kendall's face when he unwrapped them. He prayed and prayed that it would be a positive reaction, and that Kendall wouldn't hate them and fling them right back at his face. He drove home.
Later on, after dinner, he decided it was time to give Kendall his gift. He had it in the living room, waiting for him. He spotted Kendall sitting at the counter with Carlos and talking to him, eagerly but in a quiet, almost unnocitable way. Carlos was listening intently. Of course, James hated to interrupt a good conversation, but . . .
"Kendall!" James called. "Can you come in here for a minute?" He stood in the doorway of the living room and waited, watching as Kendall swallowed and got up slowly, walking over to him with his left hand clenched around his right forearm. He looked drained.
"Yes, master?" he said quietly.
James winced; he'd almost forgotten that. "I just want to talk to you for a sec." He tugged Kendall into the room and shut the door behind hm. Kendall stood there, a slight tremble in his knees. "I really am sorry," James said earnestly, lifting Kendall's head up to ensure the blond kept eye contact wth him this time. "I know I overreacted, and I had no right to hurt you that way. I also had no right to bring up . . . well, you know. I was being a dick. I know I'm your boss and your master or whatever but that's no excuse."
"It's okay, really . . ."
"I got you a present."
Kendall's eyes widened. "A present?"
"Yeah." James picked up the bag and handed it to Kendall before leading him to the couch and sitting down with him. "To really show my apology, I gues. I hope you like it."
Kendall took the packaged gift out of the bag carefully and began to unwrap it, long fingers plucking carefully at the thin rustling paper. He let out a little gasp as he opened it fully and took out the bookends, holding them in his hands. "Oh, wow . . ."
"I, um . . ." James" cheeks flushed. "I know you like to read a lot. I figured you might like them in your room."
"I love them, they're so cute." Kendall grinned down at the little piano playing couple, cheeks pink. "They're beautiful." Then he put them down on the coffee table and quickly leaned forward, giving James a fleeting hug. "Thank you. And I do forgive you. I promise."
James hugged him back, burrowing his cheek in his soft hair. "That's all I could ask for."
