Alright guys, here is a nice little Christmas crack chapter. Enjoy and Merry Christmas!


Chapter Four: Crackfest Christmas.

Setting: AU, two years after Total Drama All-Stars.

Genre: Romance/Friendship

Pairings: Noah/Gwen, LeShawna/Duncan, Owen/Izzy, Bridgette/Geoff.


It was 5PM on Christmas day. There was nice little suburban house. Light streamed through the windows into the dark outside, and sounds of laughter could be heard from within.

A car pulled up into the driveway.

"Man, do we really have to do this?" Noah complained, getting out of his very nice, very warm car and out onto the frosty gravel of Bridgette and Geoff's driveway.

"Yes," Gwen chided, getting out of the drivers seat.

Noah watched as his girlfriend of eight months walked to the trunk and got out the bag of gifts for the people indoors.

"Y'know," Noah said as Gwen approached him and slunk her arm through his, "if someone had told me that I'd be hanging out with people from Total Drama on Christmas day two years ago I would've laughed at them."

"Quite rudely, I'm sure," Gwen agreed, walking arm-in-arm with her boyfriend to the front door. "But you haven't even complained that we're going here, so I doubt you're too upset."

"No, it's fine," Noah admitted, "it'll be good to see people. Even if we do hang out with Bridgette and Geoff a lot, it'll nice to see Owen and Izzy."

They approached the front door and Noah rapped his knuckles against the wood. A few seconds went by before a beaming Bridgette opened the door.

"Noah! Gwen! Merry Christmas!" the blonde smiled, enveloping first Noah and then Gwen in a hug.

"Yes, yes, Merry Christmas," Noah said impatiently, though the smile on his face gave him away, "It's really cold out here."

Bridgette punched his shoulder playfully, "Alright, Mr. Whiny, come on in you guys."

The two walked through the threshold and into the cozy house. Bridgette let them through the kitchen into the living room, where Owen, Geoff, Izzy, and DJ were relaxing.

"Little buddy!" Owen squealed, hefting his large self off the couch and rushing Noah with the force of a linebacker. "It's so good to see you! Merry Christmas!"

After Noah was released and could breathe again, he greeted his longtime friend. Izzy had also come to greet them and Geoff and DJ were playing a football game on the television.

"C'mon Geoff, we have company," Bridgette scolded, "and it's Christmas! Turn the TV off."

"Hey babe, if you didn't want me playing this you shouldn't have gotten it for me for Christmas." Geoff grinned mischievously, though his grin fell as DJ took the lead.

Bridgette's face morphed into a scowl, and Geoff got the message.

"Alright, alright," Geoff sighed, grabbing the remote and clicking the TV off. He turned to Noah and Owen. "Don't ever get married, dudes." He said in a loud whisper. "Save yourselves while you still can!"

Bridgette smacked the cowboy hat off his head and Geoff flinched, chuckling. The blonde sat down on the couch and curled up next to him.

"Where are LeShawna and Duncan? I thought they'd be here by now." Gwen asked, squeezed in between Noah and the arm of the couch they were sharing with Owen and Izzy.

"They got caught in traffic, apparently someone got in an accident on the highway." Bridgette told her.

"Merry Christmas to them," Noah quipped. Gwen laughed.

"I see you've long stopped trying to shut him up," Izzy cackled, springing up and draping herself across Owen and Noah to look up at the goth.

"There are a few things in life that are certain and indisputable. Noah coming up with poor-tasted, sarcastic dark comedy is one of them." Gwen told her.

Noah clutched his nonexistent pearls in mock offense, "poor-tasted?"

Everyone laughed.

"But in all seriousness," Bridgette's tone was anxious, "dinner will be ready in half an hour, I hope they make it on time."

"They'll be here," DJ assured her with a smile. "Is anyone else coming?"

"I don't think so," Geoff said, "Justin flew home to Hawaii this year and Cody is at his girlfriends parents." He turned his attention to Noah and Gwen, "you guys want something to drink?"

"Yeah I'll take a vodka tonic, thanks." Noah said.

Gwen got a glass of cabernet.

"Get me a beer too, bro!" Owen called as Geoff entered the kitchen. He pat his gut, "I wanna get tipsy tonight!"

"I think you'll need a few dozen before that happens." Gwen joked.

Owen guffawed loudly, "You're probably right."

Geoff came back with a bunch of drinks and a tray of snacks. "Dig in, dudes."


"Damn it!" Duncan cursed, tapping the steering wheel in irritation.

"Pfft, getting angry ain't gonna do nothing." LeShawna told him from the passenger seat, "besides, its just another two miles until our exit, we'll be there soon."

The two were currently stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic and had been for the past forty-five minutes.

Duncan sighed and thumped back in his seat.

"Easy honey," LeShawna told him, reaching out with her hands and bringing them down onto Duncan's shoulders. The angle was awkward, but Duncan let out a sigh of contentment as she began to knead his tense shoulders. "Told ya I should've drove. You just get all stressed out." She smirked.

"Troublesome woman," Duncan rolled his eyes, "you can drive on the way back, happy?"

LeShawna just laughed.


Knock knock.

Bridgette stopped her hysterical laughter at the story Geoff and Owen had been telling and stood up quickly. "Oh! That must be LeShawna and Duncan! Yay!" she hurried over to the front door.

A few seconds later she came back with LeShawna and Duncan.

"Hey everybody," Duncan greeted, shedding his coat. "Don't bother getting up."

"Wasn't planning on it." Noah snarked. "Merry Christmas you guys."

"Merry Christmas," LeShawna agreed, shifting the large bag of presents that was in her arms. "Where can I put this, Bridgette?"

"Under the tree is fine," Bridgette told her, "can I get you guys something to drink?"

The two put in their orders and Bridgette went to the kitchen to make them.

"So," Izzy said as the punk and ghetto girl got themselves settled in. "I didn't even know you guys were dating until Big-O told me. How long have you crazy love monkeys been going at it?"

Duncan rolled his eyes as Noah and Gwen fake-gagged. "We've been going out for just over two months."

"Yeah, but we've been crazy love monkeys longer than that," LeShawna teased, enjoying the way Duncan's face became red.

"Shut up," He muttered as Geoff and DJ cackled with laughter.

Bridgette came back with the drinks and looked around at the laughing boys, "What'd I miss?"

"Nothing important," Duncan said quickly, reaching for his drink and taking a hefty sip.

"If you say so. Dinner is about ready guys, so lets take a seat. C'mon, shoo." Bridgette began ushering everyone towards the kitchen table.


Dinner was a pleasant and hilarious affair, as was to be expected when the gang of long-time friends got together. Owen ate four times as much as everyone else and Izzy ended up throwing a slice of pie at Duncan, but other than that everything went smoothly.

Several hours later and several drinks in, it was time for the Secret Santa that Bridgette had set up.

"Alright, who'll go first?" The blonde asked, a twinkle in her eye.

"Ooh! Ooh! I will!" Owen cheered, "Pick me! ME!"

"Alright Owen, who did you get?"

Owen ran over to the cute Christmas tree Bridgette and Geoff had set up and rummaged underneath it, eventually pulling out a soft and lumpy package and tossing it DJ's way "Heads up, dude!"

A smiling DJ caught it easily. He eagerly tore open the paper and gasped at the nice hoodie that came out. Pictured on the front was his bunny friend from Total Drama Island.

"This is awesome, dude!" DJ blubbered, using the corner of the hoodie to dab at his moist eyes.

Owen teared up too, "you got it, dude!" They engaged in a bro hug, both struggling to keep the tears in.

LeShawna, Duncan, Noah and Gwen were all laughing.

"Alright, DJ," Bridgette continued once the two boys had collected themselves. "You're up."

DJ nodded and got a bag from under the tree. He handed it to Geoff, "Merry Christmas Geoff."

Geoff grinned eagerly and opened the bag. He pulled out a shiny bottle of clear liquid. "My favorite tequila! Aw hell yea, dude!" He put the bottle down and grabbed his own package, a medium-sized box. "This one is for you, Duncan."

Duncan took the box from Geoff and opened it up. He let out a low whistle when he saw what was inside. "Dope." He pulled out the speaker set. "I can't wait to install this in the car," he grinned.

"Thank a lot," LeShawna rolled her eyes, "now I won't see him for two days. He'll be out in the cold working on that."

Duncan wrapped an arm around her and planted a kiss on top of her head. "Don't worry, I'll make plenty of time for you." he wiggled his eyebrows.

"You better," LeShawna told him.

"Gross." Noah groaned.

"Anyway, Gwen I got you, I hope you like it." Duncan said.

Gwen looked at the collection of old horror/slasher movies. "This is great," she grinned, "we're totally having a movie marathon tonight," she told Noah.

"Nothing like a bunch of blood and gore to get me in the Christmas spirit," Noah agreed.

Gwen poked him in the ribs and he almost spat out his eggnog. Grinning slyly at the glare she was getting, she reached into her own bag and brought out a large box. "I didn't really know what to get you Izzy so I sort of gambled. I hope you like it."

"Ooh! Big box! Yay!" Izzy grinned, bounding over to the goth and tearing through the paper eagerly. She gasped in awe. "Oh YAY!"

"Do not open that in our house," Bridgette warned.

Izzy, who had already started opening the box that had her large Nerf gun, stopped and pouted. "Why not?"

"Cause we value our lives," DJ cut in.

Izzy seemed to think about that for a second, then nodded. "Fair enough!" She then giggled as she grabbed Noah's small present and handed it to him.

Noah looked hesitant. "Giggling is always a bad sign, I don't want to get blown up."

"Aw, just open it you big-foreheaded baby!"

Noah sighed, resigned, and opened the present. He did not look amused. "Haha, a photo of Cody getting his ear kissed by me. Hilarious. It's not like I haven't received the same present from you for the past three Christmases or anything."

Meanwhile, Izzy was rolling around the floor, laughing her head off.

Noah shook his head, bemused, and got his gift out. It was an envelope. He handed it to LeShawna.

"A gift card to a salon." LeShawna noted as she took out the small plastic card. "How characteristically lazy."

Noah just snorted, "shut up. I know you like it."

"I do," LeShawna admitted, "thanks, Stringbean."

"Last gift of the night!" Geoff announced, "then its time to party!"

LeShawna and Duncan were both smirking as they handed Owen his gift. The big guy eagerly opened it up and looked confused.

"Edible panties?" He said, puzzled. Then it seemed to dawn on him what that meant, and he turned a very dark shade of red. "OH!"

Everyone in the room had subsided into laughter except Owen and Izzy, who had beamed and said "Awesome, thanks guys! This'll be fun to use!"

After everyone had calmed down, the talking and drinking resumed deep into the night. It was a very Merry Christmas indeed.


Well guys, I hope you enjoyed! Just a little fluffy fun to celebrate Christmas.

Incase anyone was wondering or cared, in this story the couples stood as such:


Noah/Gwen - Dating for just over eight months.

Duncan/LeShawna - Dating for two months, though had been fooling around for seven months prior.

Bridgette/Geoff - Married for three years.

Owen/Izzy - Dating for eighteen months.


I hope everyone here has a Merry Christmas (or whatever it is you celebrate)! I'm hoping to have the next chapter of Despair Island up by January 1st, for anyone that might be wondering where that it!

Ciao!