Sorry for how long it's taken to update. Christmas is a busy travelling time for me. Have lots of family to visit over the holidays. But here is chapter four. I'm getting more and more ideas for this story so it isn't done yet.


"No! You are not sticking me with anymore needles or tubes or doing whatever experiment you want to today! If you don't back off, I swear I will reprogram every droid in this place to give every doctor a rectal exam…without lubricant!" Han growls as he sits on the edge of his bed in the med center. He'd been awake for a week and all they had subjected him to was test after test. He swore if they took anymore blood he would be sucked dry. He was tired and bored and sore. Plus it didn't help his mood any that he remembered why he was here in the first place. He hated thinking about it. His son…no. No he wasn't going to think about it. Out of his mind. Nothing to think about. The scar on his chest was nothing. Meant nothing. He growls again, his eyes daring the young doctor in front of him to just try and come near him with that syringe.

Xander Rous'e looks at his patient and sighs. "No need for threats. We are only trying to make you better. The fact you're having numbness in your limbs and headaches are a concern to us. Plus you won't eat anything we give you."

"Because it's all garbage and it won't stay down anyways. Where are my clothes? I want to get out of here." Han says as he pushes himself up onto unsteady legs. He was getting out of this place, even if he had to do so in this medical gown.

"Captain Solo. You need more time to recover."

"No. I. Don't!" Han says every word slowly and clearly, though with an underlining warning. He was through being their experiment. This was why he hated med centers. They always had to hold you for longer than needed and had no qualms with poking and prodding a person until they couldn't take anymore. Well he wasn't going to let them anymore. He was fine. He could get through this on his own. Wasn't much different from when he had been released from the carbonite. Least he could see this time.

"Yes. You. DO!" Leia says as she walks into the room. She gives a kind smile to Xander and then the smile disappears as she looks back at Han. "You intend to leave here like that?"

Han glances at Leia, a sour expression still on his face. "Yes. Seeing as no one has my clothes. I'm done with this place."

With a deep sigh of annoyance, Leia looks at Han's personal doctor. "Would he be well enough to at least leave here and come to my quarters?"

Xander looks at the data-pad in his hand, then up to the General. "Well…I suppose if he wasn't going to do anything too strenuous and got plenty of rest and…" This time Xander looks pointedly at Han, a stern look on his face. "actually ATE something, then I would let him go."

Han forces a smile, though it doesn't reach his eyes. "Good! So I'll sleep and eat. Now can I go?"

"Han…"

"Leia…" He says in sort of a mocking way.

Leia rolls her eyes and sets Han's clothes she had brought him on the bed. She then turns to Xander and again smiles. "I promise he'll eat and sleep. If there is any problem he'll be coming right back here. Right, Han?"

Han looks up as he finishes pulling on his pants, the ones with the blood-stripe, and does them up. He smiles sweetly and nods. "Sure thing, Sweetheart." Although he really had no intention of ever returning here again, no matter how he was feeling.

Leia couldn't help feeling her stomach flip a little as she sees her husband once again wearing his blood-stripes. It had been one of her favourite fantasies before they'd gotten together, him wearing just those pants. And when she'd lost him after Ben turned to the dark side…well she'd caught herself staring at those pants hanging in the closet numerous times.

Han's lips move into his trademark lopsided grin as he catches an oh so familiar look on Leia's face. "See something you like, Princess?" Now he was sitting on the edge of the bed again, this time pulling on his boots. It hurt to bend over like this but he doesn't let on that he was feeling pain. Instead he finishes the task and then pulls the offending med gown off and tosses it onto the bed before grabbing the white shirt Leia had brought for him. He notices a few things were missing, like his jacket and gun belt.

Snapping out of her memories, Leia tries her best to hide her blush at being caught ogling her estranged husband. She shakes her head at Han and then turns to Xander. "Thank you for all you have done. You have my contact number if he is needed for more tests."

Xander finally relents and nods. "Alright, General. I will have his meds sent to your quarters along with a copy of his treatments and schedule. And the records you requested." He then turns to Han. "And I know you probably won't listen but I hope you follow orders and try to eat and rest. Your body went through something quite traumatic and it needs time to heal." He sees Han wave him off with a mumbled 'yeah, yeah', so he sighs and turns to leave. At the door Xander stops and turns around as he remembers something. "Oh yes. Captain, I do hope you rethink not taking therapy. Your mind will need help healing too."

Han snorts as he stands from the bed, his legs shaking a little but not as much, seemed he was getting control over his body again. Good. "I don't need therapy. Where's my blaster?"

Xander looks to Leia and shrugs, then back to Han. "Just think about it, Captain. Good luck. And I'm here if any problems arise." He says goodbye to Leia, then exits the room. He'd never met a more stubborn patient than Han Solo.

Leia turns to Han and raises a brow. "Was that really necessary?"

Han moves around the room, checking the closets and drawers for his blaster and holster, as well as his jacket. He also pockets a few of the hydro-syringes he encounters in one of the drawers. "Yep. I've been here long enough. Where's my stuff?"

Leia walks over and reaches into his pants pocket, ignoring Han's surprised smile, and pulls the syringes out, setting them back into the drawer he took them from. "Your things are back in my quarters. And yes, that includes your jacket. Now come. Hey!" She smacks his hand lightly as he tries to grab a few more medical items. "Why are you trying to steal that stuff?" she asks as she grabs his hand and starts leading him from the room.

Han pouts slightly and lets her pull him out of the room. "I might need them for the Falcon. And since my wife is in charge of this base I don't see it as stealing." He moves to walk beside her down the hall, so glad when they are finally out of the medical building. He takes a deep breath of the fresh air, noticing it was colder than it had been when he last remembered being here.

"One, before they left, Chewbacca and Rey had the medical stores refilled aboard the Falcon. And two, just because I am in charge of this base at the moment does not mean you have free reign to pick and choose what you want. You remember how military bases run, Han. I know you do. And this one, thanks to the First Order, has lost a major government supporter in the New Republic so we are having to scrounge a bit."

"Ah just like the old days isn't it?" Han grins as he looks around, watching the pilots and personnel moving around, and going about their duties. "Speaking of, when are they bringing my ship back?"

Leia stops as an officer comes to her and hands her a shipping manifest to sign. She reads it over quickly and then hands it back to the officer with a smile before beginning to walk with Han again. "When Rey is done finding Luke."

Luke. He hoped the girl found his brother-in-law. He missed the kid terribly. Well not a kid anymore. "You hear anything yet? About how Luke is I mean?" He still felt bad that he'd blamed Luke for Ben's fall. It hadn't been the Jedi's fault; it was all just…bad luck. Han really wished he could have contacted Luke and said he was sorry for everything he'd said to him, but then Luke had disappeared and no one could find him, so like the guilt he felt about Ben and leaving Leia, he had buried it all down inside and forgotten about it. Until of course something, like seeing Leia again, had brought it all back. He was trying his best to forget it all, but it was like a big black hole in his heart, eating away at him. It was why he wanted the Falcon back, so he could leave and return to what he knew best, smuggling.

Leia shakes her head, walking down a well worn path towards the officers' barracks where her own quarters were situated. "No. Nothing since they left."

Han nods, looking at anything but her. He felt that awkwardness he'd felt when they'd first seen each other again over a month ago. It was strange. At one point in his life, Leia had been everything to him, his best friend, his confidant. He didn't know when he'd lost that, and it truly bothered him. He hated feeling awkward, yet…here they were, barely talking, no longer holding hands. What had happened to them? He wanted to fix it, only how did one go about doing that? They talked, but not like the conversations they used to have. It was like there was a window between them and they could see each other, could hear each other, but they just couldn't get through to each other. It hurt, the distance between them.

Leia's thoughts were similar to Han's, only they included thoughts and memories of when they were actually a family. Those happy times when while she was pregnant with Ben, Han would take care of her, bringing her whatever she asked for, rubbing her sore and aching back and feet when she'd been working too hard. The conversations they used to have when she couldn't sleep and he had insisted on staying away with her. Then the times when Ben was a baby and she'd caught Han singing to him, or reading from, of all things, a schematic manual for the Falcon, telling their baby son that someday he would inherit the bucket of bolts. Or how it had been Han that was always able to get through to Ben when he was angry or throwing a tantrum. What had changed she wondered…why had their happy, good life been shattered? She knew why, but it was still so painful to think about. She missed her son, she missed her husband. She missed her brother too. She missed the life she used to have. And she was just…tired of all the fighting. But she knew that she couldn't give up yet, not until she had her son back and the First Order was gone.

Stopping outside a doorway she turns and looks at Han. "You will be telling me if you need medical attention, Han."

Han snorts and rolls his eyes. "You know that Force stuff doesn't work on me."

Leia scowls slightly. It was true; Force suggestion had never worked on Han. But she wasn't using the Force on him, she never would. He knew that so it annoyed her that he would think she would. "I mean it, Han. Anything, I want to know about it." She turns then and runs a small plastic square over a sensor beside the door, waiting for it to slide open before she steps inside, the lights automatically coming on, though the windows allowed some light in as well.

Following Leia inside Han raises a brow at the sparseness of the main room. There was a sofa and a few sitting chairs to one side of the room, and on the other side there was a small kitchen area with a table surrounded by four chairs. Everything was coloured in a dark green color, he supposed to match the forests around the place. "Nice place. Bigger than your room on Hoth." He walks over to the refrigeration unit in the kitchen and opens it up.

"Make yourself at home. Bedroom is through that door; your things are in there. Refresher is there. You've seen the rest."

Closing the fridge, Han turns and looks at Leia, a cold bottle of his favourite Corellian ale in his hand. "Either you had this planned for a while, or you've taken a liking to my ale. What's the deal?" He frowns as Leia comes over and takes the bottle from him, placing it back in the fridge and taking out a small bottle of something else. She places it in his hand and gives him a stern look. "I enjoy a drink once in a while. And you are on medication until you decide to finally eat something. Drink that. It has plenty of nutrients and vitamins and you should be able to keep it down."

With a sigh Han looks at the bottle. Ration drink. Really? He hated that stuff almost as much as he hated ration bars. And she knew that. Shaking his head he sets it aside, not hungry enough to actually try some of the ration drink. Instead he changes the subject. "You even live here? Not too many pictures of your family."

"You know as well as I do where I keep those pictures, Han." She gestures to the bedroom, and then moves to take a seat on the sofa, patting the spot beside her. "Sit."

"Yes, your Worship." He smirks and sits beside her. "Bet you're glad I'm stuck here."

"Yes I am." She says with all honesty. When Han looks at her she shrugs. "I'm not going to lie to you. I missed you. You know that. The fact I get to keep you around for longer is something I'm going to cherish."

"Cherish, really?"

Leia sighs at the way he was acting. Like she had before when he'd shown up with the rest of her pilots. Awkward. She knew Han better than anyone; she knew what he was doing. So she leans over, takes his face in her hands and kisses him. She smiles against his lips and pulls back when he responds to her. "Yes. I love you; I want my husband to stay with me. You don't need to run, Han. Like I said before, we're in this together. I need you here."

Slipping his arms around her, Han smiles, instantly feeling that awkwardness leave. "You need me here?"

"I need you with me."

"Well then I suppose I could stick around. Maybe help out with your Resistance a bit." He grins more when he sees her eyes light up, he missed that look.

"Great! Because I need someone who can help me with the pilots. Plus, if we have any chance of bringing Ben back…what?" She had felt him stiffen when she mentioned their son. When he pulls away from her and gets up, with just a bit more difficulty than usual she notices, instantly she knows she'd hit on a rough spot with him. She should have known. "Han…we can still bring him back."

"Really?" He spins on her, and then quickly takes a seat in one of the chairs across from her, dizziness forcing him to sit once again. It also didn't help that pain had shot up his back. But he ignores all that and leans back in the chair, one hand resting on the arm rest while the other he used to cover his face for a moment. When he finally looks back at her he frowns. "I'm sorry. I just really don't want to talk about…that right now."

Sitting back herself, Leia crosses her arms over her chest, knowing if she allowed it, Han might just close himself off to anything to do with Ben, he already had once. "When will you talk about our son, Han? When he's dead? Or when Snoke takes him away from us completely."

"What's the difference? And besides, as far as he's concerned, I'm dead remember?" He hated talking about this, and he wanted to get up and just leave; only he couldn't. For the moment he was pretty sure his legs would give out if he got up. He could still feel a slow, throbbing pain in his lower back. All healed up was he? He didn't think so.

Leia frowns, shaking her head. "That was not Ben."

"Oh? You were there were you?" His voice was rising, as was his anger, and the headache he was developing. "So then who exactly was it that used my love for them against me and stabbed me through the chest? Hmmm? Could have sworn it was OUR son."

Leia was letting her own anger rise, but before she allows it to cause yet another fight between them, she closes her eyes and uses the techniques she had learned so long ago to calm herself. Fighting with Han wasn't going to solve anything, nor was Han totally in the wrong for feeling anger or hurt towards Ben. The scar on his chest was proof of that. After she calms down, she opens her eyes again, looking over at Han, who now had his head turned to the side and was rubbing his eyes. A headache. She knew the signs well. Getting up she goes into the refresher and retrieves a couple of pain pills. Returning, she takes the bottle of ration drink and moves over to where Han was sitting, holding both the pills and the drink out to him. "Here." She watches him take both the pills and the drink, knowing he had to be in some pain if he was actually drinking the ration drink. He hated that stuff. She moves around behind him and the chair and reaches down to start massaging his neck and shoulder muscles, feeling how much tension was in them. "I know, Han…I know what he did. It was so wrong in so many ways. But…you said you'd forgiven him."

With a grimace of disgust, Han forces himself to down the last of the ration drink, knowing taking those pain pills would be a problem if he didn't have something else in his stomach. Setting the bottle aside on the small table beside his chair, he turns his body and leans back so he could look up at Leia, while still allowing her to continue what she was doing. It helped with the pain, so much. It always had. She knew just how to make everything better. As soon as she had offered him the pills and drink, his anger at her had started to disappear. And when she'd started to help ease his pain with the massage, well he couldn't be angry with her. He loved her too much and he knew deep down that his anger was more pointed at himself. He needed to not take it out on her. She felt just as hurt as he did by their son's actions. He could see that on her face now as he looked up at her. And she was right of course. But…he still didn't want to talk about it. So he tries once more to change the subject. "You know you're beautiful." He smiles softly, his words the truth.

Leia smiles and leans down, kissing him lightly on the forehead before straightening up and resuming massaging his shoulders. "Thank you, Dear, but no changing the subject. You said you'd forgiven him."

Han sighs, but doesn't move, his eyes still on her. "Yeah…I thought I did. Maybe it was because I was dying and figured that I had helped him somehow. He asked me for help, you know that." He moves his head, looking down at his hands that were now resting in his lap. "I…just don't know what to think anymore. I kind of hope this is all a dream and I'll wake up and be back to when he was a boy and happy."

Leia leans down and kisses the top of his head, her hands sliding down to meet at the middle of his chest in a loose hug. "I know. I wish that sometimes too. But…do you really think he's gone? That there isn't any hope for him?"

Reaching up he places one of his hands over hers. "I…can't really say. I thought maybe with my death he'd…I don't know, snap out of it." He leans his head back and looks at her again, smiling slightly. "Guess that's not how all this works is it? You know, I still say the Force is out to get us."

Leia can't help but laugh. "Maybe. A lot would probably agree with you." She leans back and moves one hand up to his greying hair, her fingers softly moving through it. His hair was always so soft. "But, at least this time, I got to have a little more time with you so that is one good point. How's your head?"

"Better." His eyes were closed. He was enjoying feeling her touch again. He hadn't noticed just how much he had missed it. Her touch was like sunshine after a long, dark winter. After a moment of silence between them, he opens his eyes again and looks up at her. "I don't know if I can accept our son still has light in him, Leia. Not right now anyways. But if there is, if Ben is still there, I will help you get him back. It's just going to take me some time to get used to him trying to kill me."

Leia nods, moving her hands off him and then walking around in front of him. "Han, we will get him back. And I understand. But next time, we'll do it together. I'm not going to let you face him again without me. I shouldn't have let you go alone in the first place."

Han could see the guilt on Leia's face, and since the pain meds were working he slowly gets up, standing before her and softly caressing her cheek with one hand. "Sweetheart, you didn't know he would do that. I've always been able to get through to him before. It's not your fault, Leia." He takes hold of her chin and tilts her head back, leaning down to kiss her softly before pulling back. "We'll do this all together. It's what we should have been doing from the beginning. Only I couldn't handle things and went off to bury myself in what I did best. Smuggling."

"It's not what you did best, Han. It's just something you knew would keep you busy. I meant what I said. I need you. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you again."

"You won't lose me, Leia. I don't plan on going anywhere." And he knew those words were true. Even if he felt the need to run again, to distance himself from the pain, he knew the pain of being away from her, possibly never seeing her again was far worse than dealing with his own emotions. So he wasn't going to leave, not without her. Not ever again.

With a smile, Leia pats him on the chest. "I've heard that one before." She turns to walk away from him only to have his arm wrap around her waist and pull her back, turning her so she was facing him again.

"I mean it. I'm here, with you, for good. No running this time, no hiding. You're stuck with me, Princess." He pulls her tight against him, smiling at her now. "For better or for worse."

Leia can't help but smile, her hands sliding around his neck to play with his hair on the back of his head. "Yes? I'm sorry but that doesn't sound like a promise to me? You're going to have to prove it." It was strange, how they both could switch from anger to love in a matter of moments. But that was how their relationship had always been. Arguing one moment, making love the next. Some would say that was dysfunctional, a bad relationship, but Leia knew, as did Han, that under all the arguing they did, love was always present. Even when he left her, she had never stopped loving him, as he had never stopped loving her. And of course, the desire for each other had never died. Even at the ages they were now.

"Prove it?" He was feeling a lot better all of a sudden, not that he was thinking about that. All he knew was he wanted to see the inside of Leia's bedroom, and he was backing her towards the door. "I don't have a ship so I can't leave. What more proof do you need?"

Leia knew what he was doing; they'd played this game many times over the years. So with a smile she moves backwards, leading him as much as he was leading her. "I know for a fact you can fly any ship, Han. X-Wings, A-Wings, you name it. So the excuse the Falcon isn't here doesn't work on me." She feels the door to the bedroom behind her and stops. "I'm sure you'll figure out something." The fact he was still recovering wasn't occurring to her. That had something to do for sure with the man currently pressed up against her.

With that lopsided grin on his face he reaches for the handle to her, no their bedroom door. "Hmmm…I think I can come up with something. Provided you help that is." With one arm keeping her tight against him he opens the door and moves her over the threshold.

Leia smiles, stretching up so she could kiss his stubble covered chin. "I'd be happy to help." She lets out a very unlady-like giggle as he closes the door behind them with a hard shove. It had been years since she had felt his touch in intimate ways, so she was going to enjoy this. She hears a soft beeping from the outer room, the sound muffled by the door. Catching his look she just reaches up and takes his face in her hands. "Ignore it. This is my time with you and no one is going to interrupt." With that said she leans up and kisses him with all the pent up passion and love she had for him.

Han was mildly surprised that she hadn't rushed from the room to answer the comm. However, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, at least where Leia was concerned, he just nods and returns her kiss. This was their time together, and they had waited long enough for it to happen. And so he lowers her to the bed, following after her, intent on proving to her, at least in one way, that he was never leaving her again.


There you have it. Chapter four. There is much more to come so stay tuned. Oh and Happy New Year everyone!