Previously in "Our Kind Of Love":
"I still don't think that he is good for you.", I said in a small voice, trying to not sound as crazy jealous as I felt.
She smiled at me with her bright eyes and took my hand on hers and squeezed. "I know. But you don't call the shots here, anymore.", than she sighed, runnning her other hand on her face, trying to make the tears that were still there to go away. She kept smiling at me when she talked to me again. "I'll see you soon, Finn."
I squeezed her hand back just as strong as the pain in my chest felt when I heard the truth in her voice. I really didn't want to let her go to him. I really didn't. But it was time.
I love you... "Yeah, see you soon, Rachel..."
And, with that, she started to make her way back to the parking lot. To Jesse's arms, to her new life that she was making for herself.
And I stood there like a statue, watching the best thing that ever happened to me make her way out of my life.
I just really love you... Can't you see?
Rachel POV
I couldn't believe it yet, the day I had. Finn was UNBELIEVEABLE! And not in a good way, this time.
Argh! I felt so tired, so drained out that - as soon as we got in front of my house - I broke down.
Jesse just sat there the whole time, in the car, holding me tight agaisnt his chest, running his hands from my hair to my back, trying his best to sooth all my worries and my pain away. He has been amazing like that. Just like he was before everything went to hell, last year. I still remember his promise, after we talked for a long time and he apologized for everything and I apoilogized too.
"Rachel, I know that you probably hate meright now and you have every right to do so, but... I-I don't know. I was so so wrong, doing the things that I did and I was just so selfish... I wouldn't forgive myself, if I were you. But, what I hadn't realized at the time was that I was in love with you.", he said, his eyes extremely anxious, like I've never had seen before. It startled me.
Jesse loved me? How...? When...? What?
"I really was, Rachel and maybe I didn't want to see it, but I was.", he said, reaching out and keeping my hands protected between his. His gazed turned, looking at our hands together, and I saw a little adoring smiling starting to show. He was looking at that scene like that was the most precious thing in the world. It made my heart warm up. "And I still am... And I know what you had been through and all about Finn as well... I mean, I know as much as people were willing to say, but I can figure out things for myself... I'm rambling, aren't I? Oh God. My point is, I know, Rachel. I do. But... If you can find some other feeling for me in your heart that it isn't bad, if you still like me - even just a little- , if you could just give me a chance... Rachel, I-I... I can prove it to you that I can do better this time around. And I'll do everything in my power to win your heart back. If you could just...", he shut his eyes tight, trying to get a hold of himself and it sort of made me smile a little. He looked so cute. I've never saw him like that... Do you think you can? Can you find it in yourself the will to give another chance? Do you still have any sort of feelings for me? Please, Rachel...", he said, looking up and locking his gaze back with mine, his pleading look making me shiver.
I didn't know what to say. Yes, I could forgive him. I knew that he was being sincere and, well, seeing what happened in the last few months, I knew wuite well how badly someone could be in need of forgiveness. And how it felt when you couldn't get it. I knew what it was like to feel so terrible sorry for a mistake that you made towards someone that you love. And Jesse said he loved me. And he needed this now. I could do it, right? I could forgive him. But give him another chance...
I gave his hand a gently squeeze before I turned to speak. "Jesse, I think that already forgave you a long time ago. Maybe, in some weird level, I was able to understand what had got into you to make you do such a horrible thing, but...", I said, now my eyes mirroing the pleading look that he weas giving me. I didn't want to hurt him. He has been nothing but sweet and caring and I didn't... Oh God, why everything always has to be so hard?
"But...?", he prompted, trying to coach the words out of me. Jesse was really different. He had left Ohio like a sick self centered bastard with no heart and came back this whole new person. And he said that it was because of me. That he missed me.
"I like you. I really do. You're an amazing singer and your perfomances are always flawless and I honestly feel my knees go all weak when I watch them...", he smiled, "but... That's just why I can't give you another chance. I like you, Jesse. And I don't want to hurt you by giving another chance when I'm still in love with someone else. Even when this someone is doing his best to erase this love out of his life. I just wouldn't be fair. And it would be such a hurtful and selfish thing for me to do, to let you mend what someone else broke.", I said, hoping that he could understand my reasons.
"Well, Miss Berry, with all duo respect, I accept your premisses but I'll have to reject your conclusion.", he said, his smile growing just as I caught a glimpse of light sparkling in his eyes. He was... hopeful? Happy? I couldn't name that emotion. "Rachel, I don't care. I know already everything that you just told me, but I don't care. The only thing that I care is that you like me. You still like me. And all I'm asking here is if you like me enough to want to be with me again. That's all."
"Jesse, it wouldn't be fair to you and I don't wanna...", I started again, getting more anxious. I don't wanna make him suffer. He shook head and put a finger on my lips to silence me. His smile grow kind and even more caring that I believed it was possible.
"Rachel, I know what I'm getting myself into. But I promise you that I'll do my best to make you love me again. I just wanna make you happy. Pleas, Rachel. Just, please, say that you'll give me another chance. Please, just say yes.", he spoke back, his voice, just above a whisper, his face getting closer and closer to mine. I didn't know what to do. Or what to say, really. I mean, I wasn't lying to him. And I really do still like him, I would be lying if I said I didn't. And Finn is with Quinn, now. And nowhere near to forgive me. So... What did I had to lose...?
"Okay...", I breathed out, while his lips got even more impossible close to mine. And, before I could think about anything else, he kissed my brains out of me.
But not before I saw that stupid ass smirk gaining full force when his lips met mine.
And, just like that, Jesse and I were together again. Jesse had been so thoughtful all the time, so gentle and patient with my and this whole mess. I just really didn't want to hurt him. I really didn't. And I couldn't only imagine how this might be hurting him. I just couldn't help it. Finn just know too well his way back under my skin. I hate this! I hate this!
Getting a hold of myself, I pulled away a little, looking up to his worried eyes and offering him a small smile. "Thank you... I'm okay now.", I said, in a small voice, holding his hand to reassurance. I needed him to know that, no matter what I felt for Finn at his point, I'm with him, now.
I inspected his appearance . His jaw was tense and he seemed edgy. Damm it! He's angry with me. "Jesse, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to upset you...", I started to say, but he instantly shook his head and put to finger on my lips. It silenced me.
"No, Rachel. Don't apologize. I'm not upset with you. I mean, yeah, is not the best feeling in the world when you're girlfriend get this worked up about her ex, but... I'm angry with Hudson, not you. He was way out of line, back there, and I just didn't beat the crap out of him right there and then because I just didn't wanted to get you even more upset. And, to be honest, I'm still trying very hard here not to just drop you off and turn around and bring his sorry ass to the ground. The guy is a jerk!", he explaned, squeezing my hand tight, his other hand getting a hold on my face, caressing my check.
"No!", I said, afraid of his words. I didn't want any more trouble today. I couldn't take it! I'm so so tired of this sort of thing. "No, Jesse, please. Just...", I said, swallowing hard . "Just... Come inside with me. I don't wanna be alone. Please?", I plead. hoping to be able to calm him nerves.
He just stared at me for a while, like he was trying to decided which impulse was about to get the best of him. Then he just sighed and nodded. Releasing my face and my hand. "Okay. Let's get you inside. It's cheering my favorite Diva up time.", he said, offering me a sad smile getting out of the car.
I sighed in relief, feeling awfully guilt him for bringing him down that way.
I had to get Finn out of my head.
I just have to!
Just like in a cue, my cell phone went off. When I looked at it, Finn's name was shinning at the scream. I rejected the call.
No. I would deal with him. Not now.
"Who was it?", Jesse asked, curiously .
"Kurt. He's probably just worried. I'll talk to him latter.", I lied, smilling at him. There was no need on getting him upset over nodded, but frowned.
"Why didn't you answered?", he asked.
I reached out, getting out of the car and squeezing his hand again when he took mine on his. I shook my head. "No way. It's You and Me, time. I'll talk to him later."
And just like that, we walked hand in hand, Jesse seeming much more relaxed with my words, but my heart and mind didn't seemed able to just give me a break.
It would always just repeat.
Finn. Finn. Finn. Finn. Finn. Finn.
Oh hell...
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Next one is a Kurt's POV. I'm so excited for it!
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