CHAPTER IV
Papyrus was blinded by the white light that reflected off of the snow and into his window as he opened his eyes. He streched as he heard noises coming from downstairs. He looked over at the digital clock Undyne had bought him for his birthday a year earlier, a gift actually intended for his brother, to "never be late again". However, Sans just left it in the box until Pap eventually claimed it as his. He pulled himself upright on the bed as he read the numbers 8:22...
Sans was up this early? Was it Sans? His brother was never up this early. In about 40 mintures, he would be dragging his brother out of bed. Then again, he was usually up about 40 minutes ago cooking breakfast.
Papyrus got up from his bed, wearing the sweat pants and hoodie he went to sleep in, and walked over to his closet. Papyrus took off his hoodie and put on a red shirt. He paused and looked at the large crack that scarred his arm, internally sighing, then proceeded to throw an old jacket that he's had for a while. He needed to make sure that that area would stay would stay covered. He couldn't risk a single moment of Sans seeing it and him like that. He knew Sans would blame himself and he could have that.
Papyrus knew that Sans relied on him to brighten up the mood, he was the one that was the for Sans.
Not the other way around.
Never the other way.
He could never have Sans know how broken he was. The taller brother was just hanging by a thred now, if he some how hurt Sans, theres no telling what he would do. No doubt it would get out, the humiliation would be unbearable.
That reminded his, he walked over to his computer desk that he had been used as a steady backing for his crave. The desk was covered in his dust, the hammer also covered in dust sitting on his desk with a slight indent in the hard wood. Oh no, he had left that their over night? He ran over to the door to make sure it was still locked, it was. Oh thank God.
He walked over to his desk once again wiping off the dust with a clean wipe and putting the hammer away in his closet once again. He longingly set in in there, he knew he would be needing it after today.
Hopefully, things wouldn't get too awkward with Sans today... Weird, they used to be so close, but now Papyrus couldn't stand to be around him.
The fact was Papyrus knew he didnt deserve him, he didn't deserve a brother like Sans who was always there for him, who loved him. Knowing how he had betrayed someone who loved him so must, added to the guilt, and just made it more awkward to be around him knowing all these things.
He had been been hiding for so long it was almost like Sans didn't know him at all anymore, and that made him feel awful.
He threw away the wipe in his trash can and thought of what else he was missing.
Papyrus walked towards his nightstand and grabbed his phone, looking at his reflection in the black screen before turning it on. He once again prepared his facade before leaving his room.
Making his way downstairs, Papyrus smelt the light scent of pancakes and syrup in the air. Seeing no one in the living room, he turned around the corner and into the kitchen, in there he saw Sans standing by the stove-top flipping a couple of breakfast treats. Two plates stacked high to the right of him.
Sans was up early... and was cooking pancakes?!
This was extreemly out-of-character to say the least. He half expected Undyne to be in there cooking some kind of apology breakfast, but Sans? Papyus held his breath at the thought that something might be wrong with his brother. Then, he almost vomited at the thought that he might know something about his coping tool.
Sans turned around and found his brother behind him, staring at the piles of pancakes with a blank expression. He raised his eyebrows in a questioning position.
"Hey Papyrus, uhh.. you okay?"
Papyrus snapped out of his anxious gaze, now once again with it.
"I SHOULD BE ASKING YOU THE SAME THING!" Papyrus walked forward to his brother's large stakes of pancakes, gesturing with his hands.
Papyrus continued ,"UP EARLY, AND MAKING BREAKFAST?!" Papyrus walked near his brother and poked him in the forehead. "HOW AM I SURE YOUR MY BROTHER? SANS DOESN'T DO THESE THINGS! IS THIS OPPISITE DAY, WHATS HAPPENING? ARE YOU DYING?!
Sans laughed light-heartedly " What? I can't get up and cook breakfast for my favorite bro?"
Papyrus scanned him up and down skeptically. This was more than unusual behavior for Sans.
"SURLEY YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS HARD TO BELIEVE, YOUR NOT EXACTLY THE MOST... ALERT PERSON IVE EVER MET."
Sans put on a large smile and shrugged, shoulder high.
"YOU'RE LAZY, SANS."
The shorter brother went back to his position cooking at the stove.
"Doesn't mean I can't cook for you once in a while. I just want you to know I appreciate you." Sans turned his head and gave a smile that shattered Papyrus' heart.
This was going to be a hard day.
Sans turned back around when Papyrus didn't reply, noting his expression.
"Anyway, why don't you sit down in the living room and put see whats on MTTV? Find something to watch while we eat these, just let me clean this up first."
The taller replied, quiter than usual, "YEAH, OKAY." And turned to make his way out of the kitchen, giving his brother one last once over.
He sat on the couch with a thick thud as he picked up the remote and dissmissvely scanned through the channels. Sans knew something. He had to have, the way he was acting was scaring Papyrus. At the very least he had to have suspect something. Had he been showing hints of his depression? No, impossible. He had been trying so hard to keep it hidden. Everyone should think he was fine! Although, Sans wasn't like everyone. Sans wasn't like anyone... Had he even failed at not worrying his brother? Think Papyrus, THINK.
Maybe he grew concerned when he didn't come out to say goodnight last night? Wasn that it? Or maybe this was in addition to when he stopped wearing his armor? The fight with Undyne was also a possibility.
Papyrus launched the remote down on the cushion next to him in fruatration, as it bounced off and hit the floor with a bump, the batteries flying across the threw his hands to his eye sockets and rubbed them stressfully.
How could he have not seen his mistakes sooner?
He wasn't feeling very hungry anymore, if he was at all.
Sans had obviously seen him freeze up in the kitchen when he was deep in thought. Pap internally kicked himself, but later he would, externally.
"Everything ok in there, bro?" Papyrus heard Sans voice call from the kitchen.
He must have heard the thud, darn.
He gathered the remote from the floor, popped the batteries back in, just in time for Sans to some around the corner with two plates stacked with pancakes ansd syrup. Papyrus sat back down on the couch as if nothing had happened as Sans sat next to him and handed him his stack.
"I DROPPED THE REMOTE WHEN I WENT TO CHANGE A CHANNEL. ITS OKAY I FIXED IT. He held up the remote with his free hand.
Sans shrugged it off, " Right, so anything good on?"
He had forgotten to check entirely.
"UM, NOT REALLY." Pap played it off.
"Oh okay, well I think I recorded some of the game shows you like. Just put on of those on." Sans started in on his pancakes, he must have been hungry from waiting until they were all done to eat, usually he just eats his fill off the pan when he does cook, which is rarer than a two-headed Whimsalot.
Pap proceeded to put one of the game shows on, he's lucky it was loud and flashy. It was distractiong while hima dnhis brother sat there in silence. Usually he was the one to make conversation, but more than ofter lately, he didn't really have much to say.
He looked down at his stack of food, feeling his figurative stomach turn. Not wanted to touch it. More that often, he just didn't feel like eating lately. Maybe it came with the depression, but he could probably do without eating so often anyway. He though back to the last time he ate which was... about 10 am yesterday morning he had eaten a strawberry cereal bar on his way to work with a bottle of water.
"Aren't you going to eat your pancakes? They aren't that bad, trust me." Sans flashed a lazy smile, laced with something... concern? No. Papyrus couldn't have anybody concerned about them. He couldn't have Sans giving him those looks, he wasn't sure how many more he could take before he broke.
He took a soild breath and replied, trying to come up with something that sounded decent,
"JUST EXAMINING YOUR COOKING, AS YOU KNOW, NO ONE IS QUITE AS TALENTED IN COOKING AS THE GREAT PAPYRUS. I JUST WANTED TO LOOK AT THE QUALITY BEFORE A STARTED TO ACTUALLY EAT IT. "
He sealed the deal by cutting off a piece of pancake and shoving it in his mouth.
Sans chuckled, "What? Think I'm trying to poison you? Haha, I know I'm not as good as you, but I have my ways!" He winked at Papyrus with a smile.
The taller internally flinched. This was harded than he thought.
The rest of the conversation was strained. Papyrus had to force the pancake down, just like the words that came out of his mouth. It didnt feel the same, nothing did. The usual heart felt conversation he had with his brother, held nothing but emptiness, and nothing bothered him more.
He wondered if Sans could feel it too.
The look in his eyes.
The way the corners of his mouth twitches before he said something, as if he was reconsidering words..?
There was no way he could stand to sit on this couch next to his brother for anythe second.
He needed to get out of here.
Papyrus stood up from his stop on the couch, casually stretching his limbs.
"IM GOING TO GO GET A SHOWER, THANK YOU FOR BREAKFAST"
Papyrus went to walk away before his brother had time to respond, then realized he forgot about his plate and went to turn around to get it. He shoudln't have turned around because there was one of his brother's looks. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, he never could, but he knew it wasn't how his face was suppose to look.
Reaching down to grab the plate, he was stopped by Sans.
"I've got it Papyrus. Dont worry about it, go get your shower. You'll need one because i've got plans for us today to go out. I got mine earlier." Sans collected Papyrus' plate and stacked it on top of his, "I'll wash these before we go."
More odd behavior for Sans, but that didn't matter right now. At least he had a chance to go.
"ALRIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU IN A BIT."
A quick reply
"Right."
He made his way up the stairs and into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He wondered if Sans would find that odd if he tried to get in. There was a period in time where they would just come in and out of the bathroom while the other was showering or doing whatever because they were brother and close. Now, was a different story.
Sans probably wasn't aware of that though.
Papyrus walked over to the mirror and looked. He had semi-dark circles under his eyes. He wondered if Sans noticed? Maybe, maybe not. There was nothing he could do about it now.
He felt nauseous from pancakes. He glanced at the toilet and debated throwing them up, but quickly decided against it. He was always one to throw up rather loud. He couldn't take chances like that. Plus, he had enough to deal with at the moment. He didn't need anyone thinking he had some kind of problem with eating.
He turned on the water to the hottest setting as he stripped of his clothes.
He stepped in the shower and let the warmth wash other him, it was delightful.
Papyrus closed his eyes... until he felt a sharp pain on his legs and arm.
He quickly looked down to see what was stinging so badly, and found it was the many indents litering his body.
He sighed. It he got used to the pain of smashing his appendages, he could get used this.
After a minute, it felt nice.
