Disclaimer: I do not own Mai HiME or any of the characters used
Now, Then and Later: A Natsuki and Shizuru Story
Summary
Things begin to heat up here. Surprising developments have made a both Natsuki and Shizuru face temptation. However, with these developments old wounds are reopened.
Chapter Four: The Love that Hurts
Natsuki spent most of her morning in a daze. Sitting on top of a desk she peered out of the window watching the torrential rain washing over the school grounds. She could not get Shizuru and the kiss they shared last night off her mind. She spent most of the time awake thinking about it.
'What was I doing? I just kissed a friend' she thought retrospectively.
'But my feelings towards this friend is different' she continued in thought. She knew her feelings for Mai and the other was nothing like what she felt for Shizuru. Deep down she couldn't see how she would function without Shizuru. It was so natural for Shizuru to be by her side. She pondered to herself when did Shizuru manage to find a soft spot in her heart. Natsuki could remember the first day she met Shizuru like yesterday.
Back then she was frustrated with life and the hard hand that she had been dealt. She had walked around with a chip on her shoulder, totally unapproachable and angry most of the time. The only person she ever loved left her at a tender age, either by their own volition or by the clutches of death. She had been standing in the garden, as she watched the undeniable beauty of the flowers. Her fury was mounting as she reminisced on the fact that such beauty could still exist while her life was horridly cruel and twisted. Without thinking she reached out and touched a flower. But just as her hand touched the flower it curled around it to crush it. Then she heard it, a soft melodic voice thick with a Kyoto-ben accent spoke.
"You shouldn't do that" the person said as she spun around to see who was speaking. "Flowers should be loved. They bloom with all their might for their short lives."
Before that point in her life her eyes burned with anger and hatred. But now being caught in the act crushing a flower brought the unmistakable feelings of shame. She remembered asking the intruder who she was although she already knew that answer. The older girl answered saying she was Fujino Shizuru. The intruder then had the nerve to ask who she was. Natsuki had contemplated for a moment whether she should tell the girl who she was. She had no need for anyone in her life but despite that thought she answered the girl saying Kuga... Natsuki. It took a few minutes for her mind to skip to the memories not so long after this one. It was a time when the relationship between her and Shizuru had gone horridly wrong. Shizuru had ended up slaughtering several people at First District and not to mention what she had done to her. She was supposed to be the only that Natsuki trusted yet she ended up betraying her in the worst possible manner. At the least she had no memory of what Shizuru had actually done to her that night when she had rescued her. She only had Yukino's suspicions. She did not really want to ask her but the worst thing was that she remembered Shizuru's stolen kiss. Natsuki unconsciously shook her head in an attempt to rid herself of these bitter thoughts. She told Shizuru that she forgave her so it was better if she didn't hold onto bitter memories, nevertheless they lingered like bitter a taste that stains one's tongue. Bitter memories, hurt and pain still did not quell her desire to be with Shizuru. It was only not that she was more cognizant of just how much Shizuru was a part of her life, her person, almost as if the woman's presence made her whole.
'I want Shizuru to always be with me' she though as she smiled inwardly.
Thump!
It was not until Nao slapped her did she realize that the girl was there.
"Argh, are you looking for a fight, you delinquent"
"Look who is talking"
"The Delinquent Extra-ordiner"
"Shut up" Natsuki shouted angrily.
"I'm doing better now"
"Anyway, it's lunch time now"
"Huh"
"Geez, Kuga you've been totally spaced out all day". Nao declared with a trace of annoyance in her voice.
"Ah, what's it to you"
"I bet you've been daydreaming about that date you had with Fujino"
"How do you know about that?" Natsuki yelled in shock.
"So, it really was a date"
"Shut up" Natsuki shouted angrily.
"Hmm, you still haven't guessed how I found out"
Silence
"You underestimate the power of Chie"
"Eh! Whatever it wasn't a date"
"Really now"
"Baka, I don't care what you think"
"I have one bit of advice for you Kuga, you better be careful with that woman she may go psycho on you again"
"Now it's official I'm going to KILL you" Natsuki shouted through clenched teeth.
Nao laughed as she leaped out of Natsuki's reach.
"The way you two looked yesterday, everyone can assume that you and Fujino are lovers" Nao yelled in disgust.
Flipping out her phone she browsed to a picture and pushed it in front of Natsuki's face. Natsuki paused to focus emerald orbs on the image placed before her. Immediately, a scarlet blush was spread across her cheeks.
"How did you get that?" Nasuki growled and reached for the phone, but Nao quickly moved the phone out of Natsuki's reach. It was a photo of her and Shizuru at the stoplight yesterday. The image clearly showed Shizuru fondling her.
"I'm going to break your neck as soon as I get a hold of you" Natsuki shouted angrily.
Natsuki leaped towards Nao, she missed the girl by a few inches as the younger girl leap away. Because Natsuki had used so much force she became off balanced and landed on all fours. Looking at Nao, she growled, getting ready to attack again.
"Oi, Kuga, I didn't know you were a dog by nature" Nao teased "No, make that a pup by nature"
As Nao leapt away from Natsuki's attack her distance was cut short as her thigh slammed against a table causing her to temporarily lose balance. However the effort to regain balance was cut short as Natsuki slammed into her. The two subsequently landed on the floor. Natsuki still desperately tried to get the phone. Grunts and curses could be heard as the two rolled around on the floor. Within seconds Natsuki was able to pin the smaller girl to the floor.
"Give up already" Natsuki grunted.
Then she saw something flicker in Nao's eyes, she was caught off guard by it. Nao used this opportunity to slip out of Natsuki's grasp. Without warning she engulfed neck with her hands and pulled her into a kiss. Natsuki was too stunned to move.
On her way in her fan girls begrudgingly had told her where Natsuki was located. Unfortunately, she heard that Nao was with her. Shizuru figured she would have to tolerate the girl until she left, which she did once Shizuru came around. Since, Natsuki said she enjoyed her company she decided to pay her a visit today. She had convinced Mai to hold off on giving Natsuki a bento just so she could have the pleasure of sharing lunch with Natsuki.
When Shizuru opened the classroom nothing in the world could have prepared her for what she saw. Natsuki was on top Nao with her legs entangled with the other girl, her hands were firmly planted to the ground with Nao's lips clinging top hers.
'What am I seeing' Shizuru thought hysterically as the food slipped out of her hand. Hearing the clattering from the lunch containers crashing against the floor, Natsuki glanced up only to see Shizuru standing before her. The two stared at each other for what seemed an eternity. Coming back to reality Natsuki gasped in horror as she tried to push away Nao. Taking a second glance at Shizuru, she saw the woman's face morph from shock to lifeless, and then she directed a cold stare at Nao. Deep in the recesses of her mind, Shizuru figured that Nao would try to steal HER NATSUKI.
"Ara, Yuuki-san did you think you could take what is MINE?" Shizuru said in a calm and threatening voice. Nao shivered in fear and inadvertently tighten her grip on Natsuki's arm. Shizuru narrowed her eyes as she started to approach the girl.
"It seems you haven't learnt to leave MY NATSUKI alone"
"No matter" Shizuru stated calmly. "I'll have to fix this" Shizuru stated calmly as she closed her eyes and a smile spread across her face. A bright light appeared and Shizuru's naginata appeared in her hands.
Natsuki stared in disbelief, while Nao stared angrily at Shizuru. The younger girl then stood and called her elements.
"Huff, I don't see your name on her" Nao shouted angrily.
Natsuki couldn't believe her eyes; the both of them retained their elements while her ability to call her element was rendered useless after the Hime star left. She looked at Shizuru in fear; she knew that woman was capable of anything especially when it came to her. Standing, she used herself as a barrier between the two.
"Matte" Natsuki shouted.
"Shizuru, please…please stop this" she pleaded.
Shizuru stared at Natsuki. What she saw in Natsuki's eyes wasn't the love that she longed for Natsuki to show. It was genuine fear.
'Fear' Shizuru thought 'Fear of what'.
It was then that Shizuru contemplated what she was doing. She never wanted that look to ever appear on her love's face, the last it was there she had done horribly things in order to earn such a look. Like a barrage of tumbling rocks, her thoughts raced back to the things she had done during the Hime festival. The memory of the people she had hurt burned her like a scolding hot branding iron, Haruka, Yukino, the people of First District. She did not need physical scars to show that the wounds were deep they was always there festering and taunting her. She wished it would stop.
'Please someone help me' her thought screamed as she hung her head in shame.
Then she peered at her once savior, her Natsuki, no Natsuki now glared at her as if she was the enemy as she protectively stood in front of Yuuki-san. Shizuru's element dematerialized in the instant; a hand reached up and held her chest above the location of her heart. Her heart felt like it would burst from the pained it was receiving. It was then she realized what she wanted to do to Yuuki-san.
'She wanted to… how she could do this to Natsuki…again' she thought in anguish.
"I'm not a piece a meat, I don't belong to anyone but myself" Natsuki murmured as she watched Shizuru. Initially a part of her was still afraid of Shizuru, but she watched as Shizuru's usually emotionless face was attacked by a barrage of emotions. First there was shock which morphed into hatred with a hint of killing intent, then it changed into yet again shock and now it was a pained and wounded expression. It looked as if Shizuru would fall apart from a single touch. The expression reminded her of the time she was in the garden where Shizuru's love was for her was coldly tossed in front of her. Then it happen, a single tear streamed down Shizuru face.
"Sh-Shi-Shizuru" Natsuki stammered as she walked towards the guilt ridden woman.
"Are you…it's not what you think" she continued but Shizuru started step back. Nao firmly planted hands around Natsuki's waist pulling the girl towards her. Shizuru turned and ran away.
"Let me go" Natsuki said in a gruff voice.
"Huff, why Natsuki" Nao shouted as her voice began to tremble. "Why her and not me? Look at her, didn't she once again prove she's unstable" Nao continued as tears fell.
Natsuki pulled away from Nao and glanced at her to see the heartache written all over her face. She turned her face in disgust. She was disgusted with herself because she had caused another person heartache and pain. Looking solemnly at Nao she spoke in a low voice.
"It doesn't matter if that's a part of her, because I love her no matter what she is" Natsuki simply stated.
"I'm sorry if that causes you pain but I really and truly belong with only one person"
Natsuki laughed to herself as she remembered what she had said to Shizuru, 'I don't belong to anyone but myself'. 'Ironic isn't it' she thought mournfully. 'Now she was saying she belong with Shizuru'
Looking down at Nao, Natsuki sighed as she prepared to finish what she was saying.
"And that person I belong with is Shizuru" Natsuki finally admitted. 'And it only took a situation like this to occur for her to admit it' she thought sadly.
"I'm sorry Nao, but I can't return your feelings"
"Fine, go and be that psycho's good little lap dog" Nao shouted angrily.
Natsuki decided to ignore Nao's remarks. She knew the girl was only lashing out at her because of the pain of rejection. Natsuki miserably strode out of the room to search for Shizuru.
Shizuru on the other hand was hysterical. She rushed off the campus almost plowing over Yukino. Luckily Haruka caught her before she fell, then she turned to Shizuru to chastise the woman but was only met with her back in the distance.
"Humph, that woman has absolutely no manors" Haruka shouted indignantly.
"Manners, Haruka-chan," Yukino corrected as she adjusted her glasses.
"She must be under some distress, for her to act in such a manner" Yukino pointed out.
"…Eh, yeah" Haruka agreed as a frown started to knit her eye brows.
"Don't worry Haruka-chan, I'm sure it will workout for the best" Yukino suggested trying to cheer up her friend.
"Who said I was worried about that bubuzuke woman" Haruka stated defensively. Brushing those thoughts aside she turned to Yukino.
"Come Yukino, we only have an half an hour let before I have to go back to the University" Haruka announced as she strode off with Yukino in tow.
Omake 4:
Shizuru is riding around on Kiyohime's back with her naginata clenched in both hands. She appears to be looking for someone or something.
Nao: (sweat drops) Boy, I wouldn't want to be in Author's shoes now.
KiziB-chan[from the bushes SHUT UP!
Nao: (scrawls) So you're hiding over there. I want to ask you one thing. What was that slop you wrote between me and Natsuki?
KiziB-chan: (sweat drops) Oh crap. She's probably going to kill me too along with Nao fans.
Nao[claws come out Prepare for divine punishment.
KiziB-chan: (swallows nervously) Dammit it's either her or Shizuru.
