Chapter 4 - Consumed By Bitterness

Everything had been running through Paul's mind for a while. He'd always thought that Kaitlyn had to leave because her father forced her too. Apparently such wasn't the case. She'd all but told him she left for a different reason...She hinted around it was because of him. But he technically hadn't been caught doing anything...Had he?

Paul was pretty good about keeping his emotions and feelings in check. The rest of the pack knew he'd imprinted on Kaitlyn. They knew because of his temperament that her leaving was a bad thing. Now that she was back they weren't so sure. Paul sat just inside the tree line and watched as Kaitlyn, Jake, Mela, Billy and Katherine all laughed and joked around while Billy and Katherine cooked on the grill.

Jake looked too the trees, that scent was familiar. He looked down at Mela, "I'll be right back." Mela nodded and watched as he jogged off into the trees.

Jake phased immediately, 'Paul what are you doing?' Paul groaned, 'Patrolling. What's it look like?' Jake scoffed, 'Stalking your imprint.' Paul growled, 'That's easy for you to say yours is speaking to you. I've tried talking to Kaitlyn a thousand times in the last 2 months. She refuses to speak to me. Hell she barely looks at me.' Jake shook out his fur, 'Yes well sitting here torturing yourself is not doing either of you any good. Either come over and talk to her or go on patrol for real.'

Paul huffed as his body laid on the ground with a thump. Jake chuckled, 'She can't ignore the imprint forever. Eventually she'd gonna want to try and figure it out and she'll come to you for answers.'

"Jake?"

Jake and Paul's heads snapped up at the sound of Kaitlyn's voice. Jake blanched, 'Oh God that's Kaitlyn, hurry quick and phase and get dressed. The only way to get her to talk to you is facing her head on.'

Paul reluctantly, phased as he pulled his shorts, t-shirt and sneakers on and Jake stepped out from behind a tree fully dressed as well. When Kaitlyn came into the clearing where they were she frowned when she saw Paul. Of course the frowned turned into a scowl as she looked at Paul, "Are you stalking me or something?"

Paul growled as he shoved his hands in his front pockets, "Why on Earth would I...NO!" She watched he exhaled slowly as she turned her eyes to Jake, "You're father is looking for you." Jake nodded as he looked between the two of them, giving them both the same questionable look. Paul growled even more, "Go on it's not like I'm gonna kid nap her or something. She's too difficult to have to deal with if I did that." Jake chuckled as he walked away.

Paul saw the scowl on Kaitlyn's face as his scowl deepened, "You know it's true. You've got to be the most stubborn and infuriating female I ever met." Kaitlyn looked at Paul as her eyebrow raised towards him, "What was I supposed to do just let you treat me like crap...Let you walk all over me and cheat on me." Paul opened his mouth to protest when Kaitlyn gave him a knowing look, "And don't stand there and lie to my face and tell me you never cheated on me...I'm not completely stupid. I'd like to think I was just tangled in the web you weaved around my brain that caused me to lose all rational thoughts when it came to you."

Paul frowned, "Everything I said to you was true. I never lied to you...Why would I start now? If you'd just talk to me or let me talk and you listen...Don't you think there's a reason I keep coming to you and wanting to talk?" Kaitlyn scoffed, "Sure you've been through every available girl from Seattle to Forks who isn't taken or a lesbian and it's time to started double backing so you can get laid. You're whole hit it and quit it motto has run its course."

Paul groaned as he threw his hands down by his sides as they clenched into fists, "Just once I'd like to have a serious conversation with you...Just once." Kaitlyn glared, "You let me know when you grow up and we can have a serious conversation."

Suddenly Paul was standing in front of Kaitlyn as he gripped her upper arms, "Tell me what I did...Tell me so I can make things right between us please Kait." His begging didn't fall on deaf ears...Was she really ready to hash this whole thing out with Paul. She'd been a bitter bitch for the last almost 2 years, since finding him in bed with, who she know knew was Rachel Black.

Paul watched as she closed her eyes and turned her head down, as she looked up at him a couple of tears trickled down her cheeks, "You have no concept of pain, you don't have a conscience, you don't even have a heart so there's no way you know what heartache feels like."

Paul frowned, "You'd be surprised what I've learned since you've been gone."

"You haven't learned anything. You only think you did." Kaitlyn pulled away from Paul as she walked around him, "I know you remember what you said to me to convince me to give you a chance. But what I don't understand is why you spewed all that bullshit at me if you didn't want me to give you a real chance? You worked so hard to get me to trust you and believe every word that came out of your mouth. And then you had to fuck it all up by screwing someone else. And I imagine she wasn't the first. But the last thing I wanted to see when I came to see you on our 5 month anniversary was Rachel Black bouncing up and down on you."

Kaitlyn turned to face Paul as more tears slid down her cheeks, Paul's eyes widened, "It was you who flattened my tires wasn't it?" Kaitlyn scoffed, "You think? I was so mad and hurt and you two were so wrapped up in the sexual moment that you didn't even hear me walk in. You have no idea how bitter and cynical I've been since that day. I don't trust anyone anymore because of you. I realize that was stupid of me to trust you. But for some idiotic reason everything inside of me screamed for me to trust you...So I did. I loved watching movies and taking walks with you and sitting in the porch swing at your parents house wrapped in each other's arms just enjoying the nights we had. I even enjoyed the night I let you take my virginity for your birthday. I thought it was special. But you was playing me for a fool the whole time."

Kaitlyn tried to get her tears under control, "I don't care how much you've changed or grown up since I've been gone. you're never going to change enough to earn my trust again. I'd rather die a thousand deaths then to ever let you into my heart again."

Paul's face hardened, "Why won't you at least give me a second chance? Life is all about second chances Kaitlyn." Kaitlyn shook her head, "You know the only question I ever ask myself with this whole situation...Why wasn't I good enough for you? Why wasn't I enough for you. I mean clearly there is something wrong with me, if I can't even keep you from bring other girls into your bed. I just don't understand. You are the only one with the answers. And even now. You don't have any. At least you don't have any that will change the way I feel about you. Ever."

Kaitlyn shook her head as she walked away and out of the tree line. A few minutes later a strangled howl echoed through the trees sending shivers down Kaitlyn's spine. That wolf howl sounded painful. He was probably caught in a trap some place. she'd finally said everything she wanted to Paul. She was really hoping it would make her feel better to confront him about it, but no such luck. Maybe in time it would rub off.

But definitely not yet.