Heya peeps, this short fanfic happens in between P.o.P and D.H.L… it's the same deal as the others, I don't own Hercules (Unfortunately) but I do own Persephone and other original characters and places that pop up during this short story…

I take things from both the film and series and remember, Disney twisted myths to create their storylines so I am tweaking some to make them fit the feel of Hercules…

Little hint: if you haven't read P.o.P you might get confused later on… enjoy and please review..

Godly Wife Insurance

Chapter Four:There ain't Nothin' like Underworld Lovin'

Deep below Gaia's surface Hades had long since abandoned Neurosis and Pain to do the Soul Count, much to a certain pink imp's dismay.. He'd only spent a day with the tall thin yellow imp but Pain would have happily smashed his head into the nearest sharpest object if he thought it would stop Neurosis messing with his mind.

'So..' Neurosis sounded turning to Pain who threw him a glare wishing he would just shut up. '-I guess we know which imp Miss Persephone would take with her if she and the Boss get a divorce.'

'Huh..?' Pain's face contorted into confusion. 'They're not getting a divorce..'

'Oh I'm just saying that now we know who her favourite is..' Neurosis responded causing Pain to scowl.

'Miss Persephone doesn't have a favourite..' He retorted hotly before he smiled in a smug fashion. '-she loves us equally, she even said it herself..'

'Oh sure she does..' Neurosis rolled his eyes with derision. '-that's why your down here and Panic's up there livin' it up with the nymphs..'

'For your information she picked Panic because she knows that I can handle the Boss' temper way better than he can..' There was a small hint of pride in the chubby pink imp's voice as this statement was true. A few hours alone in Hades' company would have left Panic in a gibbering mess on the floor, the skinny green imp was not very good at handling the stress without Pain or Persephone to help him calm down enough to get the job done… Pain sighed heavily, he really missed his anxious partner. Not only because he missed Panic's agitated whining but because he was also smarter and could explain things to Pain that he didn't get… Neurosis merely confused him further and as such jobs that normally took minutes were taking ages.. not that Hades seemed to care or notice if he was around, their boss was too busy pining for his wife.

'Well… if that's what you wanna believe..' Neurosis sounded in a hinting tone and this time Pain really did smash his head against the thick dark jetty post… he hoped Charon would bring some more souls over before he gave himself a concussion..


Hades trudged slowly through the Underworld towards his desired destination. His mind was a muddle of passed memories and feelings of guilt for driving his wife back to her mother's. Even this path he was taking now was steeped in memories:

It had been a peaceful afternoon in the Underworld, one of those rare days when there was very little to do. The silent gloomy pathway was disrupted by the sound of thunderous paws and joyous barking as Cerberus bounded down the path…

A few seconds after the three-headed dog had passed there was a girly squeal of delight.

'Wheee…. He-he..' Persephone was clinging to the leash of the middle head. Her long golden hair streaming behind her as she whizzed passed followed immediately by her husband who gave out a cry of alarm.

'YaaaaaahhH!' Hades clutched both the remaining leads for dear life, then once he was secure his fiery head swivelled to his wife who was giggling again as she skied along. 'For the love of Erebus Seph stop encouraging him!' He bellowed sliding unsteadily still trying to dig his heels into the ground.

'Oh sweetie just re-lax..' Came the gleeful response causing his eyes to roll.

'Relax? Relax!' Hades sounded in alarm before retorting. 'Seph if I were anymore relaxed I'd be dead!'

'Uhh..' Persephone snorted with amusement. '-don't be such a drama-god..'

Persephone's last words swirled his mind… drama-god.. drama-god.. Hades then shook his head and sighed with a heavy heart and carried on trudging down the path. He really missed Persephone, the Underworld just wasn't the same without her.. However he really needed some guidance, and there was only one place in the entire cosmos he could go to get that..

Hades stopped and looked up at the dark and imposing house he had grown up in, then the fiery god burst through the door yelling at the top of his lungs..

'Moooom!'

'I'm in the kitchen Hadiekins..' Nyx's soft voice called out and the fiery god flushed a slight pink shade at his mother's nickname.. shaking off the embarrassment Hades wandered down the hallway. He eventually became aware of the smell of freshly baked Apple Betty, usually the smell of his mother's baking had Hades drooling like a starving mortal offered a pita, but not today. The fiery god merely slumped in his usual seat at the breakfast bar and sighed heavily.

Nyx turned to face him looking concerned at the depressed face of her youngest and adopted son..

'What's the matter bube?' She asked while tenderly running her slim lilac-blue fingers through his flaming hair. The goddess then cut her son an exceptionally large piece of the Apple Betty and set it in front of him by a large fork with a carved bone handle.

Hades stabbed his fork into the Apple Betty slice moodily before examining the pudding and sighing again.

'Seph left me..' He uttered glumly before shoving the forkful of pudding into his mouth and chewing.

'Oh Hades..' Nyx sighed with concern sitting herself opposite him. '-what did you do?'

Hades who had been about to take another bite of pudding paused at these words before turning away from the fork and scowling at the Goddess of Night.

'Mom, why do ya always assume it's somethin' I've done..' He in a petulant tone and pouted irritably at his mother. Nyx merely raised her brows at him.

'Because usually it is..' She smirked, Hades had a knack for attracting trouble even without help from his sisters, the Fates, who were always leading her little bundle of flames astray..

With a heavy sigh the Lord of the Underworld then dropped his fork into his plate unable to eat anymore. Nyx blinked surprised by this, Apple Betty was Hades' favourite pudding. When her three daughters had told her this morning that their adopted brother would be visiting she had made it especially for him… her poor little Hades must really miss his wife if he couldn't bring himself to eat his favourite food.

'Oh Hadiekins..' Nyx sighed sympathetically. '-sitting kvetching won't help, you've got to get off your tookus and go see you wife..' The Goddess of Night then frowned at Hades' half eaten Apple Betty. '-but not before you finish your pie mister.. oy vey, you know how much I hate leftovers..'

Hades rolled his eyes at these words then picked up his fork and shoved a mouthful of pudding in his mouth, just to keep her happy.. Once he'd finally finished his pudding Nyx smiled and reached over pinching his cheek.

'That's my little hamantaschen..' She cooed in a baby voice..

'Mo-om..' Hades whinged childishly while slapping her hand away, pulling a grimace at her fussing… Sheesh, and Seph thought Demeter was embarrassing!

'Evenin' all..' A chilly voice filled the air as the room itself darkened a few shades as Erebus' shadowy form appeared at the head of the table, next to his wife…

'Hello dear.' Nyx smiled widely at her husband as Hades uttered slowly,

'Hey dad..' The fiery god went right back to sulking moodily, thinking about his wife.

The black shadowy god sniffed the air deeply.

'Ooh… do I smell Apple Betty?' He sounded flashing his wife a wide-fanged keen and slightly creepy smirk. Nyx smiled at her husband before getting up and fetching him a bowl. Erebus picked up his fork and scooped himself a large mouthful of pudding before spotting a miserable looking Hades who was staring listlessly into his own plate.. Chewing slowly the shadowy god studied his youngest son through concerned orbs of grey before swallowing.

'What's the matter kiddo?' He asked softly causing Hades to sigh heavily.

'He and Persephone are having a little marital spat..' Nyx answered for her son when he failed to responded.

'Oh..' Erebus raised a shadowy grey eyebrow before rounding on Hades with an frown. '-alright boy, what did you do?'

'Nothing..' Hades retorted a little too quickly.

'Hades…' Erebus sounded in a low dangerous voice, his tone almost frightening.

'Alright!' Hades snapped, there was no point arguing as his father would always wheedle it out of him in the end… the God of Darkness knew him far too well. '-I mighta.. kinda…' He sounded twirling his wrist around vaguely, the fiery then sighed and decided to say the rest of it really fast in the hopes it would soften the blow. '-told-Seph-I-had-a-back-up-wife..'

Both his parents faces dropped in horror at his words causing Hades to wince and add feebly with an uneasy smirk, '-it was only meant to be a joke..'

'Oh Hades…' Nyx sounded completely disappointed in her son, she knew it would be bad but not this bad. The fiery god felt a pit in his stomach at her words he hated it when she looked at him that way… still it was nothing compared to the murderous glare he was getting off Erebus.

'What in the name of Tartarus is wrong with you!' He roared thumping the table and causing the whole kitchen to judder. Hades merely flashed his father an oily grin. Great, his father was home two seconds and he'd managed to infuriate him… it was the 'Titan incident' all over again..

'Dad, I swear didn't mean it..' Hades inwardly cursed… Ok, serious deja-vu moment..

'Oh no?' Erebus sounded, his chilly voice dripping with derision. 'It just slipped out, did it?'

'Uhh…' Hades sounded as the shadowy god raised his brow expectantly complete with a 'you better explain yourself right now' glare… suddenly the fiery god felt like he was a little godling again..

Yup, there was that sinking feeling…

'Oy vey..' He groaned inwardly..


One of Persephone's pomegranate bushes was shaking so hard due to the tiny green imp who was cowering wide eyed in fear while clutching the trunk for support. The reason for his fearful behaviour was storming around the grove muttering as her golden flames flickered violently on her head and the ground tremors were continuing to shake up the isle of Sicily..

Only a few words were distinguishable, 'miserable, disgusting nymph…' and '-how dare that little home-wrecker say such things..'

Panic hated it when Persephone was upset, with Hades you knew what to expect and his rages were relatively short, once he'd charred you senseless he calmed down but Miss Persephone could rage for days on end… it was easier to just keep her happy.

Hermes had vanished back to Olympus as the tremors started, he'd learnt that it was better if you just did not to talk to Persephone when she was in one of her rages, unless you wanted to be orbed off the face of Gaia just for breathing near her… The Messenger God had taken a protesting Hera with him.

'We've done all we can do honey..' Hermes had said to lilac-skinned Queen of the Gods, '-it's up to Hades to fix this now..' After watching her niece march up and down a few times causing the plants in her grove to quiver and wilt as the young goddess seethed, Hera had nodded. There really was nothing more that she could do… but at least Persephone wasn't crying anymore. Only time would tell just how she'd reacted when Hades finally arrived in her grove to reconcile with her..

Panic anxiously peeled a branch back so he could check on Miss Persephone. It was nightfall now and the young goddess had finally stopped pacing. She was seated cross-legged under her favourite willow tree which was a few trees down from where the green imp was hidden. Panic gauged the expression on the Queen of the Underworld's stony face and deduced that it still wasn't safe to come out from the bush… He'd only seen her this mad once in the entire time she'd been living in the Underworld and that had when she'd found out Hades had brought her ex-boyfriend back from the dead… He gulped as the frown on Persephone's face deepened, her lips twisting into a tighter pout and the angry flicking flames swirled brutally around her head, lighting up the darkened grove like sun-light.

Oh boy… Panic thought letting go of the branch… the boss was gonna be in some really deep doo-doo when he finally showed his face… Then a slight crease appeared on his little face as he thought about Hades, it would be unfair to let the fiery god arrive unprepared to face the wrath of Miss Persephone… He had to warn him! The skinny green imp then vanished in a green shimmer down to the Underworld..


Pain groaned, smacking his face repeatedly into the black jetty post as Neurosis warbled on..

'-and then if they get divorced you'll have this huge legal battle over the Underworld..' The skinny yellow imp paused rubbing his chin before continuing, '-y'know, the Underworld doesn't really split that well does it? So like, how would that work?'

'I don't care…' Pain wailed as he ceased banging his head because it hurt. '-will ya quit messin' with my head, your giving me a freakin' migraine..'

'Well..' Neurosis continued as though he hadn't heard what Pain had just said.

'Gah..' The pink imp sounded irritably and resumed banging his head of the jetty post.

'-I suppose the boss would have to take Tartarus, I doubt Miss Persephone would like it that much so that would leave her with the Asphodel Fields..'

'Stoppit! Stoppit! Stoppit! Stoppit!' Pain cried every word as he smashed his head harder against the jetty post.

'Ooh..' Came a new voice. '-looks like I'm not the only one with problems..'

Pain, recognising the voice, instantly stopped hitting his head off the jetty post and whirled around beaming..

'Panic..?' He sounded unsurely, taking in the sight of his skinny best friend. '-is it really you or have I gone crazy with loneliness?'

'Hey..' Neurosis sounded offended by this comment. '-I'm standin' right here y'know..'

'Pain!' The green imp practically burst into tears of joy at the sight of his best friend's face.

'Panic!' The pink imp responded in the same emotional tone, welling up. Both imps shot towards each other and embraced in a tight hug..

'Aw I've missed you..' Pain wept, clutching Panic into an eye-poppingly tight hug.

'And I missed you too..' The skinny green imp sniffed trying to hold back his own tears. '-Now quit cryin' ya big blubbering baby, your gonna set me off!' For a long moment they remained embraced before Neurosis' voice interrupted,

'Sheesh, get a room already..' The yellow imp rolled his purple-lidded eyes disdainfully at the emotional display.. Both Pain and Panic broke apart at these words and frowned briefly at the yellow imp.

'What's he doing here?' Panic asked his pink partner, eyeing Neurosis suspiciously.

'Uh, the boss kinda assigned him as my temporary partner until you came back to work..'

'Really?' Panic blinked surprised. 'What was he smoking when he thought up that?'

'Ah.. I think he was drunk actually..' Pain replied causing Pain to roll his eyes..

'Figures..' He uttered before turning the subject onto their fiery boss. '-do you guys no where I could find him? I gotta see him..'

'Haven't seen him since this morning when he just poofed out on us..' Neurosis sounded in a disapproving tone. 'I know he's depressed an' all but ya think he'd have the decency to let the staff know where he's going wouldn'tcha?'

Ok, ok..' Panic sounded trying hard not to fret. '-to find Hades, we just gotta think like Hades..'

'We gotta do what now?' Pain sounded confused, not understanding what his skinny green partner meant.

'He means if you were a depressed Hades, where would you go?' Neurosis sounded as though it were the most obvious thing in the word. Pain slumped down on the jetty floor thinking about the different places Hades went to in the Underworld… Panic was pacing in his usual hurried and slightly anxious fashion muttering as his little mind tried to figure it out..

'Where would Hades go..?' Suddenly a light went off in both imp's heads as they realised where Hades had gone… where else would he go when he was depressed..

'Erebus and Nyx's house..' Both imps cried out together… he'd be at his mom and dad's on the lower east-side of the Underworld. Panic suddenly looked sadly at his chubby pink partner.

'I should go..' He uttered.

'Do ya have to go right now?' Pain looked upset.

'Yeh… it's too complicated to explain right now, but If I don't warn the boss he might get his head orbed off when he goes to see Miss Persephone..' Panic then waved off Neurosis and Pain before shooting off in the direction of Nyx and Erebus…

...He just hoped he wasn't too late..


Little Notes:

Hey Everybody, I hope you all like how I'm portraying Hades' parents Nyx and Erebus… I love the idea of Nyx being the fussing mother while Erebus is the stern father figure… I reckon you'd need a firm hand with a god like Hades, and please tell me I'm not the only one who can easily picture the three teenage Fates leading on a tiny godling Hades and getting him into trouble! XD

Lol, what happens next?

Stay tuned… and don't forget to review please!

Love… Ditzy x

P.S. Now that H.o.T.T is finished I see no reason to keep P.o.P, G.W.I and D.H.L in the Disney section so as a forewarning… when I next update my Hades and Seph stories, (which will probably be in October) they be moving to the Hercules section where they belong… see ya there peeps… MmmmMwha ;*