Disclaimer: The Hobbit and its characters are not mine. I just like to play with them.

TRIGGER WARNING: There is abuse in the chapter, so just a heads up, if it bothers you I am so so so very sorry.


In Dale

Fili's view.

I can't see anything but the bright, falsified lights hanging from the ceiling above the fighting ring as Dwalin throws me on my back,

"I thought I taught you better than that." I can hear Dwalin's footsteps pounding on the mat as he approaches me. I'm hot and sweaty and I can't feel my body but I can see Dwalin's hulking form darkening the lights from my view, "Come on boy." He reaches down and takes my hand, pulling me to standing position, although it's more like staggering as my head spins in circles and my breath shakes and catches in my chest.

Any time I walk away from a sparring session with Dwalin I always end up with at least a few shattered ribs and plenty of bruises and cuts scattering my body.

I take a shaky step forward and Dwalin catches me, chuckling as he pushes me back into a more or less standing position,

"I guess you didn't teach me enough." I take a shaky step back into the corner I had taken when the fight began, spitting a mouthful of bloody spit into the bucket.

"Oh come now brother, you can't possibly believe that that had not been even slightly your fault." Kili's voice teases me from the floor next to the ring. Even it being a good fifteen minutes after his beating he is still panting and moaning from his bruises although his are far less than mine. Dwalin has always gone easier on him,

"Oh Kee. If only I were not so pained. I would bring you into this as well." I joke with him as he stands, like we often do before the front doors are swung open suddenly,

"FILI! KILI!" A loud thundering voice booms from behind me at the door and a pair of heavy footsteps are following it, pounding along the cement floor,

"Oh shit." I whip my head toward my brother and he to me, his face an expression of terror. Even Dwalin stops what he's doing to stare at the person entering the training room.

"What have I told you about going into Mirkwood?" I turn just in time to see our uncle Thorin stalking, angrily toward the ring, his long, silver streaked hair billowing behind him,

"U-uncle we were jus-" Kili starts to defend the both of us before our uncle raises a single hand, shutting him up,

"I do not need any of your excuses, Kili." At the sudden movement Kili jumps, his arms twitching as though they are going up to protect himself. He always got the butt of our uncle's rage. I won't ever understand why. Kili is a genius even if sometimes he gets himself into trouble he's still far smarter than I'll ever be,

"Uncle, we had to get books." I try to keep my voice level as he approaches the ring. My breathing- although already unsteady quickens in pace snf my heart hammers harder against my chest, not from the fighting but out of fear.

When we were younger, and even up into these years, our uncle has always had a sort of discipline over us that would often leave Kili and I bruised and bleeding. Our mother hated it but she wouldn't dare try to go against her brother. He is a much larger dwarf than she and much scarier- depending who your talking to actually that one is up for debate.

It's not like he hits us often, it's just when he does, he does it hard. And now that the two of us are older he sees it that we are able to take more of a beating than when we were younger.

He jumps up into the ring and stands, almost level with my own eyes, glaring at me with his piercing blue orbs,

"I do not care if you needed books." Whatever drives him to have such a hatred for the Mirkwood library must be beyond my knowledge. He has never told Kili or I of his past, we've got no idea why he deems it fit to punish us any time we go near it, "And you should be more worried about yourself than your brother." It's hard not to be intimidated by his low, rumbling voice as it grinds from his throat like stones rolling against stones.

I swallow dryly, trying to keep myself from piping up about something I really shouldn't. I bite at the side of my cheek as he comes closer to me, his chest nearly touching my own and his breath feeling cold against my sweaty skin,

"I have done nothing for you to be angry about."

"That is not what I've come to see." His eyes narrow and he turns to walk around me. I track him as he walks next to Dwalin, telling him something I can't quite hear.

The great man standing opposite me glances from his place back at me and then to Thorin. I take their distracted state in stride and step out of the ring, landing next to Kili with a bounce,

"I'm not dealing with this." I walk toward the door and begin to unwrap my hands and wrists,

"Fili, wait!" I don't turn to see Kili running to keep up with me. Although I'm not going above a walk I can hear his bare feet padding quickly along the hard, cement floor, "Where're you going?"

I toss the tape to the side and shove the doors open, not bothering to go to the locker room as I storm through the lobby. Without thinking I remove my shirt, wanting to rid myself of the sticky, sweaty bit of cloth,

"Oi, lad! Where're you doing?" Bombur, the company cook, (although I'm not sure why we need one. We're a bloody security firm.) tries to stop me, tapping my arm as I pass him,

"Nowhere." I growl over my shoulder as I stalk through the building, ignoring the bemused glances I get from guests and employees alike.

I find my way up the different floors, taking the stairs to ease my mind as I think of what could be happening down in training room. I know for a fact that Thorin didn't follow me when I left. And I know he didn't let Kili chase me through the building. He wouldn't want such a scene to be made by his nephews. He wouldn't let Kili go. He needs a punching bag.

And Kili is just the right size.

I clench my eyes shut tight and run up the last flight of stairs, bursting through a door onto the roof with a loud scream. The roof is a type of escape I have from what has become my life through the years. The views I get from up here are the best coping mechanisms I have ever had for dealing with what I have to deal with.

Just being able to look out over the city, watching all of the people and cars like they're toys on a play set. It almost feels like I'm not even in a real world, like I'm staring at a bunch of toys on a table in an old man's basement. The sky almost seems like a disc, sitting on the edges of the mountains surrounding Dale. Right now it's a pale blue with a few scattered clouds and a couple birds flying quietly from tree to tree.

No matter how calming the outside world seems on the inside I feel a storm raging inside and a hot fire burning in my head. I can't stop thinking how much it hurts to be the older brother and not being able to do anything to keep my little brother from getting hurt by the person he looks up to the most.

He's probably down there begging him to stop. Begging him to let go and to stop. I've heard him begging so many times. And there isn't anything I can do to help him. There isn't anything at all.

My body crumples down to the roof as my breath catches in my throat. The sudden realization that I can't do anything to save the person who means the most to me makes my knees weak.

My mind races back to one of the first time Kili had taken a beating from Thorin. His screams echo in my head and the sounds of hand and foot hitting his body precede each cry. I don't even remember how old he was when it happened. He was in his twenties, still only just a small, small child. To a man he would have been ten or twelve. I remember why he'd been beaten, though. He'd gone out with friends and came home late. Thorin had been worried sick. So had mother. But neither of them more than I. It had been the first time he was out late. And when he got home I still remember the way Thorin grabbed him. The way he practically threw Kili into the closed front door. I remember grabbing at Thorin's hair, trying to pull him off of my brother. He only hit him twice but it was enough to provoke blood to drain from his nose and lips.

I'm pulled out of my memories by a familiar hand on my shoulder. It's soft and kind as the fingers rub my bare skin and it's only just then that I notice the tears slipping down my face,

"Fili." The voice isn't who I originally expected. I turn my head to see Kili standing over me, his face bloodied and his hair sloppily pulled from the ponytail, "Fili, I'm alright." I ignore what he says and stand, grabbing him into a tight embrace,

"I'm sorry I couldn't stop him." Somehow I feel like Kili's hurt is completely my fault. I'm falling deeper and deeper into the void of guilt as I hold him close to my body, "I'm so sorry, Kili." I hold him tightly for a little more time as the sun falls down behind the mountains.


A/N: Wow another stupid ending haha oops. And I apologize again for hurting the boys like that. I needed something to break some people's heart... I love all of you so very much. All eight of you. Mwah. XOXO