A/N So my totally awesome editor, Sharebear, led me to a Quileute language site. 'Was ho' means 'No way'. There ya go.

I woke before dawn. I hurt everywhere, but most especially in my chest. My head was a very close second. I'd never drank alcohol, but I was pretty sure this was what a hangover felt like. My first thought was Jacob. I tiptoed to his room, hoping to find him sleeping. His bed was empty. I sat on the floor and pulled my knees to my chest. I sat there until light started to fill the room. Then I got up and changed for the day. I didn't have any desire to go to school, but I couldn't stay here either.

I was lucky. I found Ruby just inside the school grounds. "Hey, Ruby. How badly did you want to go to History today?" I knew she was probably going to ditch it anyway.

She looked at me and made a face. "Yeah, let's get outta here." She led me off into the woods. As soon as we were out of sight of the school, she lit up a cigarette. "You want one?" she offered. I shook my head. "So what happened?"

"Got a new WeiHa." I thrust my fist into the air, exposing it. "Had to almost break his arm to get it though."

"What?" Her eyes bulged and her nose scrunched up. "That's not how it works. That doesn't make any sense, Ness."

"Yeah, well, I kinda tried to stop him when he gave it to me." She gasped and put a hand over her mouth. "Yeah, see, no one told me what it meant. I thought he was tying a leash on me. A 'property of' tag."

"That's not how it - " she started to protest.

"Yeah. I get that now." I waited for her to finish her drag and then took one myself. I coughed and spluttered, but the nicotine did perk me up a bit. "I crushed him. Idiot should have told me what the stupid thing was." I pulled down my sleeve to cover the band. Then I wiped my cheeks, stupid angry tears.

"You never told me who - "

"Jacob Black."

Her jaw fell open. "Was ho."

"Yeah. He gave me the first one when I was way too little to have a clue."

"But... He's not that much older than us."

Ooops. Hmmm, how to swing this. "Yeah. It doesn't make sense, but trust me when I tell you, he knew what he was doing. I didn't though." I banged my head against the tree I was leaning on. It creaked and a shower of needles and cones rained down. I was making all kinds of mistakes today. Well, while I was getting things off my chest... I snorted. "And I really thought my last birthday was gonna take the cake for a while. I mean, how much worse can you get than walking in on your parents having sex and then being trapped on a plane with them for ten hours?"

Ruby was looking very confused. She took a slow drag on her cigarette and shook her head. "But aren't your parents..?"

"Shit. I trust you, Ruby, so don't ask too many questions, and don't spread this around, but - " I really didn't want to lie to her at all, if I could help it. I should be able to string just enough truth, if she didn't ask the wrong questions. "I really want to be able to tell you anything. I mean, you're the only friend I have in this godforsaken place," I muttered. I kicked a rock toward the boulder she was sitting on. She took another drag and flipped the cigarette to me. I took a smaller puff. I didn't choke as badly this time. "My dad isn't dead, and he isn't Macah either. Billy's just humoring a stupid paleface who has a thing for his son."

She grabbed my wrist as I tried to hand the cigarette back. "Shut your trap, squaw. And apparently his son has more than 'a thing' for you."

I chuckled. "Yeah, and I destroyed him. He didn't come home last night."

"What did you tell him?" she asked finishing the butt.

"Straight? I told him he was making me his 'little wife' like the creep who tried to rape me last year. No wonder he won't face me again." I kicked the tree now and it didn't straighten completely.

"Shit."

"Yeah. The one Jacob saved me from, half killing himself in the process. How much more of a stupid bitch could I be?"

"Holy shit." Her eyes were reeling, looking at the ground, then the tree over my head, then the school, then my eyes. She laughed. "No wonder I like you so much."

I wondered if she was still sane. She laughed again. "You must be the only person here with as crappy a life as I have."

I snickered. "So tell me your story. Make me feel better," I teased, sticking my hands in my jacket pockets.

"My Dad beats the crap outta my mom on a daily basis. Pretty sure he's raping her, too. Doesn't seem as bad to me now. I mean, he's not beating or raping me..."

"Nah, I get it. You blame yourself because you can't stop him. You can't make him be a man and you can't make her leave. At least I don't have to go back to that monster day after day. You got a raw deal, Ruby."

She looked at me with questioning eyes. "How?"

"Trick I learned from my Dad. He's practically a mind reader." I chuckled.

She shook her head. "So now you know why I always skip Lore. I don't want anything to do with him and his 'culture'" She made air quotes as she said it. "I don't want to be a filthy Indian."

"You know he's not typical, right? There are really good men here on the res. Your Dad could use some lessons from Billy Black. He knows how to treat people with respect. Fear sometimes, too, but respect. That's why I won't skip Lore. I want to learn everything I can about how to be Quileute. So let's make a deal. You teach me everything you know about how to be a filthy Indian, and I'll teach you everything I know about why they aren't filthy." I smiled at her.

She snorted. "Deal." She slapped my outstretched hand.

Jacob wasn't at lunch either. I left Ruby to go find Claire again. I really needed to talk to another imprint. "Claire, can I talk to you alone?" I asked, looking at her friends.

"Sure. I'll see you guys later." She waved to her friends and walked with me to an empty patch of grass. "What's the matter, Nessie?"

Did I look that bad today? Classmates who hadn't introduced themselves had asked if I was all right. "I... I hurt Jacob, last night. Bad. I didn't mean to. I didn't know what I was doing. Claire, do you have one of these?" I asked pushing back my sleeve.

She nodded. "Oh, sure. Quil gave me a WeiHa when I turned five." She pulled back her sleeve to show me.

"Yeah, and you knew what it meant, right?"

"That he would never leave me." Her eyes went dreamy. I remembered feeling that way.

"Yeah. I didn't know that was what it meant. I thought it was like a wedding ring. Like a sign to everyone else saying, 'this girl belongs to me.'" She looked at me like I was nuts. "So, I told Jacob I wasn't sure I wanted a new one."

She put her hands over her mouth and tears came to her eyes. "You didn't!"

I tried not to get angry. "I didn't know, Claire. No one told me." I put my face in my hands. "I haven't seen Jacob since last night. I don't know if he's all right. If he's mad at me. If he thinks I'm still mad at him." I felt tears on my face and bit my lip, scrubbing them away.

On the other side of the space I heard boys. "Jake! What happened to you bro? Pick a fight?"

I turned to see him, walking toward his friends. I instinctively pulled him. He staggered a step and I stopped. I didn't want to make him come to me. He didn't look in my direction. I felt tears in my eyes again.

"He's Okay," Claire told me happily. "Everything is good now. I'll see you Saturday," she half sang as she went to rejoin her friends.

I walked up to his table. I wouldn't make him come to me, but I was going to him. I tried to put a smile on my face as I approached, but I kept my eyes safely down. When I got nearer their group, I made it look like I was going to drift by. I let my hand brush his shoulder. I sent an old image, one that Edward hated, one of he and I - older. His head snapped up, but I was already walking away, my hands jammed back in my pockets. I'd apologize more later.

Lore today was story time - Quileute origin myths. They were mesmerizing. Of course, the sweet grass definitely contributed to that effect. Ruby ditched, of course, but it was better now that I knew why. Joseph took her absence as an opportunity to sit next to me. I tried to seem happier than I had earlier in the day, but it was still difficult. He put a hand on my shoulder at one point and let me lean on him. It was nice. It was almost like Jacob. He flinched and shifted my weight a little against his chest. I straightened.

"Jacob Black?" he asked me. I closed my eyes and cursed quietly. I nodded and turned my attention back to the story. I'd tell him more later.

"So, that was weird." I told him, hoping to diffuse things.

"Yeah. Are we telepathic or something?" he snickered.

I laughed, too. "Maybe." If he stuck with that, I might be in the clear.

"So he's the one who - " He touched my right arm.

"Yeah. I got a new one last night." I showed it to him.

"I don't understand. How could he give you five already?"

"I keep gaining weight?" I suggested flippantly.

He snorted. "Yeah, right."

"How do you know how many?" I asked.

He picked up my wrist and pushed back my sleeve and pointed into the braid. "This is one." He pointed to one strand that was red. "This is two." He pointed to a blue one. "This is three." It was pink. "This is four." A green one. "And this is five." It was golden yellow.

"So what are all the other colors for?" I asked stepping closer so I could see the WeiHa as he pointed.

"This is the Earth. This is blood. This is breath." He pointed to different strands in the weave as he spoke. "Together they give life. Which is what he gives you." He dropped my hand and looked a little angry. "You asked if you could have more than one. What would you do if more than one man gave you his life?"

I froze. Mama. She had had that choice. She had had to make it. "I don't know. I would have to split myself in two, so I could give one to each of them." I thought longer, harder. "Or I would love one of them so much that it made enough love for the second." He couldn't know what I was referring to, but I felt a warm glow spread through me. "Thank you, Joseph. Thank you so much." I hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Do you know where the senior class is now?"

"Umm, the woods probably." He had his hands at my waist.

I hugged him again. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I ran into the woods and found the seniors beginning a dance. It must be their Lore class. Rather than interrupt, I climbed a tree to watch. Jacob looked pitiful. I'd left an awful bruise on his jawline. His mouth was uncharacteristically turned down. He tromped through his steps, but it was obvious his heart wasn't in it.

"I love you, Jacob Black." I whispered. Then I sang for him. All of it was quiet enough that his class wouldn't hear. Well, there were one or two from Sam's pack in his class who did, but they were discreet. I sang my love, wordless and haunting. I crooned in time to the beating drum, encouraging him to dance for me. He closed his eyes finally and stopped shuffling. He started to stomp. He started to smile. He started to laugh. He lingered as his class left.

"Come down, silly raven," he teased.

I jumped into his arms. "I choose you. That's all I ever wanted. The chance to choose." I kissed him. As I did I showed him all my beautiful dreams in full color, bright and dazzling. Our baby was smiling at us, my father walked me down the aisle with pride.

He broke the kiss with a sigh. "You have no idea how much I want that."

"I have an idea. Because it's probably just about as much as I do. I also want this." I kissed him again and lingered on thoughts that would make Edward growl. I imagined him holding me, kissing me differently than now. Taking me into his bed. He growled when he broke the kiss this time.

"Careful, Nessie. You aren't grown up enough for that, but I am," he warned and kissed me more violently. My eyes flew open as his tongue pried apart my lips. I gasped.

"No more teasing," he taunted.

"Yes, 'cubby."

He laughed. "You finally pick a nickname for me?"

"Yep. Jacob, cub, cubby. Kinda like hubby too." I smiled broadly. I'd always wanted a name for Jacob, like I had for Mama. Mama meant 'one who held me'. Now Cubby meant 'one I pulled'.

"I like it," he said.

"Well, I don't think I'll use it as freely as Mama, but more than I call Edward, Dad, Okay?"

"That sounds fine," he said with a broad smile and rubbed my nose with his.

"I'm sorry I punched you," I said, needing to get it out.

"No you aren't." He laughed.

I laughed, too. "You're right, I'm not. I am sorry I bruised you though. Why hasn't that healed yet anyway?"

"Nessie, you broke my jaw. It is healing."

My eyes went wide. "I AM sorry!"

He laughed. "Don't be. I deserved it. Next time I give you a present, I'll make sure you know what it means. I'm just glad you didn't break your hand."

I laughed remembering Mama punching Jacob when she was still human. "Me, too." I kissed him again. He started to carry me away, back to Billy's house, home.