Have you ever been sitting in bed, bored out of your bucking feathers? Yeah, well I have! So, here I am, sitting on my flank, fidgeting my hooves around like a mare high on horse tranquilizers! I tried to think happy thoughts, hoping maybe they would ease my boredom. Didn't work! Then, I thought about exercising, which only took a quick glance at the darkness outside before I turned that down, too. I've got at least two hours until I gotta fly down to Twilights, and I have NOTHING to do! Gah!

I mean, I did manage to get a few hours of sleep, so I'm not gonna be exhausted or anything... Which is kinda the reason why I'm bored! Too early to do anything, too late to sleep.

"Alright, I've had it! I can't take this anymore!" I yelled while looking around the room for something to relieve me of this boredom. "Where the buck is it!? I know you're out there, big dildo friend of mine! Come on, show yourself, and taste the awesomeness of the Rainbow!" Man, something about that sentence seemed wrong, but I honestly didn't care. I just wanted something to help me pass the time, and clopping is a surefire way to make everything in the world come faster! Heh, see what I did there? Yea, I'm cleverly awesome!

It took a while, and my house is now a total mess, but I finally managed to find what I was looking for! Well, kinda. I didn't actually find the dildo that I took home after my epic prank, but I did find a wing vibrator! "Heh, I guess you'll have to do" I said with a smirk. "Winggasm skyway here I come!"

However, before I was able to clamp the device around my wings, somepony decided to knock on my door. "Rainbow! Are you awake?" The unknown mood killer spoke from outside. Seriously, just my bucking luck! I mean, first I get attacked by two evil stallions, and now I can't even clop in the privacy of my own home? What has this world come to?

"Ugh, hang on!" Is all I could manage to say, before promptly hiding the toy, and greeting my unwelcomed guest. Though, my mood quickly changed once I discovered it was Twilight at the door, and that the sun was somehow up. I guess I spent a little bit too long searching for that damn dildo, which I've yet to find! Seriously, I had it in plain sight last night, and then, poof! It pulled a Pinkie and vanished!

"Uh, hey Twi! What's up?" I asked, a small blush on my face at having her of all ponies interrupt my morning clop. I mean, she did kinda rape me, you know. So, it's kinda awkward.

"Hey Rainbow. Can I come in?" Before I was able to answer her, she shoved her way past me, entering my house. The next thing I heard was an audible gasp, followed by some kind of incoherent muttering.

"R. ..you..how...house...mess..what...why...no...RAINBOW!" She muttered, and then screamed my name after her mind snapped back to whatever reality she came from. "What happened here, Rainbow?"

"Uh, oh that? Yea, I was looking for something, and kinda got carried away. Heh. Sorry about the mess" I said with a hint of embarrassment.

Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask.

"What were you looking for?" Dammit!

"Well, I.. It doesn't matter. Why are you here, Twi? It isn't 8 yet, is it?"

"No, but it is 7:30. We figured you would have been at the library by now, considering it was you that they attacked."

"Huh, yea I guess I lost track of time. Sorry about that, Twi. So, should we go down now?"

"Lead the way. Oh, and Rainbow? Please be on your best behavior in front of the Princesses. We don't want a repeat of last time, do we?" Twilight asked, smirking.

"Gah, how many times do I gotta apologize for that, Twilight? I mean, seriously! It happened ONCE, and it wasn't even my fault! I mean, it wasn't entirely my fault! Pinkie was there too, you know!"

"Hehe, Rainbow. Don't worry, I know you'll behave. Just wanted to see you get worked up over nothing. You're right, this stuff is rather fun!" she said, smirk replaced by a light blush. She… seriously just wanted to see how I'd react to that? I guess I'm rubbing off on her. Heh.

"Whatever. Can we get going now, or what?"

"Sure Rainbow, lead the way." Twilight replied with a sigh before following me out of the door.

The flight to Ponyville would have taken me less than five minutes, but because I had Twilight with me, it took us around half an hour to actually land in front of Twilight's library. I suppose that's the problem with slow fliers; they're so bucking slow!

After we entered the library, Twilight suddenly froze in her place, allowing me to promptly shove my unsuspecting muzzle into her purple flank. "Princess!" Twilight screamed in shock, while I just stood there, also in shock at having walked into the backside of my studious friend. "You're early!" Twilight once again yelled.

That's when I realized that my muzzle was literally an inch away from Twilight's marehood, and it took my mind a considerable shake to snap me back, both physically and mentally. Thankfully, I managed to regain control of myself fairly quickly, though I was tempted to shove my tongue inside of her, just to see her squirm. Heh.

"Uh, they're not early, Twi. It took us thirty minutes to fly here. Considering how slow you were, I'm amazed it didn't take us longer." I pointed out with a smirk, while Applejack just kept looking at me with a rather devious grin on her face. "Got a problem, AJ?"

"Ya'll got a little somethin' on yer' face" said AJ, her devious smile turning into a full blown smirk. Before I was able to retort, I felt something dripping off of me. Some type of liquid. Some type of… marejuice? This… came from Twilight...

Thankfully, before anypony else was able to notice the unusual fluid on my muzzle, Princess Celestia spoke up.

"We have a rather important matter to discuss" she said, addressing all of us in the room, before looking directly at me. Thankfully by then, I had managed to wipe away the marejuice from my muzzle. Though, all she did was smile at me, not saying a word. Did she know? No, that wasn't possible.

Twilight quickly spoke up. "Uh, yes Princess. That's correct. As I'm sure Princess Luna has told you, Rainbow Dash was attacked by two pegasi just outside of my library. They were searching for a letter that Rainbow was given just before the attack, and the letter itself mentioned a Venom of the Night Sky. Do you know what that is?" Twilight asked. Celestia seemed to nod as a response, though she seemed rather distraught by something.

"I'm afraid I do, Twilight. They were once a very powerful kingdom, predating Equestria by thousands of years. There are many rumours about them, but little actual knowledge. All we know for certain is that they rose to power in a very short time, and vanished just as fast as they appeared."

"Vanished? How could something so powerful simply vanish?" Asked Twilight as she took a few steps closer to the princess.

"Twilight, we do not know. As Sister has said, there is little that we know of them. Until today, we did not even know that they had indeed existed, thinking it of myth or legend." Princess Luna answered this time, instead of Celestia.

"Uh-huh, so why the hay did I receive that letter? I mean, I get that I'm the element of loyalty and all, but why send it to me now?"

"Honestly, neither one of us knows the answer to that, Rainbow Dash. Rest assured we will do everything we can to find out, but until then, I urge you all to take extra precautions. We may be dealing with an enemy of immense power, one that we know little about. So please, do what you can to remain safe, though do not make it apparent that there is a danger. Panic is not something we wish to spread." Princess Celestia said, looking at me. I rolled my eyes as a response.

After everything had been said, Princess Celestia and Luna returned to Canterlot, leaving us standing in the middle of the library with nothing to do. That is until Twilight decided to basically kick us all out.

"Well, just what do we do now, Twilight?" Asked Rarity.

"I suppose we just go about our normal daily lives until the princess says otherwise." Said Twilight, before adding; "and don't forget to keep this all to yourselves."

As we were all heading towards the door, Twilight called me back in. "Rainbow, can I talk with you for a moment? In private?"

"Uh, sure Twi. What's up?"

Twilight started to levitate a fairly large object that she had hidden behind a desk, moving it towards us at a steady pace. It took my mind a second to realize what the object was, and when I did, I knew I was in for one hay of a night.

You see, the object in question? Yea, it was my big black dildo friend, the one that I was up all night searching for. The one that I never found, because apparently Twilight had somehow managed to steal it without me noticing.


And that's when I ran out of paper.