Warning: This chapter is mostly filler, but there's important stuff toward the end. And you hear a bit more about John's mom.


Alacrity (n): Cheerful willingness; celerity

John's first day of school was great. He didn't understand why some people got so melodramatic about moving to Washington and starting new lives—it was awesome! He made so many friends, and his teachers all really liked him right away, and there wasn't even any homework.

His dad picked him up and took him home, asking him about his day, if there were any problems, things like that. John eagerly started talking about how his math teacher was a Vietnam war veteran and his new friend Vriska who liked Nic Cage (almost) as much as he did. His dad seemed really genuinely happy for him. John was happy for his dad too. There were no bags under his eyes. He must have slept well.

His dad told him about how he found a new job—nothing too exciting, just office work, but it was relaxing, and the work took his mind off things. He told John about some people he'd met who loved fedoras and clowns (almost) as much as he did. After that they lapsed into peaceful silence.

When they got home, John's dad immediately went to the kitchen to bake a "First Day of Work/School" cake and John managed to abscond to his room.

Vriska, Tavros, and Gamzee had all given him their chumhandles. He'd asked Karkat, but Karkat had spaced out since he'd made that comment about his breakup and didn't notice him asking. He'd ask him tomorrow.

He invited the three to be chums, then noticed his sister online and pestered her.

[3:12] – ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 15:32 –

EB: jade!

EB: what's up, little sis?

GG: whoa, little sister?

GG: who was born first, john?

GG: me!

EB: hehe, i know you were

EB: you usually don't respond if i don't do something like that though!

GG: maybe if you wouldn't call me little sister, i would!

EB: but you did!

GG: ugh

GG: shut up, john!

EB: yeah, whatever, jade!

EB: anyway…

EB: how are you?

GG: really?

GG: we just went through all that for you to ask me how i am?

GG: really?

EB: i just wanted to know

EB: i mean, i'm doing great!

EB: schools fun

EB: making new friends and stuff

EB: but i wanna know how you are without me and dad to be strong manly influences!

GG: john, i think i have enough of a manly influence with grandpa jake around

EB: hehe, yeah

EB: but i still just wanted to ask

GG: im doing well!

GG: i mean, we all miss you

GG: even dave, though he doesn't like to show it or talk about it :P

EB: hows mom?

GG: shes…good

GG: she calmed down a bit since you two left

GG: i hope shes even better by thanksgiving so we can visit you guys!

GG: i want to see you and dad, but i don't want to leave her and grandpa alone :(

EB: yeah, i can understand that

EB: especially if grandpa jake decides to go hunt us a fresh turkey again like last year

GG: oh god

GG: stop making me want to not come

GG: not want to come?

GG: want to stay

GG: stop making me want to stay!

EB: sorry!

EB: ill stop

EB: hold on a second, vriska's pestering me

GG: vriska?

EB: this nice girl i met today

EB: don't know if youd like her, but i think shes really cool!

EB: ill be right back

[3:33] – ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] at 15:33 –

John closed the chat window on his sister and opened the blinking one with Vriska's username.

[3:32] – arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 15:32 –

AG: John!

AG: Joooooooohn!

AG: Answer me! ::::(

EB: sorry vriska!

EB: i was talking to my sister

AG: You have a sister?

EB: yep!

EB: her names jade

EB: she still lives in new york with mom and grandpa though

AG: Oh.

EB: yeah

EB: i miss her to death and stuff but she decided to stay

EB: gotta respect that!

AG: Yes you do, John.

AG: Yes you do.

EB: yeah

EB: so um

EB: what did you want to talk to me about?

AG: I'm glad you asked!

AG: You claim to 8e a great prankster.

AG: I want to put that to the test.

EB: vriska

EB: dude

EB: i am not a great prankster

AG: You aren't?

EB: i am

EB: the PRANKING MASTER

AG: ::::D

AG: That's what I like to hear!

AG: 8ut you still have to prove it.

EB: name the time and place, vriska

EB: i will prank the shit out of anyone you choose

AG: Wellllllll…

AG: How a8out tomorrow night at the park?

EB: tell me how to get there

EB: ive literally lived in this town for a week

AG: Here, I'll just send you a Google Maps starting at the school.

AG: Bring your pranking supplies.

AG: Midnight.

AG: I'll see you there.

AG: ::::)

[3:50] – arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist at 15:50 –

Vriska stopped pestering John almost immediately after he agreed to her mysterious pranking challenge. John just hoped it wouldn't be anything too intense, since most of his pranking stuff (hand buzzers, cans of snakes, various buckets that could be filled with various liquids) were still in boxes that he'd been too lazy to label.

He considered telling Rose about it—Rose was one of his best friends and usually gave great advice—but she'd probably chastise him about his alacrity to do something he knew basically nothing about with someone he knew basically knew nothing about.

Screw that. He was doing it, whether it was a smart idea or not.

He completely forgot about talking to his sister again, and instead decided to unearth his movie collection. He sat on his bed for ten minutes trying to decide what Nicolas Cage movie to watch until his dad came up and told him there was cake waiting for him.

"Daaaaad!" John whined. "I don't want any cake. It's probably Batterwitch anyway…"

John's dad just smiled. "Of course, son. It will still be there when you come down later after you finish whatever you're doing, though. Feel free to have some anytime."

"Daaad." His dad finally left.

John smiled to himself afterward. Finally, things were going back to normal.


AN: Gosh, Vriska. I sure hope nothing goes wrong at this pranking thing you've got planned. (To be honest even I don't know at this point.)

Who liked that really subtle negative Twilight reference at the beginning? God, I just...subtle negative Twilight references are the best. Y'know?

Also, John's math teacher, the Vietnam war vet, is AR. He's going to have a fun math class.

And I changed "Mr. Slick", the band teacher, to "Mr. Noir", because Jack is more of a normal first name than Spades. :'D