Title: Look Who's Talking
Authoress: Ladya C. Maxine
Rating: G
Summary: see chapter one
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters. Any and all unrecognizable characters belong solely to me and are not to be touched. I am not making any money off of this and I write with the sole intention to entertain.
"Hey! Wait up!"
"Why should I? Besides, this is my favorite climbing tree! Go find your own!"
"Nuh-uh!"
Ever had one of those moments where you find yourself in a situation but, try as you might, you couldn't understand how you got there in the first place? That strange feeling of 'What on earth?' that, despite your uttermost inner soul-searching, you cannot begin to explain? Ever had a day so confusing and painful that you promised yourself to banish it from your thoughts the moment the day was over?
Push
Thump
"OOOWW! DAAAAD! SESSHOUMARU PUSHED ME OUT OF THE TREE!"
"I did not! You're just a clumsy ox!"
Today was one of those days.
It wasn't fair, really. It had started off normal enough. Actually, yesterday had started normal enough; the consequences of his poor clairvoyance abilities just dragged on till today. But back to the beginning (aka yesterday).
Inuyasha had disappeared sometime after lunch, only to be found by a servant during the evening meal (need he add, hours later). The startled servant had gone down to the cellar for a couple bottles of wine when he heard a dull thumping from one of the many empty barrels. Locating the source, he had been shocked to find the youngest member of the royal family locked within, bound and gagged and covered with honey and feathers, making him resemble one rather big chicken.
"Stop shaking the branch, you jerk!"
"I'm not!"
Izayoi, understandably upset, had crushed the shaken, sticky pup against her, an ideal image of a worried mother. Inutaisho was man, er…male enough to admit that it had been a moving moment…Too bad it hadn't lasted very long.
Inutaisho (as well as everyone in the palace with at least two active neurons) had strongly suspected the culprit to be none other than the heir to the Western Lands; Sesshoumaru's innocent look was about as convincing as the Devil in a cheap sheep's clothing. Besides, the sticky, golden stains on the sleeves of the pup's robes had been all too obvious. Unfortunately, no one had been brave enough to try and convince the First Lady of the Western Lands otherwise. No one, that is, except Izayoi.
"Hey look, a caterpillar!"
"Eew! Those things are disgusting!"
"Yeah?...Catch!"
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Thump
"DAAAAAAAAAD! SESSHOUMARU THREW A BUG AT ME AND I FELL OUT OF THE TREE, AGAIN!"
"I did not!"
Like aforementioned, the argument had only lulled while the women had slept (in different rooms; leaving him with the whole bed for himself. Joy) and come that morning they had been rejuvenated and ready for Round 2, which had transpired at the breakfast table. Heated glares, set lips, twitching brows, glowing eyes, glowing claws, burnt silverware; Inutaisho could do nothing more than pull the boys to sit next to him to ensure that his heirs didn't get damaged in the impending scuffle. And then, as always, he tried to intervene. And, as always, it came right round a bit him in the butt.
Larika has literally hissed at him and Izayoi, briefly covering Inuyasha's ears, had called him something that made Sesshoumaru giggle though his own mother's glare had ensured that he would never repeat it for as long as she lived.
"Ha! Bet you can't do this!"
"No fair! Why don't I have floating powers too?"
"You do, you idiot!"
"Really?...Are you sure?"
"Yup. Try it. Just hold out your arms and step off the branch."
"Alright…"
…Thump
"OOOOOOOOOOOOWW!"
"Ha ha! Dork! Hanyou's can't float in midair!"
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! SESSHOUMARU TOLD ME I COULD FLOAT AND I TRIED AND I FELL OUT OF THE TREE, AGAIN!"
"It's not my fault you're so gullible!"
"gasp…DAAAAAAAD! SESSHOUMARU SAID A DIRTY WORD!"
"I did not!"
And then it had happened.
Somehow, someway…He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment, but when it was all said and done the women had apologized to one another (somehow forgetting that this had all been caused by the eldest pup), and had hugged each other, dabbing their eyes with napkins as they went on to tell the other that they were good mothers who only wanted what was best for their children. In fact, to ensure that their 'angels' would get the best, they had then decided to go to a nearby village to buy their sons' winter apparels for the upcoming snowy months. Inutaisho, by now just realizing that they were no longer fighting, had been relieved of his wallet and given a final scolding for 'sticking-his-nose-in-other-peoples-business' before the two women happily strolled out of the room.
That happened hours ago and neither females had yet returned. Honestly, yet secretly, he was relieved since it meant that he didn't have to walk on egg shells in his own palace for once. However, he had soon discovered that nothing worth having came easy. Or rather, nothing worth having came at all. He had been relieved of dealing with his beloved but difficult wives…only to find himself now the temporary babysitter of his beloved but downright stress-inducing sons.
Mornings usually saw the boys following lessons; Sesshoumaru's were more formal and challenging since he was older and the heir apparent, while Inuyasha's were mainly meant to keep him busy and allow his mother some time for herself. The boys would then spend their afternoons with their mothers. With the ladies of the house still on a shopping spree, the tutors had brought the pups to their father and despite his orders (and pleas) Inutaisho had been unable to convince any of the teachers to keep them until their mothers returned.
"Let's play hide and seek!"
"Oh please! That is so childish!"
"Fine, let's play jump rope!"
"That's so boring!"
"Chess?"
"As if you even know how!"
"Alright, let's play tag!"
"Hmmm…Okay. Tag-you-are-it!"
Tag/push
THUMP
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! SESSHOUMARU TAGGED ME AND PUSHED ME OUT OF THE TREE, AGAIN!"
"You wanted to play tag! And why do you keep climbing back up, anyways? I'm just gonna push you off again."
"Oh yeah?"
Scramble
Scuffle
"Yeah!"
Push
THUMP
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!"
"Sesshoumaru!" he finally barked, unable to ignore the headache his youngest son's constant screams had brought on. "Stop pushing your brother out of the tree before he gets a concussion!"
Inuyasha, rather bruised from his numerous falls, gasped at his father who was sitting a few feet away from where the two brothers had been…roughhousing.
"Dad, you said a bad word too!"
"sigh…Concussion is not a bad word, Inuyasha."
"Ooooh, you said it again! I'm telling mom!"
"That's it. Come here. The both of you," he growled, sitting up from where he had been leaning against the low wall. "Is this all you do during the afternoons? There are a hundred more productive ways to spend the time."
"Like flirting with mother's new chambermaid?" Sesshoumaru smirked, lying on his back on the small cloud he had generated.
"I have done no such thing," Inutaisho growled/coughed, looking up at the floating cloud above him. "Where did you hear such an absurd lie?"
"I've seen you," was the matter-of-fact answer. "You keep following her around and telling her lame jokes."
"For your information, she always laughs when I tell my jokes."
"Father, she wasn't laughing with you..."
Growling, he focused a fair amount of youki towards the puffy cloud above, effectively dissolving it with ease. Sesshoumaru yelped but was unable to create a new one and so landed rather undignified on the ground before the other two males, muttering a rather loud curse that made Inutaisho look around fearfully; if any of the servants heard it and reported it to Larika…
"As I was saying," he snarled at the smaller youkai who was now rubbing his sore rear with a scowl on his face, "there are better ways to spend your free time."
"Like what?" Inuyasha asked eagerly.
"Uh…I could tell you a story."
"It's not bedtime yet," Sesshoumaru scowled, idly burning a trail of ants in the grass with his acid.
"It isn't a bedtime story," he growled, hoping that he wouldn't be held responsible for the charred spots the pup was causing in his mother's beloved lawn.
Sesshoumaru shrugged, now reducing a butterfly, and the rather exotic rose it had been sitting on, to a pile of ashes.
"They put me to sleep all the same."
"Are you saying that I'm dull?"
"Um…" the pup considered the accusation for a moment. "Yeah, I think that pretty much sums it up."
"I like dad's stories!" Inuyasha spoke up.
"Simple minds are easy to please."
"Thanks!" The hanyou paused for a moment. "…I think."
"See what I mean?"
"Sesshoumaru, stop picking on your brother."
"Half-brother."
"Don't even start."
"Look who's talking."
"That's it. Get up!" he barked, standing to tower over both who started, looking up with wide eyes. "Come on! Let's go!"
"Where are we going, dad?" Inuyasha asked, scampering to his feet. Sesshoumaru followed though more out of bored curiosity than honest interest, or even obedience.
"It's time you boys learn how to hunt."
Aha! That sparked some life back into his eldest. Go figure.
"Hunt? We are going to hunt!" he asked, his true age finally showing itself that day. "Do we get to kill? Can I use my poison? Can we use the hanyou as bait?"
"Yes. Yes. Most likely. Maybe. And no. Anyways, the time has come for you both to learn how to fend for yourself yourselves."
Heh, that should be handy should he ever find a good enough reason to banish them from the castle for a certain amount of period. His wives wouldn't mind too much…right?
"Hey! The hanyou's still a baby; how come he gets to go hunt when I couldn't at his age?"
"I am so not a baby!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
(Inuyasha really needed to brush up on his grammar.)
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too, to infinity!"
"Are too, to double infinity!"
"There's no such thing as double infinity!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
To think that he used to think Ryuukotsusei a fool for not having any heirs…that damn dragon was obviously a much better clairvoyant than him. Probably laughed himself an accident upon hearing that his greatest rival had, not one, but two sons. Sadistic snake…
"Silence!" he shouted, bringing a halt to the bickering. "One more word out of either of you and the hunt is off. Got it?"
They nodded. Feeling a sense of satisfaction at having dealt with the situation, he turned, long ponytail flaring dramatically behind him (just for the cool effect), and began walking towards the forest that surrounded their home.
Thump
"Owww!"
Sighing, he looked over a shoulder. Inuyasha laid sprawled out on the ground, having apparently tripped over an invisible root though Sesshoumaru's devil-in-sheep's-clothing expression was self explanatory.
"Sesshoumaru, what did I tell you?" he growled.
The pup merely shrugged.
"I didn't say anything."
He opened his mouth, but found that he could not argue with the fact. If it was an consolation, that type of quick wit and evasiveness would serve his son good the day he took over these lands.
Even though…his enemies, not even Ryuukotsusei, deserved that…
Flashback
"So got yourself another son, huh?" the dragon lord asked lazily, inspecting his reflection in the blade of his sword despite them being locked in battle.
"As a matter of fact, I have," he answered proudly, gripping his own weapon, poised to attack.
"First one turned out as pathetic as you?"
"No!"
A wide grin as the dark-haired youkai leaned on his sword.
"Ah. So you agree that you are pathetic?"
"…"
End flashback
On second thought, Ryuukotsusei would deserve it.
Damn, he hated that snake so much.
Tbc…
Wasn't planning on adding Ryuukotsusei in this chapter, but he's kinda become a steadfast element.
These are supposed to be random pieces, but the next chapter will be the outcome of the 'hunt'. I just couldn't resist.
Read & Review, please.
