Of Blackmail, Nudity, and Squares -

Lily looked around at all of us before saying dramatically, "NEVER HAVE I EVER!"

The reactions around the room were of a wide variety.

Alice, Sophie, and Lana - who had no doubt heard about it before from Lily - looked excited beyond belief. Well, Lana always looked excited, but Alice and Sophie were matching her excitement level, for once.

Remus, who probably knew about it just because it's a habit of his to know everything, looked nervous, in the extreme.

Frank, who looked between Remus and his girlfriend's expression, looked worried because the combination couldn't be good.

Sirius, who had drank too much to actually care what game we played, just looked excited at all the different emotion in the room.

Peter, who really should learn to form his own opinions, kept looking at Remus and I, at least smart enough to realize that Sirius wouldn't be a very good judge of reaction at the moment, trying to decide what he should be feeling.

As for myself? Well, I didn't really know what to think. I hadn't heard about this game from Lily or Muggle Studies, which I had taken to learn more about all the stuff Lily always talked about.

This show of emotions happened in a flash, and the next second we were all begging for an explanation, which Lily happily obliged. "Okay, so in Never Have I Ever, you sit in a circle with a bottle of Firewhiskey. The first person goes, and they say 'Never have I ever...' And say something that they've never done that they think other people have. Then you pass the bottle of Firewhiskey around, and whoever has done whatever the person said they didn't has to take a shot! Oh, and since we can use magic, I'm going to put a truth circle around us, so no lying. And for the sake of time, how about we play until somebody has had to take 5 shots?"

Now that she had explained, everyone was eager. Well, except for Remus. Ah, poor bloke. Always afraid that somebody would find out about his furry little problem. Of course, most of the people here already knew, but he still had to worry about Alice, Frank, Lana, and Sophie. Lily, being the genius she is, had figured it out in third year. And totally hadn't judged him, I'm proud to say.

Sirius grinned. "Sounds spiffing. Let's play!"

Laughing, Lana screamed. "I get to go first!!"

"Er," Lily interrupted, "Maybe I should go first. To, you know, demonstrate?"

Lana pouted. "But I wanna go first!!"

I snorted; she sounded like a little kid!

She glared at me. "Jamsie-poo, make your meanie girlfriend let me go first!!"

I narrowed my eyes at her. She did NOT just go and bring up the nickname she had given me back when we were five and making mudpies in our backyard. Oh yeah, did I mention that Lana's my next door neighbor? Well, she is. We've known each other since we were born, but we never knew the other had magic. It had been crazy when we saw each other at the Sorting on September first!! Anywho, now that she had gone and pulled the 'evil nickname' card, I had to give in. I knew what she was silently threatening. She would tell the whole school every nickname we'd had for each other, of which 'Jamsie-poo' was the least embarrassing.

Sighing, I tried to convince Lily. "Er, Lily, I think she should go first... I mean, she knows how to play, and we've kind of already established a tradition that Lana goes first for all the games..."

Lily gave me an odd look, but didn't argue. "Er, okay then? All right, let's circle up."

When everyone was rearranging, Lily whispered in my ear. "What was that about?"

I shrugged, not wanting to tell her that I had just been blackmailed by her best friend. "Oh nothing, just Lana being Lana."

She apparently thought this was explanation enough, which in a way it is, because she didn't ask anything else.

After we had all settled down and Lily had cast her weird truth circle thing, Lana began. "All right! Never have I ever, er... Seen Lucius Malfoy naked!"

We all guffawed. "Ewwwwwwwwwww!" The girls squealed.

Still laughing, I said, "Lana dearie, that's a bad mental image. We shouldn't do that, because nobody has! ...Right?" I looked around the room, making sure nobody had been scarred like that.

Everyone shuddered for an answer, and so I continued. "Right, so we should only do stuff that at least one person has done, okay?"

She pouted. "Fine. Er... Never have I ever... Pulled a prank that didn't work!"

Bloody hell. Feeling really embarrassed, Sirius, Peter, Alice, and I took a shot of Firewhiskey.

Lily looked at me in surprise. "Three fourths of the Marauders pulled a prank that didn't work??? Do tell!"

I groaned as Remus laughed, remembering. "Oh yeah!! I had nearly forgotten about that. Well see, in about... second year, I was out visiting my mum, and they decided that wanted to pull a prank. Well, in a completely modest way, without me there to consult with, it failed, horribly."

Everyone laughed, and I hid behind Lily's hair, which my face probably matched. "What'd they try to do?" Lily asked.

I groaned again and Remus answered. "They tried to switch the genders of the Slytherins. They got caught when Sirius yelled too loud when they couldn't get in the Common Room. They got a month's detention. It was pretty hilarious."

Everyone laughed at us. "All right, all right," I said, trying to turn the attention away from our major failure. "So Alice, what's your story?"

Alice laughed. "Ahem. Well see, one holiday, I wanted to try my hand at pranking my older sister and her boyfriend... To be perfectly honest, I sucked."

We joined her laughing. When we'd all settled down again, it was Lily's turn. "Never have I ever... Drinken any alcohol before this night!"

We all laughed at her. "Lily dearest, we all have. So, let's not waste time like that. Try again."

She pouted, but thought of something else. "Okay... Never have I ever seen Sirius naked!" She stuck her tongue out at Lana, who looked guilty.

I shuddered. Ew, bad memories.

Sirius looked confused. "Wait. I've seen myself naked, does that count?"

Every laughed, and nodded. He and I took a drink, as did Lana, and to everyone's surprise, Sophie.

Apparently though, mine was most surprising. "Ew, James! You've seen him naked?!"

"Shut up!" I pouted, throwing a pillow at Moony. "I came up to our dorm once and he was shagging some random bimbo. Do you guys have any idea how scarring that was for me?!"

They laughed, and then turned to Sophie. "Pretty much the same thing happened to me. I was patrolling once and caught him and some slut in a broom closet."

Everyone laughed again, he seems to get caught in those situations a lot. Next was Lana, who looked embarrassed, or as embarrassed as Lana can get. "Er, well, one time in fifth year... Remember those few hours that we dated? Well... A lot happened in those few hours..."

Everyone shuddered, and I glared at Sirius. He shags my best friend and doesn't even bother to tell me about it? I ought to punch him.

Yeah, I get protective of Lana sometimes... We've always been really close, and well... I ought to punch Sirius.

It was my turn, and everyone turned to me expectantly. "Er... Never have I ever... Told someone I love them and not meant it." I said, with a wink in Lily's direction, who instantly blushed. It was no secret that I'd told her I loved her multiple times, back in the days when I asked her out every day.

Unsurprisingly, Sirius and Lana both took a shot. Lily, however, was more surprised. "Lana!" She hissed in disbelief.

Lana shrugged shamelessly. "What? Sometimes guys need a little coddling and encouraging." She said with a wink at Sirius, who laughed his bark of a laugh.

"Funny, Lana." He said between laughs. "I was about to say the same about some chicks I've been with."

We all laughed, how unbelievably Lana-and-Sirius-like.

Sirius bounced up to his feet, holding his head while doing so. "MY TURN!" He sang.

We all stared at him and Moony said, "Er, Pads, why are you standing up?"

He looked confused. "Uh, the real question is why you wankers are sitting down!"

Laughing, I pulled him back down to the ground before he humiliated himself more.

"All right, all right. Don't have to be so pushy, Prongs." He grumbled, but then lit back up when he realized he got to say something. "Okay, never have I ever been turned down!"

Laughing, we waited for the truth circle to start saying he was lying. When it didn't, he gave us condescending looks.

"Wait," Sophie said in her soft voice, "Didn't that one girl Hailee turn you down in fifth year?"

Sirius snorted. "Puh-lease! Do you remember what a troll she was in fifth year? She just made that up as some pathetic attempt for attention. I didn't ask her out until sixth year, when she got hot."

Lily laughed. "So, you still asked her out after she proved she was pathetic?"

Padfoot shrugged. "Well, if 'ask out' can be translated into 'snogged her senseless in a broom closet once', then yeah; I asked her out.'"

We all laughed. "Merlin, Siri, you're such a man whore." Lana said, using the nickname she had taken to calling him after hearing one of his more crazy stalker call him that.

He looked smug. "Whatever, if you've ever been rejected, drink up!"

I took a drink, to no one's surprise. Lily had turned me down countless times before finally agreeing. Alice took a drink also, which again, didn't shock anyone. Back in first year, she had a huge crush on some jerk seventh year, who had of course rejected her. Peter took a drink, because he asks girls out all the time, and always gets turned down.

And then, to everyone's immense surprise, Lana took a drink.

"Lana?!" Sirius screeched in dismay. "You've been rejected? What dunderhead turned you down?!"

Laughing, Lana said. "Jamsie-poo!"

I groaned remembering the story. Lily looked between us in disbelief, and something else, before saying in an uneasy voice, "Lana, you, er, asked James out?"

Lana giggled. "Jealous, are we, Lils?"

Lily's face instantly reddened, and Lana giggled more, encouraged. "What if I told you that Jamsie-poo and I were secret lovers long before he even met you?"

Lily's face went from embarrassed red to an angry red. And she growled. I'm not kidding. Lily Evans growled. Because she was jealous. Because of me. I'm not gonna lie, that may be the biggest turn on in the world.

Chuckling, I said, "Hey Lana Banana? I think you may want to tell Lily the truth before she bites your head off and eats you for dinner."

Giggling again, Lana said, "All right, all right, don't eat me, Lils. I was just kidding. James is so not my type." Lily didn't say anything, just waited for further explanation. So, with a sigh, Lana continued. "Anywho, we were, like, nine. And, as you can imagine, I was very... advanced for my age. I had already kissed a bloke or two, and was no stranger to gentlemanly charm. And well, James was my best friend, so I just kind of asked him out. James was absolutely terrified, and ran away. He didn't talk to me for like a whole two hours, before he got bored and wanted to play more Quidditch."

Everyone laughed, and Lily looked slightly mollified. She grinned at Lana sheepishly. "Oopsy daisy. Sorry about that."

They laughed still, but I whispered in her ear, causing her to shiver. "It's all right, you're crazy sexy when you're jealous."

She just blushed more.

"All right, Moony, you're up!" Peter squeaked, saying something for the first time.

"Hm... Never have I ever... Kissed somebody of the opposite gender just for the heck of it." He said, throwing Sirius a teasing look.

Sirius groaned. "I think you're all just trying to get me smashed."

We laughed, and he took a shot, along with me, Lana, Lily, and Frank.

I looked at Lily in shock, and saw that she was giving me the same look. She explained first though. "Er, I went to one of my sister's parties once, and well there was this bloke who kept following me, so I took pity on him and well, yeah."

I pouted. "So I follow you for six years and you don't take pity on me, but you take pity on some random bloke when he follows you for one party?"

She smirked. "What can I say, it's so much more fun playing hard to get with you."

I grinned, then explained myself to her. "Well, I was a little down one time when you rejected me..."

She gave me an apologetic smile, and I just shrugged. I didn't really care about the numerous times I'd been rejected now that I finally had her.

We all looked at Frank expectantly. He shrugged. "Eh, one holiday in Italy I got a little bored."

Laughing, we moved on to Peter.

Right before he spoke though, Sirius shouted. "OH MY MERLIN, MATES!"

We all looked at him in alarm.

"I just realized, that Lana, Prongs, and I have 4 shots!!! The game is almost over!!"

Aw, he's right. Everyone looked as sad as I was; it's a fun game.

"Oh well, guys." Lily said. "I have a good game planned next."

Properly cheered up, we let Peter continue. "Er, never have I ever... Never have I ever... Uh, Remus, little help here?"

Rolling his eyes, Remus whispered a suggestion to Peter. Wormtail's eyes lit up and he said, "Oh, right! Never have I ever shagged somebody!!"

Everyone laughed, but we weren't surprised.

"Geez, Wormy!" Sirius said. "We need to get you a girl!"

I looked at Lily sheepishly before taking my shot. She surprised me back by taking a shot of her own. My jaw dropped and my thoughts became incoherent. Not a virg... What dirtbag would... Punch his lights out... And finally, Why didn't she tell me?

She looked at me, obviously worried about my reaction. I controlled my face, and with a steel look to Remus, telling him to keep the others distracted, I pulled Lily off to the side.

"Lily, have something to tell me?" I asked in a tight voice.

She hunkered down for a second, but then straightened up to meet my challenge. "I could ask you the same thing, James." She said, with fire in her eyes.

I colored slightly. "Er, Lana and I..." I said, totally joking.

She gasped, and I saw her eyes get moist. She was about to run off, but I held on to her. "I'm joking, Lily! I swear! You know I would never do that to you!"

She stopped fighting, but looked up at me, her eyes still wet. I sighed. "All right, last summer at my parents funeral... Well one of my family friends was there, and we got really drunk... And we did some things we both regretted. I haven't talked to her since, and I swear if I could go back in time I would never have done it!"

She looked mollified, again. It was her turn now, though. "What about you, Lils?"

She sighed. "Well, this past summer for me too... I went to France for the summer with my parents and well, had a little fling..."

I was surprised. Lily Evans, a fling? "Okay then. I can accept that. Name and address, please?"

She laughed and swatted at my shoulder. "James! I absolutely forbid you from finding him and murdering him!"

I pouted. "Fine. Can I send Pads?"

Laughing, she pulled me back to the game, where we found out Lana, Sirius, Alice, and Frank had taken shots. We weren't surprised by any of those. Lana and Sirius, well, it's what they're known for. And Alice and Frank, they can hardly keep their hands off each other.

"All right, mates. I think we've had enough of that game!" I said, not wanting any more destructive secrets to be spilled.

"Yeah," Lily agreed, "You, Lana, and Sirius are all at five shots."

Laughing, we all agreed that game was done with.

We were thinking about what to play next when Sirius stood up and shouted (Merlin, this is getting familiar. It must be a habit of his when he's smashed.), "MOONY!!! YOU'RE SUCH A SQUARE!! YOU DIDN'T TAKE A SINGLE SHOT!!"

We all laughed, realizing it was true. What a square.


Woot woot! Longest chapter yet :)

Anywho, I've written the whole story, just waiting for Beta Dearest to get it back to me :)

School starts for me TOMORROW, so I won't be writing much most likely. So you'll have to wait until weekends and holidays for the occassional one-shot I may put up. This story should either be finished today, if we're lucky, or sometime this week :) Three more chapters after this :)

-Nikky-

P.S.- I would like to apologize for last chapter when I put P.S.S., I was recently informed it should be P.P.S.! Did y'all know P.S. stands for post service? I DIDN'T!! Haha, I was so excited :)

P.P.S.- REVIEW AND I'LL SEND YOU SIRIUS BLACK ;)