AN: Before reading this epic fic, be sure to watch this cool MV. It's what the show is setting its success on after all. Go on the ThatMasterLemon YouTube channel and find Gyarados Number 5.

(The year are 20xx
(Everything is busy on the living room, aegislash is truthfully bowsing on pornwebsite)
Excadrill said Aegislash, what are you doing?
Aegislash said I'm looking at hardcore porn
Excadrill said Can I have a look.
Aegislash said NO BY FUNDA!
Tyranitar said Hey Aegislash, you'd better hope that Excadrill doesn't steel your thunder.
Excadrill said Ha ha ha, that was reely funnay!
Aegislash said You know nothing of my grand design
Tyranitar said The only thing grand about you is your playboy collection
Excadrill said I wish we had a life outside of being twerps
Tyranitar said By the way, I'm starvin and want da t time!
Excadrill said You never asked?
Tyranitar said I WANT MY T
Aegislash said 4 ONCE SIRFARTZALOT YOU HAVE A POINT. EXCADRILL, WHERE'S MY F****** SUPPER!
Excadrill said Is it T or supper, you keep changing it.
Tyranitar said Duck that, I want my T
Aegislash said I WANT SHADOW JUICE
Excadrill said Guys, I can explain the lack dack quack of food.
Tyranitar said Explain you fucking little piece of shit who i want ded.
Aegislash said There had better be the reason. Something I don't like to listen to
Excadrill said Will you retarts let me finish?
Tyranitar said POO!
Aegislash said U smell of poo.
Tyranitar said (laugh now)
Excadrill said We haven't got any money to buy food.
TYranitar said I thought business was booming
Excadrill said We had 0 customers today, even less than yesterday
Aegislash said I knew I could run a better company with my eyes closed. It would be dedicated to wrist slitting
Tyranitar said More like wrist shitting
Excadrill said Never mind about how inept we are selling junk, how are we supposed to get some food
Tyranitar said I have some money upstairs
Aegislash said I WANT FOOD!
Excadrill said You do?
Tyranitar said But I'm not giving any to you
Excadrill said You're too busy spending it on sweeties
Tyranitar said (Laugh now)
Aegislash said MONEY IS TRASH, I THROUGH ALL MINE IN DA TOILET
Excadrill said Now what are we going to do?
Aegislash said Don't you have the farttime job at tesco?
Excadrill said I saw Tyranitar's parents at tesco.
Tyranitar said (laugh now)
Aegislash said I DONT CAR! WE NEED MONEE
Tyranitar said AND FOOD!
Excadrill said We must address the shituation carefully. We have no money and no food.
TYranitar said Were tread.
Excadrill said No we're not.
Aegislash said ...huh?
Excadrill said We can just go to the pub and wait for Garchomp's loot to cum.
Tyranitar said Not all over me
Excadrill said You liek cum dont u tyranitar?
Tyranitar said (Laugh now)
Aegislash said Garchomp is garbage we might as well make the leap of faith.
Excadrill said If we use this 10 pound note at the pub carefully, we may just be ok, horay let's play and have a good day.
Aegislash said Fine, let's go.

(They arrive at th =neepub, gyarados is jolly boy to sea them, that isn't a lie)
Tyranitar said Hey Gyarados
Gyarados said Hello Boys
Excadrill said Can we just get on with da plot.
Gyarados said Do you want your beerz or not?
Aegislash said I don't dink beer, only shadow juice. There's somefin 4shadowin about it.
Tyranitar said 4
Gyarados said Hurry up or I'll kick you out.
Excadrill said Gyarados is a shot pubrunner
Tyranitar said We'll have r usual.
Gyarados said Fine! Bill will cum in a minit.
Excadrill said This is brilliant satire
Tyranitar said Hey Gyarados
Gyarados said Stop asking me stupid questions and wait 4 your beerz
Tyranitar said 4
Aegislash said Your a dip dip doo head
Excadrill said Why do you never give us beerz without an arguement?
Aegislash said Because Gayrados is big fucking meanie
Gyarados said You'll regret talking to me like that
Tyranitar said Prison
Gyarados said Pwison
egislash said If you don't let us have dem 4 3, u will try
Gyarados said Try what?
Excadrill said Aegislash, that is not how you ask for 3 beerz.
Aegislash said Feebled fool, I don't drink beer. Your just a goody goody king of a castle.
Tyranitar said And your the dirty rascal.
Excadrill said More like fat rascal
Tyranitar said (laugh now)
Gyarados said I run the pub here, I say what gos.
Tyranitar said 3 drinks for everyone?
Excadrill said When it means everywhere, it means himself.
Aegislash said Tyranitar should go in a dark prison of carrots
Gyarados said Pwison
((Achievement: Jolly yo) You wnet to the pub for the first time)
((Achievement: Prison brek) You learnt of Gyarados' fear of prison)

(Tyranitar meats Garchomp, is it true they're finance probe is over soon)
Tyranitar said HEY GARCHOMPPPPPPPPP
Garchomp said Yohoho Helo Tyranitarrrrrr
Aegislash said What junk do you have for us this time?
Garchomp said Precious Booty!
Aegislash said What junk do you have for us this time?
Garchomp said Precious Booty!
Excadrill said What's in the bag tinky winky?
Garchomp said Precious Booty!
Excadrill said A chip?!
Garchomp said FROM THE CHIPPY!
Conkeldurr said CHIPPY!
Aegislash said MORSOLS AND CHIPS!
Tyranitar said Where did you cum from conk!
Conkeldurr said Call me granny!
Excadrill said shut up conk.
Salamence said Hey guys i have a lot of money.
Excadrill said As if things could get any worse.
Tyranitar said How is going Salamence?
Excadrill said Better than us.
Salamence said What was that.
Tyranitar said NOTHING!
Salamence said I heard a like of tooth going about.
Tyranitar said Sorry we didn't cum 2 da party.
Salamence said We celebrated or i mean morned your loss.
Aegislash said Fool, no one will car for loss. even your mum hates you.
Salamence said THAT'S NOT TRUE!
Tyranitar said Don't worry eggyslash, salamins was morning r loss.
Aegislash said seagull.
Excadrill said I sense a lie on the horizon. A big fat one like Tyranitar.
Tyranitar said (laugh now)
Gyarados said I hope I'm not the one cumin up with da lie.
Aegislash said Gyarados doesn't have any friends, only tinmates in jail.
Gyarados said jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjail
Garchomp said NOT THE DUNGEONS!
Excadrill said Can I have a board meeting with Tyranitar
Aegislash said I'M BORED
Excadrill said What are we going about our money problem
Tyranitar said SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I have to keep my profile
Aegislash said More like poofile
Garchomp said U look worried my heartiez
Gyarados said Yeah. You look a bit down in the dumpz
Salamence said I BET YOU REALISED HOW SMELLY YOU WERE
Excadrill said WE'RE BROAKE! OKAY!
Tyranitar said Shat ap
Salamence said Hahaha, you have no money
Tyranitar said PORKPIEZ
Aegislash said Fool!
Gyarados said I WANT THE WORD WITH THE 4 OF U
Tyranitar said 4
Salamence said Ha you cant even say 4 properly
Tyranitar said 4
Garchomp said yo, ho, ho, its the big beefers life 4 me
Tyranitar said 4
Gyarados said I was going to charge the beerz for £100
Tyranitar said WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Excadrill said your a cheepsk8
Aegislash said The worold of shadows wont be giving u kinder eggs
Gyarados said But I have this lie or I mean...PLAN to get you lot out of the butter
Aegislash said butter is trash, i only have blood on my yummy toast.
Tyranitar said A plan eh, this could save us
Excadrill said When has Gyarados ever helped us?
Garchomp said Yohoho, I want to hear the plan
Aegislash said You not needed for this you concrete worm
Gyarados said Listen, I have an innocent deal for you
Garchomp said I've never had an innocent DEAL be4
Salamence said And you're not part with this one
Tyranitar said Mor liek not fart of this one.
Aegislash said Your fartz smell of shit.
Tyranitar said (laugh now)
Tyranitar said We're having an innocent deal because we're the best
Gyarados said No, your having an innocent deal because you smell
Excadrill said Just tell us, what the deal is.
Garchomp said Butt it's an innocent deal
Aegislash said Your innsistence is less cared about than the terminlology of a deal
Gyarados said I have some oil in the cellar of the pub. Salamence tells me oil goes for quite a bit in the market
Tyranitar said Oil eh? This could make us tons
Excadrill said More like make him tons
Aegislash said FANCY A FIGHT, FOR REAL?
Gyarados said Look, I can't lie or i mean mine the oil as I don't have hands. If you get it out, most of the winnings are yours
Garchomp said buried semen?
Salamence said uhh shut up garchomp.
Tyranitar said Yeah, your just jelly on the plate because you never had an innocent deal.
Gayrados said Very innocent indeed. Another great idea from the kindly crew.
Aegislash said More like crappy crew.
Gyarados said Why are you so serious?
Salamence said Baby boring bum
Tyranitar said Excellent idea about the oil. We'll be here first thing in the morning
Aegislash said If you don't give us a million pounds, you will try.
((Achievement said BIG BEAF!) You saw Tyranitar and Garchomp sing about their love fir beef and frindship)
((Achievement: Strong words) You saw the crew have to give bills to Gyarados)
((Achievement: True rivals) You've seen Tyranitar's rivalary with Salamins to becum best business)
((Achievement: Chipz) You've seen Conk's love for chippy)

(The friends are goin home, excited about the deel which gyarados has premised. butt is it a lie)
Excadrill said Do you thank gyaradose is gonna pay us on the bus without a cuss?
Tyranitar said Of corse he did. He wood never lie to us.
Aegislash said gyaradish is foolish, a battle will cum.
Tyranitar said Calm down. What do you think is the problem?
Aegislash said the power of shadows sense a stinky trick
Excadrill said as stinky as obesitar's socks.
Tyranitar said (laugh now)
Excadrill said I've been thinking
Tyranitar said Your a little bud?
Excadrill said My name's not little bud
Tyranitar said HE'S A LITTLE BUM
Excadrill said MY NAME'S NOT LITTLE BUD
Aegislash said Stop fucking arguing and tell us the secret of hidden tooths
Excadrill said If Gyarados wanted the oil mined, why didn't he get Garchomp to do it?
Aegislash said GARCHOMP COULDN'T EVEN DESTROY DA WORLD PROPERLY
Tyranitar said Nor make me a crappy patty with cheese

(Tyranitar remembers a truthfully fateful day when garchomp wasn't helping him)
Tyranitar said Hey Garchomp
Garchomp said Yarharhar. Wanna watch LazyTown?!
Tyranitar said I'm kinda busy with these sales reports
Garchomp said I CAN'T WATCH TV ON MY OWN (AWWWWWWWWWWW)
Tyranitar said I really need these finished. Could you be a pal and make a crappy patty with cheese?
Garchomp said YOLHOLHOL. MAKE IT YOUR FUCKING SELF
Tyranitar said OK then, I will... Are you busy with anything?
Garchomp said Yar har har, i'm watching tellie.
Tyranitar said Right...are these adverts good.
Garchomp said yo ho ho i really hate adverts.
Tyranitar said You could use the commercial break to make me a krappy patty.
Garchomp said Blow the man down, i'm tired.
Tyranitar said So am I but i still have to file these papers.
Garchomp said Yo ho ho make me a baef sandwich.
Tyranitar said Could you make it yourself, im a bit busy.
Garchomp said Stop being lazy.
Tyranitar said Fine I'll make them myself.

(Tyranitar made both honesty sandwitches for both of them, garchomp got a sticky surprise in his)
Tyranitar said heres your sandwich garchomp.
Garchomp said Yo ho ho its really really scrummy
Tyranitar said Glad i never told him about the slug in the centre.

(I can't tell a lie, In future, garchomp now cuts the crusts when he makes his beef sanwitches)
Excadrill said Yeah, that's true
Tyranitar said don't worry little bud, gyarados will give us the yummy money for my tummy.
Excadrill said What about conk?
Aegislash said conk is only good for goner and strring shadow soup with a pencil
Excadrill said POOP, i forgot about conk. We never got him t.
Tyranitar said quick, let's get back before he dies.

(Conkeldurr raided the kitchin and found a yummy wanka bar, to tell the truth that was all he could have)
Conkeldurr with a wanka bar said MY T (AWWWWWWWWW)
Aegislash said FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. That was Tyranitar's chokky bar i was going
2 burn
Tyranitar said WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Excadrill said We never did get any T at the pub
Tyranitar said What are we going to do now
Conkeldurr said I think you should go without food. People my day would starve and deal with it
Tyranitar said Greediegutz
Conkeldurr said (grumpy face)
Aegislash said I'm going to settle on sum scrummy dirt and rocks
Tyranitar said even 4 brekky?
Aegislash said afirmativity
Excadrill said I think I'll have to join you
Tyranitar said I want chokky
Excadrill said This is the best we've got
Conkeldurr said I get chokky and you don't
Excadrill said Shut up Cock
Conkeldurr said Call me granny
Excadrill said So err, Aegislash. Do we have anything special with dirt and rocks?
Aegislash said I cover my rocks with dirt
Tyranitar said Can we actually eat them then?
Excadrill said Should we cook em?
Aegislash said They'd get too hot
Tyranitar said You mean like my sex every night?
Excadrill said Yeah. A sex doll.
Tyranitar said Laugh now
Aegislash said Dirt and rocks are acceptable when there's nothing else
Excadrill said You said they were scrummy earlier
Aegislash said Anything is scrummy if it isn't cooked by Conk
Conkeldurr said CALL ME GRANNY
Tyranitar said What would you do if you had to eat dirt and rocks?
Conkeldurr said I'd put sum nice brown sauce over them
Excadrill said Maybe later
Tyranitar said Thanks Conk. With this in mind. Maybe the plain dirt n rocks would taste better by comparison

(Excadrill and Aegislash go in the kitchin to learn the scrummy shadow cuisine. the shadows won't lie)
Excadrill said Dirt n rockz r served.
Tyranitar said Im not hungy. (tum rum)
Excadrill said Yes u r tubby.
Tyranitar said (laugh now)
Aegislash said I always i have my dirt n rockz with a nutissue glass of SHADOW JUICE!
Tyranitar said Im not dinkin that.
Conkeldurr said IVE HAD MY T!
Aegislash said SHUT UP U FEEBLED SPACEMAN AND GO IN THE OVEN!
Excadrill said We haz a six pack of scallywag in da frij.
Tyranitar said I haz a six pak.
Excadrill said Yah of chocolate barz.
Tyranitar said (laugh now)
Conkeldurr said I drank all ur scallywag.
Tyranitar said WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?
Conkeldurr said I WANTED BEER!
Excadrill said Carrotz! We now have to have either shadow juice or water.
Tyranitar said I hate water, too fucking healthy!
Aegislash said And your not hazing a drop of my shadow juice, drink your own.
Excadrill said We didn't want it anyway. Its water or nuffin.
Tyranitar said Fine, let's tuck in.
Aegislash said FUCK IN MOAR LIEK!

(They immediately go to true sleep after eating this, but tomorrow they are very sick)
Tyranitar said My tummy hurtz
Excadrill said So does mine, who thought dirt and rocks was a good idea
Conkeldurr said I don't see why I have to help when I could be practising a racist act
Tyranitar said You have to help because you don't have tummy ache
Aegislash said I don't have bellyache
Excadrill said Whoopie cushion for you
Tyranitar said where did Conk cum from.
Conkeldurr said Call me granny.
Aegislash said Answer fool, or you will have thingy done to you.
Conkeldurr said Gyarados gave me da kee
Tyranitar said I'm surprised that you were able to use one.
Conkeldurr said I may be dumb but i'm not smart.
Aegislash said Hmph you smell.
Tyranitar said 1 + 1 = chicken! (LAUGH TRACK)
Aegislash said I don't want to mine oil
Tyranitar said (wobbly falsetto) no money for you.
Excadrill said more like no money for poo
Aegislash said DONT CALL ME POO YOU COCKWORK MOUSE
Conkeldurr said I don't want to mine oil either
Excadrill said If you help, we'll give you some of the yummy money
Tyranitar said I didn't agree to that
Aegislash said I'm going to have a cry
Tyranitar said Don't cry now, we're going to becum million man!
Excadrill said Cum on guys, let's get 2 it, all for one?
Conkeldurr said And all for chippie!1!
Tyranitar said Fine, let's go

(there is no lying On a cliff again)
Cobalion said Knock Knock
Virizion said Who's there?
Cobalion said Doctor
Terrakion said Doctor Who?
Cobalion said You just said it!
((Achievement: All for won) You meat the muskertears)

(The crew are ready too honestly help gyarados at the pub)
Excadrill said Hello, Gyarados?
Tyranitar said Are you here?
Gyarados said Hello boys, come to mine some oil?
Aegislash said Do we get some of the money?
Gyarados said Would I lie to you?
Excadrill said Yeah
Tyranitar said Lotsatimez
Gyarados said Look, I'm not lying this time
Aegislash said You'd better not be, or there'll be fucking trouble
Excadrill said So where do you want us to fucking start?
Tyranitar said Will it be free dinks for everyone if we mine the oil poperly
Gyarados said We'll see. Trying starting up there. That's where I remember striking it.
Aegislash said Hmph, fine. Shadows shall guide da way.
Gyarados said Why is Conk here?
Conkeldurr said Call me granny!
Tyranitar said Conk is doing all the wor..I mean cheering us on.
Gyarados said THE KINDLY CREW must stand together.
Aegislash said More like crappy crew
Tyranitar said Ugh, I hate spinach
Conkeldurr said I hate brocoli
Aegislash said I hate tomatoes
Gyarados said I hate carrots
Excadrill said Well i don't liek cheez chef.
Gyarados said Oh you make me blush
Tyranitar said Pity so you can't cook.
Aegislash said This plant is da pits
Gyarados said Do you want the richys or not?
Aegislash said How much power money are we going to get paid.
Gyarados said Dunno yet.
Excadrill said Let's get on with it.
Conkeldurr said Can I get paid too?
Tyranitar said Uh, its just a flesh womb.
Salamence said Hey guys, I made another million and got da shiny new car.
Gyarados said Good for you.
Tyranitar said we're having r big brekky today.
Salamence said Uh huh, gyarados is very generous. i never expected him to be THAT kind ecespicially to PEASANTS!
Excadrill said It probably doesn't matter anyway.
Conkeldurr said I want money.
Tyranitar said You can't have any 4 beering us on.
Aegislash said I'm tired.
Excadrill said we haven't even started yet.
Salamence said I see its another fine day in batman city.
Tyranitar said Indeed

(a false joke happens At batmancity)
Crobat said Why did the chicken cross the road.
Talonflame said I don't know.
Crobat said To get to the batman car.
Talonflame said Holy funny joke batman.
((Achievement: The Dork Night) You learnt about batmen city)

(Back at the true pub)
Salamence said I see you've cum to help with the oil
Gyarados said Oh yes. Decided to stop by for some beer ma deer. (ROMANCE)
Aegislash said I've never been called my deer (AWWWWWWW)
Tyranitar said Thats because your a miserable meanie
Excadrill said Nobody likes you either Tyranitar
Tyranitar said (Laugh now)
Tyranitar said Have you cum to help us with da oil
Excadrill said More like to flaunt his money at us
Tyranitar said Congratulations with the car. Our van's nice and shiny
Salamence said I bet it's smelly
Gyarados said It is
Tyranitar said Hahaha
Aegislash said CURSES. I WANT MY MONEY NOW!
Gyarados said You have to mine the oil first
Excadrill said Fine; let's go

(They go to the cellar, what is the truth)
Aegislash said So this is where Gyaradish wants us to mine the oil eh? There's something, suspicious about it
Tyranitar said Shadap, I want my yummy money
Excadrill said Everything's yummy for your fat tummy
Tyranitar said (laugh now)
Gyarados said Here's Johnny (tURNS OFF THE LIGHTS)
Tyranitar said Hey! Who turned out the lights? (GEDDIT, I LIKE DOCTOR WHO)
Conkeldurr said IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IT'S TOO DARK.
Excadrill said A glass of poison for Conkeldurr.
Aegislash said Hahaha, it's nice and darkness now. NOW YOU'RE ALL SCARED
Tyranitar said Never mind, I had some matches in my bum
Aegislash said S***
Tyranitar Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah (Sounding more like a duck)
Excadrill said Now we can finally get on with da diggin.
Conkeldurr said You sure want to get on with dat diggin.
Tyranitar said Nats coz hez a lil bud
Excadrill said My name's not little bud.
Aegislash said I'm not doin anyfin
Tyranitar said That's my job.
Conkeldurr said NO! its mine! You said so.
Aegislash said I say you sniff Tyranitar's bum
Tyranitar said We said that to keep prisonboy quiet.
Gyarados said PWISON
Tyranitar said Did you hear somfin?
Excadrill said Only your laziness
Conkeldurr said Stop wingin, peopol in my daze were seen and not herrd
Tyranitar said Conk, help him out.
Conkeldurr said CALL ME GRANNY!
Excadrill said Granny, help me out.
Conkeldurr said No!
Aegislash said I'm going to skulk
Excadrill said (Sighs) Fine
Tyranitar said Excellent, let's see some of that porn Aegislash
Aegislash said I'm not going to show feebled spaceMan like you

(Several moments later, was it a lie)
Tyranitar said Found anything yet?
Aegislash said Any shadow juice?
Conkeldurr said I want beer
Excadrill said Nothing at that side
Tyranitar said POO
Aegislash said You smell of poo
Excadrill said We can't give up now, our money is somewhere in Gyarados' cellar
Aegislash said I can teleport to where the oil is

(Teleports, could it be true)
Tyranitar said where r wii?
Excadrill said We seem to be in a new area of the cellar.
Conkeldurr said guess sonny amounted 2 sumfin after all.
Tyranitar said don't tell gyarados, he'll call it cheetin.
Conkeldurr said I WANT BEER!
Excadrill said just go home.
Conkeldurr said Fine!
Tyranitar said We need the cusin joey here to help us with the mine
Excadrill said Sigh, he isn't doin anything.
Tyranitar said That's true. Guess that makes us the three of uz
Excadrill said Where's Aegislash?

(Aegislash is at a stripper club trying to hook up with a hot female golem; will he lie)
Aegislash said hey baby, maybe we should...hang out?

(It will only be the 3 of them to find out the truth or the lie)
Excadrill said You don't think Aegislash went off to a stripper club?
Tyranitar said Nah, Aegislash loves us
Excadrill said All Aegislash talks about is the power of the shadows
Conkeldurr said I never liked Shadow Juice
Tyranitar said At least he teleported us to where it is.
Excadrill said So much to mine, let's get diggin b4 minecraft 2 gets shot here.
Tyranitar said found anything
Excadrill said only your fat tummy wummy.
Tyranitar said (laugh now)
Tyranitar said no really have you found anything
Excadrill said i think i've found something wet.
Tyranitar said is it your wee wee?
Excadrill said it feels oily.
Tyranitar said SWEAT we're rich!
Excadrill said Wait a sec..snif sif.. THIS IS OLIVE OYAL!
Tyranitar said (O face)
TyranitarL If I ever see gyarados again, i will kick him, in the face! (LAUGH TRACK!)
(Theres a deeper politcial meaning behind this clever twist)
((Achievement: Political knowledge) You discovere the truth abot the oil0)

(Back at the pub inn, salamence, gyarados and garchomp are enjpying bed)
Salamence said So why did you say that they would get half the winnings?
Gyarados said Well there was no oil to begin with!
Garchomp said Yar har har, you've been tellin tails!
Salamence said You mean
Gyarados said That's right, the oil was a lie!
Garchomp said YOU MEAN LIKE THE CAKE?
Gyarados said YES! And once they find out...they'll be very upset!
Salamence said YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
Garchomp said Long live the kindly crew!)

((Achievement: Fame in the making) You've red a chapter of nis fantascic sitcom. Reed moar or els)