A/N: At first I was going to wait a few days and let the reviews rise a bit, but I can't sleep and I'm bored so why not? Umm a few things first, I love that people like the story, at first I was scared people would hate it because it's so different. Second, thanks for all the I'm Sorry's. I'll probably have a lot of my own experiences in this story but I'll tell you ahead of time. Third, don't worry I won't kill Derek. I would never be able to. I love him too much. ;) And lastly, thank you for even reading this story. It means a lot to me. :D Enjoy and I really do love reviews, even if it's saying "this one wasn't so good" or whatever, even tips on things you want to see happen. It all helps. Haha.

"Derek, what are you doing?" A masculine voice said to him as he woke up. Only he wasn't in the clinic, or the hospital, he didn't know where he was.

"Pop? Is that you?" Derek asked, bewildered. "Does this mean it worked? Am I… you know.."

"Dead? No son, you're not dead. You are almost dead though, I need you to fight. I know what happened to you at that party, what you felt but you can't leave this world. Not yet." Derek's father said, pulling him into a hug.

"But dad, I can't do it anymore. Even after 6 years the smallest things send the flashbacks forward. That party, it reminded me of the day you died. How we were just running up to the store to get ma's gift. You died on your 20th wedding anniversary, the party at therapy reminded me of the party we just left. Especially when Teresa pretty much repeated what Aunt Jillian said, 'Come on everyone, this is a monumental celebration for the entire family.' I couldn't do it. So I wrote Meredith a note, begging that she forgive me, and I did it."

"I know Derek. I watched it happen from here. The girl, Meredith… she's in the bed next to you. Crying her eyes out every time a nurse comes in and says there are no changes."

"WHAT? Dad, how did she get here? She didn't… you know.." Derek couldn't finish the sentence; his body was flooded with guilt. He remembered the promise he made to Meredith and how he was breaking it. "Did she try to join me?" He whispered into his father's chest.

"No. She was trying to find help, but since she was overcoming an eating disorder her body is weak. After she found you, the stress that was added to her was too much. She collapsed in the hallway. A child found her; got Jessie, then Jessie found the note and found you. After that you were transported to the hospital."

"Dad, if I'm not dead, why am I here?"

"You are in a coma son. You lost a lot of blood, they did transfusions and everything, you just have to fight. That's the only way you will make it."

"What if I don't want to make it? What if I want to stay with you?" Derek asked, knowing it couldn't happen. It would not only destroy his entire family, but Meredith. How would Meredith go on without him? Sure she was incredibly strong, but right now, she needed someone. She told him that she needed him so badly it hurt her. He knew he couldn't leave.

"Derek, you know this can't happen. You have to." Michael Shepherd replied to his son, knowing full well that Derek knew he couldn't die. Not yet anyways. "Son, I know it kills you having me gone. You don't have a male figure in your life and we were very close. I know how this pains you, I see it and I feel it. But, you can't do this to yourself or our family anymore. And you especially cannot do this to that girl."

"I know dad, but it hurts so bad. I can't always bear it. What am I supposed to do?" Derek was in tears now, and even though he was in a coma at the hospital, a lone tear fell down his cheek. Unnoticed by all.

"You fight it. You are a strong young man Derek. You will go very far in this life, as long as a)you fight, and b) you marry that girl."

"Marry Meredith?" Derek was in complete shock at this statement, but he couldn't deny his feelings for her. Marriage was a huge step that he didn't know if he'd ever take.

"Not now, maybe not anytime soon, but you need that girl. You love her, I can tell. You see things in black and white. She doesn't, you need that in your life. When you are ready for it, I want you to ask your mother for her ring. But only if it is for Meredith Grey." Michael was welling up at the thought of his beautiful wife Carolyn. He missed her so much. "And you tell your mother how much I love her. Can you do that?"

"Yes dad, I can do that. Does all this mean I have to leave you now?"

"I believe it does. Now fight Derek, fight like hell. See those doors?" Derek nodded that he saw them and Michael said, "Good. Run through them, it will bring you out of the coma and you'll be alive. Trust me on this. I love you son." Tears streaming down Michael's cheeks, he hugged his son as tight as possible before releasing him and telling him to run.

R O A D T O R E C O V E R Y

Meredith bowed her head down again, sobbing uncontrollably now. Derek slipped into a coma earlier from the blood loss and she thought he would die. He promised her he wouldn't die and here he was almost dead. Every time the nurse came in to check his vitals, she would slowly shake her head and Meredith would breakdown. Physically, Meredith was getting better. Her body was very weak and the stress made it worse so she had to stay for a week until she got healthy. Emotionally, she was a human traffic accident. The boy she thought she loved was dying and he would never know how she felt. They would never have the after-therapy-relationship. Not if he died. She leaned over and grabbed the letter one more time reading it with tears rolling freely down her face…

Meredith,

If you are reading this, I am probably dead. I am so sorry I broke all my promises to you, I just couldn't do it. That party, reminded me of the day my father died. It was my parents' anniversary and we ran up there to get my mother's gift. It was like in my head, I was reliving that night and I decided it wasn't worth it anymore. All the pain. I'm sorry I am leaving you, you were the only thing that made me feel better. I will miss you terribly. I love… sorry about that mark out.

Derek.

He started to write "I love" something. But what was it? She had to know, if only he would wake up. Right as this thought left her mind, she heard him choking. His head turning left and right, she started shaking like crazy and yelling "NURSE! NURSE! COME IN HERE!" From reading all of the medical textbooks as a child, she knew he was fighting intubation and was coming out of his coma. Meredith never thought this moment would happen and all she could do was lay back and close her eyes. She could not watch the events that were unfolding, even though she knew they were good, this was the bad before the good part. As soon as the nurse finished, she walked over to Meredith and tapped her on the shoulder saying,

"Meredith? Mr. Shepherd is asking for you to lift up so he can have a word." A small smile came about the woman's face as she saw Meredith's features light up. Derek was alive, awake, and wanting to talk to her. She sat up and leaned over to see him.

"Hey." He said in a raspy voice.

"Don't you ever do that again. Don't you ever leave me Derek Christopher Shepherd. You are not allowed to scare me like that. You know how badly I need you, how much I've come to realize that I.." She trailed off not wanting to tell him her newfound feelings for him which developed almost rapidly as she had to try and picture her life without him. He looked confused and slightly understanding.

"I know. I am so sorry." He replied, looking away from her. He couldn't face her after what he did, the guilt washed over him, which caused her to get out of her bed, not caring what the rules said and closed the space between them.

"You do not get to feel guilty about this. I understand, okay I don't, but you can tell me and then I will. We'll be okay. Okay?" She flashed a sympathetic and understanding smile his way.

"Okay. Can I have a hug, if you're not too weak."

"I'm fine compared to you. Worry about you, I'll let the doctors worry about me, deal?" She said as she attempted to wrap her arms around him.

"Deal. Again, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. Crap, your mom and Teresa are coming. I have to get to bed."

"Okay." He said, watching Meredith attempt to walk the 5 feet to her bed, almost collapsing from weakness. Luckily Teresa rushed in and caught her before she fell.

"Meredith, what are you doing? Trying to fall again?"

"No T, I went to the bathroom. I'm sorry." Meredith said, climbing into bed slowly.

"Okay, well be more careful. You know the doctors are supposed to help you." She said, totally not buying Meredith's story, especially since Derek was awake. "Mrs. Shepherd, I'll give you a minute with your son."

"Thank you." The woman sweetly replied before collapsing into a chair and grabbing her son's hand and saying, "Derek. Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it. But I saw dad, and he told me I needed to fight and stay alive for you all and for…" He couldn't tell his mom about Meredith, though she knew. He didn't know she knew but apparently everyone except Meredith and Derek could see they liked each other… A lot. "He said to remind you he loves you and he misses you." He said stroking her hand.

"Oh Derek." The old-ish woman said before breaking down into sobs. "I don't know what I would have done if you died." She admitted honestly.

"I know ma. I'm so sorry. It will NEVER happen again. I promise I will fight forever. Especially since I have more than my family to fight for." He said, throwing a loving look towards Meredith who was fast asleep. He really knew now that he loved her. He couldn't deny it, but he couldn't tell her. Not yet, not after all this. But he would find a way to tell her. Soonish. Until then, he had to fight for everything, prove he meant what he said, to everyone. And he would, no matter what it took. His family was everything to him, and now, so was Meredith. He could no longer see his life without her, which scared him because he vowed never to feel this way. Never to risk having someone feel his pain if he were to die like his father, but he couldn't help it. Not with Meredith, she was too special to pass up. And he was on the road to recovery, with her by his side. Fighting her own demons.

A/N: So, what do we think? I tried to make the Shepherd men's talk as long as possible, but I felt it was right to end there. Also, they love each other, but they are both WAY too fragile to admit it and start something. So it will be a while before a relationship forms. Reviews make my days better.