[A/N]: Hope that wasn't too long of a wait for...you...whoever you are. Seriously? Where did everyone go? *feels lonely* I usually hear back from a couple people, but lately its only been lovecomlove. Not that I don't love you to death for it lovecomlove. ;D
Well, to those who will read this when you get back from...wherever you are: enjoy!
Risa walked down the sidewalk away from Mimi's agency, her nerves still settling in her stomach. She didn't have the experience to know if the interview went well or not. She wasn't sure how she had qualified...
She looked up and realized Sakura was standing at a bench, a determined look on her face.
"S-Sakura...?" Risa whispered, embarrassed to see her after she had just lied.
"Koizumi-san, care to have lunch with me?"
Risa opened her mouth and then shut it, looking away. She nodded.
The silence was becoming unbearable.
Finally, Risa put her hands together and bowed her head swiftly.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I lied about Otani! I'm a horrible person! I should be hit by lightening!"
"That's too much!" Sakura cried, holding her hands out to calm Risa down.
"I'm the worst kind of person!"
"Oh stop it already!"
Koizumi's face snapped up over her folded hands and was met with Sakura's angry expression. She sighed and sat back.
"You didn't have to lie to me. You could have just told me to come over after your interview. Why am I such a threat to your relationship? I haven't even made a move on him. He's my superior!"
'S-Superior...' Koizumi thought in her mind, picturing Otani posing heroically, his face having an annoying smug expression.
"You don't have anything to worry about," Sakura said, kindly. "We work together. That's it."
Risa saw the truth in Sakura's eyes.
"Sakura...do you like Otani?"
She looked away.
"Whether I do or don't is not relevant. I won't try to break you and Otani up. You had him first and I don't fight dirty, but if you keep acting like this, you might just break each other up on your own."
Risa's mouth dropped, feeling as if she was just slapped in the face. I knew it. She did like him.
"Ah...hm...you're right. I've got to stop feeling sorry for myself and just be the old me..."
"Exactly," she said, encouragingly. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad, actually it's the opposite. I want you to be confident! Guy's don't like weak girls."
Risa nodded.
"Thank you, Sakura. I'm sorry I lied to you. I know it's unreasonable...but do you think you could plan with Otani when I'm home, too? I guess I really am the jealous type..."
There was silence and Risa looked up, seeing an unfamiliar expression on Sakura's face.
She stood up.
"Fine, but I'm disappointed that Otani's girlfriend turned out to be like this."
"Wha-?" Risa's began, watching Sakura walk out the door.
"Risa...what is going on? What happened to your fighting spirit?!"
"Nobu-chan...I really messed things up this time! I'm acting so jealous and Sakura likes him and I haven't found a job and Otani thinks I'm a burden and I don't know what to do anymore!"
"Breath, Risa, breath!"
She inhaled deeply and then let it out pitifully.
"Risa, I'll tell you this because you need to hear it, not because I want to hurt you, okay?"
She prepared herself for the worst.
"Stop being someone you're not. You've fought for Otani how many times? You fought getting together with him, fought with Mimi for him, for Miki**...What's so different about this Sakura?"
Risa pondered that question.
"It's not her I don't think...it's just, when I fought for him in the past, I had something to offer. Now it seems like I'm just taking away from him."
"Are you trying your best?"
"Am I...what?"
"You heard me!" Nobu-chan cried. "Are you trying your hardest to keep Otani yours?"
"Y-Yes, of cour-"
"Are you?"
Tears fell down her cheeks.
"No. Nobu-chan, I can't fight! I have no confidence to fight!"
There was silence as Risa wiped away her tears.
"This does not sound like the Risa I know."
"Nobu-chan, not you too-"
"Call me back when you turn into my old best friend."
"Nobu-!"
The line went dead.
"Sorry I ate before you. There is food in the refrigerator if you're hungry. You can wake me up if you want to."
Risa dropped the note and tried to think where she could start to become confident again. To feel worthy to stand by Otani's side again.
The job. That should come first.
She felt a flicker of determination as she pulled her laptop toward her and typed away. She searched for an hour and a half until she had sent four emails including her resume to different agencies in Osako. She felt a bit satisfied and she pulled up her email before heading off to bed.
There was one from Mimi and Risa clicked on it eagerly.
To: BAKA!!!
What did you do?! My manager said you were so stiff and nervous! Why be like that for an interview?! I knew it was impossible for you to be cute and charming, but why has it come to this?!! He says to only come back when you are more human!!
From: Mimi
"Koizumi? Wake up, it's almost ten o'clock."
Risa lifted her head and saw Otani's face an inch from her own.
"You have drool on your chin," he stated tonelessly. "How uncute."
Risa wiped it off, flushing.
"Will you be staying here today? Sakura is here and-"
"She's here?" she asked, her spirits dropping even lower.
Otani's eyebrows furrowed.
"You're still in a bad mood then, I take it."
Risa crossed her arms.
"What's that suppose to mean?"
Otani sighed.
"I'll be in the other room. You can come in, but try not to bother us. We're really busy."
"Why would I bother you?" Risa snapped. "Am I really that big of a hassle for you?"
"Wha-?" Otani began, but Risa stood and began to walk to the bathroom, angry.
"Forget it."
Suddenly, a hand clasped around her wrist. She turned to see Otani's concerned face.
"What's the matter?"
Koizumi hid her face behind her hair.
"Nothing..."
"Why are you lying to me?" Otani was mad. "You've been acting so strange lately. It's been bothering me that you're upset, but you won't tell me."
Tears sprouted in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall, or let Otani see.
"Just go back to work."
"No," he said firmly and spun her around to face him. "Tell me. I'm not leaving here until you do."
Her eyes widened and she hesitated.
"I'm just...stressed."
Otani released her.
"This isn't about Sakura, is it?"
"Why do you mention her?" Risa asked angry he immediately thought of her.
"Because it's the only thing I can think of!"
"Well think harder!"
"Just tell me!"
"No!"
Otani's anger and shock filled his face and Risa regretted it immediately.
"Why not?"
"Just..." she felt like crying. "Just go back to work. We can talk tonight."
He hesitated for a moment and then left, shutting the door with gusto.
Risa showered and quietly left, feeling Sakura's eyes on her back.
Why Risa kept messing things up with her relationship with Otani was caused by many things. Stress, the job search, Otani's job, Sakura, and most of all, Risa's lack of confidence in herself.
"I'm falling apart," she whispered to herself and sat at the bottom of the metal stairs. She curled her knees up to her chest. This was all her fault.
"I don't feel like I can stand by Otani's side like this...I'm pulling him down now when he just started his new job. He doesn't need this...me right now."
Suddenly, raindrops began falling and she looked up at the sky. Dark gray clouds began swarming overhead and she stood, ascending the stairs back to her apartment. She'd wait until she had the chance to talk to Otani to sort things out. She couldn't go like this forever.
She got to the door and was about to open it when she heard Otani's voice.
"-getting a job. It's hard."
"She's very determined, though."
Risa leaned in, knowing full and well they were talking about her.
"I just hope that she gets one soon. It's putting a lot of stress on her."
There was a pause.
"You like her very much, don't you?"
"S-Saying such things..."
"What do you like about her?"
"How am I suppose to answer that?"
"It's very easy. Just give a list why you are in a relationship with her."
"Too...Too embarrassing..."
"Is she a good kisser?"
"What?! Why on Earth would you-?!"
"Is she very smart?"
"What nonsense are you-?!"
"Do you love her?"
"What the hell is this?! Some kind of test?!"
There was another moment of silence and Risa's heart thumped loudly. Why couldn't he just answer those questions honestly?
"I bumped into her earlier. She seemed very down. She called herself a bad girlfriend and lied about you being sick. I don't think she's very confident in herself right now. You should tell her something good about herself to boost her spirits."
"...Is that so?"
"She thinks she's a burden to you."
"Two out of three times, she is."
"Now, that's too harsh! She is your girlfriend afterall!"
"S-Sakura...I didn't-"
Risa turned around, hurrying down the metal steps, when she suddenly slipped on the slick stairs. There was a loud crash and she tried to lean against the railing to help her up, but her ankle twinged.
"K-Koizumi-san?"
Risa looked up to see Sakura at the top of the stairs, looking at her in concern. She rushed over to her and helped her up.
"Are you okay? Come on, let's get inside."
Risa felt lifeless as Sakura helped her up the stairs.
Otani's figure appeared at the landing, his face expressionless. He looked down at Risa's tears and he closed his eyes.
"I've got it from here, Sakura."
His arm wrapped around his girlfriend's waist and got her inside.
"We can be done for the day, right?"
"Oh...yes. I'll see you tomorrow, then? First thing in the morning?"
"See ya."
She shut the door and he turned to her. Koizumi looked up, her hair messy, her eyes red with tears.
"So worrisome," he said lightly and Risa buried her face in her arms. The tears came quickly and her shoulders shook.
There was a sudden warm sensation on her ankle and she peeked over her arm. Her eyes became very wide as she saw Otani dab her ankle with a warm washcloth.
"Does it hurt?" he asked.
"Sort of," she replied quietly.
"Let me get something to wrap it in," he said, standing and walking to the kitchen cabinet. Risa rubbed her slightly swollen ankle as he came back and began wrapping it in a white cloth.
"This should do for now."
"T-Thank you..."
There was a silence and Otani sighed sitting down.
"Koizumi, you know that Sakura and I are just friends right?"
She was silent for a moment.
"Yes...I know."
"And you know that I don't care that you have a job or not? I'll keep supporting you until you do find one. I know you're trying your hardest."
Tears came unintentionally.
"Otani," Risa spoke in a low voice. She bit her lip to keep it from wobbling. "I think...I think..."
"What is it?" he asked, sitting forward.
She was quiet again, trying to put on a strong face.
"I...I think..."
"Spit it out will you?" he said, standing and putting his hands on his hips. She looked up at him and he realized she was crying. His eyes grew wide, his mouth falling open. "K-Koizumi..."
"I think you should break up with me."
There was silence.
Then anger.
"What do you mean by that?" he asked, furious.
"I mean, I think you should break up with me," she said it again, her gaze falling back to the floor.
He glared at her, both angry and confused.
"Why are you leaving that decision up to me? If you want to break up, just say it."
She bit her to keep from whimpering. She closed her eyes and lowered her head further.
"L-Let's break up!" she cried and his eyes widened, his eyebrows knotting in...confusion? Or sadness?
"Why?" he asked sounding mildly curious. It was confusion.
"I'm...I'm no good," she said in a shaky voice, her facade falling away. She saw him shove his hands into his pockets and turn around. She looked up.
"Fine," was all he said and turned to their bedroom, slamming the door.
Risa felt pain gripping her heart tightly. Her world started to fall around her and she put her face in her hands as she started crying.
Loud, miserable, broken sobs. She fell to the floor on her knees.
It had been so easy. He had taken it so well.
Good.
It would've been so much harder to do if he had fought for her. But then again...
Why would he?
[A/N]: I know most of you are getting quite fed up with Risa at this point. Good. That's how I intended it. (BWAHAHA.)
Please continue to read, though. It will get better from this moment onward!
Thank you for reading!
**Note**: Miki is a character from my story Bases. You can read if you're interested, but it's not necessary to understand this part.
