Hey everyone, Kirigaya Uchiha is back. Now, I know that I said I won't be posting tomorrow, but I love this crossover so much. So, I decided to write the next chapter tonight. I hope you guys enjoy and comment.

Disclaimer: I do not own Zero no Tsukaima/Familiar of Zero or Kore wa Zombie desu ka?/Is this a Zombie?. However, I own the Sharingan. I know, irrelevant.


Chapter 4: The Talking Sword

After a talk with Siesta, Ayumu returned to Louise's room. He approached it, but before he could get near the room, Kirche's Salamander sped towards him.

"What the hell? You're that girl's familiar." He said. It bit his pants leg and nudged several times. "You want me to follow you?" he received a strange noise from the lizard, so he can only assume it was a yes.

He followed it until it entered a room. He walked in and saw her.

"Hey, you're Kirche." He said.

"Welcome to my room, Ayumu Aikawa." She told him.

"Just call Ayumu." He told her.

"Alright, Ayumu." She put one hand behind her head and one on her hip. "I know I'm doing something I shouldn't, but my codename, you see, it's Fever. I tend to burn like a flaming torch."

"Oh really?" Ayumu said, noting her seductive attire.

"You don't understand. I'm a woman in love and the one I love is you."

"Is that so?" Ayumu said with his normal dead gaze.

"Love always comes so suddenly. You were so handsome out there when you defeated Guiche."

Please don't mention my ass. Please don't mention my ass. Please don't mention my ass.

"And when I watched you out there, Kirche the Fever became Kirche the Passion." She said, taking Ayumu's hand and leaning in for a kiss.

Ayumu responded with, "Good for you." And a slight move of his head, backing it away from her's slowly.

"Kirche!" someone shouted. A guy floated outside the window. After a few words that Ayumu ignored, she sent a flaming serpent at the student for some reason.

"Nevermind him. Right now, the one I love most is-" she was cut off.

"Kirche!" another student floated, only to be shot with another serpant.

"The night is still short, and I don't wanna waste even a single moment we have." She told him.

"Kirche!" 3 more students were at the window. The lizard breathed fire at them, sending them falling.

Dang. Is this girl some kind of whore?

She pushed him over and now looked down onto his face. "I love you, Ayumu."

His face remained unchanged, looking at her blankly. "Look, I've got to go, otherwise, Louise is going to be on my ass."

"Just let that go. I'm better than Louise the Zero will ever be." She leaned down and kissed. A moment later, the door opened and Louise stood.

"Took you long enough." Ayumu said with no expression.

"Kirche!" Louise shouted.

"I'm busy right now, Vallière."

"Alright, Zerbst. Why are trying to seduce my familiar?"

"I'm afraid it can't be helped. Love and fire are the destinies of the Von Zerbst family. I only wish to burn in flames of love."

"Come here." She said.

As Ayumu was about to get up, not really caring about the situation, Kirche spoke up.

"Now wait! He may be you're familiar but he's also a human being with proper feelings and needs and desires. It's unreasonable to get in the way of romance. Isn't that right." She sat up, burying one side of Ayumu face in her breast.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever." What the hell is up with this chick? It's like I'm in a damn anime. Orito would love to be in my place right now.

"Fine…but you realize that when tomorrow comes, you'll be skewered alive by at least 10 angry nobles."

Well, it's not like that'll kill me, anyway.

"I'll say it again, come here." Louise said demandingly.

"Sure. Whatever you say." Ayumu said as he stood up.

"Aww, you're going home already?" Kirche said, whining right after.

"Yeah. Cute trick, by the way."

They returned to Louise's room and she locked the door. Turning around, she yelled, "You're just like some manging dog in heat!"

"For what?" Ayumu said in a stern tone. "I followed a lizard. That's it."

She walked past him and to a drawer, pulling something out.

"Is that a whip?"

"Yeah. For horseback riding. It was wrong of me to treat you like a human. Wagging your tail to that horrible Zerbst woman of all people. You dog!" she said, snapping the whip. Ayumu simply stood his ground.

"I was treated like a human? When did that happen?" Ayumu asked. "And I didn't wag my tail to anybody."

"If you're going to act like a stray dog, then I suppose that I'm going to have to treat you like one."

"Wait, you whip dogs? The hell is wrong with you!?" Ayumu shouted.

She started whipping him, three lashes before Ayumu grabbed her arm.

"Could it be that you're just jealous-" he was cut off by a knee to the groin. "Again. The hell is wrong with you!?" he said weakly, feeling pain in the lower region for the first time since he's become a zombie."

"I don't care if you date but I forbid you from being with Kirche." She said. Ayumu stopped listening after that, although he was sure it was something about their families.

"It would be a disgrace for a dog to be taken away by a Zerbst. You got that!"

"Yeah yeah. Geez."

After talking to Louise about what happened, Ayumu heard something about Hollow's Day, before he was told that they were waking up early tomorrow. Ayumu gathered the straw for his bed.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Out into the hall, O great master of mine." Ayumu said mockingly.

"It's alright, sleep in here. I don't want you to be able to see Kirche again."

Complying, Ayumu set down the hay and lied down.


Ayumu held onto Louise as they rode on her horse. They got to town and Louise immediately started walking.

"Hey, slow down. I had to ride that damn horse for three hours." Ayumu said to Louise as he followed her.

"I think it was right next to Viemont's Elixir Shop." She said. "Oh, here it is."

"Swords?" Ayumu asked as they walked in.

"So we came here so you could buy me a sword?"

"It's dangerous that Kirche is after you. I need to make sure you can defend yourself."

"Yeah, but, I only knew Yami for a short time. I wish I could see him again."

"Sorry to keep you waiting." The shop keeper said as he brought out and gave Ayumu a large golden sword.

"Wow, this is really something."

"How much is it?" Louise asked.

"3,000 new gold."

What!? But you could buy a house with a garden and a forest for that. I only have a thousand. Is there anything I can buy for a hundred?"

"Just a hundred?" he said, walking over to a barrel. He pulled out a rusted-looking sword and brought it to Ayumu.

"This is ok." Ayumu said.

"Yeah, it's fine. I'll take it."

As Ayumu and Louise walked, he said, "Man, that guy must have selling this for a long time. Thank you, though."

After they went back to the academy, Ayumu now sat in Louise's room with Kirche, Tabitha, and Louise. In his hands, he held the golden sword from earlier, which Kirche got cheap by using her breasts as ammunition against the shop keeper.

"This is great and all, but I didn't need it."

"Do you like it, Ayumu?" Kirche asked.

"What is the meaning of this Zerbst?"

"I just happened to find a sword befitting of Ayumu so I decided to give it to him as a present."

"So you were following us?"

After some arguing between the two girls, they raised their wands, which were taken away by Tabitha's wind magic.

"Why don't we just let Ayumu decide."

The two girls looked at him. Picking up the other sword he said, "Well, it doesn't matter. These are both pretty good swords. But I actually have a way better sword at home, but is this really about swords." Earning him two kicks to the face.

"I hate you. And more so, I hate everything about you." Kirche said.

"Then we have something in common because I déteste you." Louise said to Kirche.

"A duel." Kirche said simply.

"Hey, duels are forbidden." Ayumu said.

"Hey, shut up! Stupid women." Someone said.

The two of them looked at Ayumu with death stares.

"Stupid?"

"What did you say?"

"That wasn't me!"

Tabitha finally spoke up. "The sword."

Ayumu looked at the hilt. "Was taking a nice nap and you woke me up." It said.

"Now way. A talking sword. You just raised to Yami's league." Ayumu said to it, smiling.

"You got a weird face for a user. Yeah, no wonder I had to wake up."

"A user?" Ayumu asked.

"Isn't that an intelligent sword? One that contains its own wisdom?" Kirche said. "You sure know how to pick strange things to buy." She said to Louise.

"We don't know a thing about it. I'm going to return it as soon as possible." She said

"No way! This thing is awesome. I'm Ayumu."

"I'm Derflingr. Nice to meet you brother." It said.

"Why does all of the strange stuff have to happen to me." Louise asked herself.


Ozborn sat in his office signing a document. When he finished writing, he levitated it to a man bearing a red cape. After skimming it, he said, "I am grateful of the institution's understandings and full cooperation."

"Understanding and cooperation are completely irrelevant with an order from the palace." He said to the man.

"Very well." He said before walking out. He turned to the green-haired assistant. "Perhaps we should have dinner some time Longueville."

"Oh, you flatter me Count Mont. It woule an honor."

"Good. I will look forward to it, then." Count Mont said before walking off.

"What impossible task did the palace asked for this time?" She asked Osborn.

"Oh, his Excellency, Count Mont, just came by to warn us to be careful of thieves."

"We have thieves?"

"Lately, a fellow name Fouquet the Claud has been causing a stir by using magic to steal treasures concentrated on those of nobility."

"Well I've never heard of Fouquet the Claud."

"In our institute, there is a sacred treasure that we have borrowed from the palace, the Staff of Destruction."

"The Staff of Destruction? That certainly is a troubling name."

"I don't know how adept a mage this Fouquet is, but the treasure vault here is a special one. Many square class mages have layered countless traps upon it. They're being overly anxious about it, if you ask me.


Ayumu sat outside at night, rewashing Louise's stockings.

Well, least she's not calling me a maggot or throwing shuriken into my eyes or stalking me for my ass. But this water is so cold. This is ridiculous. What's the big deal about stockings?

He turned around after hearing footsteps.

"Oh,I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." Siesta said.

"You didn't."

Ayumu thanked her for showing him how to wash the stockings.

"By the way, Mr. Ayumu, I wanted to know about the place you originally come from."

"Well, it's nowhere close to here, I'll tell you that. Where I come from, magic exists in secret from normal humans. Monsters called Megalos, necromancer, vampire ninja, annoying magical girls known as Magical Garment Girls. And, of course…zombies."

"Um, Mr. Ayumu?"

"Huh?"

"Thank you." She said.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"You never give up, no matter what happens. And you're willing to stand up against the nobility. Seeing you like that, Mr. Ayumu, has given me a lot of courage. I can continue to do my best all because of you, Mr. Ayumu."

"That's really nice of you."

"Goodnight Mr. Ayumu." She said with a bow.

"Yeah, goodnight."


There we go! Chapter 4, finished. I've been up pass midnight writing this so I really hope you guys enjoy. Until next time guys, stay awesome!