Title: I'm not gay!

Pairings: Arthur/Merlin

Rating: M

Warnings: explicit sexual content, tipsy sex, first times, nerdy!Merlin, prattish!Arthur (perhaps they are a little OOC) and some attempts at humour and angst (although I don't know if they are any good). Oh, also, I'm sorry for all the stupid and prattish opinions you can find in this fic, but since it's written from Arthur's POV, they are all his! ;)

Disclaimer: All credits go to BBC Merlin for creating such wonderful characters!

Summary: ModernAU. Arthur is completely straight. Then, why does that nerd always look at him like that in class? And why does it affect him so much? All he needs is a night out and everything will solve itself... Or not? nerdy!merlin/prattish!Arthur. Slash.

Word count for this chapter: around 3,300

AN: Finally, the last installment! Sorry for the lateness but this past week was really horrible. Anyway, thanks for the new comments, favourites and follows. They make me happier! Also, perhaps this chapter seems a bit rushed but I really liked the idea that just one night was enough to change Arthur's life and that Merlin could reach to him so quickly. I hope everyone likes the ending! As always, let me know your opinion.

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CHAPTER FOUR - The first morning of the rest of their lives

Arthur opened his eyes lazily. Morning had arrived relentlessly and the sun was sent as his minion to wake him up horribly with those extremely shiny beams of light flooding in from the window. Arthur groaned. His head seemed to be still far away, his brain swimming inside his skull. He was sure he had a horrible morning breath. He wished for sleep to take him again away from the pain of the hangover when he felt something beside him or more precisely someone snuggling closer to him. Had he got laid last night?

Arthur didn't dare turn around and look at his bed partner for a few seconds, afraid of what he might find, but those lanky arms around him told him this was real enough. He finally manned up and turned his head slowly not to wake them (or maybe scare them away?). What he found left him breathless. Merlin, the nerd, his stalker from his Maths class was there with him. In his bed. His head but a couple of centimeters from his, a happy contented smile painted on his lips. And, yeah, this time Arthur dared to lift the sheets slightly and peek under them to discover both of them were NAKED! Oh God!

Obviously, he did the only thing his confused mind let him do. He sat up alarmed (practically pushing the poor sleeping geek away from him) and breathed a loud and hoarse, 'Fuck!' And that was his undoing because any possible moment he could have had to think alone before facing Merlin was gone as soon as the nerdy boy was awoken abruptly by his indelicate push and his too loud swearing.

Arthur remained very still, his eyes open wide and still fixed on Merlin as the nerd blinked blearily a couple of times before he finally directed his oh so blue glassless gaze to Arthur. Images of last night started to flash in Arthur's traitorous mind, from sweet kisses and roaming hands to shy blowjobs and blinding pleasure. The fact that he tried to avoid Merlin's eyes and looked around his room just to discover their discarded clothes and an used condom on the floor didn't improve the situation either. Actually, just thinking about what the heck all that was only helped to increase his already splitting hangover.

Then Merlin did the worst possible thing. Instead of reading Arthur's shocked face and leaving him to comprehend his current predicament, he smiled blindly (that is easy if you aren't hungover) and leaned up to plant a sweet chaste kiss in the corner of Arthur's mouth, accompanied by a cheerful whispered, 'Good morning, Arthur!' His arms sneaked around Arthur's waist to hug him once more as he rested his head on Arthur's shoulder. That brought Arthur back from the far land of 'freaking out as you remember what you did while drunk' and startled him more than anything. How could they be so lovey-dovey in the morning after their first… Oh God, what was happening there?

In that moment, panic took control over Arthur and, headache forgotten, he shoved Merlin away unceremoniously and jumped up from the bed shouting, "Stay away from me, you freak!"

Arthur's ragged breaths increased when he noticed he was very much naked (not to mention that he had just realized he was rather sticky, but he preferred not to think about it right now, thank you very much, he was already far too shaken up) in front of his stalker, the guy that had made him try those kinds of things... Without thinking, Arthur took the first thing at hand to cover himself up – the bedsheets. And it wasn't until he had them wrapped securely around his waist and covering his (more precious) parts that he noticed now the one naked was the nerd on his bed.

Arthur couldn't avoid looking at him, at his unblemished pale skin, his lean body, his face... but then he wished he hadn't looked at all. And it wasn't because he found his nakedness disturbingly alluring (even when he wasn't drunk anymore) and anyway, now he could remember the previous night (although a bit blurringly), he had already seen and touched all there was too see and touch. No, it was the expression in that sweet face. That damn pained expression. The way the nerd was looking up at him with utter shock and... sadness, not even bothering to try to cover himself up.

"Out!" Arthur whispered because he couldn't bear it. Because if he continued staring at Merlin, he might very well do something he wasn't sure he was prepared for, something like hugging and kissing away his nerd's dejected expression (What? Was that what he really wanted?!). So he opted for the easiest solution. "I want you out of my flat," he said seriously. "I'll give you five minutes while I shower and when I come out of the bathroom I don't want to see you here." Merlin didn't move as he looked with confusion at Arthur's retreating back. That certainly wasn't what the poor geek expected after last night, but Arthur didn't give a damn at the moment.

He slammed the bathroom's door shut and went directly to the washbasin. Mechanically, he splashed his face with cold water and then he looked at his reflection in the mirror. Apart from the obvious hangover and lack of sleep his face showed, he didn't seem any different but oh he was. He had …. he had... fucked a man. And not any man. A nerd. The same nerd that had spent the last months staring at him, following him and flirting with him. The same nerd he had tried so hard to escape from, to avoid, to forget. And now he was just there in his bedroom, in his bed after a night of passion... Arthur shook his head frantically, what was he going to do?

He was cracking up more and more by the minute... He took a couple of deep breaths in order to calm himself and forced his mind to think more clearly. He had had sex with a man... and what? Surely that didn't mean he was gay... He couldn't be gay. He hadn't liked it at all... It had been strange and... and amazing... Arggg... Arthur sighed. He had to admit it, at least to himself. Despite the awkwardness, there had been something more, a spark of something different, something that made his heart flutter... But no, he couldn't be gay, after all his relationships with girls. He liked girls and Merlin... Sweet geeky Merlin... No, he couldn't like Merlin. He couldn't feel something for him just because he did some pervy things with the guy... It wasn't logical and... No, Arthur Pendragon couldn't be gay. There was no way.

In an attempt to clear his messed up thoughts and to stop himself from screaming like a true mad man, he unwrapped the sheet from around his waist and entered the shower. Warm water cascaded down his skin and cleaned from his body the last evidences of his night with Merlin. However, his mind keep repeating the same words, 'I'm not gay. It can't be... I can't be gay... I...' He thought of his strict father's scolding face, the cruel laugh of some of his most bitchy ex girlfriends, the disapproving look of his friends and classmates... What would they think of him? What would all those people that looked up at him as the perfect guy think of him if they knew that not only he had gone to bed with a nerdy guy but that he... he had enjoyed it? The famous Arthur Pendragon might... he might have feelings for a gay stalkerish geek... Now, he was really doomed.

His mind wandered back to the nerd out that door. The noise of the water didn't allow him to hear anything but it was likely that Merlin was already gone by then. Arthur had certainly taken his sweet time to panic but at the moment he hadn't felt like facing Merlin. Perhaps throwing Merlin out had been a bit drastic but it had bought him time to have his little break down alone and now it would be at least some days before he would have to see the nerd. Yeah, that was it. That would give him enough time to mull over his confused feelings and decide what he wanted to do with them, or even better, he could be lucky enough not to ever have to see Merlin again and avoid the situation altogether. You know, 'out of sight, out of mind'. Arthur groaned. He wouldn't be that lucky. But at least he felt more relaxed now.

As he got out of the shower and dried himself with a clean towel, a plan formed in his head. A plan that involved strong coffee, some painkillers for his hangover and giving himself some time (or maybe an eternity, although he was afraid that wouldn't be enough) to seriously think about his life, his priorities and his feelings for a certain cute nerd. However, he suddenly stopped himself when his hand touched the door handle, afraid that Merlin could still be there, but soon he dismissed the idea as impossible. After all, he had given the nerd more than the promised 5 minutes and he would really be an idiot if he had stayed after what Arthur had said. So, he opened the door ready to find a room with no Merlin... to be completely wrong.

Yep, there he was. Merlin, already dressed, his glasses even in their right place, sitting on Arthur's unmade bed, as if he were waiting for him patiently. That was Arthur's undoing, his intentions of considering everything more calmly and then come to a wise decision quickly forgotten. This wasn't what he had planned. He wasn't ready. He had told the nerd to go, he had given him enough time to flee his flat and yet he had had the gall not only to stay but also, as soon as he saw Arthur out of the bathroom, he got up and stepped towards him.

"Arthur... I..." That was all Merlin got to say before Arthur exploded. His fear of his own feelings taking hold of him once more when facing such a complicated situation.

"Just shut up! I told you to leave! I don't want to know anything else about you! This was just a mistake! I was drunk and you were just fucking persistent. You were just a pity fuck but nothing like this is ever going to happen again. Do you understand?" Of course, Arthur didn't give Merlin time to answer. He was too far gone in his own despair and insecurity. "Now, go!"

Unfortunately, once more Merlin didn't pay heed to his warning. Perhaps it was out of shock or maybe because he was trying to contain the sobs that were about to bubble up from his throat, but Merlin simply stayed there, trembling slightly after hearing what Arthur had just said. And then the nerd shouted back at him, "You're an utter prat, Arthur Pendragon. I don't understand how I have been able to fall in love with you. Why does it have to be you?"

When the first furious tear appeared in Merlin's eyes, something shattered inside Arthur, making him question his stupid indecision, his irrational fear of something that deep down he longed for more than anything. Merlin was just looking at him with something akin sadness and disappointment (which somehow was far worse than anger or resentment), he was staring at him as if Arthur had let him down in the most horrible way and he could only curse himself for making such a beautiful creature cry. His past anger and doubts all but forgotten, the only think in Arthur's mind was, 'What have I done?'

Then Merlin made to leave for the door and possibly out of his life forever. Arthur was about to see his last night wishes finally come true and yet he couldn't let that happen. That night had changed everything, but in a completely different way that he hadn't even thought possible. Now, he could see it clearly. He had never been so nervous with anyone. It had never felt so good or so true with anyone. And no one had ever looked at him like that, as if he was the most important person in the world. Most people only cared about his family name, his money, his connections or his appearance and, although he had a few really good friends, Merlin was a completely different story.

From the way he had flirted with him so innocently to his insane prattle last nigh, from his beautiful blue eyes to his delicious sweet mouth, Merlin clearly meant to him more than a mere friend could ever mean. Arthur did feel a connection with the geek and it had been just his cowardice about what people would think, about how different it would be that had prevented him from embracing his feelings and dare try to be with Merlin.

Truth be granted, there was no guarantee of happiness (his father wouldn't approve of him being with a man so easily) but Arthur felt something, kind of a flutter in his chest that he had never felt before for anyone, not even Gwen or Mithian for whom he had cared a great deal (and who he still love as good friends). That sense of protectiveness, that pull he had felt towards Merlin since the first time he had sensed his eyes on him... No matter how much he had tried to avoid the nerd, to forget him, destiny seemed to want them together, and what happened last night, as much as it had scared Arthur, had also shown him how good they could be together.

And now, he was about to lose the best thing that he would probably have in his life. Arthur prayed it wasn't too late. Everything be damned, he followed Merlin out of his room and into the corridor, cutting his way before he could reach the main door. Merlin's reaction, however, wasn't what he had expected since he turned around as soon as Arthur stood in front of him, clearly not wishing to look at him anymore. That hurt and, even though he knew he deserved it, Arthur was going to give up.

"Sorry," Arthur mumbled a bit uncertainly but it seemed Merlin was able to hear his barely whispered apology. He turned around while trying to wipe away with his hands the remaining evidence of his weeping from his eyes and cheeks. However, neither his efforts nor his glasses were able to hide completely the tracks of his tears and the redness of his eyes. But there was something more on his pretty face, there was a small spark of something that resembled very much hope. Even after how rude and disagreeable Arthur had been to him, Merlin was still willing to hear him out (dare Arthur hope even to forgive him?). It was really a promising start and Arthur's heart soared with happiness: No one had ever trusted him so much.

Before knowing what he was doing, Arthur was confessing everything he felt to the nerd, "I quite liked it... I liked it a lot. And I think... I may like you... I... I'm confused, I have never... I've never thought, I... and another guy... but then you..." he wasn't very coherent at the moment.

It would be no surprise if Merlin wasn't understanding anything of what he was trying to say but Arthur still had his attention and he was determined to make the most of it. That's why he took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second to try to clear up his thoughts enough for him to be able to say a complete phrase with sense. After all, he had already wrapped his mind around the fact that yeah, he had more than probably fallen in love with his cute nerdy stalker (because, let's be truthful, he had basked in his gaze even if he hadn't wanted to admit it, he hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of him the previous night and then there was the blatant evidence that they were compatible and not only in bed). That being established, there was only one think to do.

So, when he opened his eyes, Arthur said, "I think I've fallen for you." This phrase did have sense, apparently the sense Merlin had been waiting for because he launched himself on Arthur and hugged him against himself, burying his face in Arthur's neck.

"I love you," Merlin confessed back, "I can't explain how it has happened... but since the first time I saw you, I knew we were made for each other."

And that sounded incredibly cheesy but Arthur didn't even dare to chuckle at the moment. He felt so complete, so right, just there with Merlin's arms wrapped around him, that he said it without thinking, "I think... me too, I... want to give us a try."

Merlin exhaled a contented sigh against the soft skin his neck and then he was hugging him more tightly if that was even possible. Arthur, for his part, finally reacted and embraced Merlin's thin form against his chest, resting his face in Merlin's silky black hair.

"You would never regret this, Arthur," Merlin promised. "You'll see..." And for some strange reason Arthur couldn't help but to believe him. There was still the innate fear of being rejected by his father, of receiving a bad reaction from his friends. He wasn't 100% sure he would be able to overcome all his worries and let himself be happy with Merlin. But as for now, he had Merlin with him and that was enough. There would be time to work on all those things and the best way was taking each step at a time, little by little. Something inside him (and not just Merlin) told him this was going to be alright.

Then, Merlin planted a kiss on his neck and leaned away to look at with such an open expression that Arthur couldn't help himself and chuckled cockily in order to alleviate the past tension (because, really, how soppy could two guys get... It must be Merlin's fault, undoubtedly...)

Merlin's response was quite unexpected too. He raised an eyebrow in quite a spectacular way (where could he have learned such a thing?) and looked at him dubiously as if he expected Arthur to still be able to throw him away among peels of cruel laughter. Nevertheless, Arthur's humour couldn't be abated, not even by that cute worried expression. He felt as if he had taken a load of his mind, as if he was finally free.

"And so that you now, I'm not gay!" Arthur affirmed cheekily. "It's just you." Merlin's frown morphed into a cute happy smile that Arthur got to erase quickly with a passionate kiss. The first of many more.

And so Arthur always said that he wasn't gay, even after they shared passionate encounters, or when he finally introduced Merlin as his boyfriend to his friends and family (included his father Uther, but that would be a completely different story), or even the day they married. But, of course, you can't blame Arthur when in a certain way it was true and, anyway, 'gay' is only a word people gives a determinate meaning. The important thing is that Arthur never felt attracted to other men and, after being with Merlin, either to other women. Merlin was all he needed in his life and being in denial about his sexual orientation was just a stupid joke when he had the rest of his life to show that the truth was that as much as Merlin was his, he was all Merlin's.

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Thanks for reading!