Disclaimer; don't you know it by now?
I don't think this is my best writing. I like the running, but that's about it. I'm sorry it's not up to scratch, guys. I've not been feeling myself, lately. That's all.
Song for this chapter is Nobody's home, by Avril Lavigne.
Morning came around sooner than I wanted it to. My plan had more shape to it now, and I knew what I would do, when the time came.
I knew it wasn't really a plan, it had so little substance, but it was all I had – all I knew. I learnt from Edward, after all. I thought back over all the times he'd done it – ran away. I listed them off inside my head, grateful that my mind was impenetrable.
Biology – when he met me, he ran.
James - when he was after me, we ran.
That time – when he couldn't stay with me. He ran.
So why should this be any different? I had, of course, factored in Alice. I kept on changing my mind every few minutes; she wouldn't get any glimpse of it, not properly. Not that she was looking, anyway. I wasn't of importance anymore.
Tanya and the rest of the Denali vampires tortured me for the next few days after I'd arrived at their home. They were all smiles to my face, and presumably behind my back. It was worse than any glares they could have sent my way, knowing that they were pretending so heavily.
I never came too close to any of them. I would constantly retreat to the back room, only leaving when I had to. Jasper stayed in the nights, stroking my hair and whispering to me that we'd be with them soon. As if he wasn't enough.
It was the seventh day we'd been in Denali, and the seventh day without a call that I finally gave up. I couldn't stay here, anymore, waiting for a call that would never come. I couldn't stay here, anymore, while the Denali coven were so sickly sweet, showering me in fake kindness. I couldn't stay here, anymore, knowing that I was hurting Jasper.
I knew that it wasn't only here I couldn't stay. I would have to disappear altogether. I wouldn't kill myself, of course not, but I would run away. I would take myself off the map, I would run to where no one could find me...
and it would be so easy.
I had already put my plan into action.
Every day, rain or shine, cloud or blue sky, I would tell Jasper that I was going to walk in the woods. Every day, I would go a little further, take a little longer to come back. So by the end of my stay at the house, Jasper didn't think anything of it, that I told him I'd be going for a walk in the woods.
I'd gradually taken most of my belongings that I had with me to the forest – only a few items of clothing – and so I was prepared to leave. I did it with a fire in my heart, wanting to stay, and not wanting to leave my entire life behind. But I did it.
"Jasper, I'll be back later, okay?" He nodded, knowing where I was going. He didn't even entertain the notion that I wouldn't be coming back.
"Enjoy, Bella." I nodded and smiled at him, then walked out into the garden, closing the glass door behind me. I kept my usual walking pace until I reached the forest, then I sped up a little, waiting until I was well out of sight, and until I had my bag safely around my shoulders. Then I ran.
I had never been a good runner, I fell over too much. And because of my balance problems, I was terribly unfit. I breathed heavily, my legs flailing as the ground sped past beneath my feet. I had been told that running from something gave you a burst of adrenaline. I didn't feel that, now. I just wanted to get away.
I heard no footsteps behind me as I ran, just my own stumbling, staggering steps; my own shallow breathing as a stitch made itself present in my side. I realized that I was wearing the ankle boots Alice had bought me. They had a built in heel, because she wanted to wean me into heels, apparently. Thinking of her started the tears, those that would take an infinite amount of time to run their course.
I constantly felt as if I was about to fall over, as if I was leaning too far over an edge. I collided with the floor finally, before I got back up and began running again. It continued like that as the dark forest encircled me. Don't go into the woods alone. I missed Edward so terribly, the security of his arms, everything about him. I wondered why I didn't want Jasper, now.
Eventually, I made it out of the dense forest, bleeding and exhausted. I'd fallen over countless times, twisting my ankles until they were severely painful and my hands and knees were scraped raw.
I didn't know how far I'd come, or how long it had taken. I turned around and looked into the forest again. It was black and gloomy and I decided now that I was out, I wouldn't be going back.
I hoped that I had successfully removed myself from their lives, not there to cause hurt anymore. I really hoped, wished with all my might, that that was right. It was a foolish hope, admittedly. Running away from a vampire family to somewhere that may or may not be close to the place where one of them resided wasn't likely to be successful. Especially when that vampire and I loved each other and he was likely to come looking for me.
I was struck out of my thoughts in an instant. I had become so used to the warm feeling of love spreading through me that its absence was blatant. Where was it? Did this mean I didn't love Jasper anymore? I was so confused. I knew one thing, though; I wanted Edward to be here.
"Oh, Bella. You really shouldn't have tried." The velvet voice that I would always recognize was low in my ear as freezing arms wrapped around my waist.
I rejoiced as the warm feeling came back. "Edward!" I spun around, ignoring my protesting limbs.
It was Jasper.
So much for knowing the voice anywhere.
"No, Bella." He chuckled. "But they are coming back." I sighed, content in Jasper's embrace again. He swung me up into the cradle of his arms and began running back where I'd come.
"Does that mean we're going to this UK place, now?" I closed my eyes and frowned, snuggling further into his chest as the wind whipped my face.
"No, change of plan. Turns out Carlisle miscalculated – it's a pretty sunny place during the summer." I nodded. "We're going to stay here in Denali. They'll be back in a few days."
I nodded, contenting myself in his arms as I felt his steady breathing. The run took us around 15 minutes until we were walking back through the Denali coven's garden, and I was shocked at how far I'd come. Jasper sensed this.
"You did run quite a way, I'm surprised." He paused, concentrating, then added casually, "we'll need to clean your cuts, once we get in, too."
I started. "Oh, I'm so sorry Jasper! I can walk the rest of the way, you can't be this close to me!" He shook his head.
"Bella, you can't walk, and anyway, we're not going back to Tanya's house." I frowned.
"Where are we going, then?"
"To our new house. I know you hate it with them. Our things are already there." I nodded. He ran unnecessarily up to the house and opened the glass door to the room we'd previously occupied.
"Tanya, Bella's fine. We're off to the house now. Thank you for everything!" He spoke at a normal level, aware that Tanya would hear. I didn't ask where the others were. He closed the door, turned around again and started running.
After he ran for mere minutes, we appeared in a large field – which I recognized as a garden – with a house in front of us. The first thing I noticed was the size of it – it was smaller than mine and Charlie's home! I had no idea how the Cullens would all fit in this little house. The bricks were red, and the roof black. It was very conventional, and looked homely. I wondered how many houses would become my home now that I was part of the Cullen family.
After Jasper had run with me into the house and set me down on a cream leather couch, he turned around and locked the door we'd so hastily come through.
"What are you doing?" I asked, rubbing my sore ankles.
"The rest of the coven were hunting; I was worried they would accidentally catch your scent."
A thrill of fear ran through me. "Oh. Okay." He sat down next to me, and inspected my ankles briefly, before running off to the direction of what I assumed was the kitchen.
He was back quickly with ice for my sprained limbs and a wet washcloth for my cuts.
"You're too good to me, Jasper." I smiled weakly as he pressed the ice to my ankles.
"Don't be silly, Bella love. You deserve it." I felt a thrill through my body as I heard him call me love. He felt it, too, I was sure, because he pressed a soft kiss to my lips barely a second afterwards.
"We need to do your cuts now, Bella," he pressed the washcloth to my bare knees gingerly, having discarded my jeans. It stung – and I suddenly recognized the smell of antiseptic.
I winced and let out a low hiss.
"I'm sorry, darling, it won't hurt for long." I felt the same thrill, again, and as he gently cleaned my cuts, he placed a soft kiss on each hand.
I couldn't believe that merely months ago, Jasper and I barely spoke, rarely came in contact with each other physically...and now all that had changed. My entire life had changed.
The antiseptic was beginning to take effect, and the open flesh sizzled. I drew breath sharply. "I'm sorry, Bella."
"No, Jasper. I'm the one who should be sorry; this is unnecessarily hard for you, I should do this myself."
"This doesn't bother me, you know." He smiled.
I suddenly remembered Edward's similar words when he was cleaning my cuts a few months back as we left a trail for the newborns. I missed Edward terribly, I knew that much. I, of course, loved him, too. I sighed in despair- I knew Edward loved me, but would I ever get him back?
Jasper pressed his lips to mine again with more fervor. We became more engrossed in the simple kiss than we would have usually condoned, especially when I was in such a compromising situation.
I knew I loved Edward, yes. But as the feelings in the room escalated, and Jasper and I cemented our love for the second time, I wondered did that matter, now that I had Jasper?
I think I'm a bit of an idiot. I need to post better chapters.
