"So, you just don't knock or-?"

"At the door to my own room? No, not usually"

"Not even when you have guests staying?"

"You were asleep!"

"I woke up!"

"And wandered naked around my room, well if I'd only known..."

"Oh, don't be smart no!don'tturnaroundjustyet!"

"This is ridiculous! We've seen each other naked before!"

"It's not like fastpast! It's doesn't get you free nudity whenever!"

"Are you dressed yet woman? I'm hungry!"

"Yes alright, you can turn around, what did you get? Did you get enough for both of us?"

"Oh I just picked a random selection, some spinach puffs, you know..."

"Random selection, hmm?"

"Yes totally random."

"A twenty-seven and a sixteen...you liar, Jafar"

"What? What are you talking about? I picked a selection of what looked good at the time!"

" And at the time you wanted a strawberry milkshake?"

"...Yes"

"With whipped cream...?"

"For your information I was planning on saving the whipped cream for later..."

"Hah! Well, you certainly have a novel seduction technique."

"The way to any creature's heart is through their stomach."

"And the whipped cream?"

"Well, the way to a woman's cu-"

"Enough! You'll ruin my appetite!"

"Oh, I can't have that! Eat then."

"Here? In your rooms?"

"You'd rather eat it downstairs with the rabble?"

"Hah! Fools! I am not afraid of them or their appetites!"

KNOCK KNOCK

"...eep"

"Jafar? Jafar you in there?"

"...shhh"

"Jafar I know you're in there, I can smell food, did you get food?"

"Blast him in half!"

"Hush, woman!"

"Is it Kronk's? Did you get Kronk's? Open up, I can smell the spinach puffs!

Eat them, quickly! Eat them all!"

"We know you were there, Jafar! Facilier says that Hades told him that Megara said that you almost started a riot in Kronk's. He said someone insulted Mal and you went all Turbo and threatened to destroy the place and everyone in it and said that you didn't give a fuck what anyone else thought about Mal, even Mickey, is that true? Jafar? Hey did you get the Inca-Chicken-Combo?"

Avoiding Maleficent's wide golden stare Jafar whispered a short curse and Gaston immediately remembered he had to be elsewhere, losing to someone at Mario kart. They listened to his footsteps die away and Jafar busied himself with his iced tea.

"Jafar"

"Hmm?"

"Did you start a fight in Kronk's?"

"I have no idea what Gaston is talking about, neither does he half the time"

"Jafar?"

"Hmm? These puffs are good, very greasy though"

"Did you start a fight, on Main Street, curse Mickey, risk Sanctions and threaten to destroy the busiest restaurant in Town just because someone slandered my name?"

"No."

"No?"

"No, they also skimped on the whipped cream."


"What was that?" Hans flinched and glanced worriedly at the kitchen ceiling.

"What was what?"

"Didn't you hear that thud? That thump? From right above us?"

Sykes pushed the overflowing food bowls towards his pups and took his time standing up. He cracked his broad back then stared at the ceiling with an air of gentle befuddlement.

"Hmmm, can't say I heard anything."

"What?! But...but it was directly above us! The plates rattled! You're saying you heard nothing?"

Sykes glanced across the broad kitchen table where Ratcliffe was reading and sneaking bacon to Sykes' dogs.

"Ratcliffe? Did you hear anything?"

"It was from above us" Hans butt in " Who's room is above the kitchen? Jafar! That noise was from Jafar's room! Shouldn't we go and investigate?" The young man leant across the table.

"Now that you mention it, I can hear a high-pitched, whining noise with a Slavic accent" Ratcliffe answered not bothering to raise his head from his book "If only there was a way to silence it." He asked the kitchen at large.

" I think I have a way" Sykes chuckled.

"A wh-? Oh no, no no no!" Hans knew where this was headed

"Roscoe, DeSoto – Git Hans!"

The door swung closed after the fleeing Prince and snarling dogs. Sykes went back to his newspaper and cigar and the pleasant calm at the kitchen table settled down once more. After a few seconds Sykes spoke:

"Sounds like Jafar brought Mal around" He mused

"Hmf, from the sound of it Mal brought Jafar around, down, against the wall and every other surface..." Ratcliffe drawled

"Well, at least the Tennis Tournament will go ahead" Sykes smiled

Ratcliffe 'hemmed' in agreement and swiped dust from his shoulders as both men good-naturedly ignored the rhythmic thumps and groans from above them and the screams and growls from outside. Things were back to normal in the Villain's Mansion.


DING DONG

"Um, anybody order a robot called Kyle?!

"grr, It's KYLO!"