A/N: Okay I slightly lied a lot. At the end of the last chapter I said that I would be writing the chapter that inspired this story to be written. Well that part is now going to be in Chapter 5. In the meantime I felt that some things needed to be addressed and said between the characters so expect some angst and fluffnstuff. You might recognize some of the conversations from the game, but I once again added to them and hopefully fleshed them out. Thanks to those who have left reviews so far. I'm writing this story for you. :) Mostly this chapter is an appetizer while I work on the entree. :) Enjoy and review! Thank you!

Disclaimer: My lawyers say I have no legal rights to these characters. I wonder if perhaps there is a conspiracy against me. At the very least I need to have that restraining order lifted. There is no chance Bioware will listen to me otherwise!.

Chapter Four

"I think you are an idiot you know," Aveline stated with conviction as the four companions walked back towards Lowtown through the Smuggler's Cut caves.

"Yes I know you've told me as much three times already," Hawke sighed.

"Well I obviously I haven't told you nearly enough because you clearly aren't listening!"

Merrill suddenly squeezed herself between the two women. "I'm sure what Aveline really means to say is that she believes you should reconsider your current course of action," the young elf said in a conciliatory tone.

"No! I actually did mean to tell her she is an idiot, because she is one," the big warrior said irritably.

"Aveline it just a gift! I don't understand why you are so adamant against it."

Aveline grabbed Hawke's arm and spun her around so that they could face each other. "No Hawke it is not just a gift. It is you curling your tail up between your legs and crawling back to that woman who plays you like a fiddle! She has done nothing but use you, and I for one am sick of seeing it happen!"

Merrill squeaked and attempted to push the two women apart, but her actions were about as effective as an ant pushing against a building. Anders who had been following behind the three women kept himself a safe distance away. "Perhaps ladies we can continue this discussion when we are topside?" he suggested amiably. Neither woman paid him any attention as they stared angrily at one another.

"Isabela and I are just friends now! We haven't been together in months. This is a simply a gift for a friend," Hawke hissed between her teeth.

"Just friends?" Aveline asked sarcastically. "Is your friendship why you stare at her constantly or why you weep when you see her with other men and women? Have any of your other friends ever caused you such misery Hawke?"

"You know it is a bit musty down here and there are a lot of bugs. I really dislike bugs you know. They are creepy crawly things," Anders muttered behind them.

"Aveline I won't lie to you that it has been hard for me, but I promise you that it is over between us. Its just a ship in a bottle."

Aveline looked at her friend sadly and shook her head. "Its never just anything with you two Marian. You can never just look at her like she is a friend. You are the moth and she is the flame and you are continually drawn to her even though doing so will destroy you. It is breaking my heart to watch you do this to yourself night after night." The warrior paused before continuing. "Its like you are punishing yourself."

Hawke turned her head away and stared at a wall. "Its not like that," she said unconvincingly. "Please lets just head back up to the surface," she muttered as she turned and walked ahead of the others.

Aveline watched Hawke walk away and groaned. "I didn't approach that well at all did I?" she asked Merrill.

"Well you were being a little too honest perhaps. Not that she couldn't use some honesty, but I think maybe a little less abruptness would have gone over a tad better. Oh maybe you should have given her a hug after you finished yelling! Hugs always make everyone better don't you think?"

Aveline decided to ignore that suggestion. "I just don't see why she continually throws herself at that damn pirate," she said frustrated.

"Well have you seen that 'damn' pirate's arse? I can think of a few reasons Hawke might throw herself at the woman. Especially her breasts. Those are very nice if you are asking my opinion."

Aveline snapped her head around to glare at Anders. "I'm not and you aren't helping." In response the apostate held his hands up in surrender.

Merrill tilted her head thoughtfully as they walked along. "I think perhaps that Hawke loves Isabela and one doesn't stop doing that do they? Perhaps their souls are connected and they are just struggling against coming together," she suggested helpfully.

The warrior snorted. "You might be right about Hawke's feelings, but I can assure you that Isabela doesn't feel the same. She only ever wanted one thing and I think she got it."

"It does present an appealing image doesn't it? Two women, both sweating..."

"Anders!" Aveline said sternly.

"Sorry sorry! I'll just continue to walk along quietly back here. Just ignore poor Anders."

Merrill was quiet for a few moments before she finally responded. "Aveline I think perhaps you are wrong about Isabela. I see her sometimes watch Hawke and she looks so terribly sad and I think maybe guilty too."

"She is guilty because she sleeps with a different person each and every night!" Aveline accused.

The young elf shook her head. "No. I don't think she does. Varric has been teaching me a lot about a game called poker lately. Its very interesting! I've learned all kinds of useful skills like bluffing and cheating. He says cheating is expected in poker just so long as you don't get caught. Anyways Isabela always seems to flirt with somebody different each night until Hawke leaves and then she joins us for our poker games. She always walks me home too since her new apartment is near the alienage. Sometimes she even stays at my home and sleeps on the extra mat I keep. The extra mat is useful because you never know when you will have company."

Aveline frowned and asked, "So you are saying that she just tortures Hawke for fun then?"

Merrill considered the question. "No, I think perhaps in her own way she believes she is doing what is best for Hawke by pushing her away."

"Gossip is great fun isn't it?" Anders quipped behind them.

"Anders!"

"Yes yes I know. Best seen and not heard," the apostate sighed.


*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*

Aveline's angry words bore heavily on Hawke's mind as she made her way through Lowtown towards The Hanged Man. The warrior had looked disappointed but didn't offer an opinion when Hawke didn't continue towards her mansion in Hightown. Hawke acknowledged that there was some truth in her friend's vehement words, but could not accept them completely. Since their last night together when they spoke of love Isabela seemed insistent upon keeping her distance. If not for the relic that the pirate continued to seek with unflinching fervor, Hawke would have expected Isabela to have fled and joined the crew of the nearest ship she could find. Captainhood be damned.

Hawke placed her hand in the small satchel she carried at her waist and pulled out the bottle she had found. Inside of it there was a remarkable ship that had been crafted by a very talented hand. She knew that Isabela would love it and secretly she hoped that the gift would act as a bridge towards mending the rift between them.

If she thought that the pirate wasn't interested then Hawke truly believed she would stop trying. But there were times when Isabela would inadvertently reveal herself. Like the time she would reach out a helpful hand after a battle and Hawke could see the conflict in the pirate's eyes before they turned hard again. Other times Isabela would purposely flaunt potential lovers in front of Hawke, but she never once left with them. Merrill had told her as much and that truth was more telling about Isabela's feelings than any other.

She clutched the bottle in her hands as she reached the bar. Hawke didn't know if such a small gift as the ship in a bottle could bring Isabela back to her, but she could hope. A couple of other regulars outside nodded their heads in her direction. She recognized a few of them and smiled in return. Inside she spotted the pirate immediately. Isabela sat alone at the bar dangling a mug from her fingertips. Her entire body stiffened as Hawke approached, but she didn't turn around.

"Hawke," the pirate said warily.

"I have a gift for you. Its something I found tonight."

Isabela turned on her stool and her expression softened when Hawke offered her the bottle. The pirate gazed at Hawke conflicted for a moment before accepting the gift. "This is exquisite," she said as she held the bottle close to her face so she could get a better look at the ship.

Hawke leaned in closely grinning. "You can't see it, but below deck there is a perfect replica of you with a dozen sailors in attendance."

Isabela giggled delighted. "Oh you tease, but its definitely a worthy goal to work towards!"

The two women grinned at each other before Isabela sighed and the smile faded from her face. "This was a very thoughtful gift. Thank you so much Hawke," she said sincerely. An uncomfortable silence grew between them and Hawke started to walk away when Isabela placed a hand on her shoulder.

"No matter how I try I just can't get you out of my system."

Hawke didn't turn around and her voice choked in her throat when she replied. "Then why do you try?"

Isabela hesitated, but responded truthfully and sadly. "Because I am not good for you. I am not what you need."

Hawke pulled away from the pirate, but continued to stand with her back to the other woman. "I don't think you should always be the one who decides what is best for us, for me," a pause and then, "I know you never sleep with any of them."

The hand on Hawke's shoulder clenched hard and then Isabela spun the mage around and drew her face close for a passionate kiss that was filled with longing. The other patrons watched them curiously and chattered excitedly but neither woman cared. When they pulled apart Hawke looked joyously happy. "Come home with me Isabela. I've missed you terribly," she confessed.

The pirate pulled away and looked miserable. "I'm sorry Hawke I shouldn't have done that. Its just that I wasn't thinking. Look I need to go home...I'm sorry."

Hawke stood stunned as she watched the pirate hurriedly leave the bar. On the outside she allowed no emotion to show, but on the inside she could feel her heart breaking.


*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*-o-*

Betrayal. Its a nasty word that has no redeeming qualities. Its bitter taste lingers on the tongue and no amount of ale can wash it away. The Fade had been a success in that Feynriel had been saved. The boy had begged for Hawke to end his life, but she had refused. She knew that he had it within him to control his power and had convinced him of a better path. Her words while encouraging to the boy rang hollow in her own heart.

Varric and Isabela had both been seduced by the false promises of the demons. Now as she sat alone at a table in the corner of the Hanged Man she couldn't help but feel anger swell in her heart. Merrill kept taking peeks at her from across the room, but Hawke wasn't feeling receptive towards company on this night. It didn't take long though for Varric to stroll over with his head hung low. He sat down at her table without asking and sighed loudly.

"Look Hawke I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry about what happened in the Fade. Nothing in there felt real. I would never choose a demon over you while conscious and sober."

Hawke laughed a little and felt some of her anger evaporate. She could never stay cross with Varric for long. "So what you are telling me that I don't have to worry about you running off with a desire demon. Unless you are passed out drunk that is?"

Varric lifted his head proudly and proclaimed, "I can safely say milady that if I am passed out drunk then I am not running anywhere! Anyway I guess I'll stop babbling now. Nobody wants to see me doing a Merrill impression anyways," the handsome dwarf said gruffly.

Hawke smiled at him. "I forgive you Varric, I know you would never purposely hurt me. You are a good friend."

Varric nodded and stood up. "As are you Hawke. Look I'd stay for a few drinks, but I think there is someone else that would like to apologize as well," he said as he nodded his head to the side.

Hawke looked over and saw Isabela leaning against a wall watching them. She sauntered over and sat in Varric's stool once he walked away. The pirate didn't say anything but just sadly stared at Hawke with her bewitching eyes. Marian ripped her gaze away from the other woman. "I like big boats, I cannot lie! Really Isabela?" Hawke muttered irritably.

The pirate groaned and put her head in hands so she didn't have to look at Hawke's ire. "Well its true and the blighted demon knew it too!. Look I didn't mean to betray you in the fade. Bollocks I didn't even get the ship in the end! Its not going to sound like much, but that wasn't real for any of us. I wouldn't do that to you here. You should know that."

Hawke sighed. She wanted to continue to be angry at the pirate for this offense, but deep down knew that it was only because she was angry about other things. "I forgive you Isabela," she said finally as she decided to let the matter go.

The pirate on the other hand was shocked. "What? No angry rant where you shoot a lightning bolt up my arse?"

Hawke shrugged deflated. "You seem almost disappointed."

"Well no its not that. I think I just expected you to make an attempt on my life."

Hawke chose her words carefully. "You walked away from me the last time we were together. You kissed me and then left me standing there. I am angry with you Isabela, but not over the Fade. Please I just wish to be alone right now. I need to think about some things."

Isabela nodded and stood up. She placed her hand over Hawke's as it lay on the table. "Look Hawke, I know I've made some mistakes in regard to you, but I honestly feel like I've had your best interests in mind."

Hawke chuckled sadly and replied, "I once said something very similar to my brother concerning the choices he had been making. He told me he was a man and that he was capable of living his life. I was wrong to interfere then just as you are wrong now.

"Perhaps so," was all the reply the pirate conceded. "We can talk more about this tomorrow?"

"Yes I think I would like that."