A/N - thanks for the comments so far, all are much appreciated. :-)

Chapter 4

When I reached my room, I'd felt as if I'd floated there, the smile hadn't left my face and the wonderful giddy feeling I had put an extra bounce in my step. I found that the party of girls causing all the noise has dissipated, I was left entering the room with just the sound of my thoughts softly replaying the conversation Pasty and I had had bouncing around in my head.

While I got ready for bed, I allowed myself to analyse our unexpected encounter. I thought of Patsy and how different to the other girls she was - and her friendly, and relaxed manner. She seemed to have this aura of knowing about her; this worldly experience that wasn't like the other nurses. She had put me at ease, the way she was able to finally get me to talk and how steadfastly interested she was in what I said. It seemed like an expert tool she had acquired somewhere along the lines and skillfully employed at times most needed. I thought about how confident and assured she was compared to me, and my amazing new talent for falling to pieces whenever I saw her. I thought about how easy her company was and how it didn't feel at all strange, despite my lack of ability to communicate like a normal person. If anything she seemed intent on allaying my unease, I thought about how grateful I was for that and how, on my current form, I would never be able to tell her that.

As I tucked myself into bed, I thought of her sitting next to me on the settee, and how seemingly content she was to be in my company. A classy lady from high society London and a girl from a provincial Welsh village quite comfortable in each others company. I smiled at the thought. Gladys wasn't right about that. I recalled the dusty smell of the settee and that despite this, because of how close she had sat to me, I could actually catch her scent too - she smelled of a not unpleasant mixture of cigarettes, bleach and a hint of perfume or soap. And just thinking about it made me almost sense it again in the air. I felt a little thrill at this as I tried to accurately remember it.

I turned over on to my side and remembered the shine of her hair in the yellow light of the cellar and her sparkly blue eyes. How her strong, high cheekbones cast a shadow across her soft looking, porcelain skin in the warmth of the light. And I settled my reverie on her unbelievably full, red, shapely lips. I lingered there for a while until I was brave enough to reach my hand out to touch her soft lips with my fingers. I felt an instant surge of heat rise in my face mixed with pleasurable, quivering butterflies in my chest and tummy so powerful I needed to sit up. I exhaled deeply and regarded that feeling for a few moments, and I realised that although I'd never experienced it before, I knew exactly what it meant. I knew I wanted to touch Patsy's face for real and not only that, I knew that I wanted to kiss those lips. It made me feel strange and a little wicked to think I wanted to do that but I couldn't deny it. Was I the first person ever to think this way? I thought about all the boys back home that I'd never wanted to kiss, and the suggestive looks that some of the doctors would give me and the other girls, and how the thought of entertaining them was the furthest thing from my mind. My attention quickly returned to Patsy and it was slowly dawning on me why I had been acting so peculiar every time I saw her. These revelations becoming clearer in my mind certainly helped to explain why I had completely and uncharacteristically lost my voice and had become so clumsy in her presence.

I lay back down on the bed, and despite the newfound realisation of my growing feelings for Patsy and what it might mean for me, I shut my eyes tight despite myself, desperate for sleep to come and bring the new day and another encounter with Patsy closer.

I met Patsy in the cellar at the same time as the day before. In truth, I had been there a good fifteen minutes earlier than the agreed time such was my level of anticipation and excitement. Even though I felt quite confident about my knowledge on the subject of Anatomy, after becoming conscious of my feelings, and having thought about Patsy all day during training, I really wanted to see her arrive. I wanted to see her reaction to seeing me and watch her walk towards me. I wanted to know everything about her and see everything she did. God, I had it bad!

As Patsy arrived she did not disappoint - she flashed a breathtaking smile as she approached with swaying hips. Even I wasn't prepared for the jolt of pleasure that shot through my body at the sight. I had been sitting on the dusty old settee and leapt up from it, returning her smile with the best smile I could possibly conjure up. "Hello Pats" I said.

This made her cock her head slightly and retort, "Hel-lo… Deels!" We both laughed. Good start, I congratulated myself!

"Pats." She regarded, "I rather like that! How's the anatomy coming along then?" I flushed as I thought - God, if only she knew!

"Ah… I've been thinking about it non stop since yesterday" I managed. It wasn't a lie!

She chuckled, "Good for you, then we won't have to spend too much time on it tonight then, I hope" She must have seen the disappointment flicker across my face, "Ah, I just mean I'd much rather spend the time getting to know you better, I mean, more about Wales and …" she trailed off. We stood looking at each other for a long moment when she suddenly said as if she just remembered, "Anatomy! Shall we?" She gestured to the settee.

"Of course!" I exclaimed with rather too much gusto, Patsy looked at me with another amused smile and a queer look in her eyes as she sat inches away from me. Oh gosh, oh wow.

After five minutes of recounting points of anatomy it must have become clear to Pats that I didn't really need her help with the subject when she interrupted, "Deels, oh do come clean. You know all of this better than I do, don't you!"

I could not help the sly grin that crept on to my face and Patsy laughed. She relaxed back into the couch and fished around in her cardigan pocket for her cigarettes "Do you mind?" she asked as she pulled them out.

"No, of course not".

She lit the cigarette and took a few puffs. Neither of us spoke for a while until she announced matter-of-factly, "Deels, it's my birthday today."

"What? Oh why didn't you say so Pats? You should be going out for dinner, or a dance with your friends! Not promising to help me study!"

She glanced at me briefly, took another drag on her cigarette before saying slowly, "Well, actually I don't really celebrate my birthday… I haven't for a long time. Besides, before I knew you were an anatomical genius, I thought I was helping you!" She stubbed the cigarette out in a nearby ashtray and continued, "You're such a funny thing, I feel I'd like to get to know you better besides, I'd rather spend my time with someone I like than pretending to have a good time at the pub."

I reply without hesitation, "Oh. You have to do something for your birthday Pats… I could go to the pub with you, I'd like to do that. Maybe we could get a fish supper too? My treat."

It seems I had finally found my voice.