SE Hinton own The Outsiders.
Please review. Much appreciated….
*
"Here," Darry grunts. "I found you a shirt."
Ponyboy bites his lip, wishing he were home and asleep. But Darry insisted on taking him shopping for school clothes. Clothes he won't need for next semester. Darry adds the shirt to the small pile in Pony's arms.
The mall's crowded and obnoxious. Pony's run into a few high school classmates, most of them having stuck it out in Tulsa, giving him looks of envy and approval when Darry tells them he's back for Christmas. They shouldn't bother.
"You really don't have to get me clothes, Dar."
"I saw what you had when you left for college, Ponyboy. Soda's hand-me downs and winter clothes. You need at least a few new things." Darry places a hand on Pony's shoulder, steering him towards a dressing room. "Now go on."
Inside the dressing room, Ponyboy tries on the clothes without a glance. He doesn't want anything, let alone Darry to spend money. He puts the shirt on Darry has given him and freezes. It's short-sleeved, revealing his long, scarred arms.
Suddenly, he feels so worthless. He wants to have died that night; anything to forget this feeling. He's ungrateful and all of his problems he's just shoveling off on Darry and Sodapop. They'll never go away, he thinks, staring at the scars. No matter what Sarah says.
Darry pounds on the door and Ponyboy jumps, wrapping his arms around himself. "What, Dar?"
"How do they fit?"
Pony rips the t-shirt off, throwing it in the corner of the dressing room. He pulls on his shirt and jacket, grabbing up a pair of jeans and a sweater. He opens the door. "I like these."
"That's all? Believe me, it won't break the bank if I buy you a few more things."
"Dar, I just want to get out of the mall. I hate the crowds." Pony grins.
Darry takes the clothes. "Me too, Pone." Darry wraps an arm around Pony's neck, an odd lump in his throat. "I'm glad you're home, kiddo."
*
It's midnight. Pony wakes to an empty house. Being alone frightens him and before panic can take over, he finds them in the garage. Both his brother's are wrapped up in big jackets; Soda's smoking and Darry's fiddling with the radio.
Ponyboy's sleepy eyes squint into the dim light. "What're you two doin out here?"
Soda grins at Pony's disheveled hair. "Talking, smoking."
Ponyboy abruptly gets the feeling that they do this often. Hang out, talk about things Pony doesn't know. How much he's missed out on he'll never know; but it eats at him just the same. It shouldn't bother him but it does.
*
"I thought grades were supposed to come before Christmas?" Darry asks Ponyboy a day later.
"You didn't get them yet?" Ponyboy's voice is a whisper. He knocks his spoon off the table, leaning down to pick it off the floor.
Soda, his mouth full of oatmeal, says, "Mail's slow." He gives Darry a frown, remembering what kind of outburst Ponyboy had last time when they brought up his finals. It's not that Soda doesn't want to rock the boat; he just wants Christmas to be good for his brothers.
"I'm just curious," Darry mutters, defensive. He sets another spoon in front Ponyboy, taking the fallen one. Pony takes a small bite of oatmeal, chewing slowly. He's on edge; he can feel Darry pacing behind him.
"Do you get any time off work for Christmas, Dar?" Soda asks.
"Yeah, a few days." Darry pours himself another cup of coffee. "We're slow this time of year."
"We should do something," Soda says, leaning back in the chair. Pony's still chewing on his first bite, watching quietly. His hair's a deep russet—more brown than red from what Sodapop remembers—but his eyes are dull.
Darry nods, but Soda can tell he's distracted. "Like what?"
"I don't know…? Camping?"
"We'd freeze to death." Darry smiles and then eyes his youngest brother. "Pony…" Darry begins. "What are you planning to do now that you're not running track?" Darry can't keep the disappointment from his voice.
"What does it matter?" Pony's wince is brief, but it's there.
"Well, I'm sure you'll have a lot of spare time..."
"I probably will. But I'll let you know if I take up another hobby since I'm sure you'll have an opinion on that too."
Soda, in the middle of taking a drink of orange juice, chokes on the liquid. Ponyboy reaches over, pounding him on the back.
*
"Soda, what's going on man? It's an oil change and you switched out the brake pads."
"Shit."
Soda lights a smoke and Steve sighs. The only time Soda smokes is when he's worried. And when he's worried, it's usually about Ponyboy. "Is it the kid? Because I know I'm right. You just gotta kick his ass a little—"
"Did someone mention asses?" Two-Bit strolls inside the garage, shoving the side door shut against the wind and snow. The garage's windows are frozen over with ice. The few space heaters keeping the garage warm as best they can.
"I told you, lay off of him." Soda juts his cigarette at Steve. "He got you that B on your final, asshole."
Steve smirks. "Barely." Soda rolls his eyes.
Two-Bit sticks his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. "So what's the news?" He picks up a wrench from the work bench, twirling it between his fingers like a baton.
Soda unlatches the tailgate of the truck they're working on and sits down. "Did you know he quit track?"
Two-Bit gawks at him. "No shit." Steve just stays quiet, watching Sodapop.
"Something about it 'not being for him'. What a load of shit..."
"He is…acting mighty strange lately," Two-Bit says, choosing his words carefully. "No offense, Sodapop, but sometimes it's like talking to a wall."
Soda scowls, rubbing his hands together to warm them. "I just don't know what to do. He's so goddamn stubborn."
"Well," Steve points out. "At least that hasn't changed."
*
Alice bounces on over to the house the day before Christmas Eve. She brings her own pans and utensils, laying them out on the counter top. She counts them in her mind, doing inventory of what pan will hold which dish.
"What's wrong with mine?" Darry asks, injured.
"Yours are boys. They're beat up." Gently, picks up a frying pan. It's polished handle gleams in the light. "See? Perfect." Darry snorts and ignoring this, she asks, "Now. Ham or turkey tomorrow?"
"Pony?" Darry asks the house, knowing Soda's gone god knows where. "You want ham or turkey tomorrow?"
There's a long pause and then, "I don't care." The front door opens and slams.
"Of course he doesn't," Darry mutters. "I swear to Christ he gave me less shit when he lived here." Frustrated, he holds his hands out to Alice. "Cook 'em both for all I care." Darry storms out of the kitchen.
Alice looks at her perfect pans and sighs.
*
"Want a smoke?" Two-Bit asks as Pony comes outside.
"No."
Two-Bit twists around on the bench. His hands are jammed in his pockets, warming them. It's a veritable blizzard outside.
"You quit?"
"Something like that."
Ponyboy can't smoke. The addiction just reminds him of that night. Smoking, smoke in the room, his hallucination, burning lungs, burning up, burning—
Two-Bit nods. "That's good. Did you tell Darry?"
"What does it matter?"
"You don't give yourself enough credit."
*
Pony touches his thumping chest. His heart is so loud. "Can anyone hear that?" he asks the room, blood still dripping down his arms.
"Here," his roommate hands him a towel.
The room spins and Ponyboy hits the ground. "Soda?" he asks. There's a can cracking and then someone sets a Pepsi next to him. Ponyboy giggles and then smacks the drink aside. The brown liquid syrup sinks into the knees of his jeans.
*
It's Christmas Eve and Pony's never felt so shitty. He wakes at nine in the morning, considers going back to sleep and then crawls out of bed. Keeping up his normal front is tiring and even he can tell it's not fooling anyone.
"Can I help with anything?" he asks Alice who's already over at the house. She's slept there the night before, but Ponyboy, going to bed without saying goodnight, doesn't know this.
"No," she smiles and Ponyboy realizes just how pretty she is. She's Darry's type; sweet, small but strong when she needs to be. "You just go get changed."
Pony eyes the ham and the turkey resting on the countertop. "Um, I don't think Darry really wanted you to cook both of them."
She props her hands on her hips. "Well, I am. And he can just deal with it."
Ponyboy laughs at her indignation and scoots off for the shower.
*
Two-Bit dumps the pumpkin pie batter in the pie crust. "Hi, Betty Crocker," Ponyboy says, fresh from the shower. He pads past Two-Bit, hair fluffy from its air-dry.
"Hey-ho, kiddo," Two-Bit drawls. "Thought I'd help ol' Alice out for a bit since the rest of the boys are smoking in the garage."
"You're such a good wife."
"And I put out too. That's something to be thankful for."
Laughing, Pony sits at the table. He slips some socks on. "Where's Kathy?"
"Aw, my little lady was needed at her mom's house. Not too sure how that's gonna go since Kathy can't cook worth a—" Two-Bit eyes, Alice, selecting a milder curse. "—damn."
Alice turns the oven on. "That's too bad. I was looking forward to meeting her." As Two-Bit promises a next time, and Alice giggles, Ponyboy shuts his eyes.
Pony's made up his mind that today will be a good day. He rallied, gave himself a pep talk in the shower. He'll smile and get through it. His family has always put a lot into Christmas; Darry more than ever since their parents died, carrying out traditions, making their own. It's important to Darry; them all being together, not having to work. Pony can't give up the ghost. He won't. It's important. It's necessary for his—
Just then the phone rings.
*
"I want to talk to you," the silky voice on the other end of the line says. Despite its sweetness, the voice is spitting mad. "Baby, I know you're there."
Stricken, Ponyboy stands numbly in the middle of the room. Alice glances at him. "You okay, honey?" Although, she doesn't know him very well, she's beginning to see what Darry's getting so worked up about.
Two-Bit pokes his head out. "Kid?"
Ponyboy gulps and nods. He stares at the Christmas tree and the lights blur. "—seeing you one way or the other. I'ma mind to come down there—"
"No!" He shouts and eyes turn. "No, Sarah, I'll meet you. Really."
"Okay. Where?"
He gives her the address and hangs up. His hands shake. "What's goin on, Pone?" Two-Bit asks, raising a concerned brow.
"Nothing."
Pony leaves the house, finding his brothers and Steve in the garage. They're sitting in the bed of a busted pickup truck, playing cards and smoking cigars. The smoke's thick, burning Pony's nostrils. It's freezing in the garage and Pony wonders how they can stand it. All their noses are bright red.
"Can I borrow the truck?"
Darry frowns. "Where're you going? It's Christmas Eve."
"I forgot something at the store."
Soda ashes his cigar. "Everything'll be closed."
"No, it won't." Pony says this lightly, trying not to let them see how jumpy he really is. "I'll be quick. 'Sides we're not eating until later right? Six?"
Darry pats his pockets. Finding the keys, he hands them to his brother. "Fine. Just drive careful," he says. "The snow's getting worse." Worried, he watches Ponyboy tear out of the garage.
"I'll raise you," Steve tells Soda. Soda calls him. Suddenly, the air rips with the sound of a revving engine, tires squealing in panic. Soda sets his cards down, eyeing Darry.
*
"He doesn't look too good," someone unseen says.
A hand touches his face."What'd you do to this poor kid?" It's a female voice; a woman's and a girl's combined.
"It was just supposed to be a joke…"
"Yeah, well, real funny. This kid's OD'ing. I'm taking him to my dad."
"He'll narc—"
"Get the hell outta my way, Jake."
Another voice. "He's burning up, Sarah." Another hand.
Burning. Just like Johnny. Ponyboy watches smoke pool into the room, around his arms, into his mouth. Ponyboy chokes on it and begins to scream.
*
Pardon typos.
And not to worry, Sarah will be explained in the next chapter.
Please review!!
