"I just thought of something," I looked up from the essay I was writing and looked at Lily. "Do the others know about you? Being gay, I mean?"
"I told them last year. They were very accepting; they always are. They even joked around about setting me up with a few blokes," I smiled fondly at the memory before I was overwhelmed by a sudden feeling. I hadn't realized how much I missed by friends until now.
"So what's the story behind you and Avery?" Lily asked, putting her stuff aside. I had known she was going to ask that ever since we left the library earlier. I'm surprised she put it off for a day before asking me.
"He and I fooled around a bit a couple years ago," I explained. I saw Lily's eyes widen in shock. I guess Remus Lupin and fooling around don't exactly mix together; that was more of Sirius's job. "We met back in fifth year when we got paired up for potions. We kinda found out about each other fancying guys, so we did a little experimenting. It wasn't anything serious."
"Well, he is pretty cute," I heard the hidden implication in her seemingly innocent comment. She thinks I should go out with Avery. And, to be honest, I really am considering it.
"Who's cute? You're not talking about me, are you Lily?" James approached us with a wide grin, Peter walking slowly behind him.
"You wish, Potter," Lily scoffed and picked up her books, going back to work on her essay.
"Remus, can we talk for a bit?" James asked; he and Peter were both looking at me.
"Sure, James, what do you want to talk about?"
"Err," James glanced at Lily. "I wanted to talk about last night."
"What about last night?" I could tell he wanted to talk about the full moon. Peter pointed at Lily behind James's back. Oh yeah, they don't know that she knows.
"Why don't we go upstairs? So Lily here can do her homework in peace?" Peter suggested.
"Yeah, great idea, Pete," James replied, already heading for the stairs, Peter following in tow.
"I'll see you later, Lily," I packed my things and quickly followed them up the stairs.
"Why didn't you tell us that last night was a full moon?" James asked as soon as the door was closed. Peter cast a quick silencing charm around the room.
"I wasn't aware I had to tell you. I never had to before," I walked over to my bed and started putting my stuff away. I didn't intend for it to sound cold, but I couldn't help it. I saw James wince at the tone in my voice and felt a bit of guilt.
"I'm so sorry, Moony," James took a step closer and put a hand on my shoulder. "I guess we were caught up planning our Halloween prank that we totally forgot. I'm sorry."
The Halloween prank that Sally had helped them on? I felt anger build up in me and silently reprimanded myself for sounding so petty.
"I'm sorry, too, Moony," Peter said quietly when I didn't reply to James.
"It's alright, guys," I sat on my bed and gave them a small smile. "I understand. Well, I'm tired, so I'm going—"
"Remmy!" Sirius had burst in the door. His face was flushed, like he had run up here. A warm feeling started in my chest at the idea that he was worried about me. But then I saw a fresh bite mark on his neck and realized that he had just left Sally. I could feel my heart start to break again.
"—to bed. Goodnight." I pulled the curtains around my bed shut before Sirius got too close. I grabbed a pillow and hugged it close to my chest.
"He's mad at me, isn't he?" I heard the hurt in Sirius's voice and wanted desperately to tell him that I wasn't, but I would only be lying. I was mad at him. I was mad at him for being with Sally, for forgetting about the full moon and leaving me there to suffer, and for not being able to return my feelings. But most of all, I was mad at myself for knowing that he can never feel the same way about, but still loving him with my whole heart and soul.
"He's just tired, Pads," I heard James's quiet reply. "Just give him time to rest. I'm sure he'll feel better in the morning."
With shaky hands, I grabbed my wand and cast a silencing spell around my bed and charmed the curtains so they couldn't be opened by anyone else. Then I proceeded to cry myself to sleep.
I avoided Sirius after that. I left the dorms before the guys woke up and hid out in the library most of the time. I took the map we made with me so they wouldn't be able to use it to find me. The rest of the weekend went smoothly, without any run ins with the Marauders, and that was saying something because we all shared a room.
Then finally Monday came. I knew I couldn't avoid them forever, seeing as we had most of our classes together. I woke up early as usual, and proceeded to the bathroom quietly. After I got dressed, I went down to the library. I hadn't finished the essay I was working on Saturday night because James and Peter interrupted me, and I couldn't bring myself to do it yesterday. There were very few people in the library because it was still very early. I looked down at my watch; I had half an hour before breakfast started. On my way to my table at the back, I spotted a familiar blond head of hair. It was Avery. After a quick debate with myself, I went over to where he was sitting.
"Is it okay if I sit here?" I asked, repeating the same words he had used the day before. He looked up at me in surprise, before smiling widely at me, gesturing to the chair opposite of him. He had a very nice smile.
"I don't think I've ever seen you here this early," Avery commented as soon as I sat down.
"I didn't get a chance to finish my Potions essay last night. So I thought I'd come here and work on it." I pulled out my half finished essay, a quill, and some ink. I fell into a comfortable silence with Avery as I hurried to finish my essay. I was so immersed in my writing, that I almost forgot there was someone else with me. Once I finished, I noticed Avery was looking at me.
"You weren't waiting for me, were you?" I tried to fight the blush that was making its way up my neck. Avery seems to be making me do that a lot.
"I thought it would be nice to walk down to breakfast together," he replied with a small smile. I couldn't help but smile back; it was a really nice gesture. I packed my stuff quickly and we left the library and made our way to breakfast.
"Let me hold your bag," Without giving me a chance to respond, Avery slipped the strap of my bag off my shoulder and slung it over his left shoulder; his right one was holding his own bag.
"You really don't have to do that," I tried to take my bag back from him, but he moved out of my way.
"I want to do it," he moved again as I tried to make another grab for my bag. "Your limping, Remus, and your bag is pretty heavy. You have to go easy on your leg if you want it to get better soon."
"I…thanks," I was embarrassed that he had to carry my bag for me, but I couldn't help but smile. It felt great to have someone who cared for me. I don't think anyone's ever offered to help me when I was recovering from a transformation before; except maybe Sirius.
No! No more thinking of Sirius, I told myself. He has Sally, now. And even if he didn't, there's no way he can love you in a romantic way. I need to stop thinking about Sirius and try to move on. Move on, move on, move on!
"So how did you get that limp, anyway?" Avery asked, stopping my internal scolding. He looked at me with curiosity evident in his blue eyes.
"I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and took a bad fall," I reply sheepishly. With all the injuries I've had over the years, I've gotten pretty good at lying about how I've gotten them. It makes me come out as clumsy, but it's better than the truth.
It wasn't long before Avery and I entered the Great Hall side by side, with him still holding my backpack. I had taken a while finishing my essay and most of the students were already seated and eating breakfast. I thought that Avery would hand me back my bag as soon as we reached the Great Hall, but he didn't. He was just about to walk over to where Sirius was. Sally was at his side as usual, but he was looking at me and Avery with a weird expression on his face.
I put my hand on his elbow to stop him and started walking over to where Lily was sitting, watching us with an excited expression on her face. Avery looked at me questioningly. I can practically hear him wondering why I wasn't sitting with my friends. He didn't say anything though; he just followed me to where Lily was. He didn't let go of my bag until I finally took a seat next to Lily.
"Go easy on your leg," Avery slid my bag off his shoulder and handed it to me. "I'll steal your bag again and walk you around this whole castle if I have to."
"Thanks," My face was burning now. I could feel the people around me looking at me curiously and feel Lily practically about to burst with questions. Avery gave me one last smile before walking over to the Ravenclaw table. Once he was out of earshot, Lily turned to me.
"Okay Remus Lupin, talk."
I laughed at the excitement in her voice and quickly told her what had happened that morning. If I had bothered to look over at the other side of the table, I probably would have noticed Sirius shooting me strange looks all throughout breakfast.
Another chapter finished. Review, yes?
And a big thanks to all those who reviewed, alerted, and added this story to their favorites. You have no idea how happy that makes me feel. *hugs* for you all!
Now, my classes start up again in a week so I have no idea how busy I'll be after that. BUT, I'm trying to write as many chapters now in the week I have left. I'll post up the finished ones every few days, or sooner if I'm motivated enough *hinthint* =D
